# Nominate famous folks to be the templates for the new comfortbot models. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 6, 2014, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-famous-folks-to-be-the-templates-for-the-new-comfortbot-models/694970 "2014-08-06T18:48:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2014, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-famous-folks-to-be-the-templates-for-the-new-comfortbot-models/694970/1 "2014-08-06T18:48:37Z")
Due to the carelessness of a certain Doper (I don’t want to name names, but her screen name has two syllables, “jay” and"rey"), 78% of the Rhymer Enterprises comfortbot inventory has been irreparably damaged due to somebody trying to hack into the programming to get them to add rap to their musical repertoire. Ordinarily I would punish such impudence with a flaming bee attack, but as \*\*jayrey’s \*\*a chick she is protected by Rule 7. I have been forced to punish her via proxy. The merciless spanking Shia LaBeouf will be receiving later this afternoon is entirely her fault. But that is not the point of this thread. The point of this thread is that, since I have to replenish the comfortbot stock anyway, I have decided to open the floor for suggestions as to what famous persons we shall use as the templates. Now bear in mind we’re not talking about hookerbots. Comfortbots don’t have sex with you; they supply comfort and succor to the weary, wounded, bereaved, and heartbroken. That means they’ll bring you breakfast in bed, massage away your aches, sing lullabies to help you fall asleep, decapitate your enemies as needed–things like that. Each model is based on a real person from whom it is visually, aurally, olfactorialy, and tactilely indistinguishable. The blank units are halfway constructed and will be ready for holomatrix imprinting tomorrow morning. All I need from you people is suggestions as to who should supply the template Want Gwyneth Paltrow to provide shiatsu massage? Taye Diggs to make you omelets? This is your chance to persuade me to make it happen. Thoughts, anyone? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2014, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-famous-folks-to-be-the-templates-for-the-new-comfortbot-models/694970/2 "2014-08-06T19:05:46Z")
Totally Harrison Ford. I am just young enough that while I know Ford is good looking, he’s always been more fatherly to me. I believe I have mentioned me and my dad never had a great relationship, and my real dad never even met me, so I look to fiction for my father figures. I would love to have Ford as a father, especially the father of Air Force One. He can sing lullabies, make omelets, listen to me and I can speak to him in English and really tell him the things going on in my life and make him understand. My dad speaks terrible English and while I speak above average Hindi I still don’t speak it enough. And he can tell me he’s happy to have me as a daughter no matter what, a phrase I have literally never heard addressed to me. ---
**Author:** ![Fluffy\_PickleSniffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/77aa72/32.png) [@Fluffy\_PickleSniffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fluffy_PickleSniffer)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2014, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-famous-folks-to-be-the-templates-for-the-new-comfortbot-models/694970/3 "2014-08-06T19:08:28Z")
Did somebody say omelets? ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2014, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-famous-folks-to-be-the-templates-for-the-new-comfortbot-models/694970/4 "2014-08-06T19:09:21Z")
[Michelle Jenneke](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xr5DouXRv0k) Just watching her warm up brightens the day. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2014, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-famous-folks-to-be-the-templates-for-the-new-comfortbot-models/694970/5 "2014-08-06T19:13:11Z")
Jacklyn Smith to tuck me in at night and tell me gentle tales to fall asleep by. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2014, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-famous-folks-to-be-the-templates-for-the-new-comfortbot-models/694970/6 "2014-08-06T19:14:36Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Totally Harrison Ford. I am just young enough that while I know Ford is good looking, he’s always been more fatherly to me. I believe I have mentioned me and my dad never had a great relationship, and my real dad never even met me, so I look to fiction for my father figures. I would love to have Ford as a father, especially the father of Air Force One. > > He can sing lullabies, make omelets, listen to me and I can speak to him in English and really tell him the things going on in my life and make him understand. My dad speaks terrible English and while I speak above average Hindi I still don’t speak it enough. And he can tell me he’s happy to have me as a daughter no matter what, a phrase I have literally never heard addressed to me. Part of the “dad” job definition is “inclined to beat the crap out of anyone who even mildly distresses his daughter.” I can kinda see Ford being that way. Certainly when playing Indiana ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2014, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-famous-folks-to-be-the-templates-for-the-new-comfortbot-models/694970/7 "2014-08-06T19:16:44Z")
NM ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2014, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-famous-folks-to-be-the-templates-for-the-new-comfortbot-models/694970/8 "2014-08-06T19:30:21Z")
I’d like to borrow the Shia LeBouf bot to torture, abuse, and do stuff to. Mainly to hear him whine about it and regret no longer being famous. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2014, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-famous-folks-to-be-the-templates-for-the-new-comfortbot-models/694970/9 "2014-08-06T19:30:53Z")
Comfortbot, not hookerbot. Comfortbot, not hookerbot. OK, got it. I guess I’ll go with Judi Dench. A great voice, a kindly manner and a motherly presence (unless she’s playing against type, of course) that would be comforting indeed, I would think. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2014, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-famous-folks-to-be-the-templates-for-the-new-comfortbot-models/694970/10 "2014-08-06T19:32:20Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > Comfortbot, not hookerbot. Comfortbot, not hookerbot. OK, got it. No rule against it being a hot chick. It’s just that the pants don’t come off. The Zooey Deschanel models are excellent. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2014, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-famous-folks-to-be-the-templates-for-the-new-comfortbot-models/694970/11 "2014-08-06T19:34:35Z")
> [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > I’d like to borrow the Shia LeBouf bot to torture, abuse, and do stuff to. Mainly to hear him whine about it and regret no longer being famous. You misunderstand. It’s the real Shia who’s being tortured. Which I don’t have a problem with. ---
**Author:** ![jayrey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/47e85d/32.png) [@jayrey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayrey)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2014, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-famous-folks-to-be-the-templates-for-the-new-comfortbot-models/694970/12 "2014-08-06T20:12:15Z")
Sheesh. All a girl wants is to hear a little OutKast and everybody gets their knickers in a knot! Then again, who is more deserving of a nasty spanking than Shia? So some good came out of all this after all. Y’all can thank me later. :rolleyes: I’d like a Colin Firth comfortbot please. He’d look so cute in a apron, making me a yummy spinach and swiss cheese omelet and _baking a pound cake,_ _since I didn’t get one delivered to me while incarcerated at Venetian yesterday_. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2014, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-famous-folks-to-be-the-templates-for-the-new-comfortbot-models/694970/13 "2014-08-06T20:22:34Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > No rule against it being a hot chick. It’s just that the pants don’t come off. The Zooey Deschanel models are excellent. Oh, I’m sure they are, nudge nudge, wink wink. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2014, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-famous-folks-to-be-the-templates-for-the-new-comfortbot-models/694970/14 "2014-08-06T20:23:05Z")
> [@jayrey](#): > > Sheesh. All a girl wants is to hear a little OutKast and everybody gets their knickers in a knot! > > Then again, who is more deserving of a nasty spanking than Shia? Bieber? > [@](#): > > I’d like a Colin Firth comfortbot please. He’d look so cute in a apron, making me a yummy spinach and swiss cheese omelet and _baking a pound cake,_ _since I didn’t get one delivered to me while incarcerated at Venetian yesterday_. :dubious: You’ll need to specify Firth from what movie. Nothing all Merchant-Ivory-y, please. > [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > Oh, I’m sure they are, nudge nudge, wink wink. The pants, once again, are PAINTED ON. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2014, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-famous-folks-to-be-the-templates-for-the-new-comfortbot-models/694970/15 "2014-08-06T20:34:01Z")
A Kaley Cuoco bot so she can sing Soft Kitty to me when I’m not feeling well. A Felicia Day bot to play video games with. A Giada De Laurentis bot to cook me foods. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2014, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-famous-folks-to-be-the-templates-for-the-new-comfortbot-models/694970/16 "2014-08-06T21:20:50Z")
Christina Hendricks, please. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2014, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-famous-folks-to-be-the-templates-for-the-new-comfortbot-models/694970/17 "2014-08-06T21:27:29Z")
Pretty, but won’t have sex with me? Sure, I’ll take a Jodie Foster comfortbot. ---
**Author:** ![jayrey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/47e85d/32.png) [@jayrey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayrey)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2014, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-famous-folks-to-be-the-templates-for-the-new-comfortbot-models/694970/18 "2014-08-06T21:40:45Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Bieber? Erk, I forgot about him because thinking about him makes my skin crawl. If I screw up some more programming, will Bieber get a beating - I mean, a _spanking_, too? The \*Love Actually \* model of Colin Firth comfortbot would be delish, thanks! ---
**Author:** ![CT\_Damsel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CT\_Damsel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CT_Damsel)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2014, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-famous-folks-to-be-the-templates-for-the-new-comfortbot-models/694970/19 "2014-08-06T22:40:11Z")
If you can make one from a deceased person; I would like to nominate Colleen Dewhurst in her Marilla Cuthbert character and Richard Farnsworth in his Matthew Cuthbert character from Anne of Green Gables. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2014, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-famous-folks-to-be-the-templates-for-the-new-comfortbot-models/694970/20 "2014-08-06T22:44:00Z")
Aung san suu kyi or Mr. Rogers. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-famous-folks-to-be-the-templates-for-the-new-comfortbot-models/694970.md?page=2)