# No, you bloody well can't se my Green Card, you doddering old fool. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 9, 2010, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-bloody-well-cant-se-my-green-card-you-doddering-old-fool/553134 "2010-09-09T02:48:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-bloody-well-cant-se-my-green-card-you-doddering-old-fool/553134/61 "2010-09-10T00:01:13Z")
> [@TimeWinder](#): > > > [@Martin\_Hyde](#): > > > > You know it’s actually generally incorrect to exchange insurance information. You’re supposed to call the police so they can file an accident report, you should never personally exchange or agree to take insurance information from the other party. > > My insurance company’s instructions are explicitly the opposite: “Exchange driver’s license and insurance information (name and address of company, policy number) with the other driver. Record the license plate number of any other vehicles. Contact the police if damage is estimated to be greater than $500. Do not admit fault, even if you believe yourself to be at fault.” Not only is it the insurance company’s instruction, but also the Sacramento, CA police department’s instructions. This I know from way back in 2002 when I got rear-ended while I was at rest at a stop light. Called the cops and they said, “If there are no serious injuries, we do not respond to traffic accidents. Exchange insurance and registration (for the car!) information.” ---
**Author:** ![Canadjun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/76d3ee/32.png) [@Canadjun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canadjun)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-bloody-well-cant-se-my-green-card-you-doddering-old-fool/553134/62 "2010-09-10T00:35:31Z")
I realize I am in a different country, but we drive cars and have accidents too. 😃 Here’s the [Edmonton Police Service](http://www.edmontonpolice.ca/EPS%20External/Home/TrafficVehicles/TrafficCollisions/ReportACollision.aspx)’s take on the matter. > [@EPS](#): > > Police attendance is ONLY required when: > > ``` > * Someone has been seriously injured. > * Individual does not have documentation including driver’s license, registration or insurance. > * You suspect the driver is impaired > * One or more of the vehicles isn’t drivable. > > ``` ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-bloody-well-cant-se-my-green-card-you-doddering-old-fool/553134/63 "2010-09-10T01:25:55Z")
I wonder how that lady would have dealt with the folks that rear-ended me in Denver some years ago. Mexican tourists with limited English, with a driver’s license from Mexico, and auto insurance papers from Mexico. I have fond memories of them, because not only did their insurance pay off eventually, but after they hit me, they offered me an apple, which I declined, and then he and I both needed to walk across the street for cigarettes. We were both trying to do without that day. ---
**Author:** ![Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carol_the_Impaler)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-bloody-well-cant-se-my-green-card-you-doddering-old-fool/553134/64 "2010-09-10T02:23:55Z")
I think you don’t understand what really happened here, **Spiny**. By rear-ending you, the old bat was trying, in her own way, to push you back across the border. ---
**Author:** ![BayouHazard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d78d45/32.png) [@BayouHazard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BayouHazard)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-bloody-well-cant-se-my-green-card-you-doddering-old-fool/553134/65 "2010-09-10T02:34:03Z")
Here, you have 24 hours to go to the police to report a collision, unless damage is “over $1000.” Which, in practice, means you can’t drive off and need towed off. Sorry about the old bat. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-bloody-well-cant-se-my-green-card-you-doddering-old-fool/553134/66 "2010-09-10T03:16:43Z")
> [@villa](#): > > Asshole frat boys would think it was funny when I bartended. I hope you spit in their drinks. Of all the kinds of people I ever waited on, drunk frat boys were the absolute worst. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-bloody-well-cant-se-my-green-card-you-doddering-old-fool/553134/67 "2010-09-10T10:58:34Z")
[Illinois says](http://www.cyberdriveillinois.com/publications/rules_of_the_road/rr_chap07.html): > [@](#): > > Regardless of fault, a crash report must be filed by the driver of a vehicle if the crash involves death, bodily injury or property damage of more than $1,500. (If any vehicle involved in the crash is uninsured, a report must be filed for $500 or more.) > > [ul][li]Notify the police immediately. Many towns and cities require a report if a crash occurs within their limits. Therefore, if an officer is not at the scene of the crash, a report must be made at the nearest police station as soon as possible. If in a rural area, the county sheriff or Illinois State Police must be notified. If the driver is unable to make the report and there is a passenger, the passenger must make the report.[/li][li] A report also must be made to the Illinois Department of Transportation. This confidential report must be sent no later than 10 days after the crash. The form may be obtained from a police officer or automobile insurance agency.[/li][/ul] So it says over $1,500 - but that many towns say call the cops regardless, so typically they get called anyway unless barely a scuff is involved. I was in an accident where my car had very little visible damage, but the bumper underneath was bent to the point where merely bending it back enough to stop it from (barely) touching the radiator cost around $350. If I’d wanted to do more repairs to the bumper and fix the dent and paint damage in the body, I will bet good money it would have brought the total to $1500. So damage adds up very quickly and may not even be apparent in some cases. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-bloody-well-cant-se-my-green-card-you-doddering-old-fool/553134/68 "2010-09-10T13:16:41Z")
> [@NinetyWt](#): > > Of all the kinds of people I ever waited on, drunk frat boys were the absolute worst. Try being a Black pizza delivery guy and they’re located in frat houses on the Ole Miss campus. A regular laugh riot, I tells ya. ---
**Author:** ![Balthisar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/balthisar/32/2825_2.png) [@Balthisar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balthisar)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-bloody-well-cant-se-my-green-card-you-doddering-old-fool/553134/69 "2010-09-10T14:40:52Z")
Wow, I just got rear-ended the other day, and the native dude didn’t ask to see my FM3 (the Mexican equivalent of a green card). (My accent makes it obvious that I’m an American.) In fact, he was nice, apologetic, and since there wasn’t a scratch on my car (despite his being really, really busted up), I just made sure he was okay and then drove away. Does California indicate corrective lenses on the license? You should have asked her to prove that she was wearing her glasses. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-bloody-well-cant-se-my-green-card-you-doddering-old-fool/553134/70 "2010-09-10T14:48:14Z")
> [@Gangster\_Octopus](#): > > > [@UTejas](#): > > > > If I recall correctly, **Spiny Norman** is Australian. > > Maybe he should go back to Vienna! YEAH! Take your kangaroo too! funniest thing I’ve read on the dope in awhile. Good stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-bloody-well-cant-se-my-green-card-you-doddering-old-fool/553134/71 "2010-09-10T14:50:09Z")
> [@Giles](#): > > > [@Todderbob](#): > > > > Wait, are you saying _foreigners_ live in America?!?! > > It’s worse than that – **aliens** live in America. I know, because I am one. You’re the one who’s doing all the **Alien Rectal Probes** aint’cha. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-bloody-well-cant-se-my-green-card-you-doddering-old-fool/553134/72 "2010-09-10T18:56:48Z")
> [@Shirley\_Ujest](#): > > > [@Giles](#): > > > > It’s worse than that – **aliens** live in America. I know, because I am one. > > You’re the one who’s doing all the **Alien Rectal Probes** aint’cha. This is why we need to capture the aliens and dissect them to make new medicines, footwear and repellents because I don’t think bear repellent is strong enough. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-bloody-well-cant-se-my-green-card-you-doddering-old-fool/553134/73 "2010-09-10T19:10:56Z")
> [@Martin\_Hyde](#): > > I’m not saying you shouldn’t say a word to the other driver. You should check to see if there are any injuries and et cetera, but you need to immediately call the authorities and mostly limit your communication with the other driver. The police won’t normally show up around here unless there is significant damage or injuries. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-bloody-well-cant-se-my-green-card-you-doddering-old-fool/553134/74 "2010-09-10T19:42:26Z")
I think you would have had more fun arguing that you weren’t even in America. “Green card? I don’t need no steenkin’ green card. You’re in Tijuana, baby. You must a been drivin’ for hours without the slightest fuckin’ idea where you were going.” Then look at her driver’s license and tell her that’s no good here. And if you have a German accent, or an English accent, so what? Just claim it’s a Mexican accent and that she’s clearly gone insane. ---
**Author:** ![Martin\_Hyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/47e85d/32.png) [@Martin\_Hyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martin_Hyde)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-bloody-well-cant-se-my-green-card-you-doddering-old-fool/553134/75 "2010-09-10T20:43:43Z")
> [@Monty](#): > > > [@TimeWinder](#): > > > > My insurance company’s instructions are explicitly the opposite: “Exchange driver’s license and insurance information (name and address of company, policy number) with the other driver. Record the license plate number of any other vehicles. Contact the police if damage is estimated to be greater than $500. Do not admit fault, even if you believe yourself to be at fault.” > > Not only is it the insurance company’s instruction, but also the Sacramento, CA police department’s instructions. This I know from way back in 2002 when I got rear-ended while I was at rest at a stop light. Called the cops and they said, “If there are no serious injuries, we do not respond to traffic accidents. Exchange insurance and registration (for the car!) information.” Guess I’ll just be glad I don’t live in California. Sounds like more of an issue of California’s long period of fiscal insolvency has probably lead to underfunded police forces unable to respond to accident scenes. I much prefer the way it is done here, it means a sworn police officer actually makes a determination about what the cause of the accident was. It also means a sworn police officer is there to record what damage was done. If I just exchange information with someone what happens when that person calls my insurance company and says the accident was my fault, and that all kinds of damage that was pre-existing was caused by the accident? Obviously it boils down to a he-said/she-said scenario so I don’t know how it would resolve, but sounds like a mess to me. The only way I could see that not being a huge clusterfuck problem is in states that have no-fault insurance laws. ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-bloody-well-cant-se-my-green-card-you-doddering-old-fool/553134/76 "2010-09-11T01:00:31Z")
> [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](#): > > > [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](#): > > > > What the hell is wrong with her? > > Beck’s Syndrome? THAt’s funny, but wouldn’t it be Dobbs syndrome ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-bloody-well-cant-se-my-green-card-you-doddering-old-fool/553134/77 "2010-09-11T04:34:37Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > I think you would have had more fun arguing that you weren’t even in America. “Green card? I don’t need no steenkin’ green card. You’re in Tijuana, baby. You must a been drivin’ for hours without the slightest fuckin’ idea where you were going.” > > Then look at her driver’s license and tell her that’s no good here. > > And if you have a German accent, or an English accent, so what? Just claim it’s a Mexican accent and that she’s clearly gone insane. In fact, years ago a senile Frenchman drove all the way to Denmark without realizing he had left his country. Try to beat that. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-bloody-well-cant-se-my-green-card-you-doddering-old-fool/553134/78 "2010-09-11T04:46:05Z")
There was a funny bit I saw on TV eons ago. Might have been the resurrected _Candid Camera_, but it may well have been something else. What they did was set up a Canadian border station with costumed ‘Mounties’ who stopped people and told them that the border had been moved overnight. I’d like to see that again. ---
**Author:** ![BayouHazard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d78d45/32.png) [@BayouHazard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BayouHazard)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-bloody-well-cant-se-my-green-card-you-doddering-old-fool/553134/79 "2010-09-11T05:12:31Z")
(slight threadswerve, pardon me, y’all…) > [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > I was in an accident where my car had very little visible damage, but the bumper underneath was bent to the point where merely bending it back enough to stop it from (barely) touching the radiator cost around $350. How do I know you’re not a redneck? Redneck solution: large tree+ heavy chain and hook+ backing up carefully=problem solved. I somehow managed to partly tear loose the plastic cosmetic panel on my current car’s front end while backing up off of a grass verge. After I got over being shocked at how flimsy the front end is, the solution was to crawl under the car and wire the sucker back on with a disassembled brass coat hanger. ---
**Author:** ![Spiny\_Norman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@Spiny\_Norman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiny_Norman)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-bloody-well-cant-se-my-green-card-you-doddering-old-fool/553134/80 "2010-09-11T17:55:35Z")
I never quite know how to respond when my silly little rants cause this much in the way of response, but thanks for the voices of sympathy and support - and I know have a vision of myself walking a kangaroo on a leash in Vienna, which I think it’s fair to say I’ve never contemplated before. Well, the insurance company reports that there’s no contest on the claim, which is of course good news. I guess she dropped calling La Migra on me. (Yes, I’m from Denmark - pale skin, blue-green eyes, standard-issue brownish hair.) Somebody wondered about calling the police. The last time I was rear-ended - on a motorcycle, to boot - LA’s finest informed me that they only responded if there was personal injury(!) I am not sure why that line of questioning got my hackles so raised, yet as there’s nothing in my background that has me prepared to raise my voice to an old lady, it had to become a Pit rant instead. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-bloody-well-cant-se-my-green-card-you-doddering-old-fool/553134.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-bloody-well-cant-se-my-green-card-you-doddering-old-fool/553134.md?page=5)