# Noah's Ark - Factually correct **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 22, 2014, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018 "2014-05-22T17:31:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Dorjan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorjan/32/12440_2.png) [@Dorjan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dorjan)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018/61 "2014-05-23T13:44:42Z")
The Ark was the world’s first (and largest) TARDIS. Boom, done. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Gedd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gedd/32/4938_2.png) [@Gedd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gedd)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018/62 "2014-05-23T15:44:34Z")
> [@Dorjan](#): > > The Ark was the world’s first (and largest) TARDIS. > > Boom, done. 😃 Largest TARDIS? Is that possible? ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018/63 "2014-05-23T15:49:00Z")
TARDIS: the only thing in the 'verse that can contain a TARDIS. (Fun with recursion!) ---
**Author:** ![Dorjan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorjan/32/12440_2.png) [@Dorjan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dorjan)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018/64 "2014-05-23T15:50:44Z")
> [@Gedd](#): > > Largest TARDIS? Is that possible? Objects in the Bible work best when they are at least slightly contradictory. ---
**Author:** ![JSexton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/96bed5/32.png) [@JSexton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JSexton)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018/65 "2014-05-23T16:46:39Z")
> [@Sam\_Lowry](#): > > That’s true. “Scientists” who believe that Noah’s ark is a factual story, not a parable, could find scientific evidence of a flood, and hope people don’t notice that it doesn’t prove that there was a worldwide flood. Or the impossibility of all the animals being on a boat for a year, then dispersing to where they are now in the world. I love this so much. People trying to find factual evidence of something an allegedly 600-year-old man did. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018/66 "2014-05-23T19:27:21Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > Did the radio mention how they dealt with 40 days of poo? In an enclosed space? Not that I’m doubting or questioning that they did it, just that I’ve heard folks explain the intake half of the equation but never heard anyone explain the outgo half. You know how dogs like to eat their own poo? Well all animals did that back in ye olden days. Basically Noah just hooked all the animals up, with ropes and harnesses, human centipede style. The problem solved itself. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018/67 "2014-05-23T20:21:15Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > You know how dogs like to eat their own poo? Well all animals did that back in ye olden days. Basically Noah just hooked all the animals up, with ropes and harnesses, human centipede style. The problem solved itself. Bovine Centipede? ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018/68 "2014-05-23T21:44:40Z")
> [@hotflungwok](#): > > You wanna make a children’s book about Noah’s Ark with a picture of a big boat covered in little windows each with and animal’s butt pressed up against it and various types of shit flying out of them? I can totally see children being interested in that, I want to invest. No, not a book, silly! A jellybean dispenser. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018/69 "2014-05-23T22:39:00Z")
> [@friedo](#): > > I’m just curious how Noah sexed all those pairs of dinosaur eggs. > > Or maybe he didn’t, and that’s why dinosaurs are extinct. > > Stupid Noah. He didn’t even collect the right quantities! Lousy Noah count… ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018/70 "2014-05-23T22:45:23Z")
> [@DrCube](#): > > I became a Christian because a radio evangelist proved the existence of the Christian god for me. Let me see how it went: > > 1. _Some things_ in the Bible are verifiably true. (Israelites existed. Nebuchadnezzar was a real person. Etc.) > > 2. Therefore the Bible is a document we can trust. > > 3. So when it says “Everything in the Bible is true, directly from God’s mouth” (I’m not sure where it says that, but I’m sure some passage in it can be interpreted that way), it makes sense to believe it. Since the Bible is trustworthy and all. > > 4. The Bible says everything in it is true, it mentions God, therefore God exists, QED. Not just any “God” but “The Christian God”, specifically. > > Any heathens want to refute this airtight logic? Of course. Moses, Elijah, Noah, etc, would only follow a Christian God. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![D.E.S.K.Top668](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@D.E.S.K.Top668](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D.E.S.K.Top668)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018/71 "2014-05-23T23:50:42Z")
> [@rsat3acr](#): > > And clearly if the Earth was repopulated by Noah’s family isn’t that incest, the type of thing for which everyone was killed. Noah’s Wife; “I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you can impregnate all of them. The bad news is that’s because none of them are yours. BTW, thanks for the rescue. kthxsluvu.” ---
**Author:** ![troubledwater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f4b2a3/32.png) [@troubledwater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/troubledwater)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2014, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018/72 "2014-05-24T01:04:26Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > No, not a book, silly! A jellybean dispenser. You mean one of [these](http://www.candywarehouse.com/products/pooping-grizzly-bear-jelly-bean-dispenser/)? This company has a whole line with different animals (reindeer, bull, sheep, penguin, etc). All you would have to supply is an ark. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2014, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018/73 "2014-05-24T05:45:24Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > Did the radio mention how they dealt with 40 days of poo? In an enclosed space? Not that I’m doubting or questioning that they did it, just that I’ve heard folks explain the intake half of the equation but never heard anyone explain the outgo half. Actually many animals do hibernate like bears. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2014, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018/74 "2014-05-24T05:57:13Z")
Actually I do believe the basis for the story is true. A man was inspired by God to gather many animals into an ark to survive a major flood. There is enough evidence in worldwide flood myths plus many artifacts around Mt. Ararat that point to some large ship sized structure. I’ll have to look around but basically they have found a depression in the ground that has a ship-shape that contains many heavy carbon and even some iron deposits consistent with this being the remains of a massive eroded wooden ship. Plus nearby are heavy anchor stones sitting in a village miles away from any ocean. Turkey has even built a visitors center there. Now can we prove this is Noah’s Ark and not just an old eroded cow barn? No. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2014, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018/75 "2014-05-24T06:12:11Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > Actually I do believe the basis for the story is true. A man was inspired by God to gather many animals into an ark to survive a major flood. There is enough evidence in worldwide flood myths plus many artifacts around Mt. Ararat that point to some large ship sized structure. I’ll have to look around but basically they have found a depression in the ground that has a ship-shape that contains many heavy carbon and even some iron deposits consistent with this being the remains of a massive eroded wooden ship. Plus nearby are heavy anchor stones sitting in a village miles away from any ocean. Turkey has even built a visitors center there. > > Now can we prove this is Noah’s Ark and not just an old eroded cow barn? No. Bless your heart. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2014, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018/76 "2014-05-24T10:24:27Z")
Here is one link: [http://www.wyattmuseum.com/noahsark.htm](http://www.wyattmuseum.com/noahsark.htm) I cannot find the best links right now but their are some interesting things like before I mentioned the large anchor stones. Again, unless one finds a 6,000 year old bronze plaque that says “This is Noah’s Ark” you cannot really prove anything. And even then who knows. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2014, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018/77 "2014-05-24T11:08:41Z")
> [@Gedd](#): > > Oh, so then you never even noticed the creation story is in there twice and contradicts itself? Another massive contradiction: The Bible has two consecutive and utterly contradictory stories telling how young David first came to the attention of King Saul. ---
**Author:** ![Dave\_Hartwick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7feea3/32.png) [@Dave\_Hartwick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dave_Hartwick)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2014, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018/78 "2014-05-24T13:27:39Z")
> [@XT](#): > > :smack: Nope, I totally didn’t get that. Thought this was another drive by like the usual 9/11 Truther You Just Gots To See This New Awesome Video things. > > Why is this in GD if it’s a parody thread? 😛 I read this entire unfunny thread just to make sure I’d be the first to tell you that you’re the only funny thing in it, you stupid person. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2014, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018/79 "2014-05-24T13:38:41Z")
To say that, you must have missed Biffy’s contribution (and all the subsequent shout-outs). ---
**Author:** ![Twoflower](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/twoflower/32/22_2.png) [@Twoflower](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Twoflower)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2014, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018/80 "2014-05-24T15:47:53Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > Here is one link: [http://www.wyattmuseum.com/noahsark.htm](http://www.wyattmuseum.com/noahsark.htm) I cannot find the best links right now but their are some interesting things like before I mentioned the large anchor stones. > > Again, unless one finds a 6,000 year old bronze plaque that says “This is Noah’s Ark” you cannot really prove anything. And even then who knows. You’re kidding, right? That link is more full of horseshit than the aforementioned bottom of the ark. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noahs-ark-factually-correct/689018.md?page=5)