# No white girls please. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 27, 2006, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-white-girls-please/346250 "2006-02-27T01:41:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2006, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-white-girls-please/346250/1 "2006-02-27T01:41:10Z")
So, I’m thinking about doing this on line dating thing. Since it seems you can tailor make what kink of girl you are intrested in; is it inherently wrong to specify any race beside Whites? Before I get flamed here, I only ask because I’ve had two interacial relationships that were probably the most intresting ones I’ve ever had. I think it was the cultural differences is what made the whole thing seem more intresting. In other words, we had a whole lot more to share and teach each other than I normally would with someone of my own race. While I know these things are fleeting, I’m still quite intriuged. Yet, I’m feeling somewhat guilty here. Where is the moral compass on this one? ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2006, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-white-girls-please/346250/2 "2006-02-27T01:44:59Z")
Sure you can specify whatever you’d like to, folks routinely screen for non-smokers, virgins, 27 year olds, particular incomes or weight or height…race is pretty commonly included in Stuff People Screen For. However, IMHO, blatantly stating “Only X may apply” pings my ick meter, anyone that appears more interested in dating a type rather than individuals weirds me out. You can always choose to contact/reply to only those who meet your criteria, but stating it bluntly might not benefit you. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Understander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3da27b/32.png) [@The\_Understander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Understander)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2006, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-white-girls-please/346250/3 "2006-02-27T01:45:28Z")
Where ever you want it to be. You have the right to specify what you are looking for, so long as you’re not casting aspersions on what someone else chooses to do. The heart wants what it wants, man. Hey, send a few my way, I’m equal-opportunity like that! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2006, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-white-girls-please/346250/4 "2006-02-27T02:18:13Z")
> [@SHAKES](#): > > Where is the moral compass on this one? Why do you care? Do you date who you like or who you think people want you to like? ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2006, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-white-girls-please/346250/5 "2006-02-27T02:35:31Z")
Most of us have preferences when it comes to things like race, weight, height, etc. and I don’t think that’s wrong. I also don’t think it’s wrong to target your searches on the site to people of the races you prefer. Still, I think that explicitly stating “No white girls” in your profile would be a bit off-putting to many women, white or not. Far better to state your preference in a positive way, such as by saying something about how you ENJOY meeting people from difference cultures/backgrounds and such. I think it’s important to try to accentuate the positive in your profile. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2006, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-white-girls-please/346250/6 "2006-02-27T02:44:28Z")
Instead of “no white girls” you might try saying something like this: “I’m looking forward to meeting women whose ethnic and cultural backgrounds are significantly different from mine.” It’s worded positively, but gets the point across. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2006, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-white-girls-please/346250/7 "2006-02-27T03:59:05Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Why do you care? Do you date who you like or who you think people want you to like? Good point > [@Rhiannon8404](#): > > Instead of “no white girls” you might try saying something like this: Duely noted (as by others) Thanks for that. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2006, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-white-girls-please/346250/8 "2006-02-27T04:30:04Z")
> [@SHAKES](#): > > …Since it seems you can tailor make \*\*what kink of girl \*\* you are intrested in… At first I thought this was a typo. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2006, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-white-girls-please/346250/9 "2006-02-27T06:05:21Z")
> [@Rhiannon8404](#): > > Instead of “no white girls” you might try saying something like this: > > “I’m looking forward to meeting women whose ethnic and cultural backgrounds are significantly different from mine.” Or: Seeking smart, sensitive woman. Must have the badunkadunk. ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2006, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-white-girls-please/346250/10 "2006-02-27T06:12:21Z")
> [@Queen Tonya](#): > > However, IMHO, blatantly stating “Only X may apply” pings my ick meter, anyone that appears more interested in dating a type rather than individuals weirds me out. You can always choose to contact/reply to only those who meet your criteria, but stating it bluntly might not benefit you. Same here. Also, whatever you do - if you have “no \_\_\_\_\_” (height, weight, age, religion, race, whatever it is) you may want to change that before _you_ write someone who falls into that blank. That goes beyond ick to jerk. ---
**Author:** ![Gozu\_Tashoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2006, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-white-girls-please/346250/11 "2006-02-27T08:21:45Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Or: > > Seeking smart, sensitive woman. Must have the badunkadunk. Man, I don’t even know what that means and it made me laugh. Good job. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2006, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-white-girls-please/346250/12 "2006-02-27T12:22:34Z")
> [@Queen Tonya](#): > > Sure you can specify whatever you’d like to, folks routinely screen for non-smokers, virgins, 27 year olds, particular incomes or weight or height…race is pretty commonly included in Stuff People Screen For. > > However, IMHO, blatantly stating “Only X may apply” pings my ick meter, anyone that appears more interested in dating a type rather than individuals weirds me out. You can always choose to contact/reply to only those who meet your criteria, but stating it bluntly might not benefit you. So it’s okay to do it, just don’t be _obvious_ about it? :dubious: You know, I wish people were a bit more honest about who they want to date. Makes it so much easier on everybody else. You’re right in that some people are often too thin skinned about perhaps being excluded but the truth of the matter is, they aren’t in the running anyway so why not just be honest about things. Of course, there are ways to say it politely as in, “…looking for women of similar ethnic background to my own” vs. “No white trash ho’s need apply!” ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2006, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-white-girls-please/346250/13 "2006-02-27T12:28:06Z")
There is no need to specify much of a physical nature. The photos reveal all. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2006, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-white-girls-please/346250/14 "2006-02-27T12:42:01Z")
> [@don't ask](#): > > There is no need to specify much of a physical nature. The photos reveal all. That hasn’t been my experience. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2006, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-white-girls-please/346250/15 "2006-02-27T19:21:23Z")
> [@Rhiannon8404](#): > > Instead of “no white girls” you might try saying something like this: > > “I’m looking forward to meeting women whose ethnic and cultural backgrounds are significantly different from mine.” > > It’s worded positively, but gets the point across. [Eskimo girls only please!](http://www.postcardman.net/130257.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Ensign\_Edison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@Ensign\_Edison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ensign_Edison)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2006, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-white-girls-please/346250/16 "2006-02-27T19:26:18Z")
Be honest, and explain that you are not fetishizing women of color or exotic/foreign women, you just appreciate learning about other cultures. And be prepared for most of the women of color who read it to think ‘Yeah, right’ and move on. Or, just say all colors/ethnic backgrounds are welcome and deal with it on a case-by-case. I know what I’d do. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2006, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-white-girls-please/346250/17 "2006-02-27T19:26:26Z")
Lots of dating sites these days allow you to set preferences about who can contact you. You select, say, only nonsmoking, black-haired, dog-loving, childless, non-white girls from the little checkboxes, and then the smoking blondes get a “sorry, you don’t meet his requirements” message when they try to chat you. They won’t know what your preferences are, because they’re private, but they’ll know that something about them isn’t what you’re looking for. At least that way you can select who you want talking to you, without having to write anything about it in your profile. ---
**Author:** ![DVsickgirlDV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5e925/32.png) [@DVsickgirlDV](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DVsickgirlDV)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2006, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-white-girls-please/346250/18 "2006-02-27T20:00:09Z")
> [@Gozu Tashoya](#): > > Man, I don’t even know what that means and it made me laugh. Good job. 😛 Badunkadunk = big booty > **[Urban Dictionary: badunkadunk](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=badunkadunk)** > > a dick-bouncin, dynamic booty, that defies the laws of physics and reminds men why we wanna be dogs or an urban term used to define approval of the voluptuous curvature of a feminie rump. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2006, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-white-girls-please/346250/19 "2006-02-27T21:08:38Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Or: > > Seeking smart, sensitive woman. Must have the badunkadunk. Although, now there’s [this](http://www.cowboylyrics.com/lyrics/adkins-trace/honky-tonk-badonkadonk-15326.html) which I would assume tends to belong to white women. IMHO, “Got it goin’ on/like Donkey Kong” is right up there with the dummest lyrics evah. But it’s a fun song. ---
**Author:** ![sjc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@sjc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sjc)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2006, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-white-girls-please/346250/20 "2006-02-28T18:11:05Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Why do you care? Do you date who you like or who you think people want you to like? While I agree with you that you should date who you like and not who you think other people want you to like, I don’t think the people who said not to put in “no white girls please” are coming at it from that angle. It’s not that you shouldn’t date whomever you want, it’s that there are other reasons not to put it so bluntly. From a purely selfish standpoint, it probably reduces the number of people (who fit your dating criteria) who will respond to your ad. Some people might think “Oh he is just interested in me because I’m black (or asian or native american etc.)” and not bother. I suppose that’s OK for the person to think if you _are_ only interested in physical differences, but it sounds like you are not. What I’m saying is that while you may have the purest motives in writing this in your preferences, people reading your profile very well might not see that and take a pass on you. I’m not saying they will read racism into it, though I suppose they might, but that they may not want to be chosen based on skin pigmentation. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-white-girls-please/346250.md?page=2)