# No thank you, I do not want to dance. Which of these words is giving you trouble? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 30, 2013, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546 "2013-08-30T00:09:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/121 "2013-09-06T17:11:19Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > If you are sitting quietly, reading a book you are always obligated to stop what you are doing if someone wants to talk to you. To do otherwise is to be rude. > > If you are not dancing, but someone insists you stop what you are doing and dance, you must dance. To do otherwise is to be rude. > > In short, you are never allowed to just sit and mind your own business if someone else decides that you must entertain them. I’m going to start a reverse trend and start dragging people off the dance floor, forcing them to sit quietly and lead a more cotemplative life. I’m also going to break up conversations, hand out reading material and tell people to read what I’ve chosen for them. Don’t forget, if you and your spouse are enjoying a little afternoon delight, and someone drops by without calling, you are obliged to stop, get dressed, answer the door, and entertain them. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/122 "2013-09-06T18:24:44Z")
Yeah, introverts (or even people who every once in a while like to hear themselves think) must always stop and perform like trained monkeys to keep extroverts from ever facing a moment’s silence. If an extrovert ever stops, he will have to face the endless void… ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2013, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/123 "2013-10-15T02:45:13Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > In short, you are never allowed to just sit and mind your own business if someone else decides that you must entertain them. I’m going to start a reverse trend and start dragging people off the dance floor, forcing them to sit quietly and lead a more cotemplative life. I’m also going to break up conversations, hand out reading material and tell people to read what I’ve chosen for them. Sorta forgot about this thread; ran across it again and opened it up in order to applaud this and **Ranger Jeff** ’s posts. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2013, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/124 "2013-10-15T05:18:59Z")
Gosh. Thank you. :: blush :: I was surprised to see it show up myself. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2013, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/125 "2013-10-16T17:04:12Z")
> [@Doug\_K](#): > > So no one who doesn’t like to dance is allowed to attend weddings? No one who doesn’t like to dance can go hear a local band or hang out with friends? Ridiculous. The people who need to learn to behave gracefully are the ones who can’t take no for an answer. Oh, and you had better drink if they have alcohol, cause you know, it’s the social thing to do. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2013, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/126 "2013-10-16T17:12:02Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > Don’t forget, if you and your spouse are enjoying a little afternoon delight, and someone drops by without calling, you are obliged to stop, get dressed, answer the door, and entertain them. No need to get dressed, or stop for any longer than it takes to get the door open. I for one would be quite entertained. ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2013, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/127 "2013-10-16T18:56:44Z")
People act this way because it works. After another victim succumbs to forced dancing they get to congratulate themselves for either making you “have a good time,” since if you are dancing well, it will appear that you are enjoying yourself, or they can laugh at you for your lack of dancing prowess. Either way, they win. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2013, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/128 "2013-10-16T19:55:58Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Sorry, I don’t buy it. I’ve been that person before–or rather, the person who didn’t think I’d have fun, but ended up having fun when I got pressured into getting on the dance floor. … > > … Again, not to excuse their behavior, but it sometimes works. It works so often there’s a term for it – “Stockholm Syndrome.” 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Harvey\_The\_Heavy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Harvey\_The\_Heavy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harvey_The_Heavy)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2013, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/129 "2013-10-17T14:41:32Z")
Typical “blame the victim” mentality. The dancepushers have no idea how rude and disrespectful they’re being, so it must be the other people who have a problem. If you’re at a concert, is it OK to drag unwilling people into the mosh pit? I would think at a wedding people could show the same level of consideration found at a Motörhead gig. ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2013, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/130 "2013-10-17T14:54:36Z")
There are some people who do end up having fun after being pressured into dancing, but the ends don’t justify the means. Rape wouldn’t be okay even if some people ended up enjoying it. There’s a big difference between trying to talk someone into doing something and refusing to take “no” for an answer. More wedding mosh pits are in order, perhaps. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2016, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/131 "2016-07-03T23:19:18Z")
Yeah, it’s a zombie, but it’s _my_ zombie, so…Arise! I attended a wedding reception the other night and the phenomenon lives on. There was one dancer I noticed, in particular, who spent a great deal of her dancing time surveying the crowd in order to identify SWSBDs (Sitters Who Should Be Dancing). It was a sight. She apparently felt it was part of her responsibility to inform others that they have an obligation to be on the dance floor. Yes, she identified me as an SWSBD, ignoring the possibility that I was perfectly content sipping my drink, chatting with a table-mate, enjoying (some of) the music, and watching the dancing. I was pooping no party; I was an active and engaged wedding attendee. But I was not, you know, _dancing_. And this was unacceptable. She actually put her hands on my shoulders at one point. I don’t know why I’m rehashing all this, just venting I suppose. And still marveling at others’ lack of awareness. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2016, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/132 "2016-07-03T23:52:55Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > Yeah, it’s a zombie, but it’s _my_ zombie, so…Arise! > > I attended a wedding reception the other night and the phenomenon lives on. There was one dancer I noticed, in particular, who spent a great deal of her dancing time surveying the crowd in order to identify SWSBDs (Sitters Who Should Be Dancing). > > It was a sight. She apparently felt it was part of her responsibility to inform others that they have an obligation to be on the dance floor. Yes, she identified me as an SWSBD, ignoring the possibility that I was perfectly content sipping my drink, chatting with a table-mate, enjoying (some of) the music, and watching the dancing. I was pooping no party; I was an active and engaged wedding attendee. > > But I was not, you know, _dancing_. And this was unacceptable. She actually put her hands on my shoulders at one point. > > I don’t know why I’m rehashing all this, just venting I suppose. And still marveling at others’ lack of awareness. > mmm I would rather give an impromptu speech to 500 people than go on the dance floor. ---
**Author:** ![P-man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/p-man/32/3606_2.png) [@P-man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P-man)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2016, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/133 "2016-07-04T02:42:24Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > No need to get dressed, or stop for any longer than it takes to get the door open. I for one would be quite entertained. A friend showed up early not long ago and we weren’t finished yet. She hung ot with the dog until we came downstairs. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2016, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/134 "2016-07-04T03:47:16Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > I don’t know why I’m rehashing all this, just venting I suppose. My money’s on stealth bragging. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2016, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/135 "2016-07-04T13:04:17Z")
The dancing part I can deal with, or could – I can’t recall it ever happening. Whatg I do object to is being forced to sing “Happy Birthday”, when there are only 3 or 4 people making up the chorus. I dislike singing a great deal more than the OP dislikes dancing. Dancing I can fake, just cop a feel and shift weight from one foot to the other. ---
**Author:** ![mascaroni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dc4da7/32.png) [@mascaroni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mascaroni)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2016, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/136 "2016-07-04T13:44:22Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > Yeah, it’s a zombie, but it’s _my_ zombie, so…Arise! > > I attended a wedding reception the other night and the phenomenon lives on. There was one dancer I noticed, in particular, who spent a great deal of her dancing time surveying the crowd in order to identify SWSBDs (Sitters Who Should Be Dancing)… I’d recommend dropping a couple of Ecstasy pills.You’ll soon be throwing shapes on the dancefloor that your relatives and friends will remember forever. That said, my cunning plan might not have been thoroughly thought out… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546.md?page=6)