# No, you CAN'T have a cigarette! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 16, 2006, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-have-a-cigarette/344878 "2006-02-16T22:32:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2006, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-have-a-cigarette/344878/21 "2006-02-16T23:42:37Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > Me: [Patronisingly] “Well do what I usually do in these circumstances is I get my money and I spend it on cigarettes so I don’t have to beg.” :eek: And in an Oxford accent, too! She didn’t just physically disintegrate from the sheer loftiness-impact? I guess when you live there you build up an immunity. 😉 I watched my step **very** carefully when I visited Oxford last fall, for fear somebody might speak patronizingly to me in an Oxford accent when I didn’t have my shields up. ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2006, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-have-a-cigarette/344878/22 "2006-02-16T23:48:18Z")
I’ve bummed out a lot of cigarettes. The only people I won’t bum to are kids, quitters or friends who try to bum frequently. I knew one guy in college who tried to bum a smoke almost every time he saw me. I got fed up with it so one day I handed him the whole pack and said, “You can find these in stores now. The first pack’s on me, but now you’ve gotta start buying your own.” Silly bastard stopped doing it after that. ---
**Author:** ![Cerri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3bc359/32.png) [@Cerri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cerri)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2006, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-have-a-cigarette/344878/23 "2006-02-16T23:56:28Z")
At work, all the girls bum cigarettes pretty frequently, cause only a few of us carry them with us instead of keeping them in our lockers. However, the unspoken standard is for the bummer to give the bummee a buck in exchange for the smoke. Works well for everyone, and I often make 10-15 bucks a night handing out smokes. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-have-a-cigarette/344878/24 "2006-02-17T00:16:33Z")
From the beggars-can’t-be-choosers files: I once overheard the exchange between someone wanting to bum a smoke and the giver - the bummer gets a cig, lights up and then cries out “Oh man! it’s MENTHOL!” So, maybe you need to start smoking menthols to cut down on the requests for freebies. ---
**Author:** ![Ensign\_Edison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@Ensign\_Edison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ensign_Edison)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-have-a-cigarette/344878/25 "2006-02-17T00:19:34Z")
> [@gotpasswords](#): > > From the beggars-can’t-be-choosers files: > > I once overheard the exchange between someone wanting to bum a smoke and the giver - the bummer gets a cig, lights up and then cries out “Oh man! it’s MENTHOL!” > > So, maybe you need to start smoking menthols to cut down on the requests for freebies. Oh, man, I can’t believe I forgot about this! When I switched from Marlboros to Salems, I had this happen to me. I started warning people first, and sometimes they’d actually pass! 😕 What’s so terrible about menthol? Though, me, I wouldn’t take a Camel unless really desperate. Always gave me headaches. I remember the first time I saw someone pick a half-spent cigarette butt up off the street and try to smoke it. It didn’t make sense until I was a smoker myself. I never had to do that, but I would have, you better fucking believe it. ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-have-a-cigarette/344878/26 "2006-02-17T00:20:53Z")
> [@Cerri](#): > > ## At work, all the girls bum cigarettes pretty frequently, cause only a few of us carry them with us instead of keeping them in our lockers. However, the unspoken standard is for the bummer to give the bummee a buck in exchange for the smoke. Come on now, you have to bum off the customers. That’s what they are there for, right? Money, drinks, cigarettes, whateva. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-have-a-cigarette/344878/27 "2006-02-17T00:26:25Z")
> [@cthiax](#): > > Though, me, I wouldn’t take a Camel unless really desperate. Always gave me headaches. Menthol affects some people the same way. ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-have-a-cigarette/344878/28 "2006-02-17T00:37:14Z")
> [@Hung Mung](#): > > I’ve bummed out a lot of cigarettes. The only people I won’t bum to are kids, quitters or friends who try to bum frequently. I knew one guy in college who tried to bum a smoke almost every time he saw me. I got fed up with it so one day I handed him the whole pack and said, “You can find these in stores now. The first pack’s on me, but now you’ve gotta start buying your own.” > Silly bastard stopped doing it after that. Oh, no bumming to quitters is essential. I just fell off the wagon and I get by on one to two cigarettes a day. I still have not bought a pack since February 18, 2005. If I had, I’d have picked up where I left off, at half a pack a day. When I quit again this Monday, it’s the one-to-two-a-day habit I’ll be kicking, though. Still not so easy, but easier. ---
**Author:** ![ParentalAdvisory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@ParentalAdvisory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParentalAdvisory)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-have-a-cigarette/344878/29 "2006-02-17T00:41:11Z")
I’m not really a smoker, but to get away from the beggers, bring two packs with you all night long. One which is full, and the other always has your “last one”. Refill your “last one” pack during bathroom breaks. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-have-a-cigarette/344878/30 "2006-02-17T00:55:51Z")
> [@ParentalAdvisory](#): > > I’m not really a smoker, but to get away from the beggers, bring two packs with you all night long. One which is full, and the other always has your “last one”. Refill your “last one” pack during bathroom breaks. 🆒 I’ve actually done that in situations where there are lots of moochers. There are places where all of a sudden everyone wants to be a cool smoker for the night and since they don’t have their own, you quickly become everyone’s supplier. When I lived in DC, I carried an empty pack for all the street thugs so I could go “sure man, here you go… oh man, I guess I’m out.” Then show them the empty pack. Beats getting mugged for saying “no.” I knew a guy who carried a pack of menthols in a separate pocket just for moochers. ---
**Author:** ![Sgt.Pepper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Sgt.Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sgt.Pepper)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-have-a-cigarette/344878/31 "2006-02-17T01:04:04Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > I’ve never expected or accepted money for a cigarette. Of course, unlike you, I’ve bummed enough in my time that I feel obligated to hand one out when asked. Matter of fact, I usually say, “Take two.” > > We’ll see what the responses are like here; I hope there are more smokers like me than there are like you. Yep, I was in that camp. Cigarette karma wasn’t something I wanted to have bite me in the ass if I was jonesin. I think I’ve came out even over the years. Not from the same sources, but there was those that I bummed off often and those who frequently came to me. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-have-a-cigarette/344878/32 "2006-02-17T01:20:14Z")
> [@Necros](#): > > As a side note for non-smokers wishing to observe the strange rituals of the hidden society of smokers, stop into the smoking lounge/area of an airport sometime. What always strikes me is how egalitarian and multi-cultural that society is - step into the smokers room in an airport lounge after a 12 hour flight, and you’ll get people of every hue, culture, language and status just hanging out, sucking down those precious fumes and all scrupulously observing the rituals. One of the best places to see it is in Singapore, when there’s a connecting flight to Dubai: you’ve got stinky unshaven backpackers doing Asia, Filipinos heading to the Gulf to work, oil workers ditto, Arabs going home, itinerant English teachers going wherever, high-powered suits - and they’re all just chillin’ in unspoken nicotine brother {and sister} hood. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-have-a-cigarette/344878/33 "2006-02-17T01:35:45Z")
> [@cthiax](#): > > I was more like you. Hell, the camraderie of smokerdom is one of the things I miss. I got into a lot of conversations I never would have otherwise. I gave cigarettes to anybody who asked for them and never found myself wanting in hard times. Funny how that works. Same here. Cigarettes have always been the universal currency and universal gesture of good will (yes, I know, irony and all that). That’s one thing I do miss about smoking. When I used to photograph in third world countries, offering a cigarette was an easy way to put people at ease, and you’d be surprised at how damn useful cigarettes are when traveling through the interesting parts of the world. I have never ever asked for money for a cigarette, and I have never ever not given a cigarette when asked. (Well, I did have one rule. I would never give my last cigarette away. I would break open a new pack and give that cigarette away. Why? I’m not superstitious or anything. I just like the little quirk.)Then again, I stopped smoking well before cigarettes were $7 a pack. ---
**Author:** ![RyJae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9d8465/32.png) [@RyJae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RyJae)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-have-a-cigarette/344878/34 "2006-02-17T01:42:09Z")
When going to the bars in my younger days I always, and I do mean always, carried my standard Marlboro’s and a cheapie brand to give to those that asked. And believe me, when someone needs a smoke they didn’t give a shit what kind they get. I quit a few months ago, but still find it more understandable to loan a few bucks to a friend for cigarettes then I do for a lot of other things. Its an addiction man! ---
**Author:** ![mrrealtime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@mrrealtime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrrealtime)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-have-a-cigarette/344878/35 "2006-02-17T02:04:19Z")
my favorite is “mind if I smoke?” Like saying “can I bum some time off your life?” ducking… ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-have-a-cigarette/344878/36 "2006-02-17T02:11:37Z")
> [@mrrealtime](#): > > my favorite is “mind if I smoke?” Like saying “can I bum some time off your life?” Then say, “Yes, I do mind.” Sheesh, all the flak we get for being rude and inconsiderate, then when you try to be polite about it… ---
**Author:** ![mrrealtime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@mrrealtime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrrealtime)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-have-a-cigarette/344878/37 "2006-02-17T02:19:12Z")
“can I bum a cigarette?” “No, you cannot. Even though I have a lot of them.” “Sheesh what a jerk…mutter mutter mutter…” “Mind if I smoke?” “Yes, I do mind” “Sheesh what a jerk…mutter mutter mutter…” ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-have-a-cigarette/344878/38 "2006-02-17T02:20:42Z")
> [@mrrealtime](#): > > my favorite is “mind if I smoke?” Like saying “can I bum some time off your life?” > > ducking… One of my favorites, back in the day when we were only just becoming pariahs, was sitting in a restaurant, whipping out a cig and saying “oh no! I don’t mind if you eat while I smoke. Go ahead!” ---
**Author:** ![mrrealtime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@mrrealtime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrrealtime)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-have-a-cigarette/344878/39 "2006-02-17T02:30:48Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > One of my favorites, back in the day when we were only just becoming pariahs, was sitting in a restaurant, whipping out a cig and saying “oh no! I don’t mind if you eat while I smoke. Go ahead!” heh heh. Reminds me of “Dont pray in my school and I wont think in your church” or “we dont swim in your toilet so dont pee in our pool”. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-have-a-cigarette/344878/40 "2006-02-17T02:33:30Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > I’ve never expected or accepted money for a cigarette. Of course, unlike you, I’ve bummed enough in my time that I feel obligated to hand one out when asked. Matter of fact, I usually say, “Take two.” Yup, same here. My situation is different, of course. I’m a college student and if a fellow student asks me for a cigarette or to buy them a soda or something, I can generally assume it’s because they’re dirt broke like me. Then, of course, there’s the people who are _always_ trying to bum a free lunch or a smoke or a ride or a bus fare or this or that off you and _never offer something back_. I stop short of spitting on these people. > [@gotpasswords](#): > > I once overheard the exchange between someone wanting to bum a smoke and the giver - the bummer gets a cig, lights up and then cries out “Oh man! it’s MENTHOL!” These people really pissed me off when I was a smoker. I smoked expensive cigarettes exclusively, and if you don’t consider it a privelege to smoke them, don’t fucking smoke them. Because California groups smokers together (“you may only smoke under this sign”) like wild monkeys in a cage, there are several other people smoking too, one of which is probably smoking your shitty brand. “Oh man! It’s a CLOVE! Ugh!” Go smoke a GPC, rat bastard. > [@mrrealtime](#): > > my favorite is “mind if I smoke?” Like saying “can I bum some time off your life?” > > ducking… You obviously want me to give you the rage of 10,000 suns. Sorry. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-have-a-cigarette/344878.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-have-a-cigarette/344878.md?page=3)