# No more color-coded terror alerts, as of April 27th **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 26, 2011, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-more-color-coded-terror-alerts-as-of-april-27th/569119 "2011-01-26T23:46:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![fuzzypickles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9d8465/32.png) [@fuzzypickles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fuzzypickles)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2011, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-more-color-coded-terror-alerts-as-of-april-27th/569119/1 "2011-01-26T23:46:47Z")
From [Yahoo! News](http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110126/ap_on_re_us/us_color_coded_threats): > [@](#): > > WASHINGTON – By the end of April, terror threats to the U.S. will no longer be described in shades of green, blue, yellow, orange and red, The Associated Press has learned. > > The nation’s color-coded terror warning system will be phased out beginning this week, according to government officials familiar with the plan. The officials requested anonymity to speak ahead of an announcement scheduled Thursday by Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano. > > The Homeland Security Department and other government agencies have been reviewing the Homeland Security Advisory System’s usefulness for more than a year. One of the most notable changes to come: The public will no longer hear automated recordings at U.S. airports stating that the threat level is orange. This totally sucks – how will I know when to be irrationally afraid? ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-more-color-coded-terror-alerts-as-of-april-27th/569119/2 "2011-01-27T00:06:52Z")
Go for Rastafarian alerts: Aiiit. 'S all ree. Wut?! Git off me! CRITICALL. ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-more-color-coded-terror-alerts-as-of-april-27th/569119/3 "2011-01-27T00:39:58Z")
For ease of understanding, instead of colors they will now designate a series of animals, each level being more frightening. As I understand it, the levels will be: [ul] [li]Bunny (not frightening at all)[/li][li]Mosquito (slightly annoying)[/li][li]Rat (icky, kinda scary)[/li][li]Snake (scary)[/li][li]Wolf (Terrifying)[/li][/ul] Of course, the current threat level is Wolf. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-more-color-coded-terror-alerts-as-of-april-27th/569119/4 "2011-01-27T00:43:17Z")
You mean the Norfolk, VA airport won’t be level orange? It’s been level orange for a solid 10 years; I am not sure what people will do with no orange. ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-more-color-coded-terror-alerts-as-of-april-27th/569119/5 "2011-01-27T06:08:40Z")
> [@fuzzypickles](#): > > This totally sucks – how will I know when to be irrationally afraid? Obviously the point is for you/us to be irrationally afraid all the time. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-more-color-coded-terror-alerts-as-of-april-27th/569119/6 "2011-01-27T08:32:15Z")
It took them 10 years to figure out that everyone ignores it if it’s only ever two colors; Agent Orange and Terror Red? Our government inaction. ---
**Author:** ![Double\_Foolscap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85e7bf/32.png) [@Double\_Foolscap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Double_Foolscap)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-more-color-coded-terror-alerts-as-of-april-27th/569119/7 "2011-01-27T12:14:28Z")
This quote seems appropriate: > [@American Dad](#): > > Francine, you be very careful out there today, we’re at terror alert orange! Which means something might go down somewhere in some way at some point in time - so look sharp! Maybe news shows could have klaxons going off at random intervals just to keep us fearful. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-more-color-coded-terror-alerts-as-of-april-27th/569119/8 "2011-01-27T12:25:58Z")
Just keep your eye on Speaker Boehner. The higher the terror threat, the deeper shade of orange on his face. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-more-color-coded-terror-alerts-as-of-april-27th/569119/9 "2011-01-27T13:18:07Z")
It’s also about time they decommissioned the Richter Scale, especially since geologists don’t use it. ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-more-color-coded-terror-alerts-as-of-april-27th/569119/10 "2011-01-27T15:10:30Z")
> [@Icarus](#): > > For ease of understanding, instead of colors they will now designate a series of animals, each level being more frightening. As I understand it, the levels will be: > > [ul] > [li]Bunny (not frightening at all)[/li][li]Mosquito (slightly annoying)[/li][li]Rat (icky, kinda scary)[/li][li]Snake (scary)[/li][li]Wolf (Terrifying)[/li][/ul] > > Of course, the current threat level is Wolf. Badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers… ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-more-color-coded-terror-alerts-as-of-april-27th/569119/11 "2011-01-27T15:33:08Z")
I predict we will move to a Panic level system: 1. Minimal panic: Continue to avoid liquids in contains larger than 3 oz. Still OK to turn in anyone to the authorities if you don’t like their looks. 2. Pretty scary out there: Wear tinfoil anti-terror hat at all times 3. They’re coming for us: Duct tap and plastic. Seal your home from outside air. 4. Arab seen in your neighborhood: Start forming mobs. But don’t come out of the basement. 5. Run: Run! Just run, there’s no time to think. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-more-color-coded-terror-alerts-as-of-april-27th/569119/12 "2011-01-27T15:36:51Z")
At least we weren’t using [the Iraqi Terror Alert System.](http://www.theonion.com/articles/iraq-adopts-terror-alert-system,1258/) ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Scud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-more-color-coded-terror-alerts-as-of-april-27th/569119/13 "2011-01-27T15:40:49Z")
> [@Rhythmdvl](#): > > Badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers… Yeah, 1 Mushroom 2 Badger 3 Snake would be simpler. ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-more-color-coded-terror-alerts-as-of-april-27th/569119/14 "2011-01-27T15:59:24Z")
> [@](#): > > One of the most notable changes to come: The public will no longer hear automated recordings at U.S. airports stating that the threat level is orange. Nooooooooooo! I just _love_ hearing those announcements every ten minutes, while I’m stuck in hell at the airport waiting ten hours because every flight was cancelled. I especially love the way there was always a pregnant pause before “orange”, as if the level might have changed in the last ten minutes. Glad to know I can still hear it until April, though. We wouldn’t want to be too hasty about this. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-more-color-coded-terror-alerts-as-of-april-27th/569119/15 "2011-01-27T16:29:28Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > It’s also about time they decommissioned the Richter Scale, especially since geologists don’t use it. They could simplify it to: Shake Rattle Roll ---
**Author:** ![brad\_d](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@brad\_d](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brad_d)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-more-color-coded-terror-alerts-as-of-april-27th/569119/16 "2011-01-27T16:59:00Z")
Since the damn system was implemented, the color has [_never_ been lower than yellow](http://www.presstelegram.com/news/ci_17210194). Good riddance - it was meaningless. ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-more-color-coded-terror-alerts-as-of-april-27th/569119/17 "2011-01-27T17:30:40Z")
> [@Rhythmdvl](#): > > Badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers… …geeez…does no one get the “boy who cried wolf” reference?? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-more-color-coded-terror-alerts-as-of-april-27th/569119/18 "2011-01-27T23:14:30Z")
This has me feeling kind of goldenrod. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-more-color-coded-terror-alerts-as-of-april-27th/569119/19 "2011-01-27T23:21:51Z")
I like Ron White’s version (from the Blue Collar Comedy Tour): Phase one: Get a helmet. Phase two: Put on the damn helmet. ---
**Author:** ![Waffle\_Decider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/77aa72/32.png) [@Waffle\_Decider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waffle_Decider)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2011, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-more-color-coded-terror-alerts-as-of-april-27th/569119/20 "2011-01-28T02:37:49Z")
I prefer this alert system: Lion Terrorist Godzilla [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-more-color-coded-terror-alerts-as-of-april-27th/569119.md?page=2)