# Nobody knows that I... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 31, 2005, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-knows-that-i/297131 "2005-03-31T22:17:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2005, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-knows-that-i/297131/1 "2005-03-31T22:17:48Z")
…had a secret master / slave, B&D / S&M relationship for almost two years. I was the bottom guy. Long story short: We met at a sex club in lower Manhattan (that exists no longer). We met privately to ‘play’ together about once a week on average, and sometimes in clubs and private parties. We “experimented” with a lot of things, including breath-control and electrodes. Eventually I got too weirded out by the experience and gradually distanced myself from my ‘master.’ We remained friends for a while, then he moved away and we lost communication. I was thinking about it the other day, and it dawned on me that literally nobody from my ‘normal’ life knew anything about this relationship. I never discussed it with _anybody_ outside of that scene. Had I been killed by this guy (not that I thought that would ever really happen), it’d be like one of these “Law & Order” episodes in which the victims’ “secret double life” gets exposed, and all the people who knew me in my regular day-to-day life would gasp and say “I had _no idea!_ He didn’t seem like that at all!” So, anyway, that’s my deep secret. Any questions? Or alternately, what’s your big secret? ---
**Author:** ![Dob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Dob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dob)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2005, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-knows-that-i/297131/2 "2005-03-31T22:42:57Z")
my secrets a big one! I have this videotape of some guy in NY who was a secretly into S&M… ---
**Author:** ![DirkGntly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DirkGntly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DirkGntly)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2005, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-knows-that-i/297131/3 "2005-03-31T22:44:43Z")
My big secret, that I’ve told on these boards but not in real life, is that I’m a “swinger.” And so is my wife, for that matter… …no one in “real life” would ever guess, I can assure you. NEXT! ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2005, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-knows-that-i/297131/4 "2005-03-31T23:27:04Z")
> [@DirkGntly](#): > > My big secret, that I’ve told on these boards but not in real life, is that I’m a “swinger.” And so is my wife, for that matter… > > …no one in “real life” would ever guess, I can assure you. Oh my god… Dad, is that you!? I once peed in the kitchen sink. ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-knows-that-i/297131/5 "2005-04-01T14:12:01Z")
I’m Batman. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-knows-that-i/297131/6 "2005-04-01T14:25:54Z")
I called a man in Reno once just to hear him say, “Hello? _HELLO???_ God damn it, quit calling me!!!” ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-knows-that-i/297131/7 "2005-04-01T14:57:56Z")
Why would I tell you my deepest darkest secrets? Doesn’t make much sense to me. Sorry! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-knows-that-i/297131/8 "2005-04-01T15:13:16Z")
My kinkiness is no secret; however, no one knows that _glances around to make sure no one else is within hearing range_ I pick my nose. :o What? Waitaminnit, that’s not an embarrassed smiley! That’s an I-just-had-reallly-good-sex smiley! _storms off, grumbling_ ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-knows-that-i/297131/9 "2005-04-01T15:13:50Z")
I directed porno films out in the San Fernando Valley back in the early 80s. Did well over a hundred. Then the whole Traci Lords thing happened and I went back to school and switched to a computer career. It’s not something I normally talk about. ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-knows-that-i/297131/10 "2005-04-01T16:30:02Z")
> [@Art Vandelay](#): > > …had a secret master / slave, B&D / S&M relationship for almost two years. I was the bottom guy. I remember you! > [@ShibbOleth](#): > > I directed porno films out in the San Fernando Valley back in the early 80s. And you still owe me money for my last two roles! ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-knows-that-i/297131/11 "2005-04-01T16:45:57Z")
> [@Sauron](#): > > And you still owe me money for my last two roles! I don’t have any cash on me… would you take a personal check? ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-knows-that-i/297131/12 "2005-04-01T16:51:58Z")
My deep secret is… _gasp_ _ack_ _choke_ _gurgle_ X\_\_\_\_X ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nobody-knows-that-i/297131/13 "2005-04-01T17:46:48Z")
I know someone that was captured in NYC years ago at a leather bar. Spent close to two years chained to someone’s radiator. On a much sillier note, I once acquired a retired pay phone. Dialed the number on its dial (ah, for the old days when you could receive a call at a pay phone) and when someone’s answering machine picked up, said “We have your phone!” and hung up.