# No Mouse = Whole Lotta Suck **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 29, 2006, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-mouse-whole-lotta-suck/342116 "2006-01-29T21:44:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-mouse-whole-lotta-suck/342116/21 "2006-01-31T17:03:43Z")
Sounds like a good reason to wake the baby, then. ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-mouse-whole-lotta-suck/342116/22 "2006-01-31T19:08:13Z")
This whole thing wouldn’t have happened if it hadn’t been Pepsi One that was spilled. Yes, I’m sorry to have to reveal it, but Pepsi One is out to kill us all. Why, just the other night I woke up and a can of Pepsi One was lying across my neck, all cold and rolly. If I wouldn’t have woken up just then, I _know_ it would have strangled me. Don’t ask me how it would have done that since it doesn’t have any appendages. It just would have. Probably Darth Vader style. If it had been any other beverage, the mouse would have been fine. Keep an eye on the baby, **Hal**. You may laugh now, but one day you’ll find a can of Pepsi One in her crib. First your mouse, then your _children!_ ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-mouse-whole-lotta-suck/342116/23 "2006-01-31T19:47:29Z")
I am in love with my Logitech MX1000 laser mouse. Glides well, very smooth action. If it helps. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-mouse-whole-lotta-suck/342116/24 "2006-01-31T21:22:36Z")
Yeah, I know, **AFG** …but, whaddaya gonna do? I can’t get enough of the stuff. > [@E-Sabbath](#): > > I am in love with my Logitech MX1000 laser mouse. Glides well, very smooth action. If it helps. It was very tempting, but in the end, I just couldn’t justify $85 for a mouse. I went for the MX610 instead. And it rocks. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-mouse-whole-lotta-suck/342116/25 "2006-01-31T21:45:14Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > So, even though I’ve been using computers since the days of the parcer and the DOS prompt, it’s been many, many years since I’ve been sans-mouse. Any idea what a bitch it is to try and surf without a mouse these days? And I thought you used a sheep instead. ---
**Author:** ![Lionne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Lionne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lionne)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2006, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-mouse-whole-lotta-suck/342116/26 "2006-02-01T14:58:16Z")
> [@wayward](#): > > I notice, **Hal Briston** and **LunaV** , that you both mention you have laptops. In that case, how is losing the use of a mouse a big problem? Don’t you have one of those little touchpad dooberries built in? I mean, I usually use a mouse with my laptop too because I find it much easier, but I’d still use the pad before resorting to the keyboard. Yes I have one of those, but it’s a hassle for me to use - too slow. Handy in a pinch, though. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2006, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-mouse-whole-lotta-suck/342116/27 "2006-02-02T07:43:56Z")
The solution is the nipple mouse. I use nipple-mouse laptops exclusively. Not great for LAN parties, but they’ll get any other mousing job done efficiently. In fact, when I’m not gaming (which I don’t do at all anymore, BTW) I prefer the nipple mouse to a “real” mouse by a far stretch. That said, I’ve never used an $85 mouse. ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2006, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-mouse-whole-lotta-suck/342116/28 "2006-02-02T07:51:14Z")
> [@fetus](#): > > The solution is the nipple mouse. You call them “nipple mice?” :dubious: How crude. Now, personally, I use the much more refined term “cursor clit.” 😛 Really though, I think that IBM calls them Touchpoint mice. I got no clue what Toshiba calls em’, though. I just know I loves em’. ---
**Author:** ![wayward](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a87d85/32.png) [@wayward](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wayward)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2006, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-mouse-whole-lotta-suck/342116/29 "2006-02-02T10:28:30Z")
> [@Scott Plaid](#): > > You call them “nipple mice?” :dubious: > > How crude. Now, personally, I use the much more refined term “ **cursor clit**.” 😛 > > Really though, I think that IBM calls them Touchpoint mice. I got no clue what Toshiba calls em’, though. I just know I loves em’. Would that be [one of these?](http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0TgD9AiYZdgnQEWPs5PIYHyzXypQFuHGfz4G8B81hDR%217jo40RfK5o2BAfxsURAs5uuJ5NhVWAQmozfS%21mjN%21V9rUROtI16*Le6uV0tyDbIYxd*WlG115Eg/joygroove.jpg?dc=4675557938069564848) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-mouse-whole-lotta-suck/342116.md?page=1)