# No, you may not live in my carport. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 13, 2004, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-may-not-live-in-my-carport/234002 "2004-03-13T01:03:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2004, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-may-not-live-in-my-carport/234002/21 "2004-03-14T12:26:40Z")
And I hope it’s not too heavy. Poor bugger’s going to have to drag it uphill. Both ways. In snow. Anyway **Kam** , he’s probably from Sydney. Go easy on him. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Vlad\_Igor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7feea3/32.png) [@Vlad\_Igor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vlad_Igor)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2004, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-may-not-live-in-my-carport/234002/22 "2004-03-19T17:38:51Z")
> [@TheLoadedDog](#): > > And I hope it’s not too heavy. Poor bugger’s going to have to drag it uphill. > > Both ways. > > In snow. … no shoes, and he was **GRATEFUL**!!! Vlad/Igor ---
**Author:** ![Pelleas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e8c25b/32.png) [@Pelleas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pelleas)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2004, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-may-not-live-in-my-carport/234002/23 "2004-03-19T18:26:27Z")
> [@iampunha](#): > > Hell, I initially misread carport as carpet\* and I thought the guy in the OP must have been well beyond crazy:D > > [sub]How the hell do you live IN a carpet?[/sub] I did the same thing and was trying to figure out how you could live in a carpet. That’s what I get for reading too fast. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2004, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-may-not-live-in-my-carport/234002/24 "2004-03-19T18:38:37Z")
> [@Lockz](#): > > A hog rendering plant? Pure decadence … when I was a kid we had to live in the hog!! And hope the hog’s family didn’t notice the extra 42 people living in them!. Living inside a hog? **HA!** In my old neighborhood, your family would have been considered the Social Set! In my family, we had to live inside the worms inside the hog. AND WE WERE GRATEFUL!! Carnsarned beatnik kids! Jazz music! Foreign films! Ether frolics! ---
**Author:** ![TWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@TWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TWDuke)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2004, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-may-not-live-in-my-carport/234002/25 "2004-03-19T19:26:00Z")
Has anyone actually measured the momentum of a runaway Monty Python sketch and the force required to get a thread back on track? ---
**Author:** ![jellytoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/eb9ed0/32.png) [@jellytoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jellytoes)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2004, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-may-not-live-in-my-carport/234002/26 "2004-03-19T19:29:02Z")
Shoes?! We didn’t have shoes! Hell, we didn’t even have feet! We had to wrap our tongues around trees and drag ourselves up that hill in the snow! _SHHHHLUK_ AND WE WERE GRATEFUL! ---
**Author:** ![Diet\_dis-Pepsi-a](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ab097/32.png) [@Diet\_dis-Pepsi-a](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diet_dis-Pepsi-a)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2004, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-may-not-live-in-my-carport/234002/27 "2004-03-19T20:33:45Z")
> [@TWDuke](#): > > Has anyone actually measured the momentum of a runaway Monty Python sketch and the force required to get a thread back on track? Well, lucky you, with your Monty Python. We couldn’t afford t.v., much less a British t.v., and had to get our sketch comedy from A Prairie Home Companion on the radio. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2004, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-may-not-live-in-my-carport/234002/28 "2004-03-19T22:33:09Z")
> [@Diet dis-Pepsi-a](#): > > We couldn’t afford t.v., much less a British t.v., and had to get our sketch comedy from A Prairie Home Companion on the radio. You fortunate bastard. We had to stare at a magazine photo of an old television test pattern and pretend the Indian was making funny faces at us. Compared to that, Prairie Home Companion is freakin’ Ogden Nash. Or, well, _Silver Spoons_, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![BraheSilver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@BraheSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BraheSilver)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2004, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-may-not-live-in-my-carport/234002/29 "2004-03-19T22:52:35Z")
You had a magazine? Well excuse me Richie Rich! All we could do was have Grandpa make a shadow puppet of the Indian Chief. Of course, he was dead so all we had to do was take turns holding him up in profile. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2004, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-may-not-live-in-my-carport/234002/30 "2004-03-19T23:04:50Z")
> [@TWDuke](#): > > Has anyone actually measured the momentum of a runaway Monty Python sketch and the force required to get a thread back on track? Well that’s easy! It’s equal to force created by the wing velocity of a…oh never mind. ---
**Author:** ![woodstock989](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f05b48/32.png) [@woodstock989](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstock989)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2004, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-may-not-live-in-my-carport/234002/31 "2004-03-19T23:51:10Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by \*\*BraheSilver \*\* > All we could do was have Grandpa make a shadow puppet of the Indian Chief. Of course, he was dead so all we had to do was take turns holding him up in profile. My condolences. Was he killed by an attacker armed with fresh fruit? A mango perhaps? ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2004, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-may-not-live-in-my-carport/234002/32 "2004-03-20T00:16:18Z")
The bananas are especially dangerous this time of year. Please fondle my bum. ---
**Author:** ![woodstock989](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f05b48/32.png) [@woodstock989](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstock989)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2004, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-may-not-live-in-my-carport/234002/33 "2004-03-20T01:00:41Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by NoClueBoy > Please fondle my bum. Hmmmm, can’t find my Hungarian phrasebook, so I’ll take that one at face value. I would gladly oblige, but unfortunately I am trapped in the cave of Caerbannog and cannot escape. Does anyone have a spare Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch? ---
**Author:** ![OneYogini](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/b9e5f3/32.png) [@OneYogini](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneYogini)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2004, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-may-not-live-in-my-carport/234002/34 "2004-03-20T03:06:58Z")
[http://store.thundermall.com/mopyhohagrof.html](http://store.thundermall.com/mopyhohagrof.html) SHIPPING MARCH 2004. Specialty Market Exclusive! A plush, farting copy of that most holy of instruments, the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, that destroyed the foul rabbit that bit off the head of Sir Gawain; that defeated the wicked witch of Endor; that molted the… (edited due to length). This plush comes in the original box\*, which includes full instructions. Note that when squeezed, this grenade makes a loud “farting” noise, similar to that of a whoopie cushion. (\* due to there only being one “original” box, all boxes actually shipped are full-color copies made of cardboard)… mopyhohagrofRegular price: $29.95Sale price: $24.95 Now…bring us a shrubbery!! ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2004, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-may-not-live-in-my-carport/234002/35 "2004-03-20T03:21:46Z")
Hijack attempt at post #6 Successful by post #7 Current thread lenght: 34 posts! Now, back to the business at hand… No! I won’t do it! ---
**Author:** ![Tenar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@Tenar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tenar)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2004, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-may-not-live-in-my-carport/234002/36 "2004-03-20T03:39:38Z")
Sounds good, but I’m waiting for the Trim Jeans version. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2004, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-may-not-live-in-my-carport/234002/37 "2004-03-20T04:49:45Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > There was a little timid _rat-a-tat-tat_ at my front door at 10.00 am this morning, and I answered it to this wild-eyed dude with crazy hair. I thought it must have been one of the kids’ strange mates, but he looked even too strange for _that_ I had to admit. 😃 . …and you didn’t panic, grab a shotgun and pump him full of lead? What kind of… _waitaminute_…(notices several poisonous creatures lurking in the background, scurrying around kambuckta’s back yard) you’re not an American are you? …Well right then… carrry on! ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Mook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Mr.Mook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Mook)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2004, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-may-not-live-in-my-carport/234002/38 "2004-03-20T06:44:16Z")
And now for something completely different… ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2004, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-may-not-live-in-my-carport/234002/39 "2004-03-20T06:50:13Z")
No it’s not. It’s not different at all. It’s just more of the same hijack. I’m crushed. ;j ---
**Author:** ![indecisive1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/41988e/32.png) [@indecisive1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/indecisive1)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2004, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-may-not-live-in-my-carport/234002/40 "2004-03-20T10:56:15Z")
shouldn’t we have some frontal nudity about now? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-may-not-live-in-my-carport/234002.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-you-may-not-live-in-my-carport/234002.md?page=3)