# No sex please, I’m a vegan **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 13, 2007, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-sex-please-i-m-a-vegan/415428 "2007-08-13T13:29:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2007, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-sex-please-i-m-a-vegan/415428/21 "2007-08-13T17:27:51Z")
The biochemist/cell biologist in me is screaming in pure outrage right now. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2007, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-sex-please-i-m-a-vegan/415428/22 "2007-08-13T17:47:03Z")
[QUOTE=Vinyl Turnip] Finally I just let her sleep, warmed a chuck roast in my microwave, and had my way with it. Unfortunately my date awoke and walked in mid-act. We didn’t really see each other after that. [/QUOTE] You know, pastrami is the most sensual of all the salted cured meats. So, a turkey baster is right out? ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2007, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-sex-please-i-m-a-vegan/415428/23 "2007-08-13T18:16:27Z")
[QUOTE=tdn] What’s the only kind of meat that nuns are allowed to eat on Fridays? [/QUOTE] Risotto? ---
**Author:** ![SiXSwordS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@SiXSwordS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiXSwordS)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2007, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-sex-please-i-m-a-vegan/415428/24 "2007-08-13T18:26:39Z")
[QUOTE=danceswithcats] Q: If vegans consume no product of animal origin, does it follow that vegan females, or gay vegan males don’t allow baby batter to enter their mouths? [/QUOTE] I think not. Here’s my reasoning. In his article on [placentaphagia](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_104.html), Cecil relates that: > [@](#): > > The rationale for placenta eating, apart from the fact that it doesn’t entail snuffing animals, is that since it nurtures the child during pregnancy it must contain all sorts of valuable nutrients. Which relates back to part of the original question. > [@](#): > > [A] certain stripe of high-minded vegetarian eagerly prepares and devours placenta stew, the placenta being the only form of meat that does not involve the slaughter of some innocent animal. So, if placenta is OK, semen must fantabuloso! Not only does the supply not entail the penning, branding and eventual slaughter of the animal, they actually enjoy providing a nutritious snack. BTW, some straight, vegan men might enjoy, er, _baby batter_ as well, but that’s a topic for a different thread. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2007, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-sex-please-i-m-a-vegan/415428/25 "2007-08-13T18:36:12Z")
Have those vegans ever stopped to consider that the bodies of the moo-cows and birdies and little piggies and other dead animals that people eat are made up of plants? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2007, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-sex-please-i-m-a-vegan/415428/26 "2007-08-13T18:45:55Z")
[QUOTE=gigi] You know, pastrami is the most sensual of all the salted cured meats. [/QUOTE] Well played! As a man, I do have to say I enjoy baby batter. Nothing like it for making little baby pancakes. Except around here we call them silver dollar pancakes. If you didn’t like that, there’s an untapped Babe Ruth joke floating around in here. ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2007, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-sex-please-i-m-a-vegan/415428/27 "2007-08-13T18:59:29Z")
[QUOTE=gS49] From Michael Quinion’s “World Wide Words” ( [World Wide Words: English Language Evolution & Word Origins](http://www.worldwidewords.org/index.htm)): > [@](#): > > I suppose that makes the meat-eaters among us carnisexuals. let the wisecracks begin. [/QUOTE] I couldn’t be prouder than to be labeled “Carnisexual”. Now to go to an amusement park and pick up a tattooed ditch-hippie chick to make the scene complete, and then finish it all of with fried pig ear on-a-stick. Wha? ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2007, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-sex-please-i-m-a-vegan/415428/28 "2007-08-13T19:26:04Z")
I think it’s just another part of the whole pleasure-denying trip some vegans are on. I support people being vegans because they don’t want animals killed, but deep down, I think that for a few, it’s some form of self-hatred or something. Same thing with people who jog till they’re stringy or are workaholics. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2007, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-sex-please-i-m-a-vegan/415428/29 "2007-08-13T20:38:36Z")
Liberal talk-radio gal Randi Rhodes doesn’t call gay women lesbians anymore. Most of them have never been to Lesbos. They’re **Vagitarians**. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2007, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-sex-please-i-m-a-vegan/415428/30 "2007-08-13T20:52:05Z")
Clearly, some form of vegetable-based condom is needed. A leekskin? Some kind of tuber? A love clove? And BTW, what do vegans feel about Venus Flytraps? ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2007, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-sex-please-i-m-a-vegan/415428/31 "2007-08-13T21:05:20Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim] Clearly, some form of vegetable-based condom is needed. A leekskin? Some kind of tuber? A love clove? [/QUOTE] [Here you go](http://www.veganerotica.com/) Warning: Not Safe For Work. If it doesn’t freak people out, it will give them a laughing fit. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2007, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-sex-please-i-m-a-vegan/415428/32 "2007-08-13T21:27:24Z")
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas] [Here you go](http://www.veganerotica.com/) Warning: Not Safe For Work. If it doesn’t freak people out, it will give them a laughing fit. [/QUOTE] It says on their entrance page that they sell vegan condoms, but I can’t find them anywhere in their catalog. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2007, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-sex-please-i-m-a-vegan/415428/33 "2007-08-13T21:34:17Z")
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas] [Here you go](http://www.veganerotica.com/) Warning: Not Safe For Work. If it doesn’t freak people out, it will give them a laughing fit. [/QUOTE] Apparently, the only vegan-approved kink is S&M. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2007, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-sex-please-i-m-a-vegan/415428/34 "2007-08-13T22:01:45Z")
[QUOTE=Ogre] Apparently, the only vegan-approved kink is S&M. 😕 [/QUOTE] I suppose bestialty is right out. Unless they really love animals… ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2007, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-sex-please-i-m-a-vegan/415428/35 "2007-08-13T22:49:27Z")
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas] Have those vegans ever stopped to consider that the bodies of the moo-cows and birdies and little piggies and other dead animals that people eat are made up of plants? [/QUOTE] Course not. > [@Carl Sagan/Moby](#): > > You do realize we’re all made of stars ---
**Author:** ![Oslo\_Ostragoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a9a28c/32.png) [@Oslo\_Ostragoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oslo_Ostragoth)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2007, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-sex-please-i-m-a-vegan/415428/36 "2007-08-14T04:19:25Z")
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas] [Here you go](http://www.veganerotica.com/) Warning: Not Safe For Work. If it doesn’t freak people out, it will give them a laughing fit. [/QUOTE] I should no longer be amazed at what is on the internet, yet I am. ---
**Author:** ![gS49](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3da27b/32.png) [@gS49](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gS49)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2007, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-sex-please-i-m-a-vegan/415428/37 "2007-08-14T12:42:24Z")
[QUOTE=An Arky] I think it’s just another part of the whole pleasure-denying trip some vegans are on. I support people being vegans because they don’t want animals killed, but deep down, I think that for a few, it’s some form of self-hatred or something. Same thing with people who jog till they’re stringy or are workaholics. [/QUOTE] Literally, it’s that they (moral vegetarians/vegans) consider themselves no better than the worm in an apple. Altho why the worm is better than the apple, I don’t understand. For some, I’m certain, the real roots are in self-loathing. For others, it’s a desire for (faux) moral superiority. There are better ways to be better. Vegetarians who base their philosophy on nutritional or esthetic grounds are less likely to go all the way. to vegan, I mean. ---
**Author:** ![gS49](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3da27b/32.png) [@gS49](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gS49)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2007, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-sex-please-i-m-a-vegan/415428/38 "2007-08-14T12:52:34Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim] Clearly, some form of vegetable-based condom is needed. A leekskin? Some kind of tuber? A love clove? [/quote] Latex comes from plants, boyo. > [@](#): > > And BTW, what do vegans feel about Venus Flytraps? Well, they wouldn’t have sex with them. Which somehow reminds me of an old TV show. ---
**Author:** ![gS49](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3da27b/32.png) [@gS49](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gS49)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2007, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-sex-please-i-m-a-vegan/415428/39 "2007-08-14T12:56:03Z")
A further question. If all animal products are disallowed, do vegans refuse to breastfeed? Or are babies who refuse the breast vegans from birth? And what about adult vegans? And what about milk baths? And, does a vegan refuse to have a carnivorous pet? Or just to have sex with them? ---
**Author:** ![Auntbeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Auntbeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Auntbeast)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2007, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-sex-please-i-m-a-vegan/415428/40 "2007-08-14T13:07:32Z")
Gee, Most people just get married so they don’t have to put out any more… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-sex-please-i-m-a-vegan/415428.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-sex-please-i-m-a-vegan/415428.md?page=3)