# "No-Talent Show" ideas
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-talent-show-ideas/375662
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [October 8, 2006, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-talent-show-ideas/375662 "2006-10-08T00:33:51Z")
**Posts on this page:** 8
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)
#### Post date: [October 8, 2006, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-talent-show-ideas/375662/1 "2006-10-08T00:33:51Z")
I want to enter a “No-Talent Show,” but I have no idea what my “no talent” should be. It has to be something very funny and can be any length (probably no more than a few minutes). If there’s a costume involved, it has to be something very simple. And it can’t make a mess.
Anyone have any ideas?
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### Author:  [@Fragster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fragster)
#### Post date: [October 8, 2006, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-talent-show-ideas/375662/2 "2006-10-08T01:05:41Z")
Interpretive dance. If music is allowed, don’t use it. Sing your own song, preferably one you made up yourself.
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### Author:  [@hawksgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawksgirl)
#### Post date: [October 8, 2006, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-talent-show-ideas/375662/3 "2006-10-08T01:07:52Z")
[QUOTE=Fragster]
Interpretive dance. If music is allowed, don’t use it. Sing your own song, preferably one you made up yourself.
[/QUOTE]
Or even just hum your tune.
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### Author:  [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)
#### Post date: [October 8, 2006, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-talent-show-ideas/375662/4 "2006-10-08T01:18:56Z")
I’d say you can’t go wrong with some hambone.
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### Author:  [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)
#### Post date: [October 8, 2006, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-talent-show-ideas/375662/5 "2006-10-08T01:24:39Z")
I once wrote an unproduced script about a superhero named “Jizzman”. Kind of like Spiderman but with a Super-capable penis, sperm, and testicles.
Finally, masturbation for Good rather than Evil!
You have my permission to adapt this concept to your requirements.
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### Author:  [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)
#### Post date: [October 8, 2006, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-talent-show-ideas/375662/6 "2006-10-08T01:29:07Z")
Come to think of it, you could do an interpretive dance called “Jizzman” – possibly to the music of Carol King’s “Jazzman”.
BTW, I puctured the suit as a giant white sperm.
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### Author:  [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)
#### Post date: [October 8, 2006, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-talent-show-ideas/375662/7 "2006-10-08T01:58:36Z")
Narrative mime.
Who doesn’t like mime? And people who don’t get it will certainly appreciate your explaining as you go along.
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### Author:  [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)
#### Post date: [October 8, 2006, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-talent-show-ideas/375662/8 "2006-10-08T02:12:00Z")
[QUOTE=kunilou]
Narrative mime.
Who doesn’t like mime? And people who don’t get it will certainly appreciate your explaining as you go along.
[/QUOTE]
No, mimed narrative!
Or would that be deemed offensive by sign language interpreters?
There’s always “NEWS FOR THE HARD OF HEARING!.”