# Non-Apology Apologies and why they don't help a goddamn thing **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 13, 2005, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-apology-apologies-and-why-they-dont-help-a-goddamn-thing/299187 "2005-04-13T20:55:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2005, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-apology-apologies-and-why-they-dont-help-a-goddamn-thing/299187/102 "2005-04-15T02:38:31Z")
> [@MinniePurl](#): > > \ When are the mods and admins going to learn to treat us like paying members? You know this isn’t a private, luxury country club, right? As far as I can tell, the mods here have no particular obligation to kiss paying member ass. They can’t be jerks, just like the rest of us, but beyond that, I don’t think they have to act like our staff. I could be wrong, of course. This is my interpretation of how things work around here. ---
**Author:** ![Good\_Egg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/96bed5/32.png) [@Good\_Egg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Good_Egg)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2005, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-apology-apologies-and-why-they-dont-help-a-goddamn-thing/299187/103 "2005-04-15T02:53:07Z")
Minnie. I have a blind date for you, his name’s Roland and I think you’ll like him. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2005, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-apology-apologies-and-why-they-dont-help-a-goddamn-thing/299187/104 "2005-04-15T03:11:43Z")
> [@Polerius](#): > > I guess **Lynn** and **Gaudere** need to agree on the policy then, don’t they? > > Unless, **Lynn** ’s statement, made on 02-27-2005, reflects the new rule, while **Gaudere** ’s statement, made on 05-04-2004, reflects the old rule. **Lynn** is refering to the poster while **Gaudere** is referring to the post. You appear to have fallen into the same trap that **Minnie** has. ---
**Author:** ![MinniePurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@MinniePurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MinniePurl)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2005, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-apology-apologies-and-why-they-dont-help-a-goddamn-thing/299187/105 "2005-04-15T03:14:02Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > I’m insulted by the implied homophobia in your post, and demand an apology. I’m not going to apologize, since I fully intended to insult you. I can assure you, however, that were you the straightest man who ever walked a straight line down a straight road, I’d still think just as little of you as I do now. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2005, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-apology-apologies-and-why-they-dont-help-a-goddamn-thing/299187/106 "2005-04-15T03:21:53Z")
> [@MinniePurl](#): > > I’m not going to apologize, since I fully intended to insult you. I can assure you, however, that were you the straightest man who ever walked a straight line down a straight road, I’d still think just as little of you as I do now. But you didn’t just insult me, you insulted all gay people everywhere. You filthy bigot. ---
**Author:** ![MinniePurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@MinniePurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MinniePurl)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2005, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-apology-apologies-and-why-they-dont-help-a-goddamn-thing/299187/107 "2005-04-15T03:37:31Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > You know this isn’t a private, luxury country club, right? As far as I can tell, the mods here have no particular obligation to kiss paying member ass. They can’t be jerks, just like the rest of us, but beyond that, I don’t think they have to act like our staff. > > I could be wrong, of course. This is my interpretation of how things work around here. Saying “You did WHAT? How asinine!” IS being a jerk. God knows if I went around saying “You did WHAT? How asinine!” outside the pit, I’d get told to stop being a jerk. Wanting a non-jerkish answer to a polite question does not constitute wanting my ass kissed. It’s expecting normal fucking customer service behavior. ---
**Author:** ![MinniePurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@MinniePurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MinniePurl)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2005, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-apology-apologies-and-why-they-dont-help-a-goddamn-thing/299187/108 "2005-04-15T03:42:55Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > But you didn’t just insult me, you insulted all gay people everywhere. You filthy bigot. Nope, I insulted three specific people. I don’t know how many of them are gay, how many of them are straight, how many of them are sexually oriented towards Ravenous Bugblatter Beasts of Traal. And, I don’t care. Not one little bit. I’m sorry you can’t seem to understand that. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2005, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-apology-apologies-and-why-they-dont-help-a-goddamn-thing/299187/109 "2005-04-15T03:47:34Z")
Getting this worked up over something this trivial? Holy cow, what kind of assinine thing is that to do? ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2005, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-apology-apologies-and-why-they-dont-help-a-goddamn-thing/299187/110 "2005-04-15T03:51:30Z")
> [@MinniePurl](#): > > Nope, I insulted three specific people. I don’t know how many of them are gay, how many of them are straight, how many of them are sexually oriented towards Ravenous Bugblatter Beasts of Traal. And, I don’t care. Not one little bit. I’m sorry you can’t seem to understand that. Sorry, but as you’ve so eloquently argued in this thread, intent doesn’t matter, only interpretation. I’ve decided that your post makes you a homophobe, so a homophobe you are. ---
**Author:** ![MinniePurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@MinniePurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MinniePurl)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2005, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-apology-apologies-and-why-they-dont-help-a-goddamn-thing/299187/111 "2005-04-15T04:02:40Z")
> [@Little Nemo](#): > > Getting this worked up over something this trivial? Holy cow, what kind of assinine thing is that to do? It’s not simply about one guy being a jerk to me on a message board. It’s that I paid to access this message board, plus the guy being a jerk to me is a board official, plus his being a jerk was utterly unprovoked, plus the board administration seems to think that in general, admins being unprovoked jerks to people is A-OK and nothing to worry about. Fuck that. Also… hey, when you said that, were you meaning to be complimentary? Because according to some of the people in this thread, you were. Or at least, if you were Dex, you would have. ---
**Author:** ![DMC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dmc/32/18049_2.png) [@DMC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMC)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2005, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-apology-apologies-and-why-they-dont-help-a-goddamn-thing/299187/112 "2005-04-15T04:04:35Z")
> [@MinniePurl](#): > > So, in whatever language you speak, characterising an act as “a stupid thing to do” does NOT mean that the persons who commit that act are, in your opinion, stupid? So, if I say “Choosing the name ‘Lute Skywatcher’ is a moronic thing to do”, I have NOT just called you a moron? Nope. If that were the case, then if you ever accidentally did or said anything smart, you’d be a smart person. We all know better than that now, so the logic doesn’t hold up. Nice try, though. ---
**Author:** ![MinniePurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@MinniePurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MinniePurl)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2005, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-apology-apologies-and-why-they-dont-help-a-goddamn-thing/299187/113 "2005-04-15T04:05:48Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Sorry, but as you’ve so eloquently argued in this thread, intent doesn’t matter, only interpretation. I’ve decided that your post makes you a homophobe, so a homophobe you are. Well tell me, what part of what I said was homophobic? The part about Knob Gobbling? Is gobbling knobs exclusively the province of gay men now? Because if so, my husband is going to be REAL dissapointed. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2005, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-apology-apologies-and-why-they-dont-help-a-goddamn-thing/299187/114 "2005-04-15T04:31:15Z")
> [@MinniePurl](#): > > […] dissapointed. One S, two Ps. You really should try replying to every post with a “You did WHAT?! That is so _asinine_!!1111oneone”, if only for the entertainment value of the whole thing. That’d be hilarious, seriously. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2005, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-apology-apologies-and-why-they-dont-help-a-goddamn-thing/299187/115 "2005-04-15T04:36:47Z")
> [@MinniePurl](#): > > Well tell me, what part of what I said was homophobic? The part about Knob Gobbling? Is gobbling knobs exclusively the province of gay men now? Getting an idea of how foolish you sound yet? ---
**Author:** ![MinniePurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@MinniePurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MinniePurl)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2005, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-apology-apologies-and-why-they-dont-help-a-goddamn-thing/299187/116 "2005-04-15T05:22:01Z")
This is all bullshit. As I said before, it’s not going to accomplish anything. Some mods are still going to be jerks to people for asking a polite question. A bunch of you idiots are going to defend him for it. The board administration will not care. I’ve decided not to renew, so not much reason for me to care either. My gift to all the assholes in this thread. Enjoy your little cesspit. Mods, go ahead and close this thread. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-apology-apologies-and-why-they-dont-help-a-goddamn-thing/299187.md?page=5)