# Nomination for worst commercial: Brawny **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 24, 2005, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nomination-for-worst-commercial-brawny/295994 "2005-03-24T02:50:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nomination-for-worst-commercial-brawny/295994/21 "2005-03-25T03:58:08Z")
Wow. I hadn’t seen either of the first two commercials and had to go to the site to watch. The first one was just about the stupidest thing I’ve seen. The second was just beyond words. These commercials are not aimed at gay men. No way. That was not secretly a “gay porn” film. I have no idea just what they were trying to do, but I know if I actually did buy Brawny towels, I wouldn’t now. ---
**Author:** ![bclouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@bclouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bclouse)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nomination-for-worst-commercial-brawny/295994/22 "2005-03-25T03:58:57Z")
You really owe it to yourselves to check out the Innocent Escapes section at the BrawnyMan website. Look at Apricot’s weblink in an earlier post to check it out. ---
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lichtman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeff_lichtman/32/1531_2.png) [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nomination-for-worst-commercial-brawny/295994/23 "2005-03-25T05:35:11Z")
> [@Snooooopy](#): > > I’m going to have to nominate that Carl’s Jr. commercial where the fetus starts complaining to his mother about all of the spicy food that she’s eating. I hate this one, too. Apart from it being gross, I also hate the kid for sassing his mother before he’s even born. And by the way, how does a kid still in the womb have a friend named “Ned,” and how does he know what color Ned was when he was born? E.S.P.? But then, I hate all Carl’s Jr. ads. Their message seems to be, “Carl’s Jr. - the fast food for louts.” ---
**Author:** ![Large\_Marge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/50afbb/32.png) [@Large\_Marge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Large_Marge)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nomination-for-worst-commercial-brawny/295994/24 "2005-03-25T06:02:45Z")
The stupidest commercial of all time: Dr. Scholl’s gellin insoles. Dork 1: “Are you gellin’?” Dork 2: “I’m gellin’ like Magellan.” The lamest commercials EVER. They make me want to NEVER buy a Dr. Scholl’s product again. ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nomination-for-worst-commercial-brawny/295994/25 "2005-03-25T09:24:45Z")
> [@Apricot](#): > > Y’all have got to check out “Role Reversal” where the husband becomes the puppy dog in the first commercial. A WTF moment if I’ve ever had one. > > This page also has a link to the commercial in question if you haven’t seen it. That’s a real commerical? That’s not a parody? Wow. Just, wow. ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nomination-for-worst-commercial-brawny/295994/26 "2005-03-25T10:38:10Z")
I laughed so hard at the Brawny commercial mentioned in the OP… because I honestly thought they were going for the Simpsons-style over-the-top sexual innuendo advertising. Poking a little fun at themselves, perhaps. Maybe I’m way off. Didn’t anyone else think of _Chad Sexington_? You know… for the _Brawly_ paper towels Marge so adored? ---
**Author:** ![bclouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@bclouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bclouse)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nomination-for-worst-commercial-brawny/295994/27 "2005-03-25T14:11:08Z")
Nomination for lamest commercial jingle: Autozone - “If you want it, and you need it, we’ll get it, just ask us. Autooooozzoonnnee… Get in the zone. Autozzooooone.” Jesus, who pooped this out? I keep wanting to add to it - “If you want it, and you need it, we’ll get it, just ask us, come on in, pick it up, walk to the counter, and stand in line, we’ll scan it, hand us the money, we’ll take it, we’ll bag it, we’ll hand it to you… Get in the zone. Autozzooooone.” And what gets me is - not only did some lameass have to come up with this sorry excuse but then someone had to okay it - “Yeah, that’s good. That’s _really_ good.” Then get people to perform it. Can you imagine having to ask someone to sing this? ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nomination-for-worst-commercial-brawny/295994/28 "2005-03-25T14:36:13Z")
This is my kitchen, my heart, my soul, my meatloaf, my quiche. That’s why my paper towel is Brawny, my credit card is American Express, and why I bought a Saturn. ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nomination-for-worst-commercial-brawny/295994/29 "2005-03-25T14:38:51Z")
> [@Sam Lowry](#): > > I have to nominate the Dairy Queen “Moolatte Resistance Test” commercial. A woman is sitting at a table with sensors on her, and when she tries to drink the Moolatte (worst name for a drink ever), she gets electrocuted. > > Now I realize that the point of the commerical is supposed to be that you can’t resist drinking their supposedly wonderful drink, but it just associates in my mind Dairy Queen=Torture. I don’t think the point of a commercial should be to disturb me. Funny you hate it, I think it’s pretty funny. That woman will stop at nothing to get that shake!!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nomination-for-worst-commercial-brawny/295994/30 "2005-03-26T01:24:25Z")
My nomination for lamest commercial jingle: Don’t know if it’s a local restaurant or a chain, but years back a Mexican restaurant had the worst jingle/slogan: ChiChi’s: When you want to feel a little Mexican. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nomination-for-worst-commercial-brawny/295994/31 "2005-03-26T01:31:36Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > ChiChi’s: When you want to feel a little Mexican. > > :eek: That’s funny. But you’re right, it deserves a :eek: ! ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nomination-for-worst-commercial-brawny/295994/32 "2005-03-26T03:11:46Z")
In the grocery story today was a Peeps display with a sign that said, “Peeps: Always in Season”. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nomination-for-worst-commercial-brawny/295994/33 "2005-03-26T04:04:09Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > My nomination for lamest commercial jingle: > > Don’t know if it’s a local restaurant or a chain, but years back a Mexican restaurant had the worst jingle/slogan: > > ChiChi’s: When you want to feel a little Mexican. > > :eek: Where I used to live there was a chain called Pancho’s. Their commercial had someone, I think a famous tejano singer (?) singing a jingle with the following lyrics: “You get so much mucho for not very much-o at Pancho’s tex mex buffet. Ay ay ay!” This always bothered/amused me quite a lot, though I had problems explaining why to my friends. When I would sing the song at work, around my hispanic coworkers, however, they would crack up. Not because white boy was singing a weird song, but because they had seen the commercial and thought it was ridiculous and weird. “So much mucho”? “Not very much-o”? “Ay ay ay”? Anyway… -FrL- ---
**Author:** ![Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/96bed5/32.png) [@Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patty_O_Furniture)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nomination-for-worst-commercial-brawny/295994/34 "2005-03-26T12:23:46Z")
33 posts and no mention of the huge package he’s sporting inside his right pant leg? They might as well paint a bullseye on it because it’s all I can see in that last shot. ---
**Author:** ![Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Laughing_Lagomorph)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nomination-for-worst-commercial-brawny/295994/35 "2005-03-26T12:39:12Z")
W.T. flipping F? Those commercials are the creepiest things I’ve ever seen! (Thanks for the link **Apricot** ). I don’t watch much TV anymore. What types of shows are people seeing these Brawny commercials during? You can often tell a commercial’s intended audience by the type of show it is broadcast during. Are these Brawny commercials on during _Oprah_? College basketball? What? BTW in the second role reversal one it seemed more like the guy was being treated like a child rather than a puppy. ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nomination-for-worst-commercial-brawny/295994/36 "2005-03-26T12:45:19Z")
A commercial I (mercifully!) haven’t seen in a while: Dad spills milk on his tie. He grabs the dishrag and wipes it up, then hangs up the dishrag again without rinsing. Junior comes home and uses the same dishrag to wipe his muddy football. He drops it on the floor. Puppy comes running into the kitchen and chews on the yummy yummy dishrag. Then some time later, Mom waltzes into the kitchen… …And **WIPES THE CUTTING BOARD WITH THE DISHRAG.** Then she (without rinsing it, as far as I remember) applies a drop of The Product - an anti-bacterial dishwashing detergent - and hangs the dishrag up once again. This commercial needs a barfy smiley so badly I’m going to invent one: :eek: /|\ I haven’t seen this commercial since before Christmas, but the other day in the supermarket I walked past The Product and immediately thought of dishrags coated with sour milk, mud, floor gunk and puppy spit, and realized I would not buy a bottle of that cr@p if it was the last dishwashing detergent on earth. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nomination-for-worst-commercial-brawny/295994/37 "2005-03-26T16:08:00Z")
> [@Laughing Lagomorph](#): > > Are these Brawny commercials on during _Oprah_? HGTV during home-improvement shows. I’m definitely their target audience (female, 30-50, primary shopper). FTR I liked the Diet Coke commercial with the construction worker. This one, however, I loathe. ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nomination-for-worst-commercial-brawny/295994/38 "2005-03-26T17:18:24Z")
> [@Patty O'Furniture](#): > > 33 posts and no mention of the huge package he’s sporting inside his right pant leg? They might as well paint a bullseye on it because it’s all I can see in that last shot. Just another of Brawny’s many uses! ---
**Author:** ![SlickRoenick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e68b1a/32.png) [@SlickRoenick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlickRoenick)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nomination-for-worst-commercial-brawny/295994/39 "2005-03-27T03:20:18Z")
[Peter Griffin] CLEAN MY PEE!! [/PG] ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nomination-for-worst-commercial-brawny/295994/40 "2005-03-27T03:44:02Z")
If this is the best you can come up with, then thank whatever diety you answer to that you’ve never been subjected to Anna Nicole Smith’s Trimspa commercials. “Want a Viper? Want some money? Like my body? Trimspa, baby!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nomination-for-worst-commercial-brawny/295994.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nomination-for-worst-commercial-brawny/295994.md?page=3)