# No thank you, I do not want to dance. Which of these words is giving you trouble? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 30, 2013, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546 "2013-08-30T00:09:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/41 "2013-08-30T20:35:10Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > There are no people who secretly want to dance and need to be pushed into it This statement is nearly as profound as “there is nothing to fear but fear itself”. I wish every human on earth could read it and accept its Truth. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/42 "2013-08-30T20:56:19Z")
I love to dance, but if the music is horrible, I will flat out refuse. I am extremely picky about DJs. I notice most DJs don’t dance so I don’t know how the hell they can choose the best songs to dance to. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/43 "2013-08-30T21:10:33Z")
I have success in pointing to my knee and shaking my head. Granted, there is nothing wrong with my knee and I never say there is, but people make their own assumptions and move on. ---
**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/44 "2013-08-30T21:31:11Z")
> [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > I love threads on the dope about parties and other common social behavior. They are rather telling about the group’s make-up. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/45 "2013-08-30T22:19:49Z")
> [@epbrown01](#): > > Sure, it’s clear. What it’s not, is relevant. A rifle shot to the head will kill you. Being run over by an 18-wheeler will kill you. Doing something nice for another person for 4 and a half minutes will not kill you. What do you mean it’s not relevant? How is a person not wanting to dance not relevant to whether or not he dances? It’s his feet. A person may only decline that which actually hurts them? Since when? He is being asked to dance and he does not want to. **That should be the end of the story**. If I feel like dancing, I dance; if I feel like drinking, I drink; if not, I don’t. And so on for various other activities. What’s wrong with that? ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/46 "2013-08-30T22:32:23Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally Posted by epbrown01 View Post > Sure, it’s clear. What it’s not, is relevant. A rifle shot to the head will kill you. Being run over by an 18-wheeler will kill you. Doing something nice for another person for 4 and a half minutes will not kill you. Revisiting this: Running around the streets naked wouldn’t kill me either, but if I don’t feel like doing it, I’m not going to do it. Is that really the standard? And, how the hell is dancing (against my wishes or not) doing "something nice for another person? ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/47 "2013-08-30T22:52:41Z")
I think non-dancers at a nightclub are kind of like non-drinkers at a bar. You have every right to be there and people should leave you alone. But you just look like you’re intent on not having fun to some people. People go to these places to get disinhibited, and they want everyone around them to be of the same mindset (I suppose to affirm their choices). Anyone who isn’t on the same page? Total buzzkill. I don’t go to nightclubs or bars or any other social settings, but I can kind of get with this. It’s kind of like if I’m at a party and everyone in the party is happy and laughing except one guy, who is standing in the corner bawling his eyes out. I don’t care if the guy is the one throwing the party, he’s messing up the mood. He needs to either fix his face or go somewhere else. I wouldn’t say this to him, of course, but I’d be thinking it. I think the dance pushers feel the same way when it comes to people not dancing around them. But no, no one needs to force people into dancing. I personally love to dance. If I had my way, I’d dance 24 hours a day. Just not in front of other people. Whenever I succumb to peer pressure and dance in front others, my poor dancing ability becomes the topic of conversation. There are only so many “Are you having a seizure?” jokes that a person can take. No thanks. I’ll keep being the dancing queen in my bedroom mirror, and I’ll leave the actual dance floor to other people. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/48 "2013-08-30T22:59:45Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > I think non-dancers at a nightclub are kind of like non-drinkers at a bar. You have every right to be there and people should leave you alone. But you just look like you’re intent on not having fun to some people. How do the people who won’t take no for an answer and try to force non drinkers to drink look to you? ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/49 "2013-08-30T23:16:08Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally Posted by monstro View Post > I think non-dancers at a nightclub are kind of like non-drinkers at a bar. You have every right to be there and people should leave you alone. But you just look like you’re intent on not having fun to some people. That may partially explain it, but certainly not excuse it. I’m very happy being at a wedding or a bar where people are dancing. Unless someone is trying to get me to dance. Then I’m not having any fun at all. ---
**Author:** ![Steken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Steken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steken)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/50 "2013-08-30T23:27:15Z")
> [@epbrown01](#): > > Sure, it’s clear. What it’s not, is relevant. A rifle shot to the head will kill you. Being run over by an 18-wheeler will kill you. Doing something nice for another person for 4 and a half minutes will not kill you. Get up, keep your elbows in, shuffle your feet a bit, smile. So dancing is for boyfriends what anal sex is for girlfriends. Got it. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/51 "2013-08-30T23:30:31Z")
I see a bright future for the new reality TV show: _So You Think You Can Get Me To Dance?_ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2013, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/52 "2013-08-31T05:12:29Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > I see a bright future for the new reality TV show: _So You Think You Can Get Me To Dance?_ 😃 Now that I might watch… 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2013, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/53 "2013-08-31T07:25:39Z")
I love to dance, the waltz is probably my favorite dance of all times, followed by the polka. Unfortunately it is difficult to polka or waltz in a manual wheelchair. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2013, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/54 "2013-08-31T12:11:59Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > I see a bright future for the new reality TV show: _So You Think You Can Get Me To Dance?_ 😃 Love it. Dibs on being the first contestant. mmm ---
**Author:** ![sciurophobic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cab0a1/32.png) [@sciurophobic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sciurophobic)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2013, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/55 "2013-08-31T12:16:48Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > I love to dance, but if the music is horrible, I will flat out refuse. I am extremely picky about DJs. I notice most DJs don’t dance so I don’t know how the hell they can choose the best songs to dance to. Ok, this I agree with. I don’t understand complete refusal to ever get on the dance floor, but I admit I also will refuse to dance to music I hate. I’ll get up when the rap song is over thank you. Unless it’s followed by country, then I’m still not moving. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2013, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/56 "2013-08-31T13:31:40Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > Why do so many think it is OK to behave in this manner? Dancing is a mating behaviour. These ladies are interested in you as a man. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2013, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/57 "2013-08-31T13:32:00Z")
> [@sciurophobic](#): > > I don’t understand complete refusal to ever get on the dance floor… Seriously? You can’t fathom that every soul on earth does not enjoy a particular activity? mmm ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2013, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/58 "2013-08-31T16:16:40Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > Dancing is a mating behaviour. These ladies are interested in you as a man. 😃 Heh, using that premise could really make things “better”… for those watching the trainwreck. In case anyone missed the ironic tone: [del]Sometimes[/del] Most of the time a dance is just a dance. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2013, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/59 "2013-09-01T02:34:52Z")
> [@epbrown01](#): > > Sure, it’s clear. What it’s not, is relevant. A rifle shot to the head will kill you. Being run over by an 18-wheeler will kill you. Doing something nice for another person for 4 and a half minutes will not kill you. Get up, keep your elbows in, shuffle your feet a bit, smile. This is total crap. An adult in a free society can make his or her own decisions about what they want to do. > [@DigitalC](#): > > They succeed because they don’t stop unless you get nasty, and then you end up looking like an asshole. \ This drives me crazy - don’t mistake my politeness for being a pushover. I’m still working on a polite way to say something like, “I really don’t want to do that, and I’d really like you to stop asking me.” ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2013, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/60 "2013-09-01T03:46:58Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > There are no people who secretly want to dance and need to be pushed into it, only people who will do it because yelling at you to leave them the fuck alone at a wedding is probably not going to go over well. Sorry, I don’t buy it. I’ve been that person before–or rather, the person who didn’t think I’d have fun, but ended up having fun when I got pressured into getting on the dance floor. Last I checked, I lack a horn on my forehead. I think a lot of people have conflicting emotions: embarrassment at the idea of dancing, and a desire to dance. I bet the dancepushers have felt that themselves. Again, not to excuse their behavior, but it sometimes works. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546.md?page=4)