# No, you're not writing haikus **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 30, 2008, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-youre-not-writing-haikus/435629 "2008-01-30T19:40:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![vison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e47774/32.png) [@vison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vison)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2008, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-youre-not-writing-haikus/435629/41 "2008-01-31T00:22:42Z")
Haiku purist weighs Glacier heavy on heart, Crushing my spirit. Spring comes, melts the ice, Heart throbs, poetry pours forth. Screw you, haiku geek. Winter frog silent Spring frog sings sweet green love songs Frogs wait for the sun. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2008, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-youre-not-writing-haikus/435629/42 "2008-01-31T04:40:38Z")
Frogs get all the press What about Salamanders They walk and they’re wet ---
**Author:** ![appleciders](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@appleciders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleciders)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2008, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-youre-not-writing-haikus/435629/43 "2008-01-31T06:10:29Z")
[QUOTE=Earl Snake-Hips Tucker] There was an old man From Peru, whose lim’ricks all Look’d like haiku. He Said with a laugh, “I Cut them in half, the pay is Much better for two.” [/QUOTE] _snort_ Do all limericks break down this way? ---
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2008, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-youre-not-writing-haikus/435629/44 "2008-01-31T09:27:23Z")
Hmm I thinks, seven- teen syllables – “Season Of The Witch”? Dang, eighteen. Well, it _is_ a season! ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2008, 9:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-youre-not-writing-haikus/435629/45 "2008-01-31T09:54:57Z")
[QUOTE=Polycarp] A haiku does not mean Seventeen syllables No other constraints [/QUOTE] Do not tell me The number of syllables I may use It’s haiku if I say so! ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2008, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-youre-not-writing-haikus/435629/46 "2008-01-31T12:39:57Z")
[QUOTE=appleciders] _snort_ Do all limericks break down this way? [/QUOTE] There was an old man From Nantucket, who kept his Cash in a bucket. His daughter, named Nan, Ran off with a man; as for Bucket, Nantucket. Had to edit that; May not please the purists, and **Poly** not at all. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2008, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-youre-not-writing-haikus/435629/47 "2008-01-31T14:17:43Z")
There once was a man From Nantucket, whose schlong was Winter Summer Fall ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2008, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-youre-not-writing-haikus/435629/48 "2008-01-31T21:08:37Z")
_Seasons in the Sun_ – Terry Jacks ripped off Jacques Brel, Seventies pop hell. (There’s no rule forbidding haiku to rhyme, is there?) ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2008, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-youre-not-writing-haikus/435629/49 "2008-01-31T21:11:00Z")
I am so writing haiku this winter day so take that. Burmashave. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-youre-not-writing-haikus/435629/50 "2008-02-01T00:32:40Z")
Season my haikus To taste, said the petulant Existentialist. Seasoned criminals Care not how their haikus taste Cover with gravy. Emeril fries squid Season while squids are still hot Cayenne pepper. Bam! ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-youre-not-writing-haikus/435629/51 "2008-02-01T00:48:21Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > Don’t be a haiku… > What’s the word I’m looking for? > Oh, yes, it’s “Godwin”. You know who hated a cold winter’s day? No, guess. Nazi Germany. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-youre-not-writing-haikus/435629/52 "2008-02-01T01:42:06Z")
Daniel Day-Lewis He is a force of nature I drink your milkshake! ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-youre-not-writing-haikus/435629/53 "2008-02-01T01:51:29Z")
Oils well that ends well A poor pun to offer, but What you gonna do? ---
**Author:** ![BJMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@BJMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BJMoose)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-youre-not-writing-haikus/435629/54 "2008-02-01T02:10:26Z")
[QUOTE=ArchiveGuy] Daniel Day-Lewis He is a force of nature I drink your milkshake! [/QUOTE] Once upon a Jan- uary, O, so dreary, I burning your dog! Alas, if we follow the OP, I shall never be able to post this ditty that popped into my noggin several days past: Popeye turns poet, declares to his shipmates: Iamb what iamb Scans well, too. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-youre-not-writing-haikus/435629/55 "2008-02-01T03:15:50Z")
Winter snow freezes the dog shit below the snow – no shit off my shoes Byakko ---
**Author:** ![Triskadecamus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@Triskadecamus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triskadecamus)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-youre-not-writing-haikus/435629/56 "2008-02-01T03:24:02Z")
The first line invites We are lost in the moment, And we see the scene ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-youre-not-writing-haikus/435629/57 "2008-02-01T03:31:11Z")
[QUOTE=jjimm] From my reading about Basho, a haiku is meant to be about an environment, isn’t it? The old pond A frog leaps Plop. [/QUOTE] This haiku scans better in the original (copied here from memory): _Furu ikeya Kawazu tobikomu Mizu no oto._ Contributing my own: Haiku use nature motifs To achieve oneness With local serenity. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-youre-not-writing-haikus/435629/58 "2008-02-01T03:43:38Z")
From a “linguistical survey” and spoken word POV, the 4-6-4 format in English is more natural and reminicent of the traditional Japanese 5-7-5 format. I think the optimal in English is an 11-14 syllabic count. ---
**Author:** ![vison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e47774/32.png) [@vison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vison)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-youre-not-writing-haikus/435629/59 "2008-02-01T05:52:41Z")
[QUOTE=Sternvogel] _Seasons in the Sun_ – Terry Jacks ripped off Jacques Brel, Seventies pop hell. (There’s no rule forbidding haiku to rhyme, is there?) [/QUOTE] There is nothing worse Than French pop music. Jacks, Though, sux just as bad. Car radio on I hear “Seasons in the sun” I hit mute button. How do you say _dreck_ In French? The Terry Jaques Brel Combo makes me puke. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2008, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-youre-not-writing-haikus/435629/60 "2008-02-09T03:26:58Z")
[QUOTE=Priceguy] Not as far as I’ve know. It’s meant to be focused on a particular emotion. Just to prove how different and rebellious I am, I will not include a haiku in this post. [/QUOTE] There is very little subjective emotion in haiku. These are poems of objective nature, traditionally (Nature, as in the seasonal zen poetry of Mother Nature.) I am sometimes wont to call them the Japanese Farmer’s Almanac. However, due to it’s free form and devise to personal and subjective experience, a haijin’s personality and emotive style might flavor a scene. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-youre-not-writing-haikus/435629.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-youre-not-writing-haikus/435629.md?page=4)