# Non-Parent Dopers: What Advice Do You Have for Parents? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 22, 2013, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-parent-dopers-what-advice-do-you-have-for-parents/671902 "2013-10-22T02:48:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Soylent\_Juicy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2013, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-parent-dopers-what-advice-do-you-have-for-parents/671902/101 "2013-10-24T15:46:47Z")
> [@Silvorange](#): > > Here’s one I learned the hard way while working in daycare: don’t lift or swing little kids by their hands or arms. It’s easier than you think to[dislocate or break their elbows](http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nursemaid_elbow). Oh my God, this. When I was about 4 I was throwing a tantrum and my mom grabbed my arm and at the same time I threw myself backwards. Apparently my cry went from “bratty” to “in pain”. It was only a pulled muscle but thank God it happened in the olden days when abuse wasn’t automatically suspected. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2013, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-parent-dopers-what-advice-do-you-have-for-parents/671902/102 "2013-10-24T15:54:17Z")
Keep your passport up to date and in a place you kids and spouse can’t find it. ---
**Author:** ![Krouget](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b38774/32.png) [@Krouget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krouget)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2013, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-parent-dopers-what-advice-do-you-have-for-parents/671902/103 "2013-10-24T16:16:30Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > It was a very, very trying experience. I love them more than anything, and did what I needed to do but the change in lifestyle was enormous. HUGE! UNFATHOMABLE even. And then to reduce it all to a one or two sentence piece of advice from someone who hasn’t been there seems grossly unfair to me. Walk a mile in my shoes and all that. I completely get that, and understand where you’re coming from. Like I said, it’s a second full-time job (or primary), so you shouldn’t ever feel minimized in that duty. Cheers! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2013, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-parent-dopers-what-advice-do-you-have-for-parents/671902/104 "2013-10-24T19:04:52Z")
> [@Silvorange](#): > > Here’s one I learned the hard way while working in daycare: don’t lift or swing little kids by their hands or arms. It’s easier than you think to[dislocate or break their elbows](http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nursemaid_elbow). This is good advice for anyone, parent or not. My son’s elbow dislocated from me swinging him by his arms, more than once apparently. The first time he complained a little but the pain “went away.” The second or third time I mentioned it to the doctor and then I learned that how easily they can dislocate. Now, kids are rubbery beasts, so a dislocation isn’t necessarily as severe as it would be in an adult but still, dislocating my son’s arm is almost as bad as the time I stuck his head in the ceiling fan. So let me also recommend not doing that. ---
**Author:** ![James\_Toothpaste](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e56c9b/32.png) [@James\_Toothpaste](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/James_Toothpaste)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2013, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-parent-dopers-what-advice-do-you-have-for-parents/671902/105 "2013-10-24T19:12:12Z")
> [@shiftless](#): > > This is good advice for anyone, parent or not. My son’s elbow dislocated from me swinging him by his arms, more than once apparently. The first time he complained a little but the pain “went away.” The second or third time I mentioned it to the doctor and then I learned that how easily they can dislocate. Now, kids are rubbery beasts, so a dislocation isn’t necessarily as severe as it would be in an adult but still, dislocating my son’s arm is almost as bad as the time I stuck his head in the ceiling fan. So let me also recommend not doing that. +1 ---
**Author:** ![Translucent\_Daydream](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/translucent_daydream/32/16170_2.png) [@Translucent\_Daydream](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Translucent_Daydream)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2013, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-parent-dopers-what-advice-do-you-have-for-parents/671902/106 "2013-10-25T02:26:43Z")
I see a lot of parents trying to make up for things that they didn’t get to do or have with their children. It never seems to make the child happy. A lot of parenting I see seems to be based on fixing what was wrong with the parents’ upbringing, not really focused on the child at hand. My brother is so guilty of this, he shared the closet of a bedroom with his other two brothers as THEIR bedroom. He literally had NOTHING. His kids have everything, and have no idea what the value of money is. Something wonky with your laptop? Fuck it, break it in half and get daddy to buy you a new one. Its that simple. These kids cannot mow the damn yard, and they are now in their mid teens. I was already working as a mechanic at their age, and driving, and writing checks, paying bills. When my mother was their age, she was married with kids of her own… And I would add that you can have plenty of parenting experience without being a parent yourself. Especially if you have to raise your loser brother’s newborn baby because he has been in jail since the child was born and the loser he knocked up is jacked to hell on meth and hasn’t been seen since babbydaddy got busted. Shit happens. You don’t have to do the deed to be laden with the responsibility of parenting, trust me. ---
**Author:** ![vontsira](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/51bf81/32.png) [@vontsira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vontsira)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2013, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-parent-dopers-what-advice-do-you-have-for-parents/671902/107 "2013-10-25T14:37:38Z")
> [@Athena](#): > > So nobody who hasn’t actually experienced something can have good ideas about the topic? Come on, that’s simply not true. There’s not ONE idea in this thread from a childless person that maybe some parents should take into account? I’m not buyin’ it. > [@MeanOldLady](#): > > I say it’s not a good idea to drown your children. But I’m not a parent, so feel free to drown away! Well, sometimes I wonder. See below, “Ruthless Rhyme” from some 100 years ago; which has always rather tickled me (non-parent, non-child-lover, horrid callous so-and-so): Father heard his children scream, So he threw them in the stream; Saying, as he drowned the third, “Children should be seen, not heard”. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2013, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-parent-dopers-what-advice-do-you-have-for-parents/671902/108 "2013-10-25T17:10:13Z")
> [@Translucent\_Daydream](#): > > You don’t have to do the deed to be laden with the responsibility of parenting, trust me. I think being the primary caregiver of a child for a long period, whatever the circumstances, counts as parenting. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-parent-dopers-what-advice-do-you-have-for-parents/671902.md?page=5)