# No, you can't use my bathroom **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 7, 2005, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491 "2005-07-07T19:05:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![EleventyOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecb155/32.png) [@EleventyOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EleventyOne)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2005, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/241 "2005-07-10T15:30:17Z")
> [@Uvula Donor](#): > > “pecious” - That means “so spotlessly clean you can eat off it,” right? “So spotlessly clean you can eat FISH off it.” ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2005, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/242 "2005-07-10T15:49:31Z")
> [@surrotobeinMD](#): > > I’ll laugh like I knew what the joke was so as to not appear stupid! and > [@surrotobeinMD](#): > > Thanks! I’m quite naive, gullible and easy to make fun of! I enjoy using the toilet and shit whenever possible! I prefer to shit **in** the toilet, keeping the **on** the toilet shits for group get-togethers and visits to the in-laws! In my spare time I clean the toilet with Lysol products that contain bleach. Welcome to the SDMB, **surrotobeinMD**. I like your outlook on life. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2005, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/243 "2005-07-10T15:53:26Z")
My Pecious! ::gollum:: ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2005, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/244 "2005-07-10T17:34:21Z")
> [@wring](#): > > _sings_ I’m forever blowing bubbles… Hi, I’m Bubbles. Where have you been all my life? ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2005, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/245 "2005-07-10T20:03:07Z")
Perhaps what the OP needs is some reprogramming to alter perception and reaction to ordinary events. I’m envisioning something ala Alex in ‘Clockwork Orange’ with eyes held open, forced to watch hairy sweaty workmen marching in to her beloved bathroom, one after the other, taking their sweet old time pinching a loaf. Ah, me brothers. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2005, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/246 "2005-07-10T20:44:57Z")
Wellie wellie well. That’ll put a right pain in one’s gulliver, right all right. Not to mention ruining Ludwig Van. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/247 "2005-07-11T04:39:40Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > Poor **Sat on Cookie** – the nerve! > Of people born only to serve! > Let them dump in the ditch > They were born in! A bitch > Like Our Princess must always preserve > > The pristinity of the commode > That graces her humble abode. > Let the working class wait > Till they’re home to abate > Their base urges. Respect must be owed > > To the fine sensibilities soiled > By the leaving of shit in a bowl > Meant for daintier rumps > Than some rude peon’s dumps. > Have these beasts simply no self-control? Fantastic! 🆒 Oh and **LaurAnge**? **I** said “classist” and I stand behind it 100%. ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/248 "2005-07-11T04:51:13Z")
So… **Sat on a Cookie** … I can almost understand the smell. Um, for like the first day or so. Said lowlife was different from you, not your normal smell… I don’t know if it’d be enough to switch residences but that’s YOUR call… But WTF are you talking about? Why do you have to “clean the damn bathroom”? Like someone else asked… did he fling poo around? Did he replace the roll upside down? Did he move your jar of potporri??? WTF is the problem??? And why is 15 minutes unreasonable? I’m fairly normal. And I take 15, 20 minutes or so. And that’s not when I’ve had burritos or ANY kind of mexican, or beans, or spicy chinese or any other damn thing that ever “set anyone off…” I’m thinking you’re such a stuck-up, elitist BITCH that you think your shit don’t stink and everyone elses’s is just… ugh! BENEATH you. Why don’t you clean your own carpets, babe! Get off your priveledged ass and do some work! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/249 "2005-07-11T04:52:28Z")
potpourri! I’m such a provincial… ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/250 "2005-07-11T04:59:39Z")
> [@if6was9](#): > > Why don’t you clean your own carpets, babe! Get off your priveledged ass and do some work! :eek: Hey now - I have a home shampooer that I use about twice a month, but sometimes my carpets still have that “Not so fresh feeling.” Particularly if a ‘worker’ of some sort has been in my home. In those situations, I need to hire a professional to really get the job done right. I do, however, let them shit with gay abandon, provided they do it in the toilet, as god intended. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/251 "2005-07-11T05:05:22Z")
> [@Ferret Herder](#): > > To be kind, I’ll let you in on it. The “He doesn’t know how to use the three seashells!” bit is from the Sylvester Stallone film [Demolition Man](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106697/). He plays a cop who was in suspended animation for some reason that I mercifully can’t recall, who’s thawed out in the 21st century to catch some major criminal. One of the “fish out of water” jokes about him is that he doesn’t get how to clean up after himself in the bathroom with the three seashells, and they think that’s just so funny. See, I didn’t know this either. I thought it was a joke (the identical joke, as it happens) made up on the spot by the participants in this thread. I am both enlightened and slightly disappointed. > [@muffin](#): > > Speak for yourself. Seems to me to be missing something. The reading material? ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/252 "2005-07-11T06:44:07Z")
It’s easy to mock **Sat on Cookie** for her(?) attitude, but I have some sympathy with her plight. Without reading through all the other contributions (fascinating though I’m sure they are, I don’t want to get bogged down), my handle on this would be that the man could (presumably the tools were there) and should have a) used the bog-brush to remove his skidmarks b) given the old can of Lavender a good spray c) opened the window and d) put the seat (not the lid) down. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/253 "2005-07-11T07:33:51Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Wellie wellie well. That’ll put a right pain in one’s gulliver, right all right. > > Not to mention ruining Ludwig Van. Have to be careful, though. An _adagio_ movement might make her anxious about the probability that someone in the orchestra was fiddling. :drops baton in the direction of the percussion section: ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/254 "2005-07-11T07:47:59Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > I do, however, let them shit with gay abandon, provided they do it in the toilet, as god intended. 😃 Whoa. Let’d not cloud the issue with homosexual anal-offerings. We don’t know if the OP has designated straight or gay fixtures in her home. Regarding the intentions of a deity for poopage, the woods was here long before man made crappatoriums. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/255 "2005-07-11T08:09:25Z")
So you’re saying that we _shouldn’t_ abandon homosexuals? good times ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/256 "2005-07-11T08:20:42Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > So you’re saying that we _shouldn’t_ abandon homosexuals? Absolutely. Our gay and lesbian friends should be able to work in any home and poop with pride while they’re there. ---
**Author:** ![FisherQueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@FisherQueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FisherQueen)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/257 "2005-07-11T13:28:23Z")
This thread has almost ten thousand views, and two hundred fifty six posts, all saying, essentially, that the OP is a terrible person. Do you think this is going the way Sat on Cookie hoped? I think that if an OP of mine went south this badly, I’d have to destroy my computer and never log on to the Dope again. ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/258 "2005-07-11T13:55:23Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > So you’re saying that we _shouldn’t_ abandon homosexuals? You know, if more people would spay or neuter their homosexuals, there wouldn’t be such a problem with abandoned ones. ---
**Author:** ![Quint](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/76d3ee/32.png) [@Quint](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quint)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/259 "2005-07-11T13:59:41Z")
> [@roger thornhill](#): > > …and d) put the seat (not the lid) down. What’s wrong with putting the lid down? This is offside? I’ve been doing it wrong lo these many years? ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/260 "2005-07-11T16:18:39Z")
> [@Quint](#): > > What’s wrong with putting the lid down? This is offside? I’ve been doing it wrong lo these many years? No, no! Put the lid down, please! After flushing, of course. 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491.md?page=14)