# No, you can't use my bathroom **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 7, 2005, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491 "2005-07-07T19:05:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 17
**Author:** ![xbuckeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9e8a1a/32.png) [@xbuckeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xbuckeye)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/321 "2005-07-13T02:21:12Z")
> [@Tenar](#): > > Please. The ONLY thing that could have made this thread worse was bringing Stephen King into it. I’m here to serve 😃 ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/322 "2005-07-13T02:24:09Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > Hmm…a dilemma about etiquette and class structure. Sounds like a job for **Eve**. Except she wouldn’t come within arm’s length of a thread of this nature I think not: the truly classy person is as comfortable in the humblest hovel as in the finest castle. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/323 "2005-07-13T02:29:50Z")
> [@xbuckeye](#): > > I’m here to serve 😃 If it’s any consolation, my first thought way back on page 1 was “BYRUS!!!” ---
**Author:** ![xbuckeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9e8a1a/32.png) [@xbuckeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xbuckeye)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/324 "2005-07-13T02:35:36Z")
> [@andros](#): > > If it’s any consolation, my first thought way back on page 1 was “BYRUS!!!” hijack warning I’ve always wondered if your username is from The Stand…so…is it? ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/325 "2005-07-13T02:41:23Z")
> [@Tenar](#): > > Please. The ONLY thing that could have made this thread worse was bringing Stephen King into it. Says **you**. Though I’ll freely admit, _Dreamcatcher_ was far from a literary achievement for Mr. King. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/326 "2005-07-13T02:51:13Z")
> [@SlyFrog](#): > > Green Bean, > > I I think you are really projecting your own assumptions and stereotypes onto the OPs text. I will not go so far as to say there could not be classist implications in her text, but there’s not enough there to come even close to judging her as guilty of it as you have. [edited to highlight statement] Add in the sentiment in [her next post,](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=6341095&postcount=3) and the case for classist elitism (or is it elitist classism) becomes stronger. > [@Sat on Cookie](#): > > Sorry, but when a complete stranger asks to use my bathroom, I’m not expecting them to barricade themselves in there and drop stink bombs that take hours to dissipate. I think it’s disgusting. It seems to happen **every single time a worker sets foot in my home** , and it grosses me out to no end. [bolding mine] ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/327 "2005-07-13T02:52:07Z")
> [@SlyFrog](#): > > I do love how various people in this thread have assumed that this some form of disdain for the lower classes, as opposed to not wanting anyone relatively unfamiliar who is around to do a job to take a 15 minute dump in her bathroom (not that it’s right just because it’s not based on class). A fair bit of writing one’s own stereotypes and presumptions into the OP, I think. Says quite a bit about the place. There was a whiff (pardon the expression) of classism, but not enough to make some of the gross generalizations and presumptions regarding the OP that have been made. Well, I think there’s enough to convict her of snobishness on the subject matter alone. From there, elitism is within acceptable distance for hyperbole. And, since she won’t come back to the thread to defend herself, we get to make up anything we want about her. _I_ heard she’s an assassin for the CIA, and was personally responsible for killing Salvador Allende. ---
**Author:** ![uglybeech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/82dd89/32.png) [@uglybeech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/uglybeech)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/328 "2005-07-13T03:03:42Z")
Slyfrog, you have to be extremely credulous to NOT read these two pieces of text as classist: (bolding mine) > [@Sat on Cookie](#): > > Sorry, but when a complete stranger asks to use my bathroom, I’m not expecting them to barricade themselves in there and drop stink bombs that take hours to dissipate. I think it’s disgusting. **It seems to happen every single time a worker sets foot in my home, and it grosses me out to no end.** > [@Sat on Cookie](#): > > I’m sure \*\*people \*\* come to my home and shit all the time but they are not gone for huge chunks of time and leave my bathroom disgusting. The only way you can read this as NOT classist is if you believe her on the facts. She’s had multiple workers come over and do terrible things in her bathroom. On the other hand she’s never had _“people”_ do this to her. (And by “people” she apparently means “not workers.”) Workers are stinky and rude, people aren’t. In another part she makes it clear that this whole pitting is really an indictment of not just one flatulent carpet cleaner, but of workers in general (or anyway a subset thereof). Or even if it didn’t start that way, she’s willing to broaden her attack: > [@](#): > > The workers I’m referring to are in the bathroom for extended periods of time and have left it looking and smelling repulsive. That’s not normal “Ma’am do you mind if I use your bathroom?” etiquette (which I have always been fine with), IMO, and I’m sick of it. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/329 "2005-07-13T03:15:17Z")
> [@uglybeech](#): > > The only way you can read this as NOT classist is if you believe her on the facts. 1. Great username. 2. [PC Overload]CLASSIST?[/pco] 3. So, the only way we can accept that she’s telling the truth is if we accept that she’s telling the truth. Huh? Here’s the thing. I’ve had my house remodeled a couple times. Both times I was home all day (maternity leave & working from home.) I got pretty damn tired of workmen tramping through my house, _taking stuff out of my fridge_, and spending unreal amounts of time in my bathroom, which precluded me from spending any time in my bathroom. Granted, I grit my teeth and bore it, but my bathroom is my personal space. It was offensive to have it infringed upon daily for extended periods of time. I’m thinking this may be what’s happening, but hard to tell without the OP’s corroboration. Certainly having guests over for dinner or whatever is going to be different. They’re not likely to excuse themselves from the table, seclude themselves in your john and take a big ol’ nasty dump for 20 minutes. One does not do that in polite company, does one? I’m pretty sure that’s the distinction she’s making, not necessarily looking down her nose on “manual labor.” ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/330 "2005-07-13T03:20:24Z")
**Mo** , you need to read the whole thread again, I think. Skip over the silly things and the outright flames, and you’ll see quite a few workers (like me, remember?) making some very good points. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/331 "2005-07-13T03:23:03Z")
Yeah, hon, I know. And, like I said, without her corroboration, it’s hard to tell. All I can go off of is my own experience, which was nerve straining to say the least. You of all people know how long a remodel job can take. But it would be nice if she could at least come back and clarify her position… ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/332 "2005-07-13T03:28:38Z")
And we have to admit, some “workers” are pretty vile. I know, I’ve had to work with some and have been in a position to fire others. So there is always the possility open that this particlar worker was not a self respecting tradesman, but was indeed gauche, gross, and boorish. As it stands now, tho, we only have a little bit to go on. The fact that it has lasted this long in the Pit is really somewhat surprising, even to me. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/333 "2005-07-13T03:31:53Z")
Well… some “people” can be pretty vile. “Workers” or otherwise. Some people have no idea that they smell. I’ve been told that one of the techs down in the lab does this on a daily basis in the downstairs washroom. That patients have to use. We’ve bought Lysol, hoping he’ll get a clue but… damn. ---
**Author:** ![uglybeech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/82dd89/32.png) [@uglybeech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/uglybeech)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/334 "2005-07-13T03:33:26Z")
> [@Maureen](#): > > 1. Great username. Thank you 🙂 > [@Maureen](#): > > 1. [PC Overload]CLASSIST?[/pco] You have to be careful to use the PC term. Snobs are very sensitive. > [@Maureen](#): > > 1. So, the only way we can accept that she’s telling the truth is if we accept that she’s telling the truth. Huh? Uh yes. Is this what you meant to say? To reply to what I think you meant to say. I’ll stipulate that if her description of her experience is the objective truth (workers have stunk up her bathroom every time they’ve been there and no one else has), then that part is not in and of itself classist. You believe her version. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/335 "2005-07-13T03:49:56Z")
FTR, I didn’t mean vile as in smelly, sweat and a poor lunch choice can cause that in anyone. By vile, I meant a person repugnant in their attitude and general manners. I once had a guy working for me that would yell out spanish obscenities to passers by (in a hispanic neighbourhood), esp young women. He was good looking, a good tradesman (more or less), but was an ass. I informed him I didn’t want him doing that on my jobsite. He smarted off to me, and it seems he didn’t know I spoke spanish, thus I knew damn well what he said to these poor people, even tho he lied to me about his ‘greetings’. So, I fired him. Because he was acting in a way that caused my jobsite reproach and scorn. If I had fired him because his shit stunk, that would be silly. That’s the point I was hoping I was making. Apparantly I pulled a Scott Plaid, sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/336 "2005-07-13T04:04:32Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Apparantly I **pulled a Scott Plaid** , sorry. It’s happened, hasn’t it? It’s entered the lexicon. Poor child, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry for him. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/337 "2005-07-13T04:19:20Z")
> [@xbuckeye](#): > > I’ve always wondered if your username is from The Stand…so…is it? Nope, although I loves me that Nicky. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/338 "2005-07-13T14:20:31Z")
You wanna hear my take? (Why not? We’ve heard from every other member of the Dope in this thread so far. 😃 ) **sat on cookie** has poop issues, which are not unusual in the general population. A friend of ours admits freely she’d throw _any_thing out that fell in a toilet. For **soc** , I believe her poop issues are magnified when they are _stranger_ poops. I would like to believe that her unfortunate choice of words were meant to indicate strangers, rather than workers, but, as so many people have pointed out, she has never returned to clarify anything, so we are forced to take her words at face value. Oh well. We got **lieu** expounding on poo again, and that’s always worth the price of admission. ---
**Author:** ![SlyFrog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a3d4f5/32.png) [@SlyFrog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlyFrog)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/339 "2005-07-13T14:34:15Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > You wanna hear my take? (Why not? We’ve heard from every other member of the Dope in this thread so far. 😃 ) > > **sat on cookie** has poop issues, which are not unusual in the general population. A friend of ours admits freely she’d throw _any_thing out that fell in a toilet. > > For **soc** , I believe her poop issues are magnified when they are _stranger_ poops. I would like to believe that her unfortunate choice of words were meant to indicate strangers, rather than workers, but, as so many people have pointed out, she has never returned to clarify anything, so we are forced to take her words at face value. I think that’s a highly likely possibility. I think it is also highly likely that the only real strangers who are routinely taking 15 minute dumps in her house are workers. Perhaps I’m odd, but other than the occassional plumber or handyman, I do not typically have unknown people using my bathroom. Of course it still freaks me out a bit when people I know disappear in there for 15 minutes. I guess I think that if it’s not your own bathroom, then it’s not the time to take the long, slow, reading break dump. But again, I’m freely admitting that could just be me. ---
**Author:** ![bordelond](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bordelond/32/150_2.png) [@bordelond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bordelond)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/340 "2005-07-13T14:59:24Z")
> [@Maureen](#): > > Certainly having guests over for dinner or whatever is going to be different. They’re not likely to excuse themselves from the table, seclude themselves in your john and take a big ol’ nasty dump for 20 minutes. One does not do that in polite company, does one? My answer is yes, polite, upstanding people do defecate in the homes of acquaintances when attending any sort of gathering. Making all possible haste and using all means handy to eliminate any lingering odors goes without saying. Dinner guests may well have to #2 right after dinner. They might not hole themselves up for 20 minutes, though. Does it make a difference for you if it’s a 2-minute military poop, as opposed to hunkering down and doing the NYT crossword on the can (given equal amounts of stench)? I’d think the holing up for 20 minutes (aside from medical issues, “aftershocks”, etc.) is more rude in and of itself than the mere act of defecation. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491.md?page=16) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491.md?page=18)