# Nonbelievers: If someone else's preteen child asks you if God exists, how do you respond? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 6, 2009, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220 "2009-12-06T19:56:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220/41 "2009-12-07T12:02:47Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > DT, I think maybe you should double-check the meanings of “typical” and “most”, or perhaps your blood sugar. If _most_ parents hadn’t been willing to sacrifice their children to the welfare of the Catholic Church, the molestation scandal would have broken decades earlier. That’s the pattern I see everywhere; most believers consider their religion more important than anything else. > [@DianaG](#): > > Also, don’t parent other peoples’ children. It’s rude. And lying to a kid isn’t? A kid asks me a question, I’m going to answer it honestly. I’m not going to lie to help their parents’ self indulgence. ---
**Author:** ![ianzin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220/42 "2009-12-07T12:08:24Z")
“No, of course not.” ---
**Author:** ![Dioptre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/278dde/32.png) [@Dioptre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dioptre)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220/43 "2009-12-07T13:29:47Z")
Another vote for the final option, with a “What do you think?”. I’d be happy to tell the kid what I believed and why, but as a skeptic myself I prefer to encourage the kid to think rather then tell them what I think. ---
**Author:** ![Blake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a9a28c/32.png) [@Blake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blake)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220/44 "2009-12-07T13:37:44Z")
Final option: I feel perfectly comfortable discussing it, and here are the reasons why I don’t believe in God. Your/Your parents MMV ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220/45 "2009-12-07T13:52:54Z")
Nope, sorry. But please don’t tell everyone that I said that because christians become angry at anyone who doesn’t beleive the same as them. Have you asked your parents? ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220/46 "2009-12-07T13:53:51Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > That’s the pattern I see everywhere; most believers consider their religion more important than anything else. Well yes, you see that pattern everywhere, because you are, if you don’t mind my saying so (or, for that matter, if you do), not entirely sane on the subject. > [@Der Trihs](#): > > And lying to a kid isn’t? A kid asks me a question, I’m going to answer it honestly. I’m not going to lie to help their parents’ self indulgence. No, you’re going to subject them to your own self-indulgence. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220/47 "2009-12-07T15:23:15Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > No, you’re going to subject them to your own self-indulgence. The typical believer’s definition of honesty. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220/48 "2009-12-07T15:29:40Z")
Except that I’m not a believer. I just recognize unhealthy fixation and self-indulgence. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220/49 "2009-12-07T16:10:40Z")
I’d say mine is a mix of the first two, I see no evidence that a deity exists, the chances of a deity existing are nonexistent, such an entity is a figment of the imagination (like the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, and Santa), but I can’t make up your mind for you, you’ll have to come to your own decision. In short; No deity exists, except as a figment of the imagination, there is no such thing as “god”, that’s my view on the matter, you’ll have to make up your own mind, I’m not going to force my “beliefs” (or lack thereof) down your throat, make up your own mind based on the evidence at hand. okay, so it’s not exactly short, how about; I “believe” that there is no “god”, but you’ll have to make up your own mind ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220/50 "2009-12-07T16:16:58Z")
If they are old enough to ask, they are old enough to understand this response: If someone asks “Is there a god?”, the correct answer is “Nobody knows”. But if someone says, “There is a god,” then they are passing on a lie. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220/51 "2009-12-07T16:31:15Z")
> [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](#): > > " A lot of people think different things. What do you think, kiddo? " This, except in the case of death of a loved one in which case the mildest comforting lie I can come up with applies. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220/52 "2009-12-07T16:44:22Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > And lying to a kid isn’t? A kid asks me a question, I’m going to answer it honestly. I’m not going to lie to help their parents’ self indulgence. Except you don’t have to lie. You have the option of telling the kid to go to his or her parents. ---
**Author:** ![Reno\_Nevada](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Reno\_Nevada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reno_Nevada)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220/53 "2009-12-07T16:53:39Z")
> [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](#): > > Also, what about: " A lot of people think different things. What do you think, kiddo? ". > > . I also chose “You missed one, Skald” in order to answer, in essence, this one. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Fun\_Ball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_fun_ball/32/17664_2.png) [@Happy\_Fun\_Ball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Fun_Ball)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220/54 "2009-12-07T16:54:18Z")
> [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](#): > > \ " A lot of people think different things. What do you think, kiddo? ". This is what I have answered in the past, and what I would answer today. With my own kids, this would be the starting point, but if pressed, I would share my beliefs. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220/55 "2009-12-07T17:02:53Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Except you don’t have to lie. You have the option of telling the kid to go to his or her parents. If you know the parents are believers, this is still lying, just a cowardly way of doing it without getting your own hands dirty. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220/56 "2009-12-07T17:10:24Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > If you know the parents are believers, this is still lying, just a cowardly way of doing it without getting your own hands dirty. Bullshit. _Not answering a question_ is not equivalent to lying; nor is respecting a parent’s right to decide how his or her children shall be raised (absent abusive or neglectful behavior) the act of a coward. The fact that you think otherwise merely indicates that you’re unclear on the meanings of the words _lie_ and _cowardice_. ---
**Author:** ![Gus\_Gusterson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85f322/32.png) [@Gus\_Gusterson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gus_Gusterson)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220/57 "2009-12-07T17:13:45Z")
We have this issue in our house. I’m agnostic. My wife seems to believe in a god of the Roman Catholic variety. I’ve never asked her for any specifics about her beliefs because I don’t care. We agreed before getting married that she could do whatever religious crap she wanted to do with the kids as long as I didn’t have to be involved. The kids went to a Christian preschool. It apparently consisted of playing for most of the day, with a fair bit of, as our son put it, “stuff about Jesus” thrown in. He pretty much hates Jesus now. Our daughter asked me lots of questions about what they were telling her at preschool. I generally answered with “That’s what some people believe, but other people believe other things.” She figured out that God don’t exist pretty quickly, but she goes along with the religious stuff because she wants to wear a fancy dress and get presents for her First Communion. Her mother will have to drag her to Sunday school after that. Our son hasn’t started Sunday school yet, and I don’t think she’ll be able to get him to go. He’s liable to tell the teacher that she’s stupid for believing in Jesus. I’m pretty sure that it will all work out exactly as I planned. I will have two little agnostics/atheists and I won’t have said anything to get me in trouble with my wife. I have played along the entire time knowing that the kids would pick up on the fact that Daddy doesn’t go to church and never affirms the existence of Jesus or God. I knew they could figure it out for themselves. Even if they weren’t bright enough to figure it out, they would have seen that you don’t have to go to church. And that’s the whole goal - having Sundays free. Believe what you want to, but don’t screw up my plans on the weekend. ---
**Author:** ![VarlosZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d78d45/32.png) [@VarlosZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VarlosZ)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220/58 "2009-12-07T19:33:18Z")
It would depend on how mature the kid was and how well I knew the parents. Most likely it would be something like, “I don’t think so, but I’ve been wrong before” followed either by, “what do you think?” or, “you should probably talk to your parents about this” depending on my relationship with the family. > [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > “They’re wrong. But don’t tell them you doubt God exists, or they’ll probably hate you and punish you.” Giving Answer #1 is simply rude, but this is beyond the pale. Please don’t speak to children; you’re ill-equipped. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220/59 "2009-12-07T20:49:12Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Bullshit. _Not answering a question_ is not equivalent to lying; Not answering when you know the answer, **but instead directing them to a place where you know they will get the wrong answer** , is not the same as merely refusing to answer (which I agree is not the same as lying) > [@](#): > > nor is respecting a parent’s right to decide how his or her children shall be raised ( **absent abusive or neglectful behavior** ) the act of a coward. Well, that depends on how we each define the highly subjective bit I bolded, no? > [@](#): > > The fact that you think otherwise merely indicates that you’re unclear on the meanings of the words _lie_ and _cowardice_. I’m perfectly aware of the meanings, I just don’t quibble over semantics when my meaning should be quite clear ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220/60 "2009-12-07T20:52:25Z")
BTW, how’s your niece doing, **Skald**? [ETA] err, that may have come out wrong in tone if read after the last post. I really am just curious, I followed the beginning of that saga but haven’t kept up to date. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220.md?page=4)