# Non Sequiturs

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-sequiturs/193081>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [August 5, 2003, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-sequiturs/193081 "2003-08-05T12:18:59Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 6

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**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\
**Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-sequiturs/193081/101 "2003-08-08T03:18:13Z")

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I suspect that Milwaukee is about to implode.

Let’s have rum punch, and then TP the homes of all the Dopers who live in New Jersey.

The same as it ever was.

French-Canadian bean soup, anyone?

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**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\
**Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-sequiturs/193081/102 "2003-08-08T03:37:36Z")

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Y’know since Superman’s only vulnerability is kryptonite and lead stops kryptonite rays, he could make himself totally invulnerable by wearing a lead suit all the time. It would be heavy, but Superman has super-strength, he could handle it.

Why doesn’t he do it? My guess is that it’s because it would get pretty stinky in there pretty fast, and Superman has super smelling abilities, so it would undoubtedly bother him a lot. Then again, he’s probably also super-tough about such things. Which brings us to the question, could Superman make a smell that was so bad even he couldn’t stand it?

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**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\
**Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-sequiturs/193081/103 "2003-08-08T03:48:38Z")

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If Daniel K. Ludwig could have yodeled, would I have a yacht?

Sometimes, a dead duck does fly backwards.

Can’t you see it, Willy?

But not for me.

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**Author:** ![SlickRoenick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e68b1a/32.png) [@SlickRoenick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlickRoenick)\
**Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-sequiturs/193081/104 "2003-08-08T07:57:41Z")

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What’s a non sequitur?

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**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\
**Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-sequiturs/193081/105 "2003-08-08T12:42:26Z")

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Yippee! Over 100 posts to this ridiculous concept. Will it ever end?

Going on 1000 views to boot.

Fishing is no fun for the fish, geese fly in V formation because Q would look funny, and lettuce rarely needs to be trimmed with a chain saw, although it does shred quicker that way.

Follow your dream or it may follow you.

Listen to the silence. Weird isn’t it?

Can you spell “split” without any letters? Why would you want to?

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**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\
**Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-sequiturs/193081/106 "2003-08-08T13:32:47Z")

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Menthol cigarettes are only an acceptable substitute if someone originally wanted gum.

The tickle factor is considerably higher when one wears a Hawaiian shirt.

Tequila and pickle juice do not a good cocktail make.

And that’s the anticlimactic story for the day.

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**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\
**Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-sequiturs/193081/107 "2003-08-08T14:12:55Z")

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Captain Culpepper would have kept his money if he had been more subtle about the way he took it.

Am I the walrus?

Craig Stadler stole the Crown Jewels, and is hiding them in a lake in Northern Nevada.

George Carlin is about to retire; the result of crippling injuries he suffered when he fell off his unicycle.

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**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\
**Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-sequiturs/193081/108 "2003-08-08T14:25:23Z")

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Giving week old toast to people on special occasions shows them how much you care for them. It takes a bit of logic and trust but it is plain once you see:

1. Person likes bread enough to have it around
2. Person has some use for electricity enough to have something that will make toast (although evidence could be provided that shows this toast was not created from an electrical device)
3. Person likes to save things and isn’t randomly wasteful
4. Person wants to show that it’s the little things that count
5. Only week old toast fits all these criteria
6. Q.E.D.

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**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\
**Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-sequiturs/193081/109 "2003-08-08T14:31:09Z")

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My best friend’s grampa can rip phone books in half.

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**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\
**Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-sequiturs/193081/110 "2003-08-08T15:24:47Z")

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My best friend’s sister’s dog chews bricks.

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**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\
**Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-sequiturs/193081/111 "2003-08-08T18:07:33Z")

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Protesting can be a good thing. Indiana managed to have its legislature decree that **PI** = 3. No need for all that math nonsense and that long string of decimals. Just 3, plain and simple. And if that wasn’t an ideal form of the will of the people, there has to be a better one somewhere.

Maybe we could get some movement to help repeal the law of gravity. That should help with the air traffic problems.

I personally wish we could do something about the weather, and maybe a Million Man March could be a good start.

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**Author:** ![Greenback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/2bfe46/32.png) [@Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greenback)\
**Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-sequiturs/193081/112 "2003-08-08T18:48:48Z")

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“…then there was the potato incident. But I’m feeling much better now” - Night court, Harry’s dad whose name I can’t think of right now.

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**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\
**Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-sequiturs/193081/113 "2003-08-08T20:33:48Z")

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Lida Rose, I’m home again, Rose.

Rose from the dead, and had a good time.

Who the (bleep) bought Grateful Dead albums?

This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System.

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**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\
**Post date:** [August 9, 2003, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-sequiturs/193081/114 "2003-08-09T01:16:46Z")

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So I don’t know if it is a childhood trauma, or just a loss of archives … but by the time I Was old enough to hear all those lyrics my dad said he’d tell me when I was older … he couldn’t remember them

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**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\
**Post date:** [August 9, 2003, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-sequiturs/193081/115 "2003-08-09T01:29:16Z")

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So, Remember Elephant jokes?

Why?

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**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\
**Post date:** [August 9, 2003, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-sequiturs/193081/116 "2003-08-09T01:32:01Z")

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Greenback, his name was “Buddy.” and they never did explain what happened in “The potato incident…”

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**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\
**Post date:** [August 9, 2003, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-sequiturs/193081/117 "2003-08-09T01:34:34Z")

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Bought a box of California Wild flower seeds and put them in the garden,  
Turns out I’d paid $6 for some NAsTy A\*\* weeds that flower, but never go away … ever …

nope

nope

nope

still not gone…

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**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\
**Post date:** [August 9, 2003, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-sequiturs/193081/118 "2003-08-09T01:49:15Z")

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When, in the course of human events?  
When?

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**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\
**Post date:** [August 9, 2003, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-sequiturs/193081/119 "2003-08-09T13:53:21Z")

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Seven is one of the better numbers. Lots of things come in seven or groups of seven. Days of the week. Six pack plus one. Stop sign with one edge taped up. Deadly Sins. Steps to Heaven. Visible “planets” (yeah, like the Moon and Sun are “planets”). People in a septet.

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**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\
**Post date:** [August 9, 2003, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-sequiturs/193081/120 "2003-08-09T14:07:24Z")

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I like Benny Hill.

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