# Non-Christians: What is your relationship to Christmas? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 8, 2009, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-christians-what-is-your-relationship-to-christmas/520513 "2009-12-08T21:29:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![scareyfaerie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scareyfaerie/32/3135_2.png) [@scareyfaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scareyfaerie)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-christians-what-is-your-relationship-to-christmas/520513/21 "2009-12-09T11:49:24Z")
I’m an atheist but was raised by quasi-Christian parents. They weren’t churchgoers but sent the kids to Sunday school, probably as a means of getting a few hours’ peace and quiet. I stopped going anywhere near church as soon as I was able to, I reckoned they didn’t really need me sitting there decrying it all as a load of rubbish. **-When you were a child, did you celebrate Christmas in any way?** We had the tree, presents, big turkey dinner, visited relatives etc but there wasn’t much mention of the biblical stuff at all. **-Did you believe in Santa, or were you told that he was a myth that other kids believe?** It was ok to believe in Santa for as long as we wanted to, once we were old enough to know it wasn’t real then it was accepted that we just knew. **-As an adult, do you celebrate in any way?** Not really. My partner is not a big fan of the whole xmas thing, and we both hate the forced gaiety and rampant commercialism that modern xmas has become. We don’t have decorations at home because we have cats who would gleefullly destroy all the pretty shiny things, and then want to know why their toys don’t work any more. Oddly enough, one thing I do like is the crappy soppy xmas films - I suppose it is something designed to restore faith the the myth of human kindness. Y’know, that warm fuzzy feeling…or maybe that’s just too much festive champagne! **-If you have kids, what do you tell them?** No kids, but I do tell the cats that they have to be good or they’ll get a visit from Satan Claws and he’ll eat all their catnip. ---
**Author:** ![SecondJudith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@SecondJudith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SecondJudith)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-christians-what-is-your-relationship-to-christmas/520513/22 "2009-12-09T11:59:23Z")
Reform Jew here. My grandfather and aunt are both rabbis, so my family usually hosted at least one enormous donuts-and-latkes candle-lighting party for our shul at Hanukkah, with chocolates for the kids and mulled wine and whisky for the grown-ups. Never celebrated Christmas, never believed in Santa (although I was also told not to tell the goyim THE TRUTH about him). My parents and I keep the “big Hanukkah piss-up” tradition going today. I don’t commemorate Christmas at all. I don’t have children, but if I did, I would include them in the family Hanukkah traditions that I grew up in. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-christians-what-is-your-relationship-to-christmas/520513/23 "2009-12-09T12:01:54Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > Conservative Jew here. > > My parents NEVER celebrated Christmas. I was told Santa was a myth but not to tell the goyim children. > > These days, my family celebrates Christmas by seeing a movie together and then going to an all you can eat Chinese restaurant. Same here, except raised Reform, mostly atheist now, and the Chinese restaurant isn’t a buffet. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-christians-what-is-your-relationship-to-christmas/520513/24 "2009-12-09T13:54:04Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > -When you were a child, did you celebrate Christmas in any way? I was raised Catholic; now, whether you consider that ‘Christian’ or not is up to you, but yes, we certainly celebrated Christmas. The hoopla often started weeks in advance with baking _way too many_ Christmas cookies. (My bipolar mother would often fly into such rages over the cookie baking-which _she_ insisted on-that it spoiled cookie baking for the holidays for me; now, when we bake Christmas cookies, we buy pre-made dough; this year, I’m paying a tenant to bake for us). > [@](#): > > -Did you believe in Santa, or were you told that he was a myth that other kids believe? Yes, we were taught to believe in Santa. > [@](#): > > -As an adult, do you celebrate in any way? Yes. Even though I’m Baha’i and my hubby is atheist, we celebrate it as a secular holiday that is a wonderful opportunity to do things we enjoy (put up and decorate a tree; get presents) and show others charity and love. We give presents to underprivileged kids, exchange gifts with other people we love. We also get to have big dinner, and gather with family we don’t always get to spend much time with. I believe this year, my two oldest daughters and their SOs are coming here to WV to spend a few days with us. > [@](#): > > -If you have kids, what do you tell them? I tell my youngest that Christmas, whether you are Christian or not, should serve as a reminder that not everyone is as fortunate as we are, and should use it as a time to express charity, love, and further the idea of peace. ---
**Author:** ![Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superfluous_Parentheses)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-christians-what-is-your-relationship-to-christmas/520513/25 "2009-12-09T14:06:47Z")
First off, I grew up in a non-religious household, but my grandparents were all Catholics. > [@tdn](#): > > -When you were a child, did you celebrate Christmas in any way? We visited my grandparents and had a big dinner. I think I went to mass once or twice when I was around 10; my mother went with her mother and I was curious. > [@](#): > > -Did you believe in Santa, or were you told that he was a myth that other kids believe? We don’t do Santa over here. I did believe in [Sinterklaas](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sinterklaas), though. > [@](#): > > -As an adult, do you celebrate in any way? It’s just a reason to visit my parents and - again - have one or two nice dinners with friends and/or family. I don’t do trees and I usually don’t send out cards either. I like the Christmas Oratorio, though. > [@](#): > > -If you have kids, what do you tell them? Don’t have any. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-christians-what-is-your-relationship-to-christmas/520513/26 "2009-12-09T14:22:05Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > -When you were a child, did you celebrate Christmas in any way? Yes, of course. Same way everyone else did: tree, decorations, presents, good food. Christianity has absolutely nothing to do with christmas. > [@](#): > > -Did you believe in Santa, or were you told that he was a myth that other kids believe? When i was very little, i think i figured out it was my parents all along when i was no older than five or so. > [@](#): > > -As an adult, do you celebrate in any way? Yup, same way as i did as a kid. Still don’t understand what not being christian has to do with it. > [@](#): > > -If you have kids, what do you tell them? About what? Santa? i guess i’d play along with the whole Santa thing if it made them happy. ---
**Author:** ![SecondJudith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@SecondJudith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SecondJudith)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-christians-what-is-your-relationship-to-christmas/520513/27 "2009-12-09T14:24:33Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > Yes, of course. Same way everyone else did: tree, decorations, presents, good food. Christianity has absolutely nothing to do with christmas. This isn’t true. You could say that you have decided to celebrate it without coding it as a sacred holiday, though. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-christians-what-is-your-relationship-to-christmas/520513/28 "2009-12-09T14:53:47Z")
I was raised Jewish. \* -When you were a child, did you celebrate Christmas in any way?\*Yes. We had a tree and gifts – just my brothers and my parents. It was separate from Chanukah, which was for the extended family. \*-Did you believe in Santa, or were you told that he was a myth that other kids believe?\*I believed at some point; we were definitely told about him, and I remember my brother believing. \*-As an adult, do you celebrate in any way?\*Sure – presents under a tree. \*-If you have kids, what do you tell them?\*Nothing. We went to Chanukah celebrations on my side of the family, a Christmas eve celebration with my in-laws (not Jewish), and finally presents under the tree in the morning. Lisa was the only child in history who always wanted to sleep late on Christmas morning, even when she believed, because she had been celebrating with presents ever since her birthday in mid-November. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-christians-what-is-your-relationship-to-christmas/520513/29 "2009-12-09T14:54:51Z")
I was raised as a half-assed Hindu. We had a Christmas tree, because we lived in Britain and my mother did not want to deprive my brother and I of the Santa rubbish that the other children got to enjoy, basically. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-christians-what-is-your-relationship-to-christmas/520513/30 "2009-12-09T14:58:20Z")
> [@SecondJudith](#): > > This isn’t true. You could say that you have decided to celebrate it without coding it as a sacred holiday, though. Or you could say that you celebrate it by coding it as a sacred holiday, which would be more accurate :). ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-christians-what-is-your-relationship-to-christmas/520513/31 "2009-12-09T15:00:50Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > Yes, of course. Same way everyone else did: tree, decorations, presents, good food. Christianity has absolutely nothing to do with christmas. Christ’s birthday has nothing to do with Christianity? Sorry, I don’t mean to hijack this, so I might make another thread about this, but is this really a common interpretation of it? I know it’s gotten really secular and all, but for a lot of people I’m sure it is very much about spirituality. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-christians-what-is-your-relationship-to-christmas/520513/32 "2009-12-09T15:05:36Z")
Christmas has nothing to do with Christ’s birthday. There is a religious observance on Christmas Day which is largely ignored by the general public. There is also a secular holiday on Christmas Day which was originally for the purpose of religious observance but is now for the purpose of stuffing oneself and watching football and getting into fights with family. It was _a bit_ different in the UK - in addition to Christmas movies and such, there was also religiously-themed programming on TV - but even there Chrismas was more about the weather and presents and food. ---
**Author:** ![SecondJudith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@SecondJudith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SecondJudith)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-christians-what-is-your-relationship-to-christmas/520513/33 "2009-12-09T15:12:47Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > Or you could say that you celebrate it by coding it as a sacred holiday, which would be more accurate :). I don’t celebrate it at all. Read the thread. ---
**Author:** ![dolphinboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dolphinboy/32/330_2.png) [@dolphinboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dolphinboy)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-christians-what-is-your-relationship-to-christmas/520513/34 "2009-12-09T16:14:48Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Yes, it _does_ make sense. I’m another half-and-half here and I’ve been told all my live it doesn’t make sense but I’m telling you it DOES. Virtually every half-and-half I know would agree with that sentiment. Sorry Broomstick, I didn’t mean to sound insensitive. It somehow makes sense to my daughter, but it never made sense to me. My brother’s family is even a more extreme example. His wife is a devote Catholic, and he is nominally Jewish. His son, my nephew, is now 23 and has a dual religious identity. He was baptized and confirmed in the Catholic church, yet attended a Jewish fraternity and otherwise identifies as Jewish. I would be uncomfortable with this level of duality and wonder what faith he would chose if he was forced to pick one over the other. Can someone really be equally Catholic and Jewish at the same time? It seems like he would have to pick one or the other at some point, but if you really believe the Catholic doctrine how can you also believe the Jewish doctrine? They don’t seem compatible with each other. This contradiction would tear me apart, but apparently others are okay with not worrying about any contradictions. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-christians-what-is-your-relationship-to-christmas/520513/35 "2009-12-09T16:28:03Z")
“Jewish” is as much an ethnic identity as a religious one. You don’t have to accept any of the precepts of Judaism to be a Jew. Now, if he attends both a church and a synagogue, and believes Jesus is the messiah and also that’s there’s a messiah coming… yeah, that’s odd. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-christians-what-is-your-relationship-to-christmas/520513/36 "2009-12-09T16:36:54Z")
'Twas raised Hindu and my parents did the whole thing, presents, tree, so that I wouldn’t feel like more of an outsider, and to help with the assimilation. ---
**Author:** ![dolphinboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dolphinboy/32/330_2.png) [@dolphinboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dolphinboy)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-christians-what-is-your-relationship-to-christmas/520513/37 "2009-12-09T16:49:26Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > “Jewish” is as much an ethnic identity as a religious one. You don’t have to accept any of the precepts of Judaism to be a Jew.. Really? Is that a commonly held belief? I knew you could be a non-practicing Jew, but I didn’t know you could be “Jewish” without believing at least nominally in Judaism. [QUOTE=] Now, if he attends both a church and a synagogue, and believes Jesus is the messiah and also that’s there’s a messiah coming… yeah, that’s odd. [/QUOTE] Well, I don’t think he attends either at the moment, but once he meets a girl, and decides to get married, it’s going to be interesting to see where that happens. ---
**Author:** ![SecondJudith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@SecondJudith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SecondJudith)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-christians-what-is-your-relationship-to-christmas/520513/38 "2009-12-09T17:18:55Z")
Interestingly, most Jews these days who “marry out” marry Roman Catholics. To me, that seems to say something about the compatibility of the two religious lifestyles. ---
**Author:** ![dolphinboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dolphinboy/32/330_2.png) [@dolphinboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dolphinboy)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-christians-what-is-your-relationship-to-christmas/520513/39 "2009-12-09T17:26:46Z")
> [@SecondJudith](#): > > Interestingly, most Jews these days who “marry out” marry Roman Catholics. To me, that seems to say something about the compatibility of the two religious lifestyles. I once was bold enough to ask my brother (Jewish) and my SIL (devote Catholic) about whether they used birth control or not. They said that of course they did, and when I mentioned that birth control was not sanctioned by the Catholic Church my SIL just laughed and changed the subject. So I guess if you have a flexible enough belief system any religion can be compatible with any other religion. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-christians-what-is-your-relationship-to-christmas/520513/40 "2009-12-09T17:40:41Z")
I’m Jewish by origin, raised in a secular household with Jewish cultural traditions, and atheistically Buddhist by philosophy as an adult. -When you were a child, did you celebrate Christmas in any way? No. We lit a menorah and had 7 small presents (e.g., attractive pencils, socks) and a larger gift on the 8th night (e.g., a board game, stuffed animal, or two paperbacks). -Did you believe in Santa, or were you told that he was a myth that other kids believe? I was told that Santa was a myth and that it was not my place to tell other children that. -As an adult, do you celebrate in any way? My family of origin exchanges gifts at Thanksgiving since we’re all together; my in-laws exchange gifts on Christmas, and my partner and I exchange gifts at Solstice. I sometimes light a menorah. When I’ve lived with people who celebrate Christmas, we’ve had a tree. Because I have no childhood baggage about the tree (e.g., drunken daddy swearing about the stand or anxious mommy whining that you’re clumping all the green bals), it is usually my job to put up the tree and correct the distribution of ornaments. My partner likes to have a tree, so we do. We don’t have religious ornaments except one tin angel from Mexico, but we typically have a gold sun at the top. We acquire one or two new ornaments each year, either as gifts or for ourselves, which underscores the sentimental nature of our decorations. This year we found a Delft Star of David with scenes of Dutch life on it in Amsterdam, so that is this year’s addition. I enjoy it but do not see it as a secular symbol. When I’ve lived alone, I haven’t had a tree. -If you have kids, what do you tell them? We don’t, but if we did, I imagine we’d celebrate both holidays and talk about the religious traditions that they derive from, though neither of us believes in those religions. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-christians-what-is-your-relationship-to-christmas/520513.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-christians-what-is-your-relationship-to-christmas/520513.md?page=3)