# No Wonder "It's Taking Longer Than We Thought"
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-its-taking-longer-than-we-thought/4010
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [January 21, 2000, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-its-taking-longer-than-we-thought/4010 "2000-01-21T14:12:00Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 4
### Author:  [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2000, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-its-taking-longer-than-we-thought/4010/61 "2000-01-21T22:15:00Z")
> [@](#):
>
> rip through his silk “Marmaduke” panties
“Garfield.”
> [@](#):
>
> and thick green corduroy pants
Dark brown.
And I was right, wasn’t I, Sake?
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### Author:  [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2000, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-its-taking-longer-than-we-thought/4010/62 "2000-01-21T22:15:00Z")
> [@](#):
>
> And in the forest deep and wild
> The bear has eaten the innocent child.
> The innocent child is not aware
> He has been eaten by the bear.
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### Author:  [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2000, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-its-taking-longer-than-we-thought/4010/63 "2000-01-21T22:19:00Z")
Gaudere:
Yeah, but what if the Bear rips my backpack of faith open, and eats all my spiritual peanut butter?
Wouldn’t I be left alone and hungry in the wilderness of temptation?
I’m getting confused.
* * *
Often wrong… NEVER in doubt
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### Author:  [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2000, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-its-taking-longer-than-we-thought/4010/64 "2000-01-21T22:21:00Z")
:::throwing inscribed potsherds at Pariah::::
Sake said:
> [@](#):
>
> That sounds like platonic plagiarism.
Better than romantic plagiarism, I suppose? 😉
Gaudere said:
> [@](#):
>
> I think it is an undiscovered law of evolution that, given enough time, all threads will evolve into a either a religious debate or a flamewar (sometimes both!).
I suspect you’re right. Shall we christen it Gaudere’s Law? (Of course, this assumes that you accept evolution to begin with, and there are some arguments against that…) 😃
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### Author:  [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2000, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-its-taking-longer-than-we-thought/4010/65 "2000-01-21T22:23:00Z")
Scylla, that’s why you need the breastplate of righteousness, and the sword of the spirit, and what’s that other handy-dandy metaphor Paul equips spiritual gladiators with, Mike? 🙂
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### Author:  [@Sake\_Samurai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sake_Samurai)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2000, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-its-taking-longer-than-we-thought/4010/66 "2000-01-21T22:32:00Z")
andros: yes
Poly: With both Guadere & andros posting to this thread, I think I prefer the analogy of the cave. Those puppets sure _seem_ real.
I have placed the Helmet of Reason over my Hairdo of Moral Fortitude and am prepared to do battle with Libertarian and his Trained Bear of Pseudotheism. Just keep cranking the music box.
* * *
Hell is Other People.
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### Author:  [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2000, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-its-taking-longer-than-we-thought/4010/67 "2000-01-21T23:07:00Z")
Polycarp:
Couldn’t I just flee the Bear on the feet of reason, and climb the tree of rationality, or would the bear eat my ass?
I just wish that I had the Holy Hand-Grenade of Enlightenment , or the .357 Magnum of Empirical Logic. Either one would do.
* * *
Often wrong… NEVER in doubt
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### Author:  [@Navigator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Navigator)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2000, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-its-taking-longer-than-we-thought/4010/68 "2000-01-21T23:08:00Z")
I’m not Mike… but from Ephesians we get:
The belt of truth
The breastplate of righteousness
Feet fitted with readiness (that comes from the gospel of peace)
Shield of Faith (to extinguish the flaming arrows)
Helmet of Salvation
and \
Sword of the Spirit (which is the word of God)
hope the helps!
Peace.
* * *
† Jon †
Phillipians 4:13
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### Author:  [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2000, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-its-taking-longer-than-we-thought/4010/69 "2000-01-21T23:13:00Z")
**slythe** would say it. **tracer** might, if he’s feeling impish. But I won’t. Nope. Not me. I _refuse_ to stoop so low as to make a cheap comparison of Christianity to Dungeons and Dragons.
## manhattan – owner of a +4 rapier of sarcasm.
Livin’ on Tums, vitamin E and Rogaine
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### Author:  [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2000, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-its-taking-longer-than-we-thought/4010/70 "2000-01-21T23:22:00Z")
I go out and run errands for a few hours, and this thread has puppies. How’s a guy to keep up? 🙂
> [@](#):
>
> Yeah, but what if the Bear rips my backpack of faith open, and eats all my spiritual peanut butter?
Do _not_ feed the bears with spiritual food - next thing you know they’d get saved, and a few days later, they’d be right in the middle of this thread. 😉
But we’ve got to fix up your Catch-22 quote:
> [@](#):
>
> “What the hell are you getting so upset about?” [Yossarian] asked her bewilderedly in a tone of contrite amusement. “I thought you didn’t believe in God.”
>
> “I don’t,” she sobbed, bursting violently into tears. “But the God I don’t believe in is a good God, a just God, a merciful God. He’s not the mean and stupid God you make Him out to be.”
Pariah - thanks for quoting one of my alter egos!
> [@](#):
>
> It seems to me that an illusion implies a delusion or insanity, and I think I am probably correct when I say that almost all the atheists have assured me that they don’t think I am deluded or insane.
Not necessarily, Lib. It’s like (a bad example, perhaps) a false memory or something of that sort. Someone who has one of them things isn’t insane, isn’t lying, and isn’t deluded in a general way - but may be mistaken about the episode supposedly remembered. (And I’m not drawing _any_ conclusions about anyone’s _particular_ memories, mynd you.)
_I_ don’t think you’re deluded or insane, especially when it comes to your faith in God; after all, I’m convinced of His existence too. But it’s quite reasonable for nonbelievers to conclude that we’re mistaken about God without concluding, as a consequence, that we’re mentally unstable.
Gaudere: if you’re in hell already, that must mean there’s Guinness there too, so hell can’t be all that bad. Does hell have Bass also? 🆒
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### Author:  [@Gaudere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gaudere)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2000, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-its-taking-longer-than-we-thought/4010/71 "2000-01-21T23:26:00Z")
Hell apparently has Guinness and bass, and sometimes even black-and-tans. And the Hell-That-Is-My-Apartment has a well-stocked liquour cabinet. I’m telling ya guys, Hell rocks!
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### Author:  [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2000, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-its-taking-longer-than-we-thought/4010/72 "2000-01-21T23:30:00Z")
> [@](#):
>
> I just wish that I had the Holy Hand-Grenade of Enlightenment, or the .357 Magnum of Empirical Logic. Either one would do.
The Holy Hand Grenade of _Antioch_ has of course been used (1…2…5! No, 3!), but I think I saw someone put the HHG of _Enlightenment_ up for sale on eBay the other day. Just remember that while it’s very effective against the Bear of Medieval Scholasticism, it’s useless against the Wolf of Postmodernism.
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### Author:  [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2000, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-its-taking-longer-than-we-thought/4010/73 "2000-01-21T23:30:00Z")
I don’t live with you, do I, Gaudere?
* * *
“That it is unwise to be heedless ourselves while we are giving advice to others, I will show in a few lines.” - Phaedrus, translator of Aesop’s Fables
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### Author:  [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2000, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-its-taking-longer-than-we-thought/4010/74 "2000-01-21T23:33:00Z")
Well, hell, Gaudere, why didn’t you say so? I’m coming on over!
[http://www.elnet.com/~sburch/sjbgrin.gif](http://www.elnet.com/~sburch/sjbgrin.gif)
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### Author:  [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2000, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-its-taking-longer-than-we-thought/4010/75 "2000-01-21T23:42:00Z")
RT:
Twice we have spoken, and twice you have cleaned up my references and quotes. Thank you. (not bad on the Catch 22 off the top of my head though, eh?)
How can I repay you? Perhaps only in the Coin of Goodwill. Submit a bill to my E-mail of Anonymity and I will write you a Check of Kiting in said Coin of Goodwill.
Enough of that. Sorry.
Hey, if somebody doesn’t insult somebody soon don’t we get kicked out The Pit and sent to Great Debates?
* * *
Often wrong… NEVER in doubt
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### Author:  [@Gaudere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gaudere)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2000, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-its-taking-longer-than-we-thought/4010/76 "2000-01-21T23:44:00Z")
Unclebeer, if you can hide in a 430 square foot apartment I’d be very impressed. I dunno, though, you might be under the loveseat, I haven’t cleaned there in a while. RT, you can drop by any time; I’ve got to have something that’ll suit your taste, considering I even have the more obscure liquours like cahaça (although I finished off the single malt and have yet to replace it…).
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### Author:  [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2000, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-its-taking-longer-than-we-thought/4010/77 "2000-01-22T00:00:00Z")
But do you have Mayan xtabentun or the guavaberry liqueur from St. Martin?
Nope, I don’t think I’d fit under the loveseat. I guess I’ll stay in my 600 sq footer.
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### Author:  [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2000, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-its-taking-longer-than-we-thought/4010/78 "2000-01-22T01:35:00Z")
> [@](#):
>
> I’m telling ya guys, Hell rocks!
See? I TOLD you guys!
* * *
Yer pal,
Satan
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### Author:  [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2000, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-its-taking-longer-than-we-thought/4010/79 "2000-01-22T02:12:00Z")
Scylla: hey, happy to be of assistance - and that _was_ good, for the Catch-22 quote, for off the top of your head. I doubt I could have done as well.
Which end of PA do you live in? You’re welcome at the DC gathering on 2/5 (see MPSIMS); if you make it down, I should buy _you_ a beer, for coming that far!
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### Author:  [@SINsApple](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SINsApple)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2000, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-wonder-its-taking-longer-than-we-thought/4010/80 "2000-01-22T02:46:00Z")
## Liberatarian: Did you ever think you might be the one in the tent, and that what you think is outside of it really isn’t? Just thought I would try to toss a monkey wrench into the works. . . You know me. . .oh wait, I guess none of you do.
“I celebrate myself, and sing myself, and what I assume you shall assume, for every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you.” --Whitman
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