# "No play for Mr. Gray"!? WTF!! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 1, 2004, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-play-for-mr-gray-wtf/272223 "2004-11-01T01:47:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2004, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-play-for-mr-gray-wtf/272223/41 "2004-11-02T06:43:29Z")
> [@Harimad-sol](#): > > I am trying to think of you as a worthless old fart as dictated by the advertisers, Sunspace, and it just isn’t happening. I’ll just think of you as rather sexy until further notice. Thank you! :: blush :: > [@Ludovic](#): > > After all, whenever I see an ad for hair curling, the morose-looking women with beautiful long straight hair are much more attractive than the happy New Jersey Hair “after” scene. Yup. The ‘before’ pix are almost always less fake. [sub]Although, what with Photoshop and all, pictures just aren’t all that _reliable_ anymore.[/sub] I know a lady here in T.O., she’s in her mid fifties, and she has long straight silver hair. She is a babe. (She’s also a Wiccan priestess, which is extremely cool and doesn’t hurt either…) > [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > And what’s the point of scented deodorants to begin with? Scented deodorants give me a rash. I use ivory soap and water. Period. No-one’s complained. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2004, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-play-for-mr-gray-wtf/272223/42 "2004-11-02T17:05:11Z")
> [@pokey](#): > > I use that product to dye my eyelashes. :eek: Seriously?? ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2004, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-play-for-mr-gray-wtf/272223/43 "2004-11-02T17:55:18Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > Many thanks. Don’t thank me-- I gave you a bum steer. A little further digging turns up that I wasn’t thinking of that story after all, but the 1964 novel _The Simulacra_: > [@](#): > > Something sizzled to the right of him. A commercial, made by Theodorus Nitz, the worst house of all, had attached itself to his car. > > ``` > "Get off," he warned it. But the commercial, well-adhered, began to crawl, buffeted by the wind, toward the door and the entrance crack. It would soon have squeezed in and would be haranguing him in the cranky, garbagey fashion of the Nitz advertisements. > > He could, as it came through the crack, kill it. It was alive, terribly mortal; the ad agencies, like nature, squandered hordes of them. > > The commercial, fly-sized, began to buzz out its message as soon as it managed to force entry. "Say! Haven't you sometimes said to yourself, I'll bet other people in restaurants can see me! And you're puzzled as to what to do about this serious, baffling problem of being conspicuous, especially---" > > Chic crushed it with his foot. > > ``` A pitch for another product: > [@](#): > > The Theodorus Nitz commercial squeaked, “In the presence of strangers do you feel _you don’t quite exist?_ Do they seem not to notice you, as if you were invisible? On a bus or spaceship do you sometimes look around you and discover that no one, _absolutely no one_, recognizes you or cares about you and quite possibly may even—” > > With his carbon dioxide-powered pellet rifle, Maury Frauenzimmer carefully shot the Nitz commercial as it hung pressed against the far wall of his cluttered office. It had squeezed in during the night, had greeted him in the morning with its tinny harangue. > > Broken, the commercial dropped to the floor. Maury crushed it with his solid, compacted weight and then returned the pellet rifle to its rack. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2004, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-play-for-mr-gray-wtf/272223/44 "2004-11-02T18:18:47Z")
> [@Snooooopy](#): > > Everybody dies, man. Everybody dies. > > 🙂 But not everyone truly lives. Incidentally, I’ve seen the commercial. Whoever said it looked like he colored his beard with a black magic marker couldn’t have been more on target. It’s commercials like this that make guys think that all women are shallow. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2004, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-play-for-mr-gray-wtf/272223/45 "2004-11-02T18:29:58Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > But not everyone truly lives. That is _so_ true. Some of us are trying to wake up from the trance and find true life, with all its terror and beauty… ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2004, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-play-for-mr-gray-wtf/272223/46 "2004-11-02T18:38:45Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > That is _so_ true. Some of us are trying to wake up from the trance and find true life, with all its terror and beauty… True Life? What board can I find that at? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2004, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-play-for-mr-gray-wtf/272223/47 "2004-11-02T18:46:51Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > Don’t thank me-- I gave you a bum steer. Well, thanks for the correction. From those excerpts, it looks like fun. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2004, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-play-for-mr-gray-wtf/272223/48 "2004-11-02T18:55:53Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > True Life? What board can I find that at? Dunno, but the SDMB is definitely a step in the right direction… ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2004, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-play-for-mr-gray-wtf/272223/49 "2004-11-02T19:17:22Z")
> [@Snooooopy](#): > > Everybody dies, man. Everybody dies. > > 🙂 uh oh, that’s kind of scary. I was just listening to music and what came on just as I read this…“Why should I be frightened of dying, you gotta go sometime…” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-play-for-mr-gray-wtf/272223.md?page=2)