# Non-Simpsons Simpsons lines **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 16, 2003, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-simpsons-simpsons-lines/207741 "2003-10-16T05:49:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Sketch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Sketch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sketch)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-simpsons-simpsons-lines/207741/21 "2003-10-16T19:42:31Z")
Apu: Mr. Simpson, a Twinkie is not a sprinkle, a nutter butter is not a sprinkle, a Twizzler is not a sprinkle- maybe in Shangri La they are, but not here! ---
**Author:** ![jk1245](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/49beb7/32.png) [@jk1245](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jk1245)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-simpsons-simpsons-lines/207741/22 "2003-10-16T19:50:27Z")
Disco Stu doesn’t advertise! ---
**Author:** ![Waenara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/50afbb/32.png) [@Waenara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waenara)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-simpsons-simpsons-lines/207741/23 "2003-10-16T21:15:01Z")
**Lobsang** … it’s: Wiggum: Dispatch, this is Chief Wiggum, back in pursuit of the rebelling women. Dispatch: All right, your current location? Wiggum: Oh, uh, I’m, er, I’m on a road. Uh, looks to be asphalt…oh, geez, trees, shrubs…er, I’m directly under the earth’s sun…now! ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-simpsons-simpsons-lines/207741/24 "2003-10-16T21:15:18Z")
Lisa: The bible says that? Rev. Lovejoy: It’s somewhere towards the back. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-simpsons-simpsons-lines/207741/25 "2003-10-16T22:17:53Z")
Number One: Tonight marks the 5000th anniversary of the founding of our sacred order. And to celebrate… we’re havin’ ribs. And even better… Number One: Let’s all get drunk and play ping-pong! These quotes are all-time classics, especially since it’s _Patrick Stewart_ saying them. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Dizzy\_Fingers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dizzy\_Fingers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dizzy_Fingers)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-simpsons-simpsons-lines/207741/26 "2003-10-16T22:22:19Z")
Mayor Quimby: Gentlemen, it’s time we face up to the un-face-up-to-able. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-simpsons-simpsons-lines/207741/27 "2003-10-16T22:24:35Z")
Looking at a gravestone for Homer J. Simpson upside-down: Chief Wiggum: Put out an APB for a Uosdwis J. Rewoh. Better try Greektown, boys. And bring me back one of those gyros. Somebody else (Eddie or Lou?): It’s upside-down. (or something like that.) Chief: Cancel that APB. Eddie or Lou: Chief, you’re talking into your wallet. ---
**Author:** ![YellowTail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/b5ac83/32.png) [@YellowTail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YellowTail)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-simpsons-simpsons-lines/207741/28 "2003-10-16T22:33:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Waenara \* > \*\ ***Lobsang** … it’s: > > Wiggum: Dispatch, this is Chief Wiggum, back in pursuit of the rebelling women. > Dispatch: All right, your current location? > Wiggum: Oh, uh, I’m, er, I’m on a road. Uh, looks to be asphalt…oh, geez, trees, shrubs…er, I’m directly under the earth’s sun…now! \*\* It got mixed up with one where Wiggum says something like, “Suspect is driving a … car … of some sort. Suspect is hatless! Repeat hatless!” [/bring on the corrections] ---
**Author:** ![Already\_in\_Use](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@Already\_in\_Use](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Already_in_Use)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-simpsons-simpsons-lines/207741/29 "2003-10-16T22:41:03Z")
Titania: Ew! You said if I slept with you, I wouldn’t have to touch the drunk. Duffman: Duffman says a lot of things. Oh, yeah! ---
**Author:** ![FilmGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-simpsons-simpsons-lines/207741/30 "2003-10-17T00:01:27Z")
Welcome wealthy American investor… and my sig. ---
**Author:** ![Spudo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@Spudo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spudo)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-simpsons-simpsons-lines/207741/31 "2003-10-17T00:06:02Z")
Smithers: Shall I send out for Chinese sir? Burns: No, those people are all gristle. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-simpsons-simpsons-lines/207741/32 "2003-10-17T00:12:47Z")
> [@](#): > > Stacy: Well, that, and…I was funneling profits to the Viet Cong. Actually, she was just embezzeling company funds. I think. How about when Rev. Lovejoy is trying to get his dog to take a dump on Ned’s lawn? Rev. Lovejoy: Go on, do your dirty, sinful business. Moe: I was born a snakehandler and I’ll die a snakehandler. Groundskeeper Willy: Bonjoooooooorrrrr, ya cheese-eatin’ surrender monkeys! Rod and/or Tod Flanders: Lies make Baby Jesus cry. ---
**Author:** ![Waenara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/50afbb/32.png) [@Waenara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waenara)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-simpsons-simpsons-lines/207741/33 "2003-10-17T00:17:00Z")
“Hello, Selma Bouvier? It’s Troy McClure. You may remember me from such dates as last night’s dinner.” ---
**Author:** ![Waenara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/50afbb/32.png) [@Waenara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waenara)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-simpsons-simpsons-lines/207741/34 "2003-10-17T00:22:20Z")
Lisa: May I have that seat? Comic Book Guy: Yes. If you can answer me these questions three. Question the first… Lisa: Never mind. ---
**Author:** ![Jello](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f05b48/32.png) [@Jello](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jello)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-simpsons-simpsons-lines/207741/35 "2003-10-17T01:54:21Z")
Quimby: I am no longer illiterate. … Fat Tony: You have 24 hours. And to show I’m serious, you have 12 hours. ---
**Author:** ![nineiron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e56c9b/32.png) [@nineiron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nineiron)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-simpsons-simpsons-lines/207741/36 "2003-10-17T02:08:51Z")
Professor Frink: Hey, this isn’t the monster locator; this is the frog exaggerator! (Or something like that.) ---
**Author:** ![cletus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f08c70/32.png) [@cletus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cletus)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-simpsons-simpsons-lines/207741/37 "2003-10-17T04:09:44Z")
Milhouse: My mom says I’m cool… ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-simpsons-simpsons-lines/207741/38 "2003-10-17T04:11:16Z")
**Lurlene** : Oh Homer, you’re just a big sack of sugar! **Homer** : Woo Hoo, (you did say sugar, right?) ---
**Author:** ![Yumblie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/76d3ee/32.png) [@Yumblie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yumblie)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-simpsons-simpsons-lines/207741/39 "2003-10-17T04:47:15Z")
**Chalmers** : Well, I best be go…what in god’s name is going on in there?! **Skinner** : (quickly) Auora Borealis. **Chalmers** : Auora Borealis! At this time of day, at this time of year, in this part of the country, localized entirely within your kitchen! **Skinner** : Yes. **Chalmers** : Oh. … Can I see it? **Skinner** : No. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-simpsons-simpsons-lines/207741/40 "2003-10-17T06:00:41Z")
Stacey Lovell definitely said she was funneling profits to the Viet Cong. (Beats Homer’s thing about stealing projectors, don’t you think?) 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-simpsons-simpsons-lines/207741.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/non-simpsons-simpsons-lines/207741.md?page=3)