# No "Pound Me In The Ass Prison" for Scooter
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-pound-me-in-the-ass-prison-for-scooter/410281
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [July 2, 2007, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-pound-me-in-the-ass-prison-for-scooter/410281 "2007-07-02T22:13:42Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 3
### Author:  [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)
#### Post date: [July 3, 2007, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-pound-me-in-the-ass-prison-for-scooter/410281/41 "2007-07-03T01:18:22Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan]
“Pound Me In The Ass Prison”
[/QUOTE]
:rolleyes:
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### Author:  [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)
#### Post date: [July 3, 2007, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-pound-me-in-the-ass-prison-for-scooter/410281/42 "2007-07-03T01:18:37Z")
[QUOTE=Plynck]
So may we assume from this that his approval rating will never dip below 18 percent?
[/QUOTE]
He could always be found in bed with a dead woman or a live boy.
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### Author:  [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)
#### Post date: [July 3, 2007, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-pound-me-in-the-ass-prison-for-scooter/410281/43 "2007-07-03T01:20:50Z")
[QUOTE=Blalron]
He really should have just pardoned or not pardoned him. At least he would have made one group of people happy. This sentence commutation doesn’t please anybody.
[/QUOTE]
Give it time. I’m sure his supporters will be entirely mollified after the medal ceremony.
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### Author:  [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)
#### Post date: [July 3, 2007, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-pound-me-in-the-ass-prison-for-scooter/410281/44 "2007-07-03T01:21:48Z")
[QUOTE=Monty]
:rolleyes:
[/QUOTE]
I take it we’re **not** a fan of _Office Space_.
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### Author:  [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)
#### Post date: [July 3, 2007, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-pound-me-in-the-ass-prison-for-scooter/410281/45 "2007-07-03T01:31:13Z")
[QUOTE=Larry Borgia]
Saddened but not surprised. ☹ I predict there will be a full pardon after the '08 elections. Libby probably knows where a lot of bodies are buried. (Figuratively. I hope.)
[/QUOTE]
I have a feeling that _alot_ of people will be pardoned after the '08 elections. I wouldn’t put pardoning himself past Bush.
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### Author:  [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)
#### Post date: [July 3, 2007, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-pound-me-in-the-ass-prison-for-scooter/410281/46 "2007-07-03T01:40:35Z")
[QUOTE=Merijeek]
I guess in 2009 all them GOP government employees had better watch their mouths - never know what information may be “accidentally leaked”.
[/QUOTE]
Yes, it’d be a shame to see a list of the names of every last right-leaning covert op for the CIA published on the internet.
Perfectly fair, now that we know the new rules of the game; still a shame.
Then again, what with the politicization of Intelligence by the Bushies, such an ‘accident’ might be Good for national security.
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### Author:  [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)
#### Post date: [July 3, 2007, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-pound-me-in-the-ass-prison-for-scooter/410281/47 "2007-07-03T02:37:56Z")
[QUOTE=alphaboi867]
I have a feeling that _alot_ of people will be pardoned after the '08 elections. I wouldn’t put pardoning himself past Bush.
[/QUOTE]
Which raises an interesting question: _Could_ a president pardon himself? Assuming he was actually convicted of a crime while still a sitting president, which I grant is as unlikely as the chance that a meteor will strike me in the next five seconds, could he pardon himself before he got escorted from the Oval Office in handcuffs?
Excuse me now while I go enjoy daydreaming about Shrub in steel bracelets being dragged from the Oval Office…
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### Author:  [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)
#### Post date: [July 3, 2007, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-pound-me-in-the-ass-prison-for-scooter/410281/48 "2007-07-03T02:54:04Z")
[QUOTE=Mama Tiger]
Which raises an interesting question: _Could_ a president pardon himself? Assuming he was actually convicted of a crime while still a sitting president, which I grant is as unlikely as the chance that a meteor will strike me in the next five seconds, could he pardon himself before he got escorted from the Oval Office in handcuffs?
Excuse me now while I go enjoy daydreaming about Shrub in steel bracelets being dragged from the Oval Office…
[/QUOTE]
IANAL, but I’m reasonably sure not. Impeachment is not a criminal conviction.
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### Author:  [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)
#### Post date: [July 3, 2007, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-pound-me-in-the-ass-prison-for-scooter/410281/49 "2007-07-03T02:56:23Z")
[QUOTE=Leaper]
Oh, come now, John, certainly you can’t be surprised? The phrase “if the person has violated law” SCREAMS “wiggle room” and “weasel words,” after all!
[/QUOTE]
No, no, what screams WEASEL is “…will be taken care of.” People thought this was some kind of Mafia-like threat when in fact it was more of a Social Security-like promise.
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### Author:  [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)
#### Post date: [July 3, 2007, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-pound-me-in-the-ass-prison-for-scooter/410281/50 "2007-07-03T03:07:09Z")
Dick Chaney has promised to take care of Libby during the next hunt.
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### Author:  [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)
#### Post date: [July 3, 2007, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-pound-me-in-the-ass-prison-for-scooter/410281/51 "2007-07-03T03:13:43Z")
I would have hoped that **Tuckerfan** , being from Texas’ Ugly Sister, Tennessee, might have been more discreet in his wording. I know hillbillies don’t have quite the same sense of decorum and family values as peckerwoods, but still, one must think of the children, mustn’t one? The situation calls for a light touch for euphemism. No “Turkish Enema” for Scooter! say, or No “Tubesteak Prostate Massage” for Scooter, No “Greek Invasion” for Scooter…
You know, some sense of propriety!
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### Author:  [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)
#### Post date: [July 3, 2007, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-pound-me-in-the-ass-prison-for-scooter/410281/52 "2007-07-03T03:30:06Z")
[QUOTE=elucidator]
I would have hoped that **Tuckerfan** , being from Texas’ Ugly Sister, Tennessee, might have been more discreet in his wording. I know hillbillies don’t have quite the same sense of decorum and family values as peckerwoods, but still, one must think of the children, mustn’t one? The situation calls for a light touch for euphemism. No “Turkish Enema” for Scooter! say, or No “Tubesteak Prostate Massage” for Scooter, No “Greek Invasion” for Scooter…
You know, some sense of propriety!
[/QUOTE]
Well, I almost went with “No Meatstick Colonscopy for Scooter” but I wasn’t sure if people would get it.
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### Author:  [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)
#### Post date: [July 3, 2007, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-pound-me-in-the-ass-prison-for-scooter/410281/53 "2007-07-03T03:36:06Z")
[QUOTE=Mama Tiger]
Excuse me now while I go enjoy daydreaming about Shrub in steel bracelets being dragged from the Oval Office…
[/QUOTE]
I’m still holding out for a mob of villagers with torches and pitchforks.
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### Author:  [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)
#### Post date: [July 3, 2007, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-pound-me-in-the-ass-prison-for-scooter/410281/54 "2007-07-03T03:37:02Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim]
IANAL, but I’m reasonably sure not. Impeachment is not a criminal conviction.
[/QUOTE]
He can’t preven himself from being impeached and removed from office, but he can prevent himself from ever being tried in federal court for any crime after he leaves office. A pardon can be issued before a trial. Does a pardon even need to specify what crime someone’s being pardoned for or could POTUS issue one pardoning someone for _any and all crimes against the United States commited prior to the pardon being issued_.
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### Author:  [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)
#### Post date: [July 3, 2007, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-pound-me-in-the-ass-prison-for-scooter/410281/55 "2007-07-03T03:37:55Z")
As it happens, I _am_ a fan of Office Space, but I didn’t pick up on your reference.
Can I still roll my eyes at your use of “Shrub”?
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### Author:  [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)
#### Post date: [July 3, 2007, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-pound-me-in-the-ass-prison-for-scooter/410281/56 "2007-07-03T03:39:47Z")
[QUOTE=alphaboi867]
… Does a pardon even need to specify what crime someone’s being pardoned for or could POTUS issue one pardoning someone for _any and all crimes against the United States commited prior to the pardon being issued_.
[/QUOTE]
That HAS been done. I think for Nixon.
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### Author:  [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)
#### Post date: [July 3, 2007, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-pound-me-in-the-ass-prison-for-scooter/410281/57 "2007-07-03T03:46:25Z")
[QUOTE=scout1222]
As it happens, I _am_ a fan of Office Space, but I didn’t pick up on your reference.
Can I still roll my eyes at your use of “Shrub”?
[/QUOTE]
Would you prefer I used “Twig” or “Chimp-in-Chief”?
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### Author:  [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)
#### Post date: [July 3, 2007, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-pound-me-in-the-ass-prison-for-scooter/410281/58 "2007-07-03T03:47:26Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan]
Well, I almost went with “No Meatstick Colonscopy for Scooter” but I wasn’t sure if people would get it.
[/QUOTE]
I feel insulted. I don’t think there’s a poster on these boards who wouldn’t get it.
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### Author:  [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)
#### Post date: [July 3, 2007, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-pound-me-in-the-ass-prison-for-scooter/410281/59 "2007-07-03T04:00:24Z")
Actually, since I’m not a fan of the President AT ALL, just saying Bush is quite enough to get my blood boiling.
[sub]I wouldn’t want you to think I was actually a fan of the administration![/sub]
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### Author:  [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)
#### Post date: [July 3, 2007, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-pound-me-in-the-ass-prison-for-scooter/410281/60 "2007-07-03T04:06:28Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim]
I feel insulted. I don’t think there’s a poster on these boards who wouldn’t get it.
[/QUOTE]
You don’t frequent political threads all that much, do you?
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