# Nominate the stupidest character in a commercial **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 17, 2011, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-the-stupidest-character-in-a-commercial/596600 "2011-09-17T05:00:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![brocks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7feea3/32.png) [@brocks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brocks)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2011, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-the-stupidest-character-in-a-commercial/596600/61 "2011-09-19T00:04:51Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > There is another thread for exactly these sorts of observations, you know. Right, because there’s no place for humor in serious debates on nuclear proliferation. Oh wait… ---
**Author:** ![Dravin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/da6949/32.png) [@Dravin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dravin)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2011, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-the-stupidest-character-in-a-commercial/596600/62 "2011-09-19T00:44:26Z")
> [@Don\_Draper](#): > > Or, better yet, the dude could’ve just eaten his bowl of cereal at night!! Who the hell is gonna stop him? > > Just makes me mad. That has my vote, it’s not like the stuff is battery acid except between the hours of 6am to 10am. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2011, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-the-stupidest-character-in-a-commercial/596600/63 "2011-09-19T00:55:21Z")
> [@ExTank](#): > > But which is stupider? Being a smug git with an (allegedly) large :ahem:, or using Enzyte? The guy used it too, so the question is kinda moot. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2011, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-the-stupidest-character-in-a-commercial/596600/64 "2011-09-19T01:18:15Z")
> [@ExTank](#): > > But which is stupider? Being a smug git with an (allegedly) large :ahem:, or using Enzyte? I’d say the grinning idiot is stupider, because he clearly thinks the shit works. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2011, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-the-stupidest-character-in-a-commercial/596600/65 "2011-09-19T02:08:14Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Oh, yeah, the guy in the “Natural Male Enhancement” ads who AFAIK has never had so much as one line of script, just that big shit-eating grin. Yeah, he doesn’t even get paid SAG scale, since he doesn’t speak. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2011, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-the-stupidest-character-in-a-commercial/596600/66 "2011-09-19T02:36:26Z")
The stupidest people in a commercial are the ones that did the scientific study that showed that “humans have 3000 thoughts a day.” While our car’s computer has 10,000 thoughts a minute. I don’t know which car this is a commercial for but every time I hear the narrator say that I think the people in the study must be mentally disabled or in a coma. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2011, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-the-stupidest-character-in-a-commercial/596600/67 "2011-09-19T02:56:42Z")
> [@brocks](#): > > Right, because there’s no place for humor in serious debates on nuclear proliferation. Oh wait… Oh, I have no problem with such posts. Quite the reverse. (And, truth be told, Miss Sherrif Fear Cake kinda does it for me, too.) It’s just easier to keep track of them if they’re all in one place. ---
**Author:** ![Dravin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/da6949/32.png) [@Dravin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dravin)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2011, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-the-stupidest-character-in-a-commercial/596600/68 "2011-09-19T02:58:43Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > The stupidest people in a commercial are the ones that did the scientific study that showed that “humans have 3000 thoughts a day.” While our car’s computer has 10,000 thoughts a minute. > > I don’t know which car this is a commercial for but every time I hear the narrator say that I think the people in the study must be mentally disabled or in a coma. I’d wonder if the car in question is Night Rider. Computers don’t have thoughts, they do calculations. ---
**Author:** ![mkecane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9e8a1a/32.png) [@mkecane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mkecane)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2011, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-the-stupidest-character-in-a-commercial/596600/69 "2011-09-19T03:26:01Z")
I guess this doesn’t count quite as much since it’s just a bad commercial rather than a specifically stupid character, but the guy behind the counter in the Napa Auto Parts commercial, along with his customer, is [really, really, really bad.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iy_myvov5C0) Horrible. F. ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2011, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-the-stupidest-character-in-a-commercial/596600/70 "2011-09-19T03:58:49Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > :eek: But skeletons are _scary!_ Are you saying there’s one _inside_ of me? _Right now?_ :eek: :eek: :eek: […] [sort of a hijack] When I was a kid I was scared of seeing skeletons and skulls. Once, after I reached adulthood, I had a dream in which I feared an approaching skeleton, and then I remembered: I have one too! I was perhaps late in realizing that the skeleton was not some bad thing that was going to get me. Yeah, they look scary, but they’re under skin and stuff so you don’t have to look at them. Besides–what would you be _without_ your skeleton, Hmmmmm? 🙂 [\sort of a hijack] ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2011, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-the-stupidest-character-in-a-commercial/596600/71 "2011-09-19T05:13:10Z")
> [@AlsoNamedBort](#): > > Also came in to nominate the woman who doesn’t know what nerves are. I hope she gets hired for other medical commercials. > > “My doctor explained to me that I have a heart, that pumps blood throughout my body.” > > “Did you know that everyone has a skeleton, that gives us structure?” These would be awesome, along with “I recently learned that we have brains. This causes thoughts in many people. Some of those thoughts are sad, which is why [hawk anti-depressant]” ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2011, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-the-stupidest-character-in-a-commercial/596600/72 "2011-09-19T05:27:35Z")
There are a few drug commercials that seem to treat fairly minor conditions that seem to have potentially fatal side effects. The people who endorse them seem pretty damn stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Cumberdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@Cumberdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cumberdale)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2011, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-the-stupidest-character-in-a-commercial/596600/73 "2011-09-19T11:54:50Z")
There was one commercial several years ago with a guy in a grocery store having to call his wife for every single decision. As he checks out the clerk asks “paper or plastic?” Of course he calls the wife and she hangs up on him and he stands there with a lost, confused look. Fortunately, now with Netflix and DVDs I rarely have to see commercials these days. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2011, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-the-stupidest-character-in-a-commercial/596600/74 "2011-09-19T14:47:28Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Also, the creepy non-blinking “doctor” who pimps for Restasis. It’s not just me! I thought working in ophthalmology made me pay attention to this kind of thing more often. Doctor says she suffers from dry eyes too, and I’m thinking, “well, I think I know why, and I’m pretty sure you could just **blink** now and then rather than using immunosuppressant eyedrops!” :smack: (I’m aware I pay attention to this stuff a lot. I spent half of watching **The Happening** wondering who came up with the idea that you can run from the wind, and the other half trying to figure out why Zoey Deschanel had pinpoint pupils.) ---
**Author:** ![Bosstrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Bosstrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstrain)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2011, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-the-stupidest-character-in-a-commercial/596600/75 "2011-09-19T15:41:57Z")
My nomination may not qualify, seeing as how it’s not someone _in_ a commercial, but rather, the person that is actually interested in whatever product the commercial is advertising. I just want every company to know that I always DVR a show before watching, then come back ten or so minutes later and fast-forward through their stupid crap ;). Also, I nominate anyone in a commercial that’s pushing drugs, these things always have nasty side-effects, most of which include death, or something that could lead to it…that’s just stupid, I’d much rather deal with whatever the drug is supposed to take care of, much better chances of survival. My all-time favorite would be the ones where they’re supposed to help with depression, but the side effects can lead to suicidal thoughts or behavior…I think depression can take care of that all on its own, thank you very much. Also, Flo does not belong here, no matter how stupid her character is, that chick is super cute, and I think that alone should pardon her, merely because I’ve never seen someone who looked quite like that. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![LionelHutz405](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lionelhutz405/32/536_2.png) [@LionelHutz405](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LionelHutz405)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2011, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-the-stupidest-character-in-a-commercial/596600/76 "2011-09-19T16:05:50Z")
A tribute to all those infomercial losers: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08xQLGWTSag&list=FLxtxj3wI3v6QRR7KxjbZ1Wg&index=2](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08xQLGWTSag&list=FLxtxj3wI3v6QRR7KxjbZ1Wg&index=2) ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2011, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-the-stupidest-character-in-a-commercial/596600/77 "2011-09-19T16:17:38Z")
> [@LionelHutz405](#): > > A tribute to all those infomercial losers: > > [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08xQLGWTSag&list=FLxtxj3wI3v6QRR7KxjbZ1Wg&index=2](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08xQLGWTSag&list=FLxtxj3wI3v6QRR7KxjbZ1Wg&index=2) Brilliant! ---
**Author:** ![Vita\_Beata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@Vita\_Beata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vita_Beata)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2011, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-the-stupidest-character-in-a-commercial/596600/78 "2011-09-19T16:18:23Z")
Puddin’ Face commercials completely annoy me. One character is going around accusing another family member of eating some food; the family member LIES about eating it. Gaaah: Lying about pudding. Another stupid one is for, I’m guessing, paper towels. The father and son are playing some sort of table hockey, and knock over the salsa. The mother races in with a beaming smile to clean up the mess. Quit making a mess and clean up after yourselves! ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2011, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-the-stupidest-character-in-a-commercial/596600/79 "2011-09-19T16:19:59Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > There’s one for Quaker State motor oil (I think) that says something like “we have such confidence in our oil, if your car makes it to 250,000 miles we’ll write you a check for the value of your car.” How much is a car with 250,000 miels on it worth? Probably nothing. IT’S A TRAP! ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2011, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-the-stupidest-character-in-a-commercial/596600/80 "2011-09-19T17:55:39Z")
> [@Don\_Draper](#): > > My vote goes to the guy from the cereal commercial who is standing in the kitchen in the middle of the night, wishing it were morning so that he can eat his cereal. Then he abruptly leaves his house, gets on a plane to freakin’ _China_, takes a shuttle out to the ocean, all so he can see the sun rise…thereby meaning it is morning and that he can eat his cereal. > > Sure, I know it’s supposed to be farcical, but I can’t even pay attention to what brand of cereal it’s for - all I can think is that the time spent geting all the way around the world would certainly be longer than one single night. He could’ve just waited at his house, and day would break at his own home faster than it took him to find the dawn. Or, better yet, the dude could’ve just eaten his bowl of cereal at night!! Who the hell is gonna stop him? > > Just makes me mad. Wait! From the US, wouldn’t China (being in a western sort of direction) make morning\* later\*?! Traveling to Europe would make more sense. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-the-stupidest-character-in-a-commercial/596600.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nominate-the-stupidest-character-in-a-commercial/596600.md?page=5)