# No thank you, I do not want to dance. Which of these words is giving you trouble? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 30, 2013, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546 "2013-08-30T00:09:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/21 "2013-08-30T12:56:47Z")
> [@epbrown01](#): > > Sure, it’s clear. What it’s not, is relevant. A rifle shot to the head will kill you. Being run over by an 18-wheeler will kill you. Doing something nice for another person for 4 and a half minutes will not kill you. Get up, keep your elbows in, shuffle your feet a bit, smile. How do you feel about date rape? ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/22 "2013-08-30T13:17:10Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > … > > Why do so many think it is OK to behave in this manner? > mmm I always though it was the liquor. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/23 "2013-08-30T15:19:49Z")
> [@epbrown01](#): > > Sure, it’s clear. What it’s not, is relevant. A rifle shot to the head will kill you. Being run over by an 18-wheeler will kill you. Doing something nice for another person for 4 and a half minutes will not kill you. Get up, keep your elbows in, shuffle your feet a bit, smile. I hope you’re joking, but I fear you’re not. [Note to everyone who thinks this way: Stop it right now and promise to never act this way at any event where there is dancing] The OP is a milder and kinder version of my attitude towards these “people” who try to get me to dance after I politely decline. I was at a wedding this summer where literally everyone in the place was dancing some kind of worm line of gyrations. Fine, I could have really enjoyed watching everyone have fun if not for the dozen or so assholes who tried with increasing force to get me to join them. ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/24 "2013-08-30T16:56:24Z")
I’m not too much enthralled about jumping around like in a seizure style dancing. I learned ballroom dancing as a freshman in high school. Just the right age to do that. ( raging hormones ) I always remember the favorite saying of our female dance instructor. _Dancing is a socially accepted way to get your hands **on** other men’s peoples women._ ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/25 "2013-08-30T17:01:39Z")
I’m not too much enthralled about jumping around like in a seizure style dancing. I learned ballroom dancing as a freshman in high school. Just the right age to do that. ( raging hormones ) I always remember the favorite saying of our female dance instructor. _Dancing is a socially accepted way to get your hands **on** other peoples women._ ---
**Author:** ![vontsira](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/51bf81/32.png) [@vontsira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vontsira)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/26 "2013-08-30T18:37:48Z")
> [@GusNSpot](#): > > _Dancing is a socially accepted way to get your hands **on** other peoples women._ Or – as Oscar Wilde put it – “a vertical version of a horizontal activity”. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/27 "2013-08-30T18:43:31Z")
> [@Ranger\_Jeff](#): > > How do you feel about date rape? I’m more into prunes. Maybe even a good raisin sometimes, but no dates. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/28 "2013-08-30T18:45:38Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > [Questionable Content](http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=2306) Sorry for the hijack, but why the hell did Jeph draw Faye with hairy breasts in that comic? ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/29 "2013-08-30T18:53:55Z")
> [@Labrador\_Deceiver](#): > > Sorry for the hijack, but why the hell did Jeph draw Faye with hairy breasts in that comic? It’s the scar from her car accident. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/30 "2013-08-30T18:58:18Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > It’s the scar from her car accident. I was betting that I had forgotten some back story. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![sciurophobic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cab0a1/32.png) [@sciurophobic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sciurophobic)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/31 "2013-08-30T19:02:14Z")
To rephrase what I said in a [similar thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=695388) unless you’re someplace where you’re going to be judged on your dancing skills swaying in one place while holding a beer with one hand and half-heartedly waving the other will qualify as dancing. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/32 "2013-08-30T19:16:55Z")
> [@](#): > > No thank you, I do not want to dance. Which of these words is giving you trouble? Duh, it’s the “No.” Coming from other people’s mouths, it’s inaudible. They can only hear it when they speak it themselves. ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5ac83/32.png) [@Doug\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_K)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/33 "2013-08-30T19:17:55Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > Dear fellow party/wedding/nightclub attendee, > [@fanganga](#): > > Out of curiosity, why would someone who dislikes dancing pay to attend a venue specifically for dancing? None of these venues are specifically for dancing. I don’t dislike dancing, although I don’t like dancing with strangers, only friends, and mostly just my wife. But that said, if I go to a nightclub it’s not to dance, it’s because I want to see and hear the band (I don’t go to places that don’t have live music). If I go to a wedding it’s not to dance, it’s to see my friends getting married. If I go to a party, it’s not to dance, it’s to visit with friends. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/34 "2013-08-30T19:22:11Z")
Because it’s fun to get a stick-in-the-mud to dance. If you accomplish it, you acquire great social capital. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/35 "2013-08-30T20:01:47Z")
> [@sciurophobic](#): > > To rephrase what I said in a [similar thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=695388) unless you’re someplace where you’re going to be judged on your dancing skills swaying in one place while holding a beer with one hand and half-heartedly waving the other will qualify as dancing. And I’m still not going to do that, no matter how hard you try. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/36 "2013-08-30T20:04:27Z")
I feel the same way about stage acts that want the audience to a)sing along or b)stand up and dance near your seat. I have a good voice, but I don’t sing in public, and dancing in place is just stupid. I also really detest things where you suddenly find yourself forced into a circle where people are holding hands. I simply refuse, and am then looked at as some sort of leper. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/37 "2013-08-30T20:04:34Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Not to excuse the dancepushers, because that’s obnoxious, but they do succeed a fair amount. They succeed because they don’t stop unless you get nasty, and then you end up looking like an asshole. There are no people who secretly want to dance and need to be pushed into it, only people who will do it because yelling at you to leave them the fuck alone at a wedding is probably not going to go over well. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/38 "2013-08-30T20:16:42Z")
I love threads on the dope about parties and other common social behavior. ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/39 "2013-08-30T20:17:48Z")
Agreed. People who secretly want to dance but need to be pushed into it are rare as unicorns. I think the psychology behind this is that everyone secretly knows that dancing is ridiculous and looks stupid. But looking stupid together is a form of bonding to some people. So they do it and want you to do it as well. If you don’t do it there’s no bonding - just looking stupid. So they have to keep pressuring you to join in to save face. (I don’t actually believe that second paragraph. I’m just venting.) ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/40 "2013-08-30T20:19:09Z")
I have my own personal reasons for not dancing, namely that the music usually sucks. If there’s a good song I get up and dance but then people expect me to stay on the floor so I can’t win. I too occasionally will dance if people are begging me but it’s not because I secretly want to, it’s because like others have said, I don’t want to look like the bad guy. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546.md?page=3)