# No ominous Lovecraftian title can resist a Guinea Pig
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-ominous-lovecraftian-title-can-resist-a-guinea-pig/546431
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [July 12, 2010, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-ominous-lovecraftian-title-can-resist-a-guinea-pig/546431 "2010-07-12T19:02:36Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2010, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-ominous-lovecraftian-title-can-resist-a-guinea-pig/546431/1 "2010-07-12T19:02:36Z")
Inspired by the name of one of our guinea pigs (Azatoth the crawling horror, soul devorer, affectionally known as “toto”) , my wife and I have a new hobby, renaming ominous Lovecraftian (and other authors) titles by inserting Guinea Pigs, here are some examples:
Call of the Guinea Pig.
The Guinea Pig over Insmouth.
The Lurking Guinea Pig.
The Guinea Pig out of Space.
Is this as funny as I think or is it one of those, “you had to be there” things?
ETA: a picture of the unnamed horror in question: [http://lh4.ggpht.com/\_MHwNe9seMRs/S41yfJa-NKI/AAAAAAAAA3A/4OGUY4gTibE/DSC00329.JPG](http://lh4.ggpht.com/_MHwNe9seMRs/S41yfJa-NKI/AAAAAAAAA3A/4OGUY4gTibE/DSC00329.JPG)
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### Author:  [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2010, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-ominous-lovecraftian-title-can-resist-a-guinea-pig/546431/2 "2010-07-12T19:11:00Z")
Poe:
The Guinea Pig
The Tell-tale Guinea Pig
The Guinea Pig of Amontillado
The Purloined Guinea Pig
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### Author:  [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2010, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-ominous-lovecraftian-title-can-resist-a-guinea-pig/546431/3 "2010-07-12T19:23:41Z")
Forgive my change of species.
Hemingway:
_The Old Man and the Hamster
The Hamsters of Kilimanjaro
A Farewell to Hamsters
Hills Like White Hamsters
Green Hamsters of Africa_
---
### Author:  [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2010, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-ominous-lovecraftian-title-can-resist-a-guinea-pig/546431/4 "2010-07-12T19:25:42Z")
The Lord of the Guinea Pigs
To kill a Guinea Pig.
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### Author:  [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2010, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-ominous-lovecraftian-title-can-resist-a-guinea-pig/546431/5 "2010-07-12T19:28:19Z")
> [@The\_Hamster\_King](#):
>
> A Farewell to Hamsters
heheheheh 😃
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### Author:  [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2010, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-ominous-lovecraftian-title-can-resist-a-guinea-pig/546431/6 "2010-07-12T19:29:33Z")
Jane Austen:
Guinea Pigs and Guinea Pigs
no, wait…
Guinea Pigs and Guinea Pigs
Hm. At least there’s:
Guinea Pig Park
Guinea Pig Abbey
---
### Author:  [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2010, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-ominous-lovecraftian-title-can-resist-a-guinea-pig/546431/7 "2010-07-12T19:29:43Z")
The Guinea Pig of the Baskervilles
The Silence of the Hamsters
Murder on the Guinea Pig Express
I, Hamster
The Gerbil in the Rye
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### Author:  [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2010, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-ominous-lovecraftian-title-can-resist-a-guinea-pig/546431/8 "2010-07-12T19:32:30Z")
I learned long ago that all Metallica songs can be easily rewritten to reference guinea pigs, such as Enter Sandman:
Enter Sandpig (not copyrighted, mods)
Feed your pig, little one
Dont forget, my son
To give food to each one
I throw food in, purr within
Keep them free from squeaks
'Til the Sandpig he comes
Sleep with both eyes open
Gripping their litter tight
Exit squeaks, enter food
Pet their fur
We’re off to make the cavy purr
Something’s on, the fridge light
Heavy pigs tonight
And they are brown and white
Dreams of cukes, dreams of lettuce
Dreams of tomatoes
And of things they can bite
Sleep with both eyes open
Gripping their litter tight
Exit squeaks, enter food
Pet their fur
We’re off to make the cavy purr
Now I lay me down to sleep
Gave the pigs some food to eat
If they squeak before I wake
Give the pigs some hay to take
Hush, little baby, don’t say a word
And never mind that noise you heard
It’s just the pigs next to your bed
Squeaking loud until they’re fed
Exit squeaks, enter food
Popcorn land
Exit squeaks, enter food
Pet their fur
We’re off to make the cavy purr
---
### Author:  [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2010, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-ominous-lovecraftian-title-can-resist-a-guinea-pig/546431/9 "2010-07-12T19:33:59Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#):
>
> Murder on the Guinea Pig Express
OR:
Guinea Pig on the Orient Express
> [@Hypno-Toad](#):
>
> I, Hamster
Guinea Pig and Empire
Second Guinea Pig
---
### Author:  [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2010, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-ominous-lovecraftian-title-can-resist-a-guinea-pig/546431/10 "2010-07-12T19:36:59Z")
> [@Frodo](#):
>
> Guinea Pig and Empire
> Second Guinea Pig
I was thinking “Claudius” rather than “Robot” But your idea works too. Especially with novels such as:
Gerbils of Steel, and
The Hamsters of Dawn
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### Author:  [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2010, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-ominous-lovecraftian-title-can-resist-a-guinea-pig/546431/11 "2010-07-12T19:37:19Z")
Second Stage Guinea Pig
The Guinea Pig of Space
Guinea Pig DuQuesne
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### Author:  [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2010, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-ominous-lovecraftian-title-can-resist-a-guinea-pig/546431/12 "2010-07-12T19:43:37Z")
I Want to Hold Your Guinea Pig
Do You Want to Know a Guinea Pig?
I’m Happy Just to Dance with a Guinea Pig
She’s a Guinea Pig
You’ve Got to Hide Your Guinea Pig Away
Norwegian Wood Chips (This Guinea Pig Has Flown)
Yellow Guinea Pig
And Your Guinea Pig Can Sing
Guinea Pig Fields Forever
With a Little Help from My Guinea Pigs
The Guinea Pig on the Hill
I Am the Guinea Pig
Guinea Pigs in the USSR
Maxwell’s Silver Guinea Pig
Guinea Pig’s Garden
…and the famous medley:
You Never Give Me Your Guinea Pigs
Guinea Pig King
Mean Mr. Guinea Pig
Guinea Pig Pam
Guinea Pigs Came in Through the Bathroom Window
Golden Guinea Pigs
Carry that Guinea Pig
Guinea Pig’s End
“Her guinea pig’s a pretty good pig, but she doesn’t have a lot to say…”
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### Author:  [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2010, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-ominous-lovecraftian-title-can-resist-a-guinea-pig/546431/13 "2010-07-12T19:47:39Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#):
>
> I was thinking “Claudius” rather than “Robot” But your idea works too. Especially with novels such as:
>
> Gerbils of Steel, and
>
> The Hamsters of Dawn
:D, Graves it is then:
The Guinea Pig Myths
King Guinea Pig
Guinea Pig Belisarius
---
### Author:  [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2010, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-ominous-lovecraftian-title-can-resist-a-guinea-pig/546431/14 "2010-07-12T19:49:48Z")
The Guinea Pigs in the Walls.
The Dunwich Hamster.
The Statement of Randolph Gerbil.
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### Author:  [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2010, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-ominous-lovecraftian-title-can-resist-a-guinea-pig/546431/15 "2010-07-12T19:51:07Z")
> [@Frodo](#):
>
> :D, Graves it is then:
>
> The Guinea Pig Myths
> King Guinea Pig
> Guinea Pig Belisarius
Are they written in Guinea Pig Latin?
The Guinea Pig of Dorian Gray
Fall of the House of Hamster
Tess of the Gerbil-villes
---
### Author:  [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2010, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-ominous-lovecraftian-title-can-resist-a-guinea-pig/546431/16 "2010-07-12T19:53:08Z")
The guinea Pig of Charles Dexter Ward
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### Author:  [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2010, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-ominous-lovecraftian-title-can-resist-a-guinea-pig/546431/17 "2010-07-12T20:06:14Z")
The Guinea Pig on the Doorstep
Cool Guinea Pigs
The Yellow Guinea Pig
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### Author:  [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2010, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-ominous-lovecraftian-title-can-resist-a-guinea-pig/546431/18 "2010-07-12T20:14:32Z")
\*\*Hamster West: Re-Animator
The Guinea Pig in Darkness
Dagerbil
The Terrible Old Guinea Pig
At the Hamsters of Madness
The Shuttered Gerbil
The Hamster of Red Hook\*\*
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### Author:  [@cjepson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cjepson)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2010, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-ominous-lovecraftian-title-can-resist-a-guinea-pig/546431/19 "2010-07-12T20:49:54Z")
> [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](#):
>
> I learned long ago that all Metallica songs can be easily rewritten to reference guinea pigs, such as Enter Sandman:
>
> Enter Sandpig (not copyrighted, mods)
>
> Feed your pig, little one
> Dont forget, my son
> To give food to each one
> I throw food in, purr within
> Keep them free from squeaks
> 'Til the Sandpig he comes…
If I had a hamster, I’d feed it in the morning,
I’d feed it in the evening, all over this land…
---
### Author:  [@Gordon\_Urquhart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gordon_Urquhart)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2010, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-ominous-lovecraftian-title-can-resist-a-guinea-pig/546431/20 "2010-07-12T21:15:05Z")
_The Phantom Guinea Pig
Guinea Pig Din
Guinea Pigs Courageous
Rikki-Tikki-Cavy_
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