# Nobody cares about your fucking cats! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 8, 2003, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232 "2003-04-08T03:21:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2003, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232/61 "2003-04-09T00:00:13Z")
We need more fucking WAR THREADS!!! More I tell you! BTW jjimm, the sin ging animated kitty thread was the sappiest you ever started. All I need (desparately…) Is my star to come… \*me off to look at the animated singing Kitty. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2003, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232/62 "2003-04-09T00:09:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by fessie \* > \*\*[www.ratemykitten.com](http://www.ratemykitten.com) > > I dare you \*\* Bottom 20, Damn, no cats. I really wanted to see some butt-ugly cats. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2003, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232/63 "2003-04-09T00:58:27Z")
[Do not click.](http://www.tbaytel.net/culpeper/kittens_in_box_email.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Ana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a6a055/32.png) [@Ana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ana)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2003, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232/64 "2003-04-09T01:24:37Z")
Thread j\_kat\_251 Member Registered: Jul 2002 Location: Posts: 326 Nobody cares about your fucking cats! It’s getting to be like [www.mindlessmommycentral.com](http://www.mindlessmommycentral.com) here on the SDMB, except instead of boring pointless tales about CUTESY WUTESY LIDDLE KIDDIEWOOS it’s bullshit about cats. Hey! Wouldn’t it be great if a cat could use a computer? AHAHAHA THAT’S THE BEST IDEA I’VE EVER FORMULATED. Now I’ll start a few dozen threads about how my cat is great and what he would say if he could talk. I’ll tell you what your cat would say, you crazy bitch, he’d say “GET A FUCKING LIFE”. Ya know, I am a _huge_ cat fan and have even loved a few cats like crazy in my life – BUT I must agree with you to a point. There is a time and place for animal worship. (i.e…please choose your pulpit well…😃 ) Example: my brothers piss me off to the fucking highest with their Elmira-ing the two cats they have(any Animaniac fans out there?) One of their felines has severe allergies, but when TweedleDum (bro # 1) calls me, it’s “Oh, BOY, Fluffy is such a ~sweetie~weetie~wunder~under~buder~beauti~woody~baby~cattie~watty!” After several minutes of this, and after I am done projectile vomiting in many directions, I ask Bro # 1 if Fluffy has gotten his meds for the night. Well, of course _not_! Bro # 1 is too busy screwing around to do what’s fucking right by the cat, but will stay on the goddanmed phone, interrupting and ignoring me to blathering about how Fluffy’s tail is ~Boo-ti-ful!~ But it gets better.(Dysentery Is On The Way, Folks!) My other brother, the 50-yr-old-infant, blames me, the slightly successful one, for not paying for their animals health care. Bro #2 wanders around, lamenting the “bad” fate and “poor” health of the cats(which their local vet has dismissed). I just want to scream, “Listen, you self-absorbed, childish, baby-boomer, fuckup: stop stuffing the cats with canned cat food, especially since you never learned how to show a creature love, unless you subbed food in it’s place. Try _playing_ with them instead of running to the fridge every time they meow! I am SICK of your complaining. Hell, the cats are more mature than the both of you!” Ahem. Okay. _Now_ I start therapy. Ana ---
**Author:** ![moriah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@moriah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moriah)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2003, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232/65 "2003-04-09T01:55:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by sperfur \* > **Here’s a picture of my [babies](http://www.timepieceband.com/house/pool.html). Aren’t they the cutest, sweetest kitties you’ve ever seen?** Actually, I only see them in the first picture. Where are they in the other ones? At the bottom of the pool? ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2003, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232/66 "2003-04-09T02:09:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ana \* > \*\*Ahem. Okay. _Now_ I start therapy. > Ana \*\* Here’s some info to help you chose your therapy cat. [http://www.netpets.com/cats/reference/info/ther\_cats.html](http://www.netpets.com/cats/reference/info/ther_cats.html) ---
**Author:** ![5-HT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/f19dbf/32.png) [@5-HT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5-HT)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2003, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232/67 "2003-04-09T15:15:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by fessie \* > \*\*[www.ratemykitten.com](http://www.ratemykitten.com) > > I dare you \*\* I rated all those cats as low as possible as an expression of the rage I feel toward my roomate’s cat. all it does is eat, sleep, piss, and scratch shit. I fucking hate cats. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2003, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232/68 "2003-04-09T15:28:36Z")
My cat’s breath smells like cat butt. ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2003, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232/69 "2003-04-09T17:13:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lieu \* > \*\*My cat’s breath smells like cat butt. \*\* Put on your glasses and turn the cat around. Ava ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232/70 "2003-04-10T00:35:21Z")
> **[My Cat Hates You dot com v4.0.1 (Swiss Siamese)](http://www.mycathatesyou.com/)** > > The original cat humor website. [He does, too.](http://www.geocities.com/csquaredfunderburk/toysaga) ---
**Author:** ![Ana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a6a055/32.png) [@Ana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ana)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232/71 "2003-04-10T02:21:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Muffin \* > \*\*Here’s some info to help you chose your therapy cat. [http://www.netpets.com/cats/reference/info/ther\_cats.html](http://www.netpets.com/cats/reference/info/ther_cats.html) \*\* 😛 Very cool! Thanks! Ana ---
**Author:** ![Black\_Train\_Song](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4da419/32.png) [@Black\_Train\_Song](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Black_Train_Song)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232/72 "2003-04-10T13:29:48Z")
Even though the the OP has wussed out at this point I will agree with his original point. The other day I waited the customary five minutes to get into a post called “I’m a bad parent” and when I finally got in I was expecting to hear a story about how this person left their kid in a car while he/she was in a bar and the car was in a handicap zone and got towed but he/she decided to have a few more beers before going to find their kid. You can see how that would lift my spirits, right? BUT NOOOOOOOOOO! It was about cats. Thanks for wasting five minutes of my life um, asshole! Here’s the thing: Dog owners and child owners are a pain in the ass too but nothing approches the madness of CAT owners. CAT owners completely impose an entire personality onto their pets then believe their own delusions. CATs are 1 notch below rodents and might have a brain the size of a pencil eraser. The difference between dog and CATS are that DOGS had to work for thousands of years to forge a meaningful relationship with man, helping to secure his own species as a result. Are there drug sniffing CATS? Bomb sniffing cats? Seeing eye CATS? NO?? Police cats? I don’t fucking think so! Why?? Cats are affectionate rodents, thats why! ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232/73 "2003-04-10T14:04:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DreadCthulhu \* > \*\*Excuse me, I am the Dreadful person on this board. And besides, cats are nice - with white wine. \*\* Oh, **what** ever. You have a POP SONG about you, for cryin’ out loud. Also, my daughter is just the _cutest thing ever_ when she’s playing with my cat. ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232/74 "2003-04-10T14:46:30Z")
I care about your fucking cats! There’s way too much cat-fucking going one, which only leads to more … well, fucking cats! And then the SPCA or the Humane Society has to gas the extra ones. So sad 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232/75 "2003-04-10T15:20:49Z")
[My cat, Newt, hates all of you, too.](http://www.mycathatesyou.com/newlist.asp?CatName=newt_012403) I have three cats and they are all staunchly anti-war. ---
**Author:** ![Pedro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/919ad9/32.png) [@Pedro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pedro)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232/76 "2003-04-10T17:47:54Z")
LOL **Rooves** right on! I do believe child owners are the worse though. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232/77 "2003-04-10T17:52:19Z")
So many cats, so few recipes. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232/78 "2003-04-10T18:14:45Z")
A friend of mine’s cat had kittens and all was well for awhile but they couldn’t give any of them away and the momma cat kept mewing all the time so they decided to get rid of them all. He and I drove out to the country and he put all of them in a burlap bag and tied it shut. I thought he was just kidding with me when he pulled out his gun but then he pointed it at the bag and BLAM BLAM BLAM shot it three times with his shotgun. Freaked me out! Freaked the cats out too, the ones still alive because now they’re screaming and bouncing into each other in the bag and clawing and everything. Friend’s now out of shells so he pours some gasoline onto the squirming bag and lights it on fire. Now there’s really some action. I could smell the burning cat hair and I yelled “stop” but there was nothing to put it out with but a shovel. So I’m pounding the bag of freaking cats with a shovel but can’t get the fire out so I tossed the whole thing into the river but the damn bag of cats sank like a rock. It took a full 5 minutes before the bubbles from their last dying breath finally quit rising to the surface. Damn, those little kitties were so dang tough! ---
**Author:** ![smam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/46a35a/32.png) [@smam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smam)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232/79 "2003-04-10T18:30:59Z")
Damn lieu, those burlap bags are not cheap, I hope you billed the owner of the mommy cat. ---
**Author:** ![Pedro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/919ad9/32.png) [@Pedro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pedro)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232/80 "2003-04-10T20:34:42Z")
I hope you recovered the bag and dumped it in a garbage disposal bin. Preserve the environment dammit! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-cares-about-your-fucking-cats/167232.md?page=5)