# Non-Americans: If you had to have a superpower other than your own country... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 18, 2005, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-americans-if-you-had-to-have-a-superpower-other-than-your-own-country/326737 "2005-10-18T13:02:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2005, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-americans-if-you-had-to-have-a-superpower-other-than-your-own-country/326737/41 "2005-10-19T14:29:39Z")
The British empire really made such a great job of it last time. in Bizarro world. ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2005, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-americans-if-you-had-to-have-a-superpower-other-than-your-own-country/326737/42 "2005-10-19T14:40:30Z")
> [@Cunctator](#): > > Japan Oh yeah. Historically, **that’s** been a fantastic idea. ---
**Author:** ![gum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bbe5ce/32.png) [@gum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gum)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2005, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-americans-if-you-had-to-have-a-superpower-other-than-your-own-country/326737/43 "2005-10-19T23:31:02Z")
> [@Dominic Mulligan](#): > > The United States. > > The EU is a nightmare enough already without granting it extra, albeit hypothetical, powers 😛 Ditto, ditto. Hehehehehe, **Bippy the Beardless**. Good thinking. We will rock you with our clogs and tulips. And what better way to be a superpower than to pretend there IS no enemy? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-americans-if-you-had-to-have-a-superpower-other-than-your-own-country/326737/44 "2005-10-20T11:09:54Z")
> [@TwistofFate](#): > > The British empire really made such a great job of it last time. > in Bizarro world. We sure did. We hit the Industrial Revolution first while careering onwards towards a mighty empire that promised to provide us with an abundance of raw materials to turn into manufactured goods, and we promptly turned that big advantage into building a mighty super-hi-tech armed juggernaut with which to crush every nation we set foot in, exterminate the natives in search of _lebensraum_ to relieve our rapidly-overcrowding island, and rinsed and repeated until we bestrode the world like a colossus and everyone had to do what we said, or else. We wasted the opportunity to be architects, educators, lawgivers and civilisers, put an end to widow-burning, promote sanitation and health care, build railways, roads, schools and hospitals, and so much else. Instead, like a particularly jumped-up version of the conquistadors, we raped all the invaded homelands of everything that wasn’t nailed down, sent in specially-trained crews with claw hammers to deal with the whole nailed-down situation, and guaranteed ourselves an infamous name in history. That’s why to this day every Indian you meet will spit upon the ground every time he has to mention Britain, for a start. But being from the place myself, I couldn’t have nominated them for the post anyway. ---
**Author:** ![UselessGit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/74df32/32.png) [@UselessGit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UselessGit)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-americans-if-you-had-to-have-a-superpower-other-than-your-own-country/326737/45 "2005-10-20T11:37:48Z")
I’d say Canada. Canadians are wonderful people; intelligent, calm, sensible and a great sense of humor. They’d fix all the world’s problems within a decade. We would, of course, fix all the world’s problems within a year but that’s another thing entirely. ---
**Author:** ![Rune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e68b1a/32.png) [@Rune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rune)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-americans-if-you-had-to-have-a-superpower-other-than-your-own-country/326737/46 "2005-10-20T11:47:57Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > This was also my first thought. > > Iceland rules. Ought to, anyway. Do you know any bona-fida Icelanders? For I tell you, what seems like a great idea on distance, is not always such a great idea up close. Same goes with Sweden and Norway, which a lot of people seems to think are just swell. I’m sorry, but Nordic countries are lousy choices. Sweden is for all practically purposes a one-party state, with limited freedom of speech and an overwhelming state media - not to say crippling tax rates. Norway has, not without reason, been called the last communistic regime. And Denmark is, as we all know, incurable racist. Finland would probably be a good choice – but then we’d all have to learn Finnish, and that’s about as much fun as a death sentence without the added benefit of a last meal. For all the realistic candidates for superpower: USA, EU, China, India, UN or a new hegemonic Russia. I’d choose the US. Americans at least you can make fun of, without them catching on. _tok_ _tok_ _tok_ ---
**Author:** ![UselessGit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/74df32/32.png) [@UselessGit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UselessGit)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-americans-if-you-had-to-have-a-superpower-other-than-your-own-country/326737/47 "2005-10-20T12:04:34Z")
> [@Rune](#): > > Do you know any bona-fida Icelanders? For I tell you, what seems like a great idea on distance, is not always such a great idea up close. Rune… dude, why? Was it something I said? I’ll nominate Foroyar as soon as they’re independent, you know. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-americans-if-you-had-to-have-a-superpower-other-than-your-own-country/326737/48 "2005-10-20T12:11:27Z")
> [@UselessGit](#): > > Rune… dude, why? Was it something I said? I’ll nominate Foroyar as soon as they’re independent, you know. I can’t speak for **Rune** , but I’ve got a long enough memory to hark back to Iceland going to war over a few schools of cod, and a nation as petty as that isn’t one I want to see entrusted with the world’s biggest conventional and nuclear arsenal. That and making the average remote English village look like a model of genetic diversity. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![UselessGit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/74df32/32.png) [@UselessGit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UselessGit)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-americans-if-you-had-to-have-a-superpower-other-than-your-own-country/326737/49 "2005-10-20T12:34:41Z")
Sorry for the hijack but I simply must correct the esteemed Mr. Malacandra. Sir, that was _our_ cod, and the fact that the UK lost said “war” says pretty much what needs to be said about that whole thing. Also, I’ve been to remote English villages (heck, I’m hopefully going back to Widnes real soon); what we make the average Englishman look like, I’ll keep to my humble self. 😃 On a friendlier note, when we’ve finished buying up all UK businesses and taken over, I’ll make sure you keep your job, for remembering the “Cod Wars”. ---
**Author:** ![Rune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e68b1a/32.png) [@Rune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rune)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-americans-if-you-had-to-have-a-superpower-other-than-your-own-country/326737/50 "2005-10-20T12:53:00Z")
> [@UselessGit](#): > > Rune… dude, why? Was it something I said? I’ll nominate Foroyar as soon as they’re independent, you know. I’m just saying lots of people point at Iceland or Sweden or Norway, without having much of a grasp of what those countries are. Sometime you should beware what you wish for, lest it comes true. And I have to say, as much as it would be super cool to have Iceland or the Faeroe Islands rule the earth with an iron fist and demand tribute from afar and force everybody to read the sagas in their original language and fun stuff like that, I think, just maybe people here on SDMB would get just a little bit more that they bargained for. It seems the nationalistic sentiments of Scandinavia are directly proportional to the latitude; from Denmark-\>Norway-\>Faeroe Islands-\>Iceland-\>Greenland. Do you know what the most used word in Norway is? “Norway” And God help you and your descendents to the 10th generation, if you every in Reykjavik should say Iceland suck sheep balls and belong to Denmark anyway and the texts to Sagas should have remained in Copenhagen. Did you know that The Faeroe Islands has the highest birth rate of any western world or of any industrialised country? Hey I like it. Kids rulez! But I doubt most on the SDMB would. There’re also some heavy Christian fundamentalists there. Currently there’s a row over some gay conference which some politicians think is a depravation and a blot on humankind. Booze was only recently legalised. Abortion is no-no. Women to be kept pregnant and barefooted. etc. Good stuff all (except the illegal booze – but people used to compensate by eating shoe polish), but do you think this is what the SDMB dreams of in a superpower? Besides people born on northern islands are notorious stubborn, hard-headed knuckleheads. That’s the same all round the world. I’m as knuckleheaded as they come. But stubborn islanders don’t make people for easy compromise and that would probably be a good thing to have in a superpower. But sure, ask me personally, hey let Iceland rule! ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-americans-if-you-had-to-have-a-superpower-other-than-your-own-country/326737/51 "2005-10-20T13:51:29Z")
> [@UselessGit](#): > > Sorry for the hijack but I simply must correct the esteemed Mr. Malacandra. > > Sir, that was _our_ cod, and the fact that the UK lost said “war” says pretty much what needs to be said about that whole thing. Yeah. It’s the whole “little kid punches the big kid in the nuts, knowing the big kid daren’t touch him for fear of the teacher” thing. We could have turned the whole surface of Iceland into lava, you know (I mean, look at the start Nature gave us). > [@UselessGit](#): > > Also, I’ve been to remote English villages (heck, I’m hopefully going back to Widnes real soon); what we make the average Englishman look like, I’ll keep to my humble self. Widnes alone, though I defend it with some reluctance, you could have the entire population of Iceland wander into and never be found again, unless the rescuers had the sense to look for a couple of hundred thousand people who all look like Björk regardless of gender. > [@Useless Git](#): > > 😃 > > On a friendlier note, when we’ve finished buying up all UK businesses and taken over, I’ll make sure you keep your job, for remembering the “Cod Wars”. Thanks. But I am not, repeat not, adding so much as one letter to my alphabet. What’s with all that anyway? You’ve got throats that make sounds that can’t be represented with the Roman one? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e68b1a/32.png) [@Rune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rune)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-americans-if-you-had-to-have-a-superpower-other-than-your-own-country/326737/52 "2005-10-20T14:06:39Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Thanks. But I am not, repeat not, adding so much as one letter to my alphabet. What’s with all that anyway? You’ve got throats that make sounds that can’t be represented with the Roman one? Well if your precious throat is too good for our letters, I guess you’ll just have to do without. A throat I mean. chop chop ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-americans-if-you-had-to-have-a-superpower-other-than-your-own-country/326737/53 "2005-10-20T14:17:22Z")
> [@Rune](#): > > Well if your precious throat is too good for our letters, I guess you’ll just have to do without. > > A throat I mean. > > chop chop Did Nelson not smack you down good enough, or something? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-americans-if-you-had-to-have-a-superpower-other-than-your-own-country/326737/54 "2005-10-20T14:26:43Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > We sure did. We hit the Industrial Revolution first while careering onwards towards a mighty empire that promised to provide us with an abundance of raw materials to turn into manufactured goods, and we promptly turned that big advantage into building a mighty super-hi-tech armed juggernaut with which to crush every nation we set foot in, exterminate the natives in search of _lebensraum_ to relieve our rapidly-overcrowding island, and rinsed and repeated until we bestrode the world like a colossus and everyone had to do what we said, or else. you forgot plantations, crop siezures, absentee landlords, repression of rights, slavery. > [@](#): > > We wasted the opportunity to be architects, educators, lawgivers and civilisers, you did indeed. > [@](#): > > put an end to widow-burning, did you really? > [@](#): > > promote sanitation and health care, If you were rich enough to have it. > [@](#): > > build railways, roads, schools and hospitals, and so much else. > [@](#): > > Instead, like a particularly jumped-up version of the conquistadors, we raped all the invaded homelands of everything that wasn’t nailed down, sent in specially-trained crews with claw hammers to deal with the whole nailed-down situation, and guaranteed ourselves an infamous name in history. Have a wander around the British Museum to see how much was taken from countries, including things that were nailed down, like the Elgin Marbles. > [@](#): > > That’s why to this day every Indian you meet will spit upon the ground every time he has to mention Britain, for a start. Tut tut… did you not rid the colonies of their filthy uncivilised habits? > [@](#): > > But being from the place myself, I couldn’t have nominated them for the post anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Rune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e68b1a/32.png) [@Rune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rune)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-americans-if-you-had-to-have-a-superpower-other-than-your-own-country/326737/55 "2005-10-20T14:29:11Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Did Nelson not smack you down good enough, or something? :rolleyes: Hey! I think you’re falling behind on your Danegeld payments. I think it’s time to come round and pillage your village, rape your sisters and burn the church. Speaking of Iceland. Did you hear of the recent mitochondrial research showing that, what was it UselessGit, 60% of all original female settlers on Iceland (and Faeroe Island) were English and Irish? They used to swing by England to pick up a few good lasses on the way up north see. Good and wholesome tradition if you ask me. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-americans-if-you-had-to-have-a-superpower-other-than-your-own-country/326737/56 "2005-10-20T14:58:14Z")
> [@TwistofFate](#): > > \ Elgin Marbles? Museum pieces? We were amateurs next to the Conquistadors, my friend. The rest of your snivelling you can take to the Pit, if you want. As a world superpower, Britain wasn’t that bad compared to the alternatives. We even have a large immigrant Irish population, so the country can’t be hell on wheels altogether. This was _meant_ to be a thread in which some pleasant nationalist chaffing was going on. But there’s always someone who has to turn up to a snowball fight with a hunk of flint in his pocket, isn’t there? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-americans-if-you-had-to-have-a-superpower-other-than-your-own-country/326737/57 "2005-10-20T15:00:01Z")
> [@Rune](#): > > Hey! I think you’re falling behind on your Danegeld payments. I think it’s time to come round and pillage your village, rape your sisters and burn the church. > Speaking of Iceland. Did you hear of the recent mitochondrial research showing that, what was it UselessGit, 60% of all original female settlers on Iceland (and Faeroe Island) were English and Irish? They used to swing by England to pick up a few good lasses on the way up north see. Good and wholesome tradition if you ask me. Danegeld payments? _I’d_ willingly pay up for a spot of Dane-gelding. It’d do wonders for the European gene-pool. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-americans-if-you-had-to-have-a-superpower-other-than-your-own-country/326737/58 "2005-10-20T16:12:35Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Imperialist apologist claptrap snipped see how easy it is to ignore points? It’s great! Look. I’m not going to deny that Britain made great advances in science and industry in imperial times. but these great buildings that were designed, railways built etc. weren’t done for the good of the natives, they were done for the benefit of the British ruling class that was imposed. Modern Britain is a different animal altogether. It’s not without it’s faults, but it’s somewhere I quite like. And if having an aversion to Britains more shameful adventures in my country puts me in your “chip on shoulder” category, then so be it. I’m playing the world’s smallest violin right now to emphasise how much I care. ---
**Author:** ![gum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bbe5ce/32.png) [@gum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gum)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-americans-if-you-had-to-have-a-superpower-other-than-your-own-country/326737/59 "2005-10-21T04:59:52Z")
_I trust that non-EU members - by reading the above posts - now can see why the EU will never work… Let alone be a superpower._😃 ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-americans-if-you-had-to-have-a-superpower-other-than-your-own-country/326737/60 "2005-10-21T05:07:53Z")
> [@gum](#): > > _I trust that non-EU members - by reading the above posts - now can see why the EU will never work… Let alone be a superpower._😃 As an American, I looked at the start of the second page and went “what the hell is going on here?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-americans-if-you-had-to-have-a-superpower-other-than-your-own-country/326737.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-americans-if-you-had-to-have-a-superpower-other-than-your-own-country/326737.md?page=4)