# Noah's Ark - Factually correct **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 22, 2014, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018 "2014-05-22T17:31:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Lord\_Feldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lord_feldon/32/341_2.png) [@Lord\_Feldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Feldon)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018/41 "2014-05-23T00:36:54Z")
> [@MikeF](#): > > Dino’s too big to be on the ark? Do you think Noah was an idiot and tried to bring full grown Stegasaurs on board? No. He just brought eggs (which are only 18" long). When the eggs hatch the babies are smaller than a horse so there’s no issue with space. :rolleyes::rolleyes: Obviously, there were no dinosaurs on the ark. Dinosaurs never existed outside of the Garden of Eden, because one led Eve to the forbidden fruit and God took away its legs as punishment, turning it into a serpent. (Real argument I heard.) ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018/42 "2014-05-23T01:52:46Z")
> [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](#): > > So the cast stoned those who were without sin? It wasn’t about the animals, God was making sure weed didn’t go extinct! Three thousand years before the first rock 'n roll band! Talk about thinking _ahead_! Far out! ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018/43 "2014-05-23T02:03:58Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > NOAH: Well, so much for the unicorns! From now on, all carnivores will be confined to C Deck! I really miss _The Far Side_. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018/44 "2014-05-23T02:07:30Z")
> [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](#): > > So the cast stoned those who were without sin? I love you and want to march behind you to carry your weapons when you lead a great host to battle. ---
**Author:** ![rsat3acr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a3d4f5/32.png) [@rsat3acr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rsat3acr)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018/45 "2014-05-23T02:32:21Z")
And clearly if the Earth was repopulated by Noah’s family isn’t that incest, the type of thing for which everyone was killed. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018/46 "2014-05-23T03:29:28Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > Oh, and while we’re on the subject of Noah, has anybody heard why the two snakes after the landing on Mount Ararat asked Noah to cut some nearby tree trunks into pieces for them?.. 😉 I’m pretty sure that I shouldn’t ask…but why? I just looked up Mount Ararat and found [real pictures](https://www.google.com/search?q=noah's+ark+mountain&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=y71-U4-WBsbwoATWhoHQBA&sqi=2&ved=0CE4QsAQ&biw=1024&bih=743)of the Ark. Its real, there is documentary evidence. Oh, and the animals just came to the Ark because God told them to. They slept the entire year, and the first birds who didn’t come back still managed to breed somehow because crows are still with us. God works in mysterious ways. Of course there were no dinosaurs on the ark. There were never dinosaurs at all, evolution didn’t happen and God just put that stuff in the ground to make us try to us think. Or something. I’m not sure, but as I understand…its better to believe that God did it as a joke because the world is only 6000 years old, so he thought he should fake some stuff to keep us entertained. My brain hurts now. Living in the Bible Belt can be very strange. Nice people, but very “interesting”. Bless their hearts. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018/47 "2014-05-23T03:38:51Z")
> [@rsat3acr](#): > > And clearly if the Earth was repopulated by Noah’s family isn’t that incest, the type of thing for which everyone was killed. Actually, I once heard one lady on a radio call-in show says, “That law was not given at that time.” But, that was in reference to the question of where Cain got his wife. No, really, I’m not making this up. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018/48 "2014-05-23T03:43:04Z")
> [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](#): > > So the cast stoned those who were without sin? Applause. Just superb. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018/49 "2014-05-23T03:52:30Z")
Old Man Noah knew a thing or two He made them all play ball! Old Man Noah knew a thing or two Because he knew a thing or two, He thought he knew it all! Some say he was an also-ran But he was the original Circus Man! He was a grand old He was a grand old He was a grand old man! ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018/50 "2014-05-23T03:52:41Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > I’m pretty sure that I shouldn’t ask…but why? They were adders, so they needed logs to multiply. ---
**Author:** ![troubledwater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f4b2a3/32.png) [@troubledwater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/troubledwater)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018/51 "2014-05-23T04:00:10Z")
> [@XT](#): > > Because, you know, this would have to be a pretty big boat. Maybe the translation was wrong wrt the units of measurement. Because my back of the envelop calculation seems to indicate that the Ark would have had to be several times larger…probably an order of magnitude larger at least…to house even 2 of ever species, plus all of the stuff they would need to keep them alive for 40 days (or a year, or a parsec, or whatever), including all of the aquatic species that the original authors of the Bible didn’t know about or consider. It’s been awhile since I read Davis Quammen’s _Song of the Dodo_. ISTR that in it he states that the Victorians (maybe it was people from an earlier age, but it’s the Victorians in my memory) did exactly this, redefine the cubit, as explorers brought back more and more specimens of hitherto unknown species, for whom accommodations had to be accounted for on the ark. “Oh see, when they say a _cubit_, what they really mean is a _great cubit_. Those are ten times as long as your standard cubit.” That interpretation did indeed allow them to assume a much much larger ark. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018/52 "2014-05-23T04:23:21Z")
> [@troubledwater](#): > > It’s been awhile since I read Davis Quammen’s _Song of the Dodo_. . . . Just wanted to shout out here: great book! Depressing as all fuck, but extremely well written, highly informative, hugely educational, and damn good. My favorite line (quoted from memory) “Being wiped from the face of the earth must surely be the ne plus ultra of downward mobility.” Quammen is my favorite living science author. ---
**Author:** ![Crazyhorse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crazyhorse/32/31_2.png) [@Crazyhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crazyhorse)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018/53 "2014-05-23T04:36:36Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > They were adders, so they needed logs to multiply. Or they were hoop snakes and they wanted to build a ramp to get aboard the ark. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018/54 "2014-05-23T04:41:03Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > Did the radio mention how they dealt with 40 days of poo? In an enclosed space? Not that I’m doubting or questioning that they did it, just that I’ve heard folks explain the intake half of the equation but never heard anyone explain the outgo half. [Genesis 6, 21](http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Genesis_6#21) " An taek teh f00dz dat all teh ppl An aminals lieks 2 eatz, An gathr it up; An it shall b 4 fud 4 u, An 4 them.\*\* An noah sed thers gonna b lotz ov poopi to shuvl wif all dem aminals An stuff, An Ceiling Cat sed stfu i iz givez dem all rael bad constipashun so dont worry about it. An noah sed k and stfu’d.\*\*" Ceiling Cat said it, I believe it. Period. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018/55 "2014-05-23T04:42:09Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > They were adders, so they needed logs to multiply. Yup. Hee hee hee hee hee hee. 🙂 I love that joke. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018/56 "2014-05-23T04:48:57Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > They were adders, so they needed logs to multiply. :smack::smack::smack: I knew I shouldn’t have asked. That’s actually really funny and all…but I thought I should have complained properly. PS Thanks, I’ll remember that little factoid and forget where I put the turkey pan because my mind only lets me remember so many things. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018/57 "2014-05-23T07:01:34Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > Did the radio mention how they dealt with 40 days of poo? In an enclosed space? Not that I’m doubting or questioning that they did it, just that I’ve heard folks explain the intake half of the equation but never heard anyone explain the outgo half. Maybe there was neither intake NOR outgo, and all the critters were simply maintained in stasis pods for the duration. Hey, if it’s a good enough device for some hack SF writer to get away with not explaining, it’s good enough for the Creator of the Universe… ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018/58 "2014-05-23T07:40:37Z")
> [@Rick\_Kitchen](#): > > In the recent **Noah** movie, Noah and his family just wandered through he ark waving smoking bundles of herbs and all of the animals fell asleep till it was time to empty the ark. So they didn’t need to eat all that time. > [@simster](#): > > ahh - an early form of cryogenesis - nice. > [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Maybe there was neither intake NOR outgo, and all the critters were simply maintained in stasis pods for the duration. > > Hey, if it’s a good enough device for some hack SF writer to get away with not explaining, it’s good enough for the Creator of the Universe… Oh, for fuck’s sake. :smack: Well, someone at least please tell me that Wil Wheaton was in the film, and his character was the one who came up with that idea. ---
**Author:** ![Double\_Foolscap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85e7bf/32.png) [@Double\_Foolscap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Double_Foolscap)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 10:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018/59 "2014-05-23T10:04:47Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > Did the radio mention how they dealt with 40 days of poo? In an enclosed space? Not that I’m doubting or questioning that they did it, just that I’ve heard folks explain the intake half of the equation but never heard anyone explain the outgo half. At the end of the voyage, they chucked it over the side, and named it [your home town] Boom! ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018/60 "2014-05-23T10:38:55Z")
I always kinda feel guilty about buying Noah’s Ark toys for my friends’ kids, which I did after seeing how much my daughter liked the one I bought her (I think I got hers because it was cheaper than a farm set, or something). It’s just a really fun toy. I do ask before purchasing and nobody’s said no. But yay, I am unintentionally indoctrinating kids into atheism, because just like my daughter they will play with those toys and eventually Ask Questions. And the answers shall lead them towards atheism, whether the answerers mean them to or not. > [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](#): > > So the cast stoned those who were without sin? You definitely deserve 100 internet points for this. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018.md?page=4)