# No swimming! A vasectomy celebration thread. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 14, 2019, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-swimming-a-vasectomy-celebration-thread/829514 "2019-02-14T01:36:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2019, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-swimming-a-vasectomy-celebration-thread/829514/21 "2019-02-14T20:38:21Z")
> [@Dead\_Cat](#): > > For those who have had it done, why do you consider the fairly severe, one-off inconvenience of having it done preferable to the small, regular inconvenience of using contraception? Because the procedure isn’t that big of a deal and, hopefully, it’s avoiding thousands of future inconveniences which add up not to mention doing without when contraception isn’t available. My funny story: they said that I could resume normal activity after ten days. That’s not quite true. I took a yoga class and nearly passed out when I tried [eagle pose](https://yogainternational.com/article/view/eagle-pose). ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2019, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-swimming-a-vasectomy-celebration-thread/829514/22 "2019-02-14T20:38:59Z")
I didn’t think it was that severe, I mean it was uncomfortable for a while, but no worse than being sick for a couple of days. After that it was a matter of taking things easy for a few weeks while I fully healed. The regular inconvenience of using contraception is something that impacted my life every single time I wanted to have sex, and always retained a significant risk of pregnancy. As the Mrs. doesn’t react well to hormonal contraception, we were a condom household, and those things are a bit of a pain, and not completely reliable. If she was not negatively impacted by the pill, or other long term hormonal contraception, that may have been the way to go, it would have been just as convenient in the moment, but doesn’t require surgery. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2019, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-swimming-a-vasectomy-celebration-thread/829514/23 "2019-02-14T20:41:42Z")
> [@Dead\_Cat](#): > > For those who have had it done, why do you consider the fairly severe, one-off inconvenience of having it done preferable to the small, regular inconvenience of using contraception? Absolutely. It’s been 32 years for me. My wife preferred IUDs, and after we had our second and last kid the IUD issue had arose and you couldn’t get one in the US. We were thinking about going to Denmark, but I got a vasectomy and we went on a cruise instead. Not having to think about the consequence of a birth control error is very good. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2019, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-swimming-a-vasectomy-celebration-thread/829514/24 "2019-02-14T20:43:16Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > Had mine done after right after the birth of my daughter, eight years ago. Doctor’s name was Nutting. He tried talking politics while he held my balls in his hand under a knife (he a Republican, I a Democrat). I wasn’t having it, and I successfully turned the conversation to, I believe, baseball. I had mine done on Halloween. The doctor wore vampire fangs. And I don’t remember any smoke coming out of anywhere. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2019, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-swimming-a-vasectomy-celebration-thread/829514/25 "2019-02-14T20:50:40Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > Oh boy, not even close for me. The one time “inconvenience” was no big deal. Neither the surgery nor the recovery were difficult or unusually unpleasant. Having sex spontaneously and without contraception or fear of pregnancy for the following 20 years (so far), _Priceless_. I wish I had done it sooner. Yeah- I went in at about 3 on a Friday afternoon, and an hour later, I was on my way home. A weekend spent with ice-packs on my nuts and taking it easy without any serious discomfort, and I was back at work on Monday morning. Insurance paid for the whole thing, soup to nuts (heh!), and the only ongoing component was a series of samples at various intervals to ensure that it was all snipped, closed, and staying closed. And my surgeon’s cool- I can take samples in whenever if I’m nervous for some reason- I took one in about a year ago just for peace of mind, even though I had no reason to believe that anything was awry. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2019, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-swimming-a-vasectomy-celebration-thread/829514/26 "2019-02-14T22:30:25Z")
Twenty years plus of shooting blanks later, what I really remember was the _amazingly_ colorful bruising my nether regions developed. Well, that and the one – _one_ – time during my recovery that my little dog jumped up into my lap while I was in my recliner. If memory serves, I actually managed to catch him just before he really landed. Whew! ---
**Author:** ![EscAlaMike](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/escalamike/32/4177_2.png) [@EscAlaMike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EscAlaMike)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2019, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-swimming-a-vasectomy-celebration-thread/829514/27 "2019-02-14T22:48:28Z")
This thread is making me queasy. I’m squeamish enough around doctors/medical stuff. But going under the knife in order to cause a body part to _mal_function, on purpose??? :eek: No thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2019, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-swimming-a-vasectomy-celebration-thread/829514/28 "2019-02-14T23:04:29Z")
Well first of all, I appreciate all the congratulations 🙂 I didn’t mean to abandon my own OP, but I’ve going nonstop since I woke up this morning. > [@Kelevra](#): > > I got mine done about 5 years ago. > TMI: Doc told me I have a “short scrotum”. Didn’t mean anything to me as it’s the only one I’ve ever known. Until the procedure where the nurse had to pull on my nuts the whole time to give him room to cut/tie/burn/suture. It was extremely unpleasant. I was going to tell the funny thing that happened (funny…ish) during mine, but I think it pales in comparison to yours! The most _awkward_ part of mine, apart from the obvious, was the nurse who prepped me. When she was placing the towels, and picked up my penis to move it out of the way, she used just the veery end of her index finger and thumb. It was the exact same gesture and facial expression you might see someone use when they pick up a hairball with a tissue. I figured mine must be pretty horrifying to cause such a reaction from someone who probably sees dozens a day :eek: My wife assured me she was just being professional. > [@Dead\_Cat](#): > > For those who have had it done, why do you consider the fairly severe, one-off inconvenience of having it done preferable to the small, regular inconvenience of using contraception? First of all, as others have said, it wasn’t a severe inconvenience. The actual procedure took 40 minutes, after that I spend 2 days in my comfy chair playing X-Box, popping 2 Advil every 4 hours and rotating bags of frozen peas off my nuts. Within 7 days I was ‘active’ again and able to run without pain. If I was in a situation where I needed to use condoms for STI protection anyway, it might be different. But I’m married and don’t have that worry, so the ability to be spontaneous (as also pointed out before me) is a huge plus. My wife also doesn’t do great on the pill, so we were a condom household, and you can say what you will but that can easily take the mood down a notch or 7 sometimes. > [@hajario](#): > > Because the procedure isn’t that big of a deal and, hopefully, it’s avoiding thousands of future inconveniences which add up not to mention doing without when contraception isn’t available. > > My funny story: they said that I could resume normal activity after ten days. That’s not quite true. I took a yoga class and nearly passed out when I tried [eagle pose](https://yogainternational.com/article/view/eagle-pose). I almost pass out when I try eagle pose, anyway, I can only imagine! :eek: > [@EscAlaMike](#): > > This thread is making me queasy. > > I’m squeamish enough around doctors/medical stuff. But going under the knife in order to cause a body part to _mal_function, on purpose??? :eek: No thanks. Everything functions just fine. ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2019, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-swimming-a-vasectomy-celebration-thread/829514/29 "2019-02-15T06:39:56Z")
Having it done…everyone mentions spontaneity, heck just not having to disrupt the natural ebb and flow of a romantic evening(planned or not) with something as unsexy as stopping to put on a condom, and dealing with it after, i dunno, its not a total mood killer, but sex was much better afterwards ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Dead\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Cat)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2019, 9:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-swimming-a-vasectomy-celebration-thread/829514/30 "2019-02-15T09:31:46Z")
Thanks for all the responses. I think my wife is likely to return to the pill once activities resume following the birth of our second (and last planned) child, which is imminent, and I believe she has some positive side effects from that too, so I still think that’s the best solution for us. Of course, it’s not 100% effective, but nothing is (though I appreciate a properly done and tested vasectomy is significantly lower risk). Like EscalaMike, I’m extremely squeamish so would rather avoid any non-essential medical appointments if I can. If we were a condom household I can see the inconvenience factor might outweigh that. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2019, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-swimming-a-vasectomy-celebration-thread/829514/31 "2019-02-15T12:16:33Z")
> [@Dead\_Cat](#): > > Thanks for all the responses. I think my wife is likely to return to the pill once activities resume following the birth of our second (and last planned) child, which is imminent, and I believe she has some positive side effects from that too, so I still think that’s the best solution for us. Of course, it’s not 100% effective, but nothing is (though I appreciate a properly done and tested vasectomy is significantly lower risk). Like EscalaMike, I’m extremely squeamish so would rather avoid any non-essential medical appointments if I can. If we were a condom household I can see the inconvenience factor might outweigh that. Can’t fault you for that; I’d probably not have done it if there was an alternative. For those of you staying in condom-ville, I can’t recommend the [Trojan Naturalamb](http://www.trojanbrands.com/en/condoms/TROJAN-Naturalamb-Luxury-Condoms) highly enough. I regret that we didn’t discover them until the very end. The only drawbacks are that they’re PRICEY (worth it), and that they smell like…well…lamb. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2019, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-swimming-a-vasectomy-celebration-thread/829514/32 "2019-02-15T15:11:50Z")
> [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > The most _awkward_ part of mine, apart from the obvious, was the nurse who prepped me. When she was placing the towels, and picked up my penis to move it out of the way, she used just the veery end of her index finger and thumb. It was the exact same gesture and facial expression you might see someone use when they pick up a hairball with a tissue. I figured mine must be pretty horrifying to cause such a reaction from someone who probably sees dozens a day :eek: My wife assured me she was just being professional. Actually, that was the single most bizarre part of my vasectomy too; the nurse just grabbed and taped it up out of the way without any reaction, squeamishness or anything. She pretty much had the same expression and economy of movement that she had while laying out the instruments and getting everything else ready. It was the most businesslike handling of my junk that I’ve ever had, or probably will ever have again. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2019, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-swimming-a-vasectomy-celebration-thread/829514/33 "2019-02-15T15:17:32Z")
> [@bump](#): > > … It was the most businesslike handling of my junk that I’ve ever had, or probably will ever have again. If you’re lucky. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2019, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-swimming-a-vasectomy-celebration-thread/829514/34 "2019-02-15T15:23:12Z")
> [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > Well first of all, I appreciate all the congratulations 🙂 I didn’t mean to abandon my own OP, but I’ve going nonstop since I woke up this morning. I know the sterilization is exciting, but take a break once in a while or you’re going to have some serious chafing. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2019, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-swimming-a-vasectomy-celebration-thread/829514/35 "2019-02-15T15:57:17Z")
My buddy Jeff was being prepped for his vasectomy and the woman working on him said, “Hey. Did you go to xyz high-school?” Turns out he knew her, which was awkward. He had it done on a Friday, and planned on relaxing in bed until Monday. But Saturday morning his boss called and offered him some huge bonus if he’d work a 12 hour shift Saturday. He couldn’t turn down the money, so he went in. He’s a machinist. By Saturday night he was hideously swollen. He went to the ER and they were concerned, until they heard that he’d been on his feet all day. They gave him an ice-pack and told him to stay off his feet. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2019, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-swimming-a-vasectomy-celebration-thread/829514/36 "2019-02-15T19:43:29Z")
I’m curious- how many of you had the [no-scalpel vasectomy](https://www.dallasvasectomyclinic.com/No_Scalpel_Vasectomy.php)? That’s what I had. I’ve heard that the more traditional one is much more traumatic. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2019, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-swimming-a-vasectomy-celebration-thread/829514/37 "2019-02-15T20:49:51Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > I know the sterilization is exciting, but take a break once in a while or you’re going to have some serious chafing. Niiiice ---
**Author:** ![snowthx](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowthx/32/10660_2.png) [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2019, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-swimming-a-vasectomy-celebration-thread/829514/38 "2019-02-15T23:49:17Z")
Had mine done after my 2nd child turned 1 yo. and discussing with my wife, in early 2000s. Question: should we have more kids? [me: doing ‘no mas’ motion with hand in front of neck]. Operation was uneventful. While my wife was making fun of me that weekend with the pack of frozen peas on my crotch, I quipped that while I could not get her pregnant again, I could not get anyone else pregnant, either! 😃 I also told her that after the 2 clear samples were done, that the doctor recommended I “clear the pipes”, you know, orally a few times before resuming sex. :o For guys my age that have not had it done - do you really want to be a father now? ---
**Author:** ![FinsToTheLeft](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finstotheleft/32/2930_2.png) [@FinsToTheLeft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinsToTheLeft)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2019, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-swimming-a-vasectomy-celebration-thread/829514/39 "2019-02-16T01:22:22Z")
> [@bump](#): > > I’m curious- how many of you had the [no-scalpel vasectomy](https://www.dallasvasectomyclinic.com/No_Scalpel_Vasectomy.php)? That’s what I had. > > I’ve heard that the more traditional one is much more traumatic. This is what I had. Drove myself home from the hospital, took it easy that day with a couple of Tylenol and a script for Vicodin. Never needed the script and was ready to ride in 5 days. The worst part of the whole thing was removing the two bandaids on my scrotum! ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2019, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-swimming-a-vasectomy-celebration-thread/829514/40 "2019-02-16T11:06:10Z")
> [@FinsToTheLeft](#): > > two bandaids on my scrotum! Can I have this for the name of my future rock band? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-swimming-a-vasectomy-celebration-thread/829514.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-swimming-a-vasectomy-celebration-thread/829514.md?page=3)