# Non-Human characters you'd date **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 30, 2006, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-human-characters-youd-date/370763 "2006-08-30T06:29:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![cbawlmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cbawlmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cbawlmer)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-human-characters-youd-date/370763/41 "2006-08-30T21:43:35Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] \*Date \*him? No. Have wild crazy hot violent floorboard shattering monkey sex with him? Oh yeah! [/QUOTE] Yeah, I forgot the operative word in the OP was “date”, and clearly was thinking of a different verb. But I don’t know…a little light, consensual stalking might be okay. 😉 However, I would actually date G’Kar. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-human-characters-youd-date/370763/42 "2006-08-30T21:50:05Z")
I, and most straight men of my generation in the UK, wanted to date the [Cadbury’s Caramel Bunny](http://www.visit4info.com/sitecontent/LG/fullZZZZZZTVICL0814001936PIC.jpg). She was highly sexy - in particular her very seductive voice. Unlike many of my peers, however, my infatuation ended when I discovered the voice-over artiste was [Miriam Margolyes](http://www.thehairstyler.com/images/celebrity/Celebrity_1407.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-human-characters-youd-date/370763/43 "2006-08-30T21:53:34Z")
Sheesh, I ask about nonhumans-become-human, and I forget about Minerva the computer, whom I mentioned in the other current thread. And to throw in a bit of pervy hobbit fancying, I’ll mention Rosie Cotton (but Sam would kill me if I tried anything), and Lidda, the halfling rogue from the 3rd edition D&D rulebooks. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-human-characters-youd-date/370763/44 "2006-08-30T21:56:12Z")
[QUOTE=Chronos] Sheesh, I ask about nonhumans-become-human, and I forget about Minerva the computer, whom I mentioned in the other current thread. And to throw in a bit of pervy hobbit fancying, I’ll mention Rosie Cotton (but Sam would kill me if I tried anything), and Lidda, the halfling rogue from the 3rd edition D&D rulebooks. [/QUOTE] I mentioned Minerva first. 😉 But Rosie Cotton I don’t get; she’s basically a cipher in the books. Plus being only 3 &1/2 feet tall, she’d be kind of…um…skeevy in bed. Or, rather, I’d feel skeevy in bed with her. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-human-characters-youd-date/370763/45 "2006-08-30T21:58:24Z")
Demona the gargoyle. She has serious problems, especially concerning relationships. This would help her fit right in with the last few women I dated. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-human-characters-youd-date/370763/46 "2006-08-30T22:12:26Z")
Drusilla, another woman with the problems. I’d introduce myself with “Your eyes are so pretty that I want to tear them out and keep them with me always.” Thus would begin a whirlwind romance that would end when we realized we wanted different things. “But I DO love children!” “I don’t mean to eat!” “But, wot else are they good for?” ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-human-characters-youd-date/370763/47 "2006-08-30T22:30:10Z")
Gadget Hackwrench. 'Nuff said. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-human-characters-youd-date/370763/48 "2006-08-30T23:06:59Z")
Cmdr. Worf. He can make my neck ache anytime! ---
**Author:** ![Bill\_Door](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@Bill\_Door](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_Door)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-human-characters-youd-date/370763/49 "2006-08-30T23:14:12Z")
I am way too old to admit this, but when I watched Thundercats with my children I always enjoyed Cheetara. ---
**Author:** ![Kilvert\_s\_Pagan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@Kilvert\_s\_Pagan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilvert_s_Pagan)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-human-characters-youd-date/370763/50 "2006-08-30T23:20:18Z")
Obscure “literary” reference: **Chworktap**. She’s even on the cover of the book. Woof. Heinlein’s **Friday** would work for me too, but then it could be argued that she’s human after all. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-human-characters-youd-date/370763/51 "2006-08-31T02:41:36Z")
I’m torn between two \*Star Trek \*characters: **Spock** , who probably wouldn’t be ready for sex for a few years, but the wait would be worth it. And **Data** , who, AFAIK, hasn’t had sex with a guy yet. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-human-characters-youd-date/370763/52 "2006-08-31T02:54:00Z")
[QUOTE=Nightingale] I opened this thread specifically so I could mention Justin, from _Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of Nihm_, and I see that not one but TWO posters already beat me too it. Darn, On the other hand, I now feel slightly less weird for having a crush on a rat. [/QUOTE] Given that my username is pretty much an homage to the Secret of NYMH… How _you all_ doing? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-human-characters-youd-date/370763/53 "2006-08-31T03:19:18Z")
[QUOTE=Kilvert’s Pagan] Obscure “literary” reference: **Chworktap**. She’s even on the cover of the book. Woof. Heinlein’s **Friday** would work for me too, but then it could be argued that she’s human after all. [/QUOTE] Argued, hell. Friday is entirely human; there’s not a bit of her DNA that didn’t come from a member of _Homo sapiens_. She’s just engineered. The picture on the front of the paperback is all wrong, though, so I hope you’re not basing it on that. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-human-characters-youd-date/370763/54 "2006-08-31T03:33:54Z")
> [@](#): > > But Rosie Cotton I don’t get; she’s basically a cipher in the books. Plus being only 3 &1/2 feet tall, she’d be kind of…um…skeevy in bed. Or, rather, I’d feel skeevy in bed with her. I’m slightly embarassed to say this, as a hard-core fan of the books, but I was thinking of the incredibly cute movie portrayal. And the height thing wouldn’t be nearly as much of an issue as with, say, Justin or Gadget. And I must admit an attraction to Gadget Hackwrench, as well (I actually remembered her before I saw **Ranchoth** ’s post there). I guess that rodents are OK, as long as they’re smart rodents. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-human-characters-youd-date/370763/55 "2006-08-31T05:40:18Z")
Sure, Leela, 7 of 9, bring 'em on. And how about the [Orion Slave Girl?](http://memory-alpha.org/en/images/thumb/c/ca/Orion_slavegirl_ENT.jpg/150px-Orion_slavegirl_ENT.jpg) Oh, I’d “date” her. And I’d, um, date Pink from [Dragon Pink.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dragon_Pink) But even more I’d date Carrere from Viper GTS, and since none of the links I can find are safe for work or even close to it, I’m just gonna give you a link to my review Viper GTS which is very much NSFW, but the link’s disabled, so it doesn’t violate board policy. Here 'tis: [http://www.hentairevue.com/NOTSAFEFORWUSSIEShentaireviews/reviews/vipergtsanime/vipergtsadultanime.html](http://www.hentairevue.com/NOTSAFEFORWUSSIEShentaireviews/reviews/vipergtsanime/vipergtsadultanime.html) I’d also be a proud man if Dejah Thoris, Princess of Mars, would date me, and someday perhaps bear my egg. There’s a really nice piece of art by Frank Cho, but it’s NSFW like about everything else nowadays, so here’s a disabled link: [http://www.comicartcommunity.com/NOTSAFEFORWUSSIESgallery/details.php?image\_id=15111&sessionid=1cc7de87](http://www.comicartcommunity.com/NOTSAFEFORWUSSIESgallery/details.php?image_id=15111&sessionid=1cc7de87) ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-human-characters-youd-date/370763/56 "2006-08-31T05:57:56Z")
Well, that last link sure as hell didn’t work. Lemme try it again Frank Cho’s vision of Dejah Thoris, Princess of Mars, not safe for work: [http://www.comicartcommunity.com/NOTSAFEFORWUSSIESgallery/details.php?image\_id=15111&sessionid=1cc7de87](http://www.comicartcommunity.com/NOTSAFEFORWUSSIESgallery/details.php?image_id=15111&sessionid=1cc7de87) ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-human-characters-youd-date/370763/57 "2006-08-31T12:49:25Z")
Brittany Diggers. She’s the tall one, on the left. [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:GoldDigger1.jpg](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:GoldDigger1.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Lobelia\_Overhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@Lobelia\_Overhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobelia_Overhill)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-human-characters-youd-date/370763/58 "2006-08-31T13:29:14Z")
Richard B. Riddick ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-human-characters-youd-date/370763/59 "2006-08-31T14:07:25Z")
[QUOTE=Lips\_Obsession] I have to second Seven of Nine…especially in her later Voyager episodes holo-fantasies fancy duds… [/QUOTE] I was thinking more of _out_ of those duds. How could I have overlooked **Kes** …dead in 8 years maybe but woohoo what an 8 years I’d have 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-human-characters-youd-date/370763/60 "2006-08-31T16:32:49Z")
[QUOTE=chowder] I was thinking more of _out_ of those duds. How could I have overlooked **Kes** …dead in 8 years maybe but woohoo what an 8 years I’d have 😃 [/QUOTE] Well, she’s going to be middle aged by her fourth birthday and elderly by 6, so maybe not so long. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-human-characters-youd-date/370763.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-human-characters-youd-date/370763.md?page=4)