# No offense to Phlegs... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 2, 2007, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-offense-to-phlegs/410245 "2007-07-02T16:55:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2007, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-offense-to-phlegs/410245/1 "2007-07-02T16:55:26Z")
…but you people just can’t take criticism. It’s as though bringing something to your attention just destroys your whole world. Once the pity party has commenced, there’s just no breaking through. Of course, you have recovered from it in practically no time, but we — we Melancholies — have not. The issue is still on the table. There is an imbalance and an injustice until it can be determined, and you acknowledge, that the criticism is valid and that you appreciate it. Yes, that’s right. You should appreciate it. As Mike Brady once said, “People like being corrected.” We correct you because we love you. It is a gift, an offering of generosity. You should accept it as you would accept a gift made out of gold. We take upon our shoulders the thankless task of putting the world in balance. The very least you could do is cooperate, even if you don’t appreciate it. On the off-chance that some random Phlegmatic will be edified by this, I thank you on behalf of every Melancholy everywhere. If you will identity yourself, I will even reward you with words of affirmation. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2007, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-offense-to-phlegs/410245/2 "2007-07-02T19:25:05Z")
Huh? ---
**Author:** ![Orual](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/779978/32.png) [@Orual](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orual)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2007, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-offense-to-phlegs/410245/3 "2007-07-02T19:32:09Z")
I could have sworn that one of the cardinal rules of good manners was not to offer unsolicited advice. Granted, I’m not going to fall to pieces if someone _does_, but neither am I going to appreciate it much. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2007, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-offense-to-phlegs/410245/4 "2007-07-02T19:46:39Z")
[QUOTE=Orual] I could have sworn that one of the cardinal rules of good manners was not to offer unsolicited advice. [/QUOTE] Sure, and I agree. But consider this scenario. Suppose you see someone take down a coffee cup, pause, think better of it, and put the cup back. But when they put it back, they leave it such that the angle of the handle is discernably different from the angles of all the other handles which, of course, are at thirty degrees to the right from dead center. It isn’t just an aesthetics issue either, as that angle affords the most efficient access to each individual cup. Wouldn’t you feel compelled to say something? It isn’t just the balance of the cups. It’s also immensely edifying for the person when they’re told how to do something the right way. They then can belong. They can be a contributor — a facilitator — rather than an obstructionist. That way, it’s happy-happy all around! Incidentally, you’ve been around a long time. We don’t frequently encounter one another. It’s good to hear from you. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2007, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-offense-to-phlegs/410245/5 "2007-07-02T19:53:45Z")
Ok, well I found a free online test and the highest scores I got were 30% Phlegmatic and 30% Sanguine. And in the scenario you outlined if I were the one who had placed the coffee cup incorrectly and you gave your constructive criticism, I would most likely silently turn all of the cups to different angles and leave. I don’t know if that fits the profile for Phlegmatic or Sanguine or what. But I do know that if I want advice I’ll ask. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2007, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-offense-to-phlegs/410245/6 "2007-07-02T20:05:06Z")
[QUOTE=Inner Stickler] Ok, well I found a free online test and the highest scores I got were 30% Phlegmatic and 30% Sanguine. And in the scenario you outlined if I were the one who had placed the coffee cup incorrectly and you gave your constructive criticism, I would most likely silently turn all of the cups to different angles and leave. I don’t know if that fits the profile for Phlegmatic or Sanguine or what. But I do know that if I want advice I’ll ask. [/QUOTE] Link, by any chance? In the scenario outlined in the OP, I would have asked you who died and made you Grand Poohbah of Coffee-Cup Placement. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2007, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-offense-to-phlegs/410245/7 "2007-07-02T20:10:09Z")
I agree. Who cares how coffee cups are arranged? ---
**Author:** ![ShelliBean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@ShelliBean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShelliBean)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2007, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-offense-to-phlegs/410245/8 "2007-07-02T20:17:04Z")
[QUOTE=Liberal] It’s also immensely edifying for the person when they’re told how to do something the right way. [/QUOTE] No, you’re telling them how to do it \*your \* way, not the \*right \* way. There is no right or wrong, it’s a preference. If you were offering advice on something that has a right or wrong way (for example, a comment to someone looking confused at the gas pump as to how to get the pump back into its station) the person might be appreciative but I would hazard a guess that for simple preferences the person getting the advice would not appreciate it nearly as much as you seem to enjoy giving it. ---
**Author:** ![Orual](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/779978/32.png) [@Orual](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orual)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2007, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-offense-to-phlegs/410245/9 "2007-07-02T20:19:46Z")
[QUOTE=Liberal] But consider this scenario. Suppose you see someone take down a coffee cup, pause, think better of it, and put the cup back. But when they put it back, they leave it such that the angle of the handle is discernably different from the angles of all the other handles which, of course, are at thirty degrees to the right from dead center. It isn’t just an aesthetics issue either, as that angle affords the most efficient access to each individual cup. Wouldn’t you feel compelled to say something? It isn’t just the balance of the cups. It’s also immensely edifying for the person when they’re told how to do something the right way. They then can belong. They can be a contributor — a facilitator — rather than an obstructionist. That way, it’s happy-happy all around! [/QUOTE] Hmm. I suppose it would depend. If it was someone I live with, I guess I would mention it (if I noticed). Or rather, I’d mention it after fixing it myself a few times. In someone else’s home or a public place I wouldn’t say anything. I think it has to do with how close I am to the person, and consequently how much consideration I can expect from him. [QUOTE=Liberal] Incidentally, you’ve been around a long time. We don’t frequently encounter one another. It’s good to hear from you. 🙂 [/QUOTE] Thanks! I actually took about a year off, though I’d be truly stunned if anyone noticed … 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2007, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-offense-to-phlegs/410245/10 "2007-07-02T20:23:17Z")
> [@Captain Carrot](#): > > Who cares how coffee cups are arranged? Even if we stipulate that the cups in and of themselves are unimportant, there remains the issue of the mindset that gives no heed to balance and proper order. It may be only cups this time — and granted, the Meloncholy can correct the wrong after the Phleg has left the room. But what are we to do? Follow behind every one of these disorganized creatures, correcting everything they put askew? I mean, that’s what we attempt to do now. And no one ever thanks us. The task is simply too huge. Think on a larger scale. After the coffee cups… **Bedspreads with uneven sides Drapes opened with a larger space in one than the other Clocks with time-settings different by as much as a minute Cars pulled into the garage different distances from the doors […shudder…] Pictures hanging tilted from vertical** Must I go on? Are these consequences with which you are prepared to live? ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2007, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-offense-to-phlegs/410245/11 "2007-07-02T20:36:07Z")
[Sorry about that **Telperien**.](http://www.oneishy.com/personality/personality_test.php) But I don’t know how well that sites meshes with what **Lib** is saying. The site kinda takes an equal but opposite view and **Lib** seems to regard Phlegmatics as inferior. I feel like I am missing a piece of the puzzle. ETA: Unless he is being tongue in cheek. Which based on his last post seems rather probable. ---
**Author:** ![Orual](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/779978/32.png) [@Orual](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orual)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2007, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-offense-to-phlegs/410245/12 "2007-07-02T20:37:36Z")
But how much of this has to do with temperment, and how much just with … neatness? Is a great craving for orderliness a cornerstone of Melancholy-ness? I just took some absurdly long temperment quiz. Came up a Melancholic/Phlegmatic (55%/45%). Apparently I’m doomed to forever straighten-up my own misaligned coffee cups. ---
**Author:** ![Swampwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Swampwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swampwolf)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2007, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-offense-to-phlegs/410245/13 "2007-07-02T20:39:23Z")
[QUOTE=Liberal] But what are we to do? Follow behind every one of these disorganized creatures, correcting everything they put askew? I mean, that’s what we attempt to do now. And no one ever thanks us. [/QUOTE] That’s 'cos the people expected to be appreciative…aren’t. We/they (to a degree I follow both lifestyle choices) who put things askew do so not to twist your nuts, but because **we/they don’t really give a shit.** If I have or leave something the way I like it, or it’s something I don’t really care about, and someone comes along and “fixes” it, I’m not going to thank them for doing it the way they want it done. I’m more likely to think they’re an anal-retentive control freak than anything else. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2007, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-offense-to-phlegs/410245/14 "2007-07-02T20:48:27Z")
[QUOTE=Liberal] **Bedspreads with uneven sides Drapes opened with a larger space in one than the other Clocks with time-settings different by as much as a minute Cars pulled into the garage different distances from the doors […shudder…] Pictures hanging tilted from vertical** Must I go on? Are these consequences with which you are prepared to live? [/QUOTE] Personally, I truly don’t give a shit about any of that sort of thing. Is your life so carefree that these present major obstacles to you? If so, I envy you, sir. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2007, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-offense-to-phlegs/410245/15 "2007-07-02T20:49:39Z")
[QUOTE=Orual] But how much of this has to do with temperment, and how much just with … neatness? Is a great craving for orderliness a cornerstone of Melancholy-ness? I just took some absurdly long temperment quiz. Came up a Melancholic/Phlegmatic (55%/45%). Apparently I’m doomed to forever straighten-up my own misaligned coffee cups. [/QUOTE] Welcome to the dark side. 🙂 Just between you and me, ours is by far the superior temperament. We are the ones who bring order to chaos, who understand everything on a level far deeper than the riff-raff, who shoulder the responsibility for keeping the world on schedule. We do not do this for the accolades, though accolades are deserved. We do this because it would not be right to do otherwise. You **know** that when you’ve touched that fourth finger twice in a row to your palm that the balance of all finger-touches must then be restored. Otherwise, God only knows what could happen. ---
**Author:** ![Litoris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9f8e36/32.png) [@Litoris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Litoris)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2007, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-offense-to-phlegs/410245/16 "2007-07-02T20:50:38Z")
Meh…I got Choleric(40%)/Melancholic(36%). I donno what that means, and don’t really care… ---
**Author:** ![Lightray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightray/32/391_2.png) [@Lightray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightray)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2007, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-offense-to-phlegs/410245/17 "2007-07-02T20:50:50Z")
[QUOTE=Liberal] On the off-chance that some random Phlegmatic will be edified by this, I thank you on behalf of every Melancholy everywhere. If you will identity yourself, I will even reward you with words of affirmation. [/QUOTE] Sounds like somebody skipped his bloodletting and is all full up of black bile. tsk. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2007, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-offense-to-phlegs/410245/18 "2007-07-02T20:52:43Z")
[QUOTE=Inner Stickler] The site kinda takes an equal but opposite view and **Lib** seems to regard Phlegmatics as inferior. [/QUOTE] I wouldn’t say that they’re _inferior_. Not per se. They’re just… problematic. They have no sense of the world around them. They just float along on the lilly pads of life, hopping randomly from one to the other with a reckless disregard for order and pattern. Yes, they are laid back and hip. But at what cost to those of us who must tend to what they leave in their wake? ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2007, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-offense-to-phlegs/410245/19 "2007-07-02T20:56:12Z")
Hey at least my humors (blood and phlegm) actually exist!😛 ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2007, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-offense-to-phlegs/410245/20 "2007-07-02T20:58:04Z")
[QUOTE=Captain Carrot] Personally, I truly don’t give a shit about any of that sort of thing. Is your life so carefree that these present major obstacles to you? If so, I envy you, sir. [/QUOTE] Carefree? Hardly. Do you think we do not flinch when you dismiss us as obsessive-compulsive? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-offense-to-phlegs/410245.md?page=2)