# Nonbelievers: How do you feel about people praying for you? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 23, 2009, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849 "2009-10-23T13:34:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![BleizDu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9dc877/32.png) [@BleizDu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BleizDu)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849/21 "2009-10-23T17:57:06Z")
If someone were to told me they were praying for me, I would probably say something like “uh thanks but no thanks” and would be more or less seething inside, depending on what they were praying for. First because this kind of stuff is really not the norm at all here, so it would seems very odd to me, then because if someone knows me enough, they know I don’t really like religion, so it would piss me off that just to make themselves feel good they would say that to my face since they would knew for me it’s a totally useless thing to do. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849/22 "2009-10-23T18:01:03Z")
It doesn’t bother me, and I appreciate the sentiments when they’re affectionate or well meaning. Efforts to pray for my soul leave me indifferent. It’s their own time their wasting, not mine. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849/23 "2009-10-23T20:31:28Z")
I find prayer creepy at best. Whether it’s for me, or for anything else. My reaction is basically like running into someone with a razor telling me that they are going to cut themselves for me. ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849/24 "2009-10-23T20:45:52Z")
I’m ok with it as long as it isn’t an excessively religious sentiment, such as simply “I’m praying for you,” rather than “I pray the almighty Lord Jesus Christ will keep your immortal soul safe from THE DEVIL!” I rewrite these statements in my head, if possible, so I absorb the sentiment instead of the actual words used. I do think that religious-toned condolences should be saved for people you know are religious, though-- such words will be as meaningful to them as they are intended to be. As an atheist, I’d be much more touched and appreciative if a religious person said simply, “I’m thinking of you,” or “I hope you find comfort soon,” rather than “I’m praying for you.” That they’re showing respect for my beliefs by not filtering their message through their beliefs is a nice gesture. ---
**Author:** ![Lanzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Lanzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lanzy)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849/25 "2009-10-23T20:58:42Z")
Pisses me off. I don’t think they are telling me this to make “me” feel better. If they really think it will help, just do it, I’ll never know. But they expect me to say ooo, thanks so much. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849/26 "2009-10-23T21:08:53Z")
Well, bless your heart. 😃 Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849/27 "2009-10-23T21:35:47Z")
I take it as a compliment. Similarly, when particularly annoying evangelicals of whatever denomination try to proselytize\* me, I try to keep in mind that, given that they’re convinced that if I don’t believe what they do I’m going to be damned for eternity, it wouldn’t make them very nice people if they \*\*didn’t \*\*try to convert me. \*Side note: Why did I think that this word was spelled prostelytize? ---
**Author:** ![Maiira](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Maiira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maiira)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849/28 "2009-10-23T22:09:44Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > I picked “nice but pointless gesture”, then I read **Czarcasm’s** post. If they’re praying for me to get well or ace my big interview or whatever, nice gesture. > > If they’re praying for my immortal soul because I’m going to hell for denying the divinity of Christ Savior, remove the “nice” part. Agreed. When people are offering their condolences to me after a death in the family, or something, and use prayer that way, I think of it as a nice gesture. Means they’re thinking of me and wishing me well. I do get a bit annoyed when they offer to pray for my immortal soul, though, because I find it a tad condescending. Fortunately, that doesn’t happen to me too often. ---
**Author:** ![Springtime\_for\_Spacers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Springtime\_for\_Spacers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Springtime_for_Spacers)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849/29 "2009-10-23T22:36:41Z")
I answered honestly that it pisses me off no end _but_ providing it’s intended well I’d never be so rude or unkind as to tell anyone that. ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2009, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849/30 "2009-10-24T00:26:28Z")
I’m kinda in between options 3 and 4 based on how I’m feeling that day. But on the whole, if my Christian friends say they’re praying for me- that’s fine with me. I don’t mind. But I Don’t think it’s going to add any special odds to myself or anything. But I don’t mind for the most part if they want to do it. And occasionally I’ll pray for someone else, but again that’s usually I believe I’m getting more out of it than they are, but some people appreciate the gesture and that’s always nice. ---
**Author:** ![tumbleddown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@tumbleddown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tumbleddown)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2009, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849/31 "2009-10-24T01:35:46Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > Likewise, I’m Jewish, but I’ll take prayers from non-Jewish friends. I’m not arrogant enough to think that God only listens to a small fraction of the world’s population. This. I’m a Jew in a family of Baptists, Methodists and Pentecostals and a lot of them are very, very seriously into prayer as a major daily event. My mom and her close circle have phone conferences to pray together. If there’s a situation that they cannot affect personally, they pray, whether it’s sickness or school exams or job interviews or someone needing a bank loan. It’s hard to take offense at that. They want good things for the people in their lives and it’s how they try to make it happen. ---
**Author:** ![badlyburnttoast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ad7895/32.png) [@badlyburnttoast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badlyburnttoast)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2009, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849/32 "2009-10-24T03:39:31Z")
I think it’s really kind of silly but it’s still nice. I may not believe but they do, and they are going out of their way to do something for you (even if it is pointless). I thank the Jehovah’s witnesses and Mormons who knock on my door too for the same reason - They believe they are trying to save me from an eternity of hellfire (or whatever happens to the unconverted, I don’t really know) which is a very nice thing for them to do, even if it is misguided. ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2009, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849/33 "2009-10-24T16:36:21Z")
I wish there had been an “I find it mildly irritating” option. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2009, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849/34 "2009-10-24T20:41:07Z")
> [@shiftless](#): > > Why do you have to tell me that you are praying for me anyway? What is it that you want me to do that you can’t just come out and tell me? > > When my father died a few people felt the need to tell me they were praying for him … What did they mean? Did they think he was a bad person and needed their pure selves to intervene? Were they hinting that they didn’t like the way he lived and so their god didn’t like him? > [@tumbleddown](#): > > If there’s a situation that they cannot affect personally, they pray, whether it’s sickness or school exams or job interviews or someone needing a bank loan. As my BFF’s mother put it “I don’t ask God to whisper in her ear what she hasn’t studied, just to deliver the teacher from toothaches on grading day…” ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2009, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849/35 "2009-10-24T22:38:30Z")
“Pray for the absent” I always say. What’s wrong with hoping/wishing for the best? A friend of mine carved a beautiful piece with a phrase something like “more things are wrought by prayer than this world will know” which I thought was a charming idea. **AudreyK** you pretty much summed it up for me. ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2009, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849/36 "2009-10-24T22:54:19Z")
In a similar situation, people studying their ancestry are sometimes dismayed to find that the Church of Latter Day Saints (the Mormons) have baptized their long-dead ancestors to make them Mormons. I think the plan is that Mormons are supposed to marry other Mormons, but converting the fiancee’s ancestors to Mormonism is a way to do that, or some such. But, how can this be a problem? If it’s an empty gesture, it’s an empty gesture. But on the off chance that they’re right, and this actually accomplishes something, you’d want them to, right? I mean, if they can actually make the departed soul a Mormon, because Mormonism is the truth, then everyone wins, right? ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2009, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849/37 "2009-10-25T00:55:23Z")
When my husband was sick, people prayed for him and I appreciated it. However, an acquaintance recently relayed a story to me in which she claimed that when she heard about Jett Travolta’s death, she said to her husband “Quick, we have to pray for him, because he didn’t know Jesus.” That struck me as…I dunno…smug, maybe. ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2009, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849/38 "2009-10-25T01:23:14Z")
I think it’s more about making them (the praying person) feel better. ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2009, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849/39 "2009-10-25T01:30:15Z")
nice but useless gesture \*unless \*it is done with prostelizing in mind. I do NOT want be be preached or prostelyzed. When my daughter was in the NICU I greatly appreciated all the good thoughts coming our way, and had zero tolerance for anyone that wanted to take the opportunity to help me reach god. You want to say a prayer, great. Hope it makes you feel better. Nice gestures make me feel better. But don’t make it any more than that as it goes from nice gesture to unwelcome intrusion in a heartbeat. ---
**Author:** ![Canadjun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/76d3ee/32.png) [@Canadjun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canadjun)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2009, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849/40 "2009-10-25T02:04:49Z")
Not enough choices in a quiz again. If it’s not pushy then I would go with the choice I picked - nice touch even though it won’t do anything. I interpret comments like that is “I really hope you get better soon”. If it’s pushy, i.e. you come to my home or my hospital room and hold a prayer session, then please go to whichever abyss fits with your particular beliefs. If you guys want to pray to God, Jehovah, Allah, Odin, Gitche Manitou, or whoever turns your crank to make my butt get better, I’m more than happy to let you, as long as you do it away from me and don’t bug me about it (if you can make search work, look up my messages from a couple of years ago - I won’t reiterate what I am referring to here) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849.md?page=3)