# Nobody believes I'm gay. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 2, 2007, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-believes-im-gay/424979 "2007-11-02T05:38:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-believes-im-gay/424979/1 "2007-11-02T05:38:51Z")
I keep insisting I’m gay, but nobody believes me. I’m not a Republican. I’ve never been elected or appointed to a government position. I’ve never been in a marriage of convenience. I’ve never been arrested for having sex in a public place. I haven’t spent my adult life ranting about the gay agenda. All of these seem to be proof of gaiety these days, and I just don’t fit the stereotype. What’s a queer to do? ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-believes-im-gay/424979/2 "2007-11-02T06:32:38Z")
[QUOTE=panache45] I keep insisting I’m gay, but nobody believes me. I’m not a Republican. I’ve never been elected or appointed to a government position. I’ve never been in a marriage of convenience. I’ve never been arrested for having sex in a public place. I haven’t spent my adult life ranting about the gay agenda. All of these seem to be proof of gaiety these days, and I just don’t fit the stereotype. What’s a queer to do? [/QUOTE] Is Liza Minelli single again? You gotta marry her. Pronto. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-believes-im-gay/424979/3 "2007-11-02T09:30:49Z")
[QUOTE=panache45] I keep insisting I’m gay, but nobody believes me. [/QUOTE] More likely, nobody really cares. It’s your business and nobody elses. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-believes-im-gay/424979/4 "2007-11-02T10:57:30Z")
You look gay as a handbag full of daffodils and rainbows to me. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-believes-im-gay/424979/5 "2007-11-02T11:20:42Z")
That’s the job I want: gay tester. “Just step into the back room, sir! This won’t hurt a bit.” ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-believes-im-gay/424979/6 "2007-11-02T11:21:52Z")
“If anyone really cared about your sexual fantasies, they wouldn’t be fantasies” - Fran Leibowitz ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-believes-im-gay/424979/7 "2007-11-02T14:33:11Z")
[QUOTE=elucidator] “If anyone really cared about your sexual fantasies, they wouldn’t be fantasies” - Fran Leibowitz [/QUOTE] Whoa! Don’t harsh his buzz, dude! ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-believes-im-gay/424979/8 "2007-11-02T14:40:51Z")
[QUOTE=FriarTed] Is Liza Minelli single again? You gotta marry her. Pronto. [/QUOTE] Do you have _ANY_ idea what the waiting list is like for that? Larry Craig is “happily” married with several kids and even he’s on it at number 210 or so, though admittedly everybody went up one when Merv died. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-believes-im-gay/424979/9 "2007-11-02T14:40:59Z")
Well you’ve never sucked _my_ dick. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-believes-im-gay/424979/10 "2007-11-02T14:42:00Z")
[QUOTE=matt\_mcl] That’s the job I want: gay tester. “Just step into the back room, sir! This won’t hurt a bit.” [/QUOTE] May want to re-think that. Three words: Wilford Brimley: bicurious. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-believes-im-gay/424979/11 "2007-11-02T14:57:16Z")
[QUOTE=Sampiro] May want to re-think that. Three words: Wilford Brimley: bicurious. [/QUOTE] [Oh, dear Og, no!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=3070858&postcount=38) You’re welcome. Robin ---
**Author:** ![brownie55](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f14d63/32.png) [@brownie55](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brownie55)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-believes-im-gay/424979/12 "2007-11-02T15:35:18Z")
[QUOTE=matt\_mcl] That’s the job I want: gay tester. “Just step into the back room, sir! This won’t hurt a bit.” [/QUOTE] Can you tell me the criteria so I can study for the test? And, oh, yeah, is passing the test gay or not? ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-believes-im-gay/424979/13 "2007-11-02T15:38:21Z")
[QUOTE=brownie55] Can you tell me the criteria so I can study for the test? And, oh, yeah, is passing the test gay or not? [/QUOTE] Naturally there’s the oral exam, which is where we test your knowledge of showtunes. (what did you think the oral exam was ya perv??) ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-believes-im-gay/424979/14 "2007-11-02T15:40:31Z")
[QUOTE=panache45] I keep insisting I’m gay [/QUOTE] That there’s your problem. Deny deny deny. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-believes-im-gay/424979/15 "2007-11-02T15:45:43Z")
I think [this cartoon](http://www.salon.com/comics/boll/2007/10/25/boll/index.html?source=rss&aim=yahoo-salon) might have some relevance to this thread. I would suggest going with the American flag pin on the lapel unless you think that would be TOO flamboyant. ---
**Author:** ![GaryM](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garym/32/241_2.png) [@GaryM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaryM)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-believes-im-gay/424979/16 "2007-11-02T15:50:46Z")
Are you a “Friend of Dorothy’s?” ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-believes-im-gay/424979/17 "2007-11-02T15:53:01Z")
Would you describe Bill Clinton as a “naughty boy?” Try that in public a few times and people’s views may change. ---
**Author:** ![qubed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f07891/32.png) [@qubed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/qubed)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-believes-im-gay/424979/18 "2007-11-02T16:06:27Z")
[QUOTE=Cat Fight] That there’s your problem. Deny deny deny. [/QUOTE] Yeah, tell me about it. I have the opposite problem. No one believes I’m straight. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-believes-im-gay/424979/19 "2007-11-02T16:43:03Z")
[QUOTE=panache45] I keep insisting I’m gay, but nobody believes me. [/QUOTE] Try picking a flashy username like “panache.” Sailboat ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-believes-im-gay/424979/20 "2007-11-02T16:46:24Z")
Or, if you’re black, “ganache.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-believes-im-gay/424979.md?page=2)