# No, you are not a doctor! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 11, 2008, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-are-not-a-doctor/467423 "2008-10-11T03:27:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2008, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-are-not-a-doctor/467423/21 "2008-10-11T06:55:43Z")
> [@mcott](#): > > To Q.E.D., you haven’t been on an airplane recently, have you? There is no provision for MD. You have a choice between MR, MS, MRS, ADM, CAPTN, or others among the military ranks. There is no MD. Maybe they should just change the forms. Then take thirty seconds to make sure that the crews can tell the difference between MD and PhD. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2008, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-are-not-a-doctor/467423/22 "2008-10-11T07:01:22Z")
> [@Max\_the\_Immortal](#): > > Maybe they should just change the forms. Then take thirty seconds to make sure that the crews can tell the difference between MD and PhD. You get with all the airlines to work that out and then let us know how it goes. The path of least resistance is for suckers! Let’s change everything so the people with PhDs can be sure to have their titles used on airplanes where they are so rightly needed! ---
**Author:** ![sailor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@sailor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sailor)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2008, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-are-not-a-doctor/467423/23 "2008-10-11T09:03:58Z")
> [@mcott](#): > > You have a choice between MR, MS, MRS, ADM, CAPTN, or others among the military ranks. There is no MD. > [@Polycarp](#): > > Show me a life-threatening situation where an airliner crew might need an expert in Renaissance literature, fiscal theory, or coenzyme catalysis of ketone esters. and I’ll be happy to concede your point. It seems to me the purpose of the title is just for whatever the passenger prefers and not for any ulterior purpose. Why would you need naval and military grades and others? Why would a flight suddenly be in need of an admiral? Seeing also that when I book my own tickets online I am free to choose any title I can’t see how that would be reliable in any way. If I choose to be addressed as “Dr.” by mistake or deliberately do I incur in any responsibility? How about “Reverend”? Would I be obligated to perform some rites if we are in a crash? It seems to me this box is there only to serve the wishes of how the passenger prefers to be addressed. If it were anything else then there would be some serious explanation right there telling you that you cannot call yourself an admiral unless you are indeed an admiral of some actual navy with some actual boats. The Vatican does not count. ---
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2008, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-are-not-a-doctor/467423/24 "2008-10-11T09:05:45Z")
> [@Derleth](#): > > “No, Mohammed, you are not like Hamlet because the Americans bombed your village and killed your father. Hamlet was a deeply conflicted man with cockeyed schemes who ended up killing pointless… OK, you might have a point.”“Cuba is a hellhole and one plane isn’t going to fix things. It would have a much better effect on the world economy going to its destination, thereby bolstering confidence in global travel and reducing barriers to trade. Besides, the marginal utility to Castro of an economist who can’t speak Spanish is near-zero, honest.”“Gee, you look pale beneath your turban. Ever consider eating more beef?” you win the thread! (sorry, **mhendo** …🙂 ) ---
**Author:** ![leander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bcef8e/32.png) [@leander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leander)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2008, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-are-not-a-doctor/467423/25 "2008-10-11T09:14:25Z")
> [@Q.E.D](#): > > Not unless it says “MD” after his name. Idiot. > [@Q.E.D](#): > > As a matter of fact, I have. However, since I’m neither an MD nor a PhD, I don’t have reason to look for those options. Also, I’m reasonably sure that airlines don’t rely on the passenger manifest to obtain medical assistance, but rather will call for volunteers with appropriate medical training because: > > And also, the manifest wouldn’t include nurses, EMTs or others who might also be able to offer qualified assistance in an emergency. This is too funny. Your knee-jerk reaction was wrong, and then you follow it up with your usual Google-fu, which is also wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Badger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/848f3c/32.png) [@Dead\_Badger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Badger)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2008, 9:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-are-not-a-doctor/467423/26 "2008-10-11T09:43:35Z")
This is a profoundly stupid pitting. And I say so not only because I’m 80% of the way to my own deeply misleading and irresponsible “doctorate”. You _know_ that there are huge numbers of non-medical people deservedly styling themselves “Dr” in the world. You make an unjustifiable assumption about them based only on their title, and you _don’t even tell them you’re doing so_, but it’s their fault when you get it wrong? Poppycock. Hemmings and Spoonthwaite in the Fellows’ Parlour will be most amused by this, I have no doubt. > [@](#): > > Maybe they should just change the forms. Then take thirty seconds to make sure that the crews can tell the difference between MD and PhD. Quite. Rather than expecting people to spontaneously change their titles specifically for air travel, travel agents ought to actually warn passengers that they will make stupid and illogical assumptions about their profession based only on their chosen honorific. ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Badger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/848f3c/32.png) [@Dead\_Badger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Badger)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2008, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-are-not-a-doctor/467423/27 "2008-10-11T09:59:44Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > You get with all the airlines to work that out and then let us know how it goes. The path of least resistance is for suckers! Let’s change everything so the people with PhDs can be sure to have their titles used on airplanes where they are so rightly needed! Why is it the path of least resistance to expect everyone in the world to know that morons will make unsupportable assumptions based on the title that they use every day? Why is it so incredibly difficult for the industry with a need to know which passengers are medical doctors, and which creates forms specifically to gather information about passengers, to add the question: “are you a medical doctor?” Are forms chiseled in stone? It didn’t seem too much effort to ban hair gel from altitude, nor was it an immoderate imposition to divest every single passenger of their belt before boarding; how much more effort could it _possibly_ take to check whether someone is, in fact, a medical doctor? A single check box makes the entire problem goes away! And yet somehow it’s everyone _else’s_ fault. Bizarre, and yet totally typical of the airline experience. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2008, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-are-not-a-doctor/467423/28 "2008-10-11T10:13:01Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > Show me a life-threatening situation where an airliner crew might need an expert in Renaissance literature, fiscal theory, or coenzyme catalysis of ketone esters. and I’ll be happy to concede your point. Shit that is a funny post. I used to work with a Pommie contractor who we all knew as Kevin. One night he and I were out on the piss and somehow it came out that he is actually an English Lord. He asked me not to tell anyone because he only ever used his title when it was useful to get people to suck up to him. He said the best places in the world for that were Hong Kong and the US. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2008, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-are-not-a-doctor/467423/29 "2008-10-11T10:27:18Z")
It’s nothing until you have to address them as, “Herr-Doktor”… ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2008, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-are-not-a-doctor/467423/30 "2008-10-11T11:04:58Z")
Fail your PhD by any chance **mcott**? Those who were able to get the qualification have the right to call themselves ‘doctor’. You’ll get over it. ---
**Author:** ![sailor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@sailor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sailor)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2008, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-are-not-a-doctor/467423/31 "2008-10-11T11:20:29Z")
> [@AngelicGemma](#): > > Fail your PhD by any chance **mcott**? Those who were able to get the qualification have the right to call themselves ‘doctor’. You’ll get over it. Not to mention that people from other countries also travel and they may have other conventions as to the honorific they use. I know in Mexico they use “Engineer” (Ingeniero) and PhD (licenciado) as honorifics. I felt weird being addressed as “engineer so-and-so”. As long as airlines do not inform you that the honorific must be chosen under certain rules you are free to choose any honorific you like. Me, I prefer Ms. or Rev. although Adm. and Hon. are also acceptable. ---
**Author:** ![WF\_Tomba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d9b06d/32.png) [@WF\_Tomba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WF_Tomba)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2008, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-are-not-a-doctor/467423/32 "2008-10-11T11:35:57Z")
I doubt that the airlines actually use the title listed on the manifest to find medical professionals in an emergency. I also doubt that **mcott** (being a travel agent, not an actual airline employee) would know any more about how they use the manifest than I do. And I’m sure the practice varies with the airline, as I once encountered a Web booking form that allowed you to choose from about thirty-five titles, including King. ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2008, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-are-not-a-doctor/467423/33 "2008-10-11T11:43:07Z")
> [@Q.E.D](#): > > Not unless it says “MD” after his name. Idiot. \ What about doctors with DO degrees? \ ---
**Author:** ![mischievous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mischievous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mischievous)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2008, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-are-not-a-doctor/467423/34 "2008-10-11T11:59:02Z")
Go to hell. I’ll use whatever honorific suits my fancy. I’m a Ph.D. in biology and I use “Dr.” on airplane flights because I hate the whole Miss./Mrs./Ms. thing. I have been on at least two flights with medical emergencies and not once did anyone approach me\*. Like sensible people, they asked over the intercom for medical personnel. Because, obviously, EMTs, paramedics, and nurses don’t use “Dr.” but would be just as useful in a crisis. In the case of paramedics, probably more useful. So get your damn knickers out of that twist. mischievous \*In the interests of perfect honesty, the fact that I have purple hair may have tipped them off that I’m not a practicing physician. ---
**Author:** ![ASAKMOTSD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/919ad9/32.png) [@ASAKMOTSD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASAKMOTSD)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2008, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-are-not-a-doctor/467423/35 "2008-10-11T12:10:11Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > Or anyone who might have stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night. How about those that can see a foreign country from their bathroom window? ---
**Author:** ![mischievous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mischievous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mischievous)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2008, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-are-not-a-doctor/467423/36 "2008-10-11T12:10:28Z")
Also, I can’t think of a single damn medical situation in which seconds would count, but the patient would still be alive after plane re-routing, landing, getting the ambulance crew onboard, and getting the patient to a hospital. In fact, my EMT friends tell me there are vanishingly few situations in which anything less than 5 minutes matter. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2008, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-are-not-a-doctor/467423/37 "2008-10-11T12:11:39Z")
Guy in labcoat, holding diploma: I’ve got a degree in homeopathic medicine! Loudspeaker truck: You’ve got a degree in baloney! [blasts him with a firehose] Not specifically on point, but it cracks me up nonetheless. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2008, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-are-not-a-doctor/467423/38 "2008-10-11T13:00:10Z")
> [@mischievous](#): > > Because, obviously, EMTs, paramedics, and nurses don’t use “Dr.” but would be just as useful in a crisis. In the case of paramedics, probably more useful. > > \*In the interests of perfect honesty, the fact that I have purple hair may have tipped them off that I’m not a practicing physician.[/size] More useful. Last time I was on a plane and there was a problem, there were 2 MDs: me (x-rays) and a pediatrician. I handled the situation, but an EMT would have been 100 times better. And did the airline say thanks, or give me a bag of peanuts? No, they did not. Screw 'em, I’m putting Ph.D. after my name. (By the by, I know several MDs with green or purple hair, or tattoos and such) ---
**Author:** ![incidental](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/22d042/32.png) [@incidental](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/incidental)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2008, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-are-not-a-doctor/467423/39 "2008-10-11T13:32:53Z")
Okay, so I’m just going to vote on the side that regardless of how hard your worked for your PhD, demanding that your **travel agent** call you ‘doctor’ sounds like an asshole thing to do. The second part of the pitting regarding medical emergencies on planes is just silly though. The degree after someone’s name doesn’t always reflect their ability to handle an emergency - I’d much rather have an EMT than a radiologist or pathologist in such a situation. Chances are the EMT sees similar emergencies much more frequently than most docs. > [@mischievous](#): > > Also, I can’t think of a single damn medical situation in which seconds would count, but the patient would still be alive after plane re-routing, landing, getting the ambulance crew onboard, and getting the patient to a hospital. In fact, my EMT friends tell me there are vanishingly few situations in which anything less than 5 minutes matter. I dunno. I can think of a few. But, in that case, the patient is fucked, no matter who responds because the proper equipment just isn’t available. If someone bursts an aortic aneurysm on a plane…well, they’re probably going to die no matter what. ---
**Author:** ![mischievous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mischievous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mischievous)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2008, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-are-not-a-doctor/467423/40 "2008-10-11T13:44:10Z")
> [@incidental](#): > > Okay, so I’m just going to vote on the side that regardless of how hard your worked for your PhD, demanding that your **travel agent** call you ‘doctor’ sounds like an asshole thing to do. I’d agree, but selecting “Dr” from a pull-down menu of options seems pretty innocuous. > [@incidental](#): > > I dunno. I can think of a few. But, in that case, the patient is fucked, no matter who responds because the proper equipment just isn’t available. If someone bursts an aortic aneurysm on a plane…well, they’re probably going to die no matter what. That was my point - there are life threatening emergencies in which seconds count, but in those emergencies the time it takes to land the plane and get the patient to a hospital will be fatal. I can’t think of any that **first response time** would need to be measured in seconds, and **transport to hospital time** could take an hour. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-are-not-a-doctor/467423.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-are-not-a-doctor/467423.md?page=3)