# "Noah" **URL:** \ **Category:** Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports\ **Created:** [December 14, 2006, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noah/384172 "2006-12-14T19:49:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Rube\_E.Tewesday](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f0a364/32.png) [@Rube\_E.Tewesday](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rube_E.Tewesday)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noah/384172/1 "2006-12-14T19:49:03Z")
[http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mgopherwood.htm](http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mgopherwood.htm) Since “what’s a cubit” has been answered, let me just ask: “How long can you tread water?” ---
**Author:** ![Beaucarnea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c0e974/32.png) [@Beaucarnea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beaucarnea)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noah/384172/2 "2006-12-14T20:06:07Z")
Two mosquitos… male or female? Somebody talkin’ to me? (psst… **Rube** , are we forming a secret society? All those who get the reference are allowed to join?) ---
**Author:** ![Rube\_E.Tewesday](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f0a364/32.png) [@Rube\_E.Tewesday](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rube_E.Tewesday)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noah/384172/3 "2006-12-14T20:20:08Z")
[QUOTE=Beaucarnea] Two mosquitos… male or female? Somebody talkin’ to me? (psst… **Rube** , are we forming a secret society? All those who get the reference are allowed to join?) [/QUOTE] Yeah, though around this place, I imagine it’s going to be a fairly big club. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noah/384172/4 "2006-12-14T20:50:03Z")
[QUOTE=Rube E. Tewesday] Since “what’s a cubit” has been answered, let me just ask: “How long can you tread water?” [/QUOTE] Ri-i-i-i-ght. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noah/384172/5 "2006-12-14T21:12:31Z")
_“I’ll tell you what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna let all these animals out, then I’m gonna burn down this ark, and then I’m goin’ to Florida or something, because you haven’t done nuthin’, and… it’s raining.”_ ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noah/384172/6 "2006-12-14T22:06:12Z")
Since the column was about gopher wood, I’ll throw in my 2 cents despite no longer having my cite at hand. I read a book about Noah’s ark some time back, and it discussed, naturally “gopher wood”. The theory put forth was that “gopher wood” referred to a construction or woodworking technique, not a species of wood. Simply put, imagine an archaeologist thousands of years from now finding instructions for building a box out of “plywood”, and wondering what kind of tree produced “plywood”. So the idea is that God was recommending a construction technique that would produce a craft strong enough to withstand the coming deluge. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noah/384172/7 "2006-12-14T22:52:22Z")
“Let it rain for forty days and forty nights and wait for the sewers to back up.” “R-i-i-ght!” ---
**Author:** ![jsc1953](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jsc1953](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jsc1953)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noah/384172/8 "2006-12-14T23:19:09Z")
Voo-pah, voo-pah, voo-pah. _ding_ “Noah!” ---
**Author:** ![Beaucarnea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c0e974/32.png) [@Beaucarnea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beaucarnea)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noah/384172/9 "2006-12-14T23:21:01Z")
It’s the **LORD** , Noah. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noah/384172/10 "2006-12-14T23:56:41Z")
Really weird… I was reading the posts about treading water and it’s the lord and all and suddenly I got really sleepy. When I came too I could smell cigar smoke and had the distinct impression that my breasts had been fondled while I was asleep. It makes me wonder just what the hell was in the Jell-O I had. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2006, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noah/384172/11 "2006-12-15T00:33:14Z")
[QUOTE=Rube E. Tewesday] [http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mgopherwood.htm](http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mgopherwood.htm) Since “what’s a cubit” has been answered, let me just ask: “How long can you tread water?” [/QUOTE] Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. ---
**Author:** ![Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kolak_of_twilo/32/73_2.png) [@Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolak_of_Twilo)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2006, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noah/384172/12 "2006-12-15T01:40:15Z")
Am I on Candid Camera? ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2006, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noah/384172/13 "2006-12-15T02:31:18Z")
You want to get it out of my driveway? I’ve gotta get to work. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2006, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noah/384172/14 "2006-12-15T06:15:23Z")
[QUOTE=Sampiro] It makes me wonder just what the hell was in the Jell-O I had. [/QUOTE] Now don’t be putting down the Jell-O. It’s the best stuff around for repelling those giant chicken hearts, especially in conjunction with a flaming sofa. ---
**Author:** ![scottkris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@scottkris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scottkris)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2006, 8:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noah/384172/15 "2006-12-15T08:39:15Z")
[QUOTE=Phase42] Since the column was about gopher wood, I’ll throw in my 2 cents despite no longer having my cite at hand. I read a book about Noah’s ark some time back, and it discussed, naturally “gopher wood”. The theory put forth was that “gopher wood” referred to a construction or woodworking technique, not a species of wood. Simply put, imagine an archaeologist thousands of years from now finding instructions for building a box out of “plywood”, and wondering what kind of tree produced “plywood”. So the idea is that God was recommending a construction technique that would produce a craft strong enough to withstand the coming deluge. [/QUOTE] And I will try to get this thread back on track as well. The New Living Translation translates “gopher” wood as “resinous” wood, similar to what the Article tries to convey. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2006, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noah/384172/16 "2006-12-15T10:34:26Z")
"And he had to keep telling the rabbits, ‘Only two, only two, only two.’ " ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2006, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noah/384172/17 "2006-12-15T11:23:28Z")
“And you let me go out there and bring in an elephant, NEVER told me she was pregnant, so there’s ol’ Noah, standing under the elephant, there, and—” ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2006, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noah/384172/18 "2006-12-15T13:51:17Z")
:: Moderator interjects ::: OK, enough is enough. It was funny for a while, but at this point, nostalgic quoting of Bill Cosby routines from the early 1960s belong in Cafe Society forum. This is a forum about gopher wood. [sub]Yeah, OK, I sort of asked for it when I threw in that quickie reference, but let’s not go too tangential.[/sub]