# Nonbelievers: How do you feel about people praying for you? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 23, 2009, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849 "2009-10-23T13:34:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2009, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849/61 "2009-10-27T07:36:45Z")
I remember a recent President who, when speaking about a particular soldier who was killed, said that he and his wife would “keep him in our prayers”. That just stuck in my craw…I bet if I even mentioned the name of that soldier today, they wouldn’t know who the hell I was talking about, let alone keep him in their useless prayers. It was just a political platitude. I believe personal meditation combined with a lack of stress can truly help someone get better if they are ill (has been scientifically proven) but having someone else throw your name up into the sky and expect something to come of it? No. If it were that easy, that particular President would be toast by now. ---
**Author:** ![Neverender](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/848f3c/32.png) [@Neverender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neverender)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2009, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849/62 "2009-10-27T14:31:09Z")
All I have ever seen it as is the default Christian way of saying ‘I’m thinking of you’ when something bad happens. It doesn’t bother me, and I’m not religious. I think the only types it would piss off are the Dawkin-esque dick atheists. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2009, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849/63 "2009-10-27T17:26:03Z")
Next person that says that to me, I’ll tell them I’ll be sacrificing a chicken in their name to Baal ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2009, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849/64 "2009-10-27T17:28:41Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > Next person that says that to me, I’ll tell them I’ll be sacrificing a chicken in their name to Baal Consider Jobu. Point them to the documentary of your faith. Tell them to ignore the baseball as irrelevant. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Mondegreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/91b2a8/32.png) [@Lord\_Mondegreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Mondegreen)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2009, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849/65 "2009-10-28T11:55:03Z")
I’m an agnostic who grew up Christian. (Guess I’m unique on SDMB - NOT) If I’m going through a tough time, I’m extremely touched by a Christian who says s/he is praying for me. The reason is that I know that for them that is the most genuine thing they can do. They believe sincerely that they are talking to the being who created the universe and who has the ability to make changes to someone’s life. For a Christian to make such a commitment to me, especially if they know of my non-faith, can almost (and some times actually) bring me to tears. Edited to add: I did not vote. I almost voted for the third choice, but I don’t believe it is a “useless” gesture. No, I don’t believe it will result in God doing anything (since I don’t have any evidence that He exists), but “useless” is too strong. The gesture is not useless because I am touched by their prayers. I’m sure many will consider that a nitpick. So be it, but I disagree. ---
**Author:** ![Gesturing\_Mildly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/65b543/32.png) [@Gesturing\_Mildly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gesturing_Mildly)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849/66 "2009-11-18T21:47:32Z")
> [@bengangmo](#): > > If I was in your shoes and sending the message, why couldn’t you have simply send that “my thoughts and best wishes are with you” or something similiar. > Instead of “praying for his comfort” sending him something like “sending thoughts of comfort your way” would have expressed the same sentiment without needing to be overtly religious. > > Now - as a follow-up, I am not religious, however if I were to send a note in the same situation to a religious person, would it be hypocritical of me to insert a religious tone into the message? (not as overt as praying for you, but maybe - I’m sure she is looking down on you and would like to be remembered) Does this count as a zombie thread, or something I just forgot about? **bengangmo** - personally, it’s important to me to be honest, while not offending the person. To say I’m “sending positive thoughts” would be as dishonest as you saying you were praying for a person, or that you believed the deceased was looking down from heaven. I don’t personally believe that there is any power in me sending my thoughts to someone. I guess I could say, “I’m thinking nice things about you,” but that sounds so watered-down. I guess, like many things, it’s a balance between honesty and tact. I’m a big fan of honesty, but I’d never say something like, “You’re a total dick and I sometimes hope you get toenail cancer.” Thanks for your responses, everyone! ---
**Author:** ![Nars\_Glinley](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nars_glinley/32/8177_2.png) [@Nars\_Glinley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nars_Glinley)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849/67 "2009-11-18T23:27:09Z")
To those that answered #1, does it bother you when people say they are sending good/healing thoughts your way? ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2009, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849/68 "2009-11-19T01:07:47Z")
Other… you can pray for me, if I can pray for you. No hangups about prayer, I have no fear if you are cursing me or blessing me as you pray. I believe inention is psychic seed, so manifesting it is simply a personal oblation. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2009, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849/69 "2009-11-19T01:18:15Z")
I think prayer is like a penis. You don’t whip it out unless invited/encouraged to do so in an appropriate setting. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2009, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849/70 "2009-11-19T01:25:36Z")
I voted that it pisses me off because it kindda does, but I generally don’t make any direct complaints against it – and it has happened a few times. ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2009, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849/71 "2009-11-19T01:44:03Z")
> [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](#): > > I wish there had been an “I find it mildly irritating” option. Me too, although I can’t really come up with a reason why. I think it vaguely feels like… if someone is praying on my behalf, I’m somehow endorsing it. I appreciate the gesture, when it’s meant to be comforting, but I fight off a slight twinge of irritation at the same time. Interestingly, I have had people as me if I mind if they pray for me, and the question did not irritate me in the slightest. I was genuinely happy that they were thinking of me and was genuine when I said that their thoughtfulness was appreciated. Perhaps I’m not actually finding the prayer mildly irritating, but rather the presumption that it is appropriate (or they feel it ought to be). ---
**Author:** ![blinkie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/43a26b/32.png) [@blinkie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blinkie)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2009, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849/72 "2009-11-19T01:46:39Z")
How come you don’t have a catagory “I believe in prayer but I don’t want someone praying on my account.” ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2009, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849/73 "2009-11-19T02:03:48Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > I think prayer is like a penis. You don’t whip it out unless invited/encouraged to do so in an appropriate setting. Also, if used indiscriminately may result in pregnancy. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2009, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849/74 "2009-11-19T02:08:42Z")
There’s this retired judge that I know, who writes and sings his own prayeers for the holiday Meals, and does them Quaker Beatnik Poetry Jam Style. 🙂 Wish more people would pray like that… ---
**Author:** ![Bright\_Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cdc98d/32.png) [@Bright\_Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bright_Life)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2009, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849/75 "2009-11-19T02:28:30Z")
I would much prefer those who wish me well to offer actual help, if they wish to demonstrate their positive intent. For example, in such circumstance where the believer might say “I’ll pray for you” I say “Can I watch the kids for you while you go see your mom at the hospital?” The point being that “positive thoughts” and “helpful actions” are measurably different. One can be done on the way home with a little psychic telegram. The other requires a demonstrably meaningful and physical effort. I certainly know which one I would appreciate more. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2009, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849/76 "2009-11-19T03:56:11Z")
> [@Bright\_Life](#): > > I would much prefer those who wish me well to offer actual help, if they wish to demonstrate their positive intent. > > For example, in such circumstance where the believer might say “I’ll pray for you” I say “Can I watch the kids for you while you go see your mom at the hospital?” > > The point being that “positive thoughts” and “helpful actions” are measurably different. One can be done on the way home with a little psychic telegram. The other requires a demonstrably meaningful and physical effort. > > I certainly know which one I would appreciate more. A psychictelegram is the intent made smoke and ethereal. These movements are the same action in relative terms, they are the shemical to the physical.. catalytic… a difference in quantum spin… to quote The Fixx, [One Thing Leads to Another](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzymBKGV8rw&feature=PlayList&p=9B7ECCF1EAB1CE02&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=3). ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2009, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849/77 "2009-11-19T04:15:18Z")
I’m curious, any Mathemeticians, Statisticians, Sociologists, Artists, Theologians or the otherwise Religious here ever been S[aved by Zero](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Q6WkK9k7Hg&feature=channel)? ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2009, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849/78 "2009-11-19T04:15:34Z")
Sometimes the prayer can be condescending about it, then it kind of annoys me, other times I couldn’t care less what they talk to their god about. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2009, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849/79 "2009-11-19T04:44:14Z")
[Stand or Fall](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HRUSX-XW0s&NR=1), State your Peace tonight. Is this the value of our existence, should we proclaim with such persistence? Our destiny relies on Conscience. ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2009, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849/80 "2009-11-19T04:53:34Z")
The only time I don’t like it is when I have to listen to the “Praise Jesus” garbage if they think their prayers actually worked. And I’m not real crazy when they lay hands on me and start speaking in tongues. That is just way too creepy. I guess it’s the culture I’m from, but it happens surprisingly often to me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-how-do-you-feel-about-people-praying-for-you/514849.md?page=5)