# No Need to Suffer Through the New Dukes of Hazzard Movie **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 21, 2005, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-need-to-suffer-through-the-new-dukes-of-hazzard-movie/309172 "2005-06-21T06:26:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-need-to-suffer-through-the-new-dukes-of-hazzard-movie/309172/21 "2005-06-21T16:13:03Z")
Also, [this](http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/000989.html) site has a video format that plays on WMP. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-need-to-suffer-through-the-new-dukes-of-hazzard-movie/309172/22 "2005-06-21T16:22:33Z")
> [@](#): > > Ye gods, and I thought the Paris Hilton hamburger commercial was blatant… Have you seen what her sister’s been up to? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-need-to-suffer-through-the-new-dukes-of-hazzard-movie/309172/23 "2005-06-21T16:29:12Z")
> [@Hamlet](#): > > If those pictures are to be believed, the Charger gives women who wash them incredible orgasms. You’ve just created the greatest car advertisement in the history of the world. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-need-to-suffer-through-the-new-dukes-of-hazzard-movie/309172/24 "2005-06-21T16:45:19Z")
> [@Happy Lendervedder](#): > > And her dad’s a Baptist preacher? He is? Then why is he talking about his daughter like [this](http://www.realityblurred.com/realitytv/archives/newlyweds_nick_and_jessica/2004_Dec_15_joe_simpson_gq)? > [@](#): > > “Jessica never tries to be sexy. … She just is sexy. If you put her in a T-shirt or you put her in a bustier, she’s sexy in both. She’s got double D’s! You can’t cover those suckers up! Well, so far you can. When is that going to stop, I ask you? I’ve already seen dueling clips from the Paris and Jessica car-washings on the last night circuit. Carl’s Jr. must be in heaven. This’ll give another six months of free publicity for their burgers. There’s also some really interesting observation to made about body types, since Jessica is 5’3" and curvy and Paris is 5’8" and lean, yet they come across remarkably similarly in these videos, but maybe I’ll wait until they do The Simple Newlyweds together for a better comparison. That video link doesn’t work for me, BTW. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-need-to-suffer-through-the-new-dukes-of-hazzard-movie/309172/25 "2005-06-21T16:47:05Z")
Heh. Reminds me of the time that, as a public service, I posted several vidcaps from movies like “The Borrower” and “Suite 16” because they had pretty good bondage scenes in them, but the scenes were only 2 or 3 seconds long and the movies around them sucked big time. “This vidcap is the only thing worth looking at in the movie, and it only lasts 2 or 3 seconds. Now you owe me the 90 minutes you would have spent watching that piece of garbage for the sake of what is, in essence, a vidcap.” Really, I don’t give myself enough props for saintliness. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-need-to-suffer-through-the-new-dukes-of-hazzard-movie/309172/26 "2005-06-21T17:00:32Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > You’ve just created the greatest car advertisement in the history of the world. Now if the new Charger only looked like the old. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![JSexton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/96bed5/32.png) [@JSexton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JSexton)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-need-to-suffer-through-the-new-dukes-of-hazzard-movie/309172/27 "2005-06-21T17:26:15Z")
Saw her video the other morning. It opens with her driving up to the camera in the General Lee, opening the door and getting out. Read that again, I’ll wait. Clearly, the people responsible for this video never actually watched the show. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-need-to-suffer-through-the-new-dukes-of-hazzard-movie/309172/28 "2005-06-21T17:41:07Z")
I’d have to say that [Cole and Brent](http://www.pvponline.com/archive.php3?archive=20050509) hit this idea perfectly. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-need-to-suffer-through-the-new-dukes-of-hazzard-movie/309172/29 "2005-06-21T17:48:42Z")
Wait…the movie car has doors that open? [Galaxy Quest] Did you guys ever WATCH the show? [/Galaxy Quest] ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-need-to-suffer-through-the-new-dukes-of-hazzard-movie/309172/30 "2005-06-21T17:55:42Z")
> [@Lemur866](#): > > Wait…the movie car has doors that open? > > [Galaxy Quest] > Did you guys ever WATCH the show? > [/Galaxy Quest] Of course, they **didn’t**! They didn’t want their vision of DoH to be cluttered up by some crappy TV show. Come on, it worked great for the guy who directed ST: Nemesis! :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Cuckoorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Cuckoorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cuckoorex)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-need-to-suffer-through-the-new-dukes-of-hazzard-movie/309172/31 "2005-06-21T18:03:08Z")
Maybe I’m in the minority here, but I think that both Simpson sisters (the singers, not the cartoons) are butterfaces. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-need-to-suffer-through-the-new-dukes-of-hazzard-movie/309172/32 "2005-06-21T18:08:12Z")
> [@Cuckoorex](#): > > Maybe I’m in the minority here, but I think that both Simpson sisters (the singers, not the cartoons) are butterfaces. 😕 What’s a “butterface”? ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-need-to-suffer-through-the-new-dukes-of-hazzard-movie/309172/33 "2005-06-21T18:09:02Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > 😕 > > What’s a “butterface”? Everything about her is hot, butterface. ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-need-to-suffer-through-the-new-dukes-of-hazzard-movie/309172/34 "2005-06-21T18:23:27Z")
> [@Big Bad Voodoo Lou](#): > > Everything about her is hot, butterface. I’d hit it. ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-need-to-suffer-through-the-new-dukes-of-hazzard-movie/309172/35 "2005-06-21T19:19:07Z")
> [@Duke of Rat](#): > > I’d hit it. I never said I wouldn’t, my friend. But Jessica’s overexposure from her reality show and her really syrupy, overproduced pop singing makes her a lot less attractive in my eyes. ---
**Author:** ![FlightlessBird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/cdc98d/32.png) [@FlightlessBird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlightlessBird)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-need-to-suffer-through-the-new-dukes-of-hazzard-movie/309172/36 "2005-06-21T20:02:04Z")
> [@](#): > > You’ve just created the greatest car advertisement in the history of the world. If you watch the video it’s also a great advertisement for Bud. She’s a waitress walking through a rowdy bar, carrying a Bud ontop of a tray. She beats up some guys, and dances with backup dancers without knocking the beer over and somehow it’s always facing label out! ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-need-to-suffer-through-the-new-dukes-of-hazzard-movie/309172/37 "2005-06-21T21:35:07Z")
> [@](#): > > “Jessica never tries to be sexy. … She just is sexy. If you put her in a T-shirt or you put her in a bustier, she’s sexy in both. She’s got double D’s! You can’t cover those suckers up! Perhaps I don’t know boobs as well as I think, but aren’t those Cs or maybe a generous D? ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-need-to-suffer-through-the-new-dukes-of-hazzard-movie/309172/38 "2005-06-21T21:37:57Z")
> [@sleeepy2](#): > > Plus, it’s directed by Jay Chandrasekhar who directed Super Troopers Pandering and…? Pandering and…? Pandering and…? ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-need-to-suffer-through-the-new-dukes-of-hazzard-movie/309172/39 "2005-06-21T23:41:09Z")
> [@Bryan Ekers](#): > > Pandering and…? > > Pandering and…? > > Pandering and…? Oh c’mon meow, there’s no reason to be like that meow, can’t we all agree that the General’s the real meow star of the show? ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2005, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-need-to-suffer-through-the-new-dukes-of-hazzard-movie/309172/40 "2005-06-22T00:48:40Z")
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