# No, we're not fucking quaint. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 24, 2002, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-were-not-fucking-quaint/105459 "2002-04-24T23:50:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2002, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-were-not-fucking-quaint/105459/1 "2002-04-24T23:50:22Z")
I swear to god, if ONE MORE FUCKING PERSON uses the words “quaint” or “cute” as regards Britain or its people, I will hurt something. And no, it won’t be fucking funny if you say it as a comment to this post. It’s patronising and rude and belittling. We’re not cute or quaint compared to everyone else and to stereotype Britain as such is small-minded and really fucking annoying. That is all. ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2002, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-were-not-fucking-quaint/105459/2 "2002-04-24T23:58:10Z")
O.K. I won’t. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2002, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-were-not-fucking-quaint/105459/3 "2002-04-24T23:59:37Z")
You know, a little context would go a long way here… Who said this? Were they in your flat? On the lift? Down at the pub having a pint? I think you should have just told the git to get stuffed, and gone off for a shag. 😃 ::waits to die:: ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-were-not-fucking-quaint/105459/4 "2002-04-25T00:08:37Z")
I’m from Montana. You know – Cowboys! Wide open spaces! Camp fires! Women in poke bonnets! People who say “howdy”! It’s _The Untamed West_! Except that it’s not. We have cars, TVs, DSL, Pizza Hut, the whole nine yards. No, I didn’t grow up on a ranch. No, I don’t own a cowboy hat. Or cowboy boots. Yes, my school had more than one room. Yes, I know what a cappuchino is. Yes, I’ve heard of (and even read) the New York Times. If you want to experience The Old West, go rent _High Noon_. And don’t expect me to act quaintly old-fashioned just to support your romantic fantasy that somewhere it’s still 1880. We need to start a club of the Unquaint. ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-were-not-fucking-quaint/105459/5 "2002-04-25T00:09:37Z")
Ah! This **might** be the context. I can’t be certain though. Apologies, I can’t remember how to make the link tidy. I’ll have to learn that again. It is a thread about football and television people and ghastly tabloid “newspapers”. [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=111403](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=111403) ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-were-not-fucking-quaint/105459/6 "2002-04-25T00:12:49Z")
No, I think it was me (and **aspidistra** ) in [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=111403). I’m sorry if I insulted you, **Francesca**. I was just trying to be funny and, aparently, failed. Part of why I thought that was funny is that “quaint” isn’t a word I’d use to describe a nation that once ruled, what 2/3 of the globe? Anyway, again, sorry for insulting you. ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-were-not-fucking-quaint/105459/7 "2002-04-25T00:23:31Z")
Well, that triggered it. But it happens all the time, on and off the boards. Often people do it in jest and I can take a joke but it gets tiresome being patronised all the time. Oh, they play soccer but they call it football! How quaint! And they drink tea! Look at those cute little English people, saying “lift” and adding extra Us to their words. And they have that funny little island thing going on. Aren’t they just adorable? I do understand that it’s a joke (and **Miller** , I knew you were just kidding), but sometimes it just gets tiresome. ---
**Author:** ![apotheosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@apotheosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apotheosis)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-were-not-fucking-quaint/105459/8 "2002-04-25T00:23:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jodi \* > **Women in poke bonnets!** Why can’t you just call them diaphragms, like everyone else? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Truth\_Seeker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5fc32e/32.png) [@Truth\_Seeker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Truth_Seeker)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-were-not-fucking-quaint/105459/9 "2002-04-25T00:32:38Z")
But quaint is the leading UK export! The UK is all about quaint. One of the main reasons advanced for retaining the monarchy is that it’s a big tourist draw. You would describe this how? Post-modern? It’s also a handy description for bad plumbing as in a “quaint” hotel -\> “the bathrooms were last remodeled in honor of Queen Victoria’s Jubilee.” Quaint also means jobs and big tourist bucks. The travel industry markets quaint (and various subsets of quaint) 24/7. > [@](#): > > \*\* A sleepy little town (c. 11,000 pop.) in Cambridgeshire, England. Not Cambridge, New England, because then you’re talking Massachussets, which is a different thing entirely. Ely has been around a very long time indeed. The agreed phrase in the guidebooks is “steeped in history”. Quite right. Steeped, that’s what we are. Wading around in it the whole time, it gets quite tedious, to tell you the truth. You can hardly move without bumping into a sacrist’s gate here or a prior’s cottage there, founded or restored or sponsored by Alan of Somewhere in 1259. And then just as you’re reeling from the knock on the head you got from the authentic medieval stonework, you back into some tourists. These come in three sorts: Japanese, American, and elderly couples on a day trip from Northampton. The elderly couples are polite and timid, the Japanese want you to take a picture of them with a device smaller than the head of a pin, and the Americans tend to use the word “quaint” a lot. > > For example: > > “Oh look, Walt. A quaint English schoolboy. Say, quaint English schoolboy, could you point me in the direction of Eel-Eye1 Cathedral?” > > “Yes, it’s the very large stone building that you can see quite clearly from anywhere within ten miles.” > > “How quaint.” \*\* > **[h2g2 - Oops.](https://h2g2.com/alabaster/A227675)** > > h2g2, the Unconventional Guide to Life, the Universe and Everything 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-were-not-fucking-quaint/105459/10 "2002-04-25T00:52:05Z")
O.K. O.K. Not quaint. You English still need work on your dental hygiene though. [sub]Owwwww, Well SOMEBODY was going to say it. Owwwwwww![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Chez\_Guevara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/aeb1de/32.png) [@Chez\_Guevara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chez_Guevara)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-were-not-fucking-quaint/105459/11 "2002-04-25T01:08:06Z")
I disagree with the OP. All tourists asking for directions to the local pub this summer will be advised: _First left, first right, first corner, can’t miss it, you’ll like it, it’s Fucking Quaint._ ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-were-not-fucking-quaint/105459/12 "2002-04-25T02:01:45Z")
I think British people are cute. British guys, in particular. (Cute-hot, not cute-quaint.) (I want Charlie Hunnam stripped, boxed, and delivered to me by 0500 tomorrow.) ---
**Author:** ![shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shrew)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-were-not-fucking-quaint/105459/13 "2002-04-25T02:06:55Z")
People often use ‘quaint’ to describe the southern U.S. as well. Eh, doesn’t bother me. But I’ll make the mental note anyway: British shit ain’t fuckin’ quaint. Thanks bunches. ---
**Author:** ![shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shrew)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-were-not-fucking-quaint/105459/14 "2002-04-25T02:17:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > (I want Charlie Hunnam stripped, boxed, and delivered to me by 0500 tomorrow.) Get in line. Too bad his wifeypooh would probably object. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-were-not-fucking-quaint/105459/15 "2002-04-25T02:29:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Francesca \* > \*\*I swear to god, if ONE MORE FUCKING PERSON uses the words “quaint” or “cute” as regards Britain or its people, I will hurt something. And no, it won’t be fucking funny if you say it as a comment to this post. It’s patronising and rude and belittling. We’re not cute or quaint compared to everyone else and to stereotype Britain as such is small-minded and really fucking annoying. That is all. \*\* How quaint of you to say that. _::d&r::_ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-were-not-fucking-quaint/105459/16 "2002-04-25T02:30:29Z")
Seriously though, it is a stupid thing to say. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-were-not-fucking-quaint/105459/17 "2002-04-25T02:51:45Z")
**Francesca** , I can feel some of your pain. I’m from Kansas. No, Dodge City doesn’t have a Marshall Dillon. We don’t all live like _Little House on the Prarie._ Indians don’t live in teepees, they run casinos. And to top everything off, I don’t know Dorothy _or_ Toto!!! ---
**Author:** ![butter\_pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-were-not-fucking-quaint/105459/18 "2002-04-25T03:09:45Z")
I personally have an oil derrick in my backyard, and some cows down the street. (No, really. There are cows about five minutes away from my house. And I live in the suburbs.) ---
**Author:** ![Nichol\_storm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Nichol\_storm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nichol_storm)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-were-not-fucking-quaint/105459/19 "2002-04-25T03:28:33Z")
You think you got it bad? I live in MISSISSIPPI. Dolts come here having seen “Mississippi burning” and three episodes of “In the heat of the night” and think they know everything there is to know about my home state. No, doofus, I have never been to a Klan rally. No, doofus, I’ve never lynched anyone. No, doofus, I’ve never been lynched myself. No, doofus, I do not wear a hoop skirt. No, doofus, I do not live at Tara! No, doofus, I do not talk like Vivien Leigh. She was ENGLISH, fer crying out loud! No, doofus, I will not say, “Y’all come back now, ya heah?” just so you can laugh at my quaint Southern accent. No, doofus, I do not eat chitlins. No, doofus, just because I say “y’all” does NOT mean my IQ drops ten points automatically. No, doofus, I am not married to my cousin. No, doofus, I have never anally sodomized a Yankee. Though I am strangley tempted all of a sudden… .:Nichol:. ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-were-not-fucking-quaint/105459/20 "2002-04-25T03:40:07Z")
That said, your corporate bankruptcy laws _are_ quaint. Sorry, but they are. Freaking _Australia_ has more up-to-date bankruptcy laws than y’all. Not that this matters to you or subtracts from the correctness of your overall rant, but dammit I lost a lot of money on your stupid quaint bankruptcy laws, and I’m gonna rant. On another subject, **Jodi** sayeth, > [@](#): > > No, I don’t own a cowboy hat. Or cowboy boots. Damn. Another fantasy shot. Do you have a PVC nurse’s outfit? If you don’t, can I buy you one? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-were-not-fucking-quaint/105459.md?page=2)