# Nobody cares about your fucking cats! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 8, 2003, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232 "2003-04-08T03:21:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![hazel-rah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/73ab20/32.png) [@hazel-rah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hazel-rah)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232/21 "2003-04-08T05:29:02Z")
_I_ care about their fucking cats. ---
**Author:** ![truthbot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@truthbot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/truthbot)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232/22 "2003-04-08T08:01:25Z")
I post about my cats, my children _and_ my grandchildren. I’m your worst nightmare. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232/23 "2003-04-08T09:27:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Amp \* > \*\*Who let the dogs out? \*\* Ooh, you know what? Jon Stewart just broke this story wide open a few days ago. Apparantly some guy in … South or North Carolina … around there, anyway he’s been arrested for letting several dozen dogs out of the local kennel. So it was him. ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232/24 "2003-04-08T10:18:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fern Forest \* > \*\*… Jon Stewart … \*\* You’re wrong. It was on the SNL News. I believe Tina Fey had the story. ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232/25 "2003-04-08T11:09:14Z")
I care ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232/26 "2003-04-08T11:33:29Z")
Poll: Who cares about cats? Who cares about j\_kat\_251? ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232/27 "2003-04-08T11:41:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Muffin \* > \*\*Poll: > > Who cares about j\_kat\_251? \*\* I do. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232/28 "2003-04-08T11:49:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by j\_kat\_251 \* > **Hey! Wouldn’t it be great if a cat could use a computer? AHAHAHA THAT’S THE BEST IDEA I’VE EVER FORMULATED** I believe one of these complaints might be a dig at a thread that I started. Well sir, I’ll have you know, that you’re **fucking** correct. It was in fact the **sappiest motherfucking thread** I’ve ever started, and I deserve nothing but your disdain and approbation. I entirely **fucking** agree with you. And the cruel **jackboot** of **Coldfire** cruelly **stamped** down and **killed** my barely-breathing thread before it could get any more **fucking sappy**. Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I shall attempt not be such a **pathetic simpering bastard** ever again. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232/29 "2003-04-08T11:50:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by techchick68 \* > \*\*This has to be one of the lamest, most stupid rants I have seen on here. > > Fer fucks sakes, get with the program and bitch about the war, for or against. > > This is just fucking stupid. > > \< rolls eyes \> \*\* What does your cat think about the war? ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232/30 "2003-04-08T11:53:07Z")
My cat’s breath smells like cat food. ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232/31 "2003-04-08T12:17:49Z")
Hey, **j\_kat\_251** , [My cat hates you.](http://www.mycathatesyou.com/) ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232/32 "2003-04-08T12:30:45Z")
My cat just does the neatest things, but thanks to feline discriminators like **j\_kat\_251** it is no longer safe to discuss them in public or on the internet. [chant] Hey Hey, Hey Ho, the kitty oppression has got to go! [/chant] ---
**Author:** ![smam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/46a35a/32.png) [@smam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smam)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232/33 "2003-04-08T12:34:27Z")
I have to say that I also hate cat threads, I may have this wrong but they just seem to be one upmanship about who has the weirdest cat. Its like the OP will be something like " Hey my cat just loves macaroni, can’t get enough of the stuff. How weird (but also delightfully cute and eccentric) is that? Then the next post will be " Oh yeah? Well my cat likes to sit in a darkened room for days at a time just gently rocking and occasionally writing stuff on the wall about Satan with his own shit" 3rd post " My cat used to be a highly thought of stand-up comedian, but since he got his own chat-show there has been a lot of talk about how he has sold out and stuff, and it has put him right off his cigarettes" And I can just imagine the other cat-owner-would-be-posters just looking at their cats, getting ready to type and saying to the cat " C’mon you son of a bitch, do something eccentric and cute instead of just doing normal type things, normally I would post about how my cat is convinced he is a dog but these other poster have already topped that, hmmmn maybe if I smoke a joint I can make myself believe that you have an avid interest in the Napolionic wars or something" I have a dog, he is greedy, medium sized and cute.What else do you need to know? ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232/34 "2003-04-08T12:59:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by smam \* > \*\*I have a dog, he is greedy, medium sized and cute.What else do you need to know? \*\* You just _had_ to get your dog in, eh? Ickle wickle doggie’s so gweedy, but he’s a lovwy medium-sized cutey wooty. Ahhhhhh. You simpering dog-lovers make me puke. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232/35 "2003-04-08T13:17:21Z")
I love my cats. But they’re all dead, now. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232/36 "2003-04-08T13:24:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bryan Ekers \* > \*\*I love my cats. > > But they’re all dead, now. \*\* Then maybe they would have liked [this poem](http://www.felineterritory.co.uk/poems009.html). ---
**Author:** ![moriah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@moriah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moriah)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232/37 "2003-04-08T13:49:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by j\_kat\_251 \* > **You know what, on second thought, I’m probably wrong.** You come out spitting vitriol against cat people and then you back off from it?! What a lame rant. If you’re going to piss off catomaniacs, then stick to your guns. This thread doesn’t deserve the Pit… send it to IMHO or Great Debates. Unless we get full mental breakdown or hysteric rejoinders with Hitleresque metaphors, this thread should be closed. ## War. If your lap wasn’t the warmest thing in the room, little Mr. Snuggles wouldn’t have anything to do with you, you co-dependent, kitty-slapped, pussy-whipped, whisker worshipper! ---
**Author:** ![Skerri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Skerri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skerri)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232/38 "2003-04-08T14:00:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fern Forest \* > \*\*…Apparantly some guy in … South or North Carolina … around there, anyway he’s been arrested for letting several dozen dogs out of the local kennel. So it was him. \*\* That would be in Charleston, South Carolina. At the SPCA just a few scant miles from where I live. I had no idea it made SNL. That’s crazy. Oh, and **j\_kat** , my cats **Benvolio The Lardbutt** and **Gomez the SuperSpaz** think you’re a nice person… FOR THEM TO POOP ON! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232/39 "2003-04-08T14:01:25Z")
Don’t piss off my cat. I mean it. I won’t take responsibility for what he does when he reads this rant. This is in black and white, so I’m protected against the law. Then again, he’ll probably just roll over, purr, and lick my face. Ava ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232/40 "2003-04-08T14:05:56Z")
Well, I tend to agree with the OP. I also do not care about anyone’s fucking cats. I much prefer dogs to cats. Also, am allergic to cats. However, I am grateful that the cat-people tend to label their threads appropriately, so with my superior intellect, I am able to avoid reading about your goddamn stupid obnoxious sneeze-inducing animals. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232.md?page=3)