# No, you can't use my bathroom **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 7, 2005, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491 "2005-07-07T19:05:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/21 "2005-07-07T20:12:18Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > I’m with you, sister. A quick leak? No problem. But dumps are reserved for family and close friends. And the friends better be deathly ill. A 15-minute dump? Fuck…the For Sale sign would have been on the lawn by minute 10. I used to know a guy like that. When we came over and went into his bathroom, he would be sure to tell us no dumping. We joked that he needed a “NO DUMPING” sign for his bathroom. I guess some people are just that way. ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/22 "2005-07-07T20:21:31Z")
Oust is a really great product. I’d leave a can prominently displayed in the guest bathroom. ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/23 "2005-07-07T20:25:41Z")
> [@Sat on Cookie](#): > > …The workers I’m referring to are in the bathroom for extended periods of time and have left it looking and smelling repulsive. That’s not normal “Ma’am do you mind if I use your bathroom?” etiquette (which I have always been fine with), IMO, and I’m sick of it. What are we talking about, specifically, here that has caused you to be unable to use your own bathroom. Are they flinging poo at the walls? Shitting in the sink? 'Cuz if we are talking about the normal smell that comes with defecating, and perhaps a streak or two in the bowl, I am just not with you. ---
**Author:** ![bordelond](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bordelond/32/150_2.png) [@bordelond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bordelond)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/24 "2005-07-07T20:28:04Z")
> [@Honey](#): > > **Sat on Cookie** , you and I would get along just fine. I have always been unable to do anythingr other than #1 in someone elses bathroom. In fact, I’ve always envied people who could do it, without even giving it a second thought. Do you know that there are loads (heh heh) of people in the world whose bodies give them, at most, maybe 10 minutes of warning? I mean going from “I may have to defecate sometime in the near future” to horrible abdominal cramping and prairie-dogging in a matter of 10 minutes. Perfectly healthy folks, too. This is not necessarily indicative of illness or some kind of disorder. When you’re body works like that … you learn to #2 anywhere. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/25 "2005-07-07T20:29:25Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > I used to know a guy like that. When we came over and went into his bathroom, he would be sure to tell us no dumping. We joked that he needed a “NO DUMPING” sign for his bathroom. I guess some people are just that way. Yeah…it’s not that I want to be ungracious, but if you won’t be in my house the whole day, you should plan your dumps for other times. And yes…dumps can be planned! Get yourself on a military schedule so you can shit, shave, and shower before you begin maneuvers. ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/26 "2005-07-07T20:34:06Z")
> [@hillbilly queen](#): > > Do you think he enjoyed cleaning your nasty carpet? He provided you with a service, you can provide him with a bathroom. It’s not the same situation. I’m sure that as soon as he pays her $100 up front, $50/hr she’ll be happy to allow him use of her toilet. I mean, I think the OP is being sorta stupid, but that comparison was even stupider. ---
**Author:** ![flight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbce88/32.png) [@flight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flight)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/27 "2005-07-07T20:36:23Z")
> [@Sat on Cookie](#): > > The workers I’m referring to are in the bathroom for extended periods of time and have left it looking and smelling repulsive. That’s not normal “Ma’am do you mind if I use your bathroom?” etiquette (which I have always been fine with), IMO, and I’m sick of it. You see, this is the problem with people today. They go around eating and drinking whatever they want with no regard to anyone else’s concerns. Sure, they have to know that they will pass odoriferous gas when they eat that chili or chimicongo or whatever, yet they do it anyway. People like that really get under my bonnet. Then he goes and lets loose _in her bathroom_! If he knew that it was going to be bad, he should have saved it until he got back around his own kind. People today do not know their place, and the manners they should have when around their betters. Some of us actually take the time to take care of ourselves, diligently watch what we eat, and take lots of Beano. Thus, we have bathrooms that do not come with fans or air fresheners because they just are not necessary. Can you imagine what his filthy little shack must smell like? My God, his maid must spend all day just trying to make it breathable! I suggest you do what I do. If I ever have to have some of _those_ people over, I have the gardener hose them off first to remove as much of the stench as possible. We then have them put on these absolutley _adorable_ plastic suits to cover up their overalls or whatever it is those people wear. If they absolutely have to relieve themselves we have them go on a plastic tarp outdoors. That way they can wrap it up and take it with them. They certainly spend less time lazily sitting around doing nothing _on my dime_ when Jeeves is keeping an eye on them squatting out by the geraniums. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/28 "2005-07-07T20:39:59Z")
Maybe you should follow this fella home and launch a couple of adult sea pickles into his shitter. That’ll learn 'em. ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/29 "2005-07-07T20:41:21Z")
> [@Hamadryad](#): > > It’s not the same situation. I’m sure that as soon as he pays her $100 up front, $50/hr she’ll be happy to allow him use of her toilet. > > I mean, I think the OP is being sorta stupid, but that comparison was even stupider. :smack: Of course it was! How silly of me. Please accept my apology for being so stupid, I just can’t seem to help myself. ---
**Author:** ![bordelond](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bordelond/32/150_2.png) [@bordelond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bordelond)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/30 "2005-07-07T20:43:12Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > And yes…dumps can be planned! :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/31 "2005-07-07T20:43:21Z")
Well, I got the OP’s message loud and clear. If I’m ever at her house, I’m not taking a crap in her toilet. I’ll use her sink, instead. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/32 "2005-07-07T20:45:47Z")
> [@bordelond](#): > > :dubious: Okay…not to hijack or anything, but raise your hand if you have scheduled yourself to take dumps at a particular time of day (preferably at home). ---
**Author:** ![bordelond](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bordelond/32/150_2.png) [@bordelond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bordelond)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/33 "2005-07-07T20:49:31Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > Okay…not to hijack or anything, but raise your hand if you have scheduled yourself to take dumps at a particular time of day (preferably at home). Again … this is great for lucky folks who can hold it for hours at a time. Good on ya. But many people cannot. Way more than you’d ever think … and not all IBS sufferers, either. ---
**Author:** ![yBeayf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/e274bd/32.png) [@yBeayf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yBeayf)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/34 "2005-07-07T20:55:12Z")
I can only hope the OP never finds himself\* afflicted with IBS, Crohn’s disease, or ulcerative colitis. I don’t get this hangup about bathrooms. They’re designed to be shat in. They’re not supposed to be perfectly sterile, delicately perfumed flower-houses of joy and relaxation. They’re for safely disposing of urine, feces, and any other fluid one may find oneself spewing, dripping, or leaking. You enter, you shit, wipe, and flush, and you leave. I personally think indoor privies were one of the worst ideas of the last century. By placing the crapper indoors, it has fostered the idea that the crapper is just another room of the home, rather than a place dedicated to disposing of toxic waste. \*generic “he” ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/35 "2005-07-07T20:55:31Z")
I figure I get about two minutes warning, tops. Heck, if I’d been that carpet layer and **Sat on Cookie** was in there taking a dump herself I’d still be banging on the door telling her that “I gotta shit!” ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/36 "2005-07-07T20:56:17Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > Okay…not to hijack or anything, but raise your hand if you have scheduled yourself to take dumps at a particular time of day (preferably at home). :smack: Well, that’s as close as we have to a raised hand. I can understand needing to go urgently, but that suggests to me that when you sit down, you’re going to GO, not sit around for 15 minutes waiting for something to happen. That said, Sat on Cookie needs to just break out some bleach, clean her bathroom, and get on with her life. ---
**Author:** ![Burnt\_Sugar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee59a6/32.png) [@Burnt\_Sugar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Burnt_Sugar)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/37 "2005-07-07T21:00:54Z")
Another vote for “get over it”. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/38 "2005-07-07T21:03:22Z")
> [@Cheesesteak](#): > > :smack: > > Well, that’s as close as we have to a raised hand. > > I can understand needing to go urgently, but that suggests to me that when you sit down, you’re going to GO, not sit around for 15 minutes waiting for something to happen. > > That said, Sat on Cookie needs to just break out some bleach, clean her bathroom, and get on with her life. Maybe it has something to do with eating meals at the same time every day, and virtually no snacking. But if I’m off my schedule, I’m most certainly at death’s doorstep. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/39 "2005-07-07T21:12:33Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > Okay…not to hijack or anything, but raise your hand if you have scheduled yourself to take dumps at a particular time of day (preferably at home). I envy the regularity of your bowels. Myself, I have no way of knowing ahead of time (like, more than an hour in advance) when I’m going to need to take a crap. Sometimes I need to take one as soon as I get up in the morning, sometimes I’m good until the afternoon. Sometimes, I don’t need to take one all day. Planning my dumps simply isn’t an option. And yeah, sometimes it can take me fifteen minutes or more to finish my business. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491/40 "2005-07-07T21:15:28Z")
**Shat On Dookie** , you are being enitrely too anal about this. Besides, in post #3, you implied that you did indeed give him permission to use your toilet. So, deal with it. What else are you going to complain about? That he removed too much nitrogen, argon, oxygen, and other atmospheric gasses from your home’s interior through his unseemly resperation? That his god damned nerve cells kept on having electrochemical reactions? Maybe you find fault with his poorly done enzymic reactions? All that fucking locomotion, too. My god, just look at how he harmed you! That being said, all I really felt when reading your silly complaint was, meh. I did the above simply for fun as a lesson in perspective. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-cant-use-my-bathroom/311491.md?page=3)