# No wonder Alabama is picked on so much... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 29, 2004, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-alabama-is-picked-on-so-much/257431 "2004-07-29T13:04:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Stonebow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Stonebow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stonebow)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-alabama-is-picked-on-so-much/257431/21 "2004-07-29T16:17:26Z")
> [@Aries28](#): > > Don’t forget in AZ: You may not have more than two dildos in a house. 🙂 Wait a second, what if it’s just one really big one…but it has two heads? ---
**Author:** ![ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-alabama-is-picked-on-so-much/257431/22 "2004-07-29T16:47:30Z")
> [@Sauron](#): > > Actually, I think the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals is in Georgia – maybe Atlanta. Yep, just down the road. 56 Forsyth Street NW Atlanta, GA 30303 > [@](#): > > Established by Congress in 1981, the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Eleventh Judicial Circuit has jurisdiction over federal cases originating in the states of Alabama, Florida and Georgia. The circuit includes nine district court’s with each state divided into Northern, Middle and Southern Districts. > > In terms of cases filed and terminated by three-judge panels, the court is the busiest federal appellate court in the United States with its twelve authorized judgeships. > > Approximately three-fourths of the court’s cases are decided on the briefs submitted by the parties, while the remaining cases include oral argument. Oral arguments are held in the Elbert P. Tuttle United States Court of Appeals Building in Atlanta, Georgia and are open to the public. Oral arguments are also held in Florida (Jacksonville and Miami), and Alabama (Montgomery). ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-alabama-is-picked-on-so-much/257431/23 "2004-07-29T16:55:29Z")
> [@Mauvaise](#): > > How exactly do they define “dildo”? Because all my toys are battery operated… What about that hand-cranked one that was passed down from your great-grandmother? ---
**Author:** ![paperclip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/cdc98d/32.png) [@paperclip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/paperclip)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-alabama-is-picked-on-so-much/257431/24 "2004-07-29T18:34:05Z")
> [@Mauvaise](#): > > How exactly do they define “dildo”? Because all my toys are battery operated, therefore, not true dildos. 😉 I’m curious about that too, actually. I purchased a _massager_ for a friend of mine just last year at a store in Montgomery. I’m gonna go try to buy another tonight. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-alabama-is-picked-on-so-much/257431/25 "2004-07-29T19:00:54Z")
> [@Skelji](#): > > What about that hand-cranked one that was passed down from your great-grandmother? Dude! You promised to never mention that in public! ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-alabama-is-picked-on-so-much/257431/26 "2004-07-29T19:11:16Z")
Thank God this thread turned civil. I was about to show up and post the address for the 11th Appeals, but I see I’ve been beaten to it. I did hear a cringe-worthy piece on NPR yesterday about the DOH nurses in Montgomery who quit rather than give patients the “day after pill.” No, dear, it wasn’t Jeeeeeeeeezus who held you back. ---
**Author:** ![ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-alabama-is-picked-on-so-much/257431/27 "2004-07-29T19:12:14Z")
> [@Skelji](#): > > What about that hand-cranked one that was passed down from your great-grandmother? Now THAT would be an interesting Antiques Roadshow episode… ---
**Author:** ![Aries28](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Aries28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aries28)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-alabama-is-picked-on-so-much/257431/28 "2004-07-29T19:13:44Z")
> [@paperclip](#): > > I’m curious about that too, actually. I purchased a _massager_ for a friend of mine just last year at a store in Montgomery. I’m gonna go try to buy another tonight. :dubious: Same deal in B’ham. You can purchase _massagers_ at many novelty type stores. Picking up stuff for a bachelorette party a couple months back I saw several displayed next to other items. ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-alabama-is-picked-on-so-much/257431/29 "2004-07-29T19:37:08Z")
> [@calm kiwi](#): > > We might have problems getting guns but we can get sex toys. I know which ones make me smile more 😃 Wasn’t it John Lennon who once sang “happiness is a warm buttplug?” ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-alabama-is-picked-on-so-much/257431/30 "2004-07-29T20:07:58Z")
Yeah, there are plenty of places to get sex toys in areas like Alabama and Texas. They’re just called “massagers” or “adult novelty items” instead of vibrators. That’s why a lot of packaging indicates that these products are strictly novelties. At the home sales party I had a couple of months ago, just about everything had that disclaimer on it, even the sex swing. A box that features photos of naked people fucking and “Sold as a novelty only. Not intended for sexual use,” printed in big black letters tends to create a rather amusing bit of cognitive dissonance. ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-alabama-is-picked-on-so-much/257431/31 "2004-07-29T20:23:26Z")
> [@honeydewgrrl](#): > > Now THAT would be an interesting Antiques Roadshow episode… “On today’s episode of Antiques Roadshow, we’re down in the Five Points district of Birmingham, Alabama. We have a charming hand-cranked vibrator from the Civil War era. This marvelous specimen first appeared here thanks to the work done by Harriet Lubeman and her Underground Boutique. It was smuggled down from Canada, and features life-like detail meticulously carved from maple!” ---
**Author:** ![Polerius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d78d45/32.png) [@Polerius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polerius)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-alabama-is-picked-on-so-much/257431/32 "2004-07-29T20:37:19Z")
> [@Aries28](#): > > My complaint is that I don’t see this pit thread pointing out stupid laws for lots of states. In general it always seems to be “let’s all point out how backwards and ignorant the South is” and that irritates me. Why don’t you mention some laws that “point out how backwards and ignorant the North is”, then? ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-alabama-is-picked-on-so-much/257431/33 "2004-07-29T20:55:28Z")
> [@Polerius](#): > > Why don’t you mention some laws that “point out how backwards and ignorant the North is”, then? 'Cause Yankees have enough problems as it is. No reason for us to pile on. Bless their heart. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-alabama-is-picked-on-so-much/257431/34 "2004-07-29T21:05:41Z")
> [@Aries28](#): > > Don’t forget in AZ: You may not have more than two dildos in a house. 🙂 Finally coming back to this one… _Rythmic squeaking of bedsprings_ _moan_ _slurp!_ _thud_ “Fuck…” “Why’d you stop??!” “It slipped…No! Fido! Drop it! Hell…” “I can’t see a damn thing through this blindfold. What’s going on?” _squeak of bedsprings_ “Shit…the batteries in the blue one are dead. I’ll be right back. I’ve gotta go over to the neighbors’. They’re keeping the purple one for us.” “Hurry! I mean…really hurry!” ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-alabama-is-picked-on-so-much/257431/35 "2004-07-29T22:57:50Z")
> [@Polerius](#): > > Why don’t you mention some laws that “point out how backwards and ignorant the North is”, then? I’m in. In my home state, in the interest of reducing alcholism, so I’m told, it is illegal to purchase just one can of beer. The least you can purchase is a six-pack, and that from a bar. For larger amounts, you have to go to a beer distributor, and if you want something stronger, you have to go to a state-run liquor store. Right now, I believe there are only two places in the entire state where you can buy booze on Sunday, and that’s only come about within the past six months. I can’t tell you how it feels to go into a grocery store in West Virginia, see wine and beer on the shelves, and think, “Ah! Civilization!” :wally By the way, thanks for the tip about the novelty stores! :innocent look: CJ ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-alabama-is-picked-on-so-much/257431/36 "2004-07-29T23:11:12Z")
Possibly an urban legend, but I recall reading a few years ago that here in California, it is illegal to discharge a firearm from a moving vehicle… unless you’re aiming at a whale. ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-alabama-is-picked-on-so-much/257431/37 "2004-07-30T00:11:56Z")
> [@honeydewgrrl](#): > > “Shit…the batteries in the blue one are dead. I’ll be right back. I’ve gotta go over to the neighbors’. They’re keeping the purple one for us.” > > “Hurry! I mean…really hurry!” :eek: Now I know what I’m doing with my night: searching for that tape recorder honeydew’s got stashed in my bedroom. > [@miller](#): > > Possibly an urban legend, but I recall reading a few years ago that here in California, it is illegal to discharge a firearm from a moving vehicle… unless you’re aiming at a whale. Well, this site has “joke” in the title, but is is listing dumb laws, so I don’t know if this is proof, but there are a ton of good ones on this page, including the one above, but they say you can’t shoot at game from a moving vehicle unless it’s a whale. I never realised a whale was a game animal. [http://www.ahajokes.com/california\_jokes.html](http://www.ahajokes.com/california_jokes.html) ---
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-alabama-is-picked-on-so-much/257431/38 "2004-07-30T00:50:57Z")
Laws like this prove democracy doesn’t work. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-alabama-is-picked-on-so-much/257431/39 "2004-07-30T00:54:53Z")
I guess I don’t have the problem with this decision some other people do. Basically, if the 11CA were to declare there’s some constitutional right to sexual privacy, then someone else to try to hide behind it when asked why he’s trolling the internet for 10 year old boys or trying to buy crotchless panties for his goat. I think it was entirely reasonable for the court to say, “If Alabama doesn’t like this law, then Alabama can repeal it.” I’m at a loss to imagine how that might indicate democracy doesn’t work. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-alabama-is-picked-on-so-much/257431/40 "2004-07-30T00:56:01Z")
Insert this “could” where appropriate above. If insertion of misplaced words is legal in your state. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-alabama-is-picked-on-so-much/257431.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-alabama-is-picked-on-so-much/257431.md?page=3)