# Nonbelievers: If someone else's preteen child asks you if God exists, how do you respond? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 6, 2009, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220 "2009-12-06T19:56:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![VarlosZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d78d45/32.png) [@VarlosZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VarlosZ)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220/101 "2009-12-08T16:31:52Z")
> [@Grumman](#): > > Why do people think these are at all equivalent? Telling your kid the truth despite your desire to teach him lies is not the same thing as you telling my kid lies despite my desire to teach him truth. . . . which is precisely the rationale used by the religious proselytizer. “I’m special because I’m right” is an atrocious ethic, for (hopefully) obvious reasons. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220/102 "2009-12-08T16:48:54Z")
I’d respond with “No.” ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220/103 "2009-12-08T16:55:14Z")
\*\*If someone else’s preteen child asks you if God exists, how do you respond? \*\* “No. It’s 9 friggin’ a.m. on a Saturday morning and I’m trying to get some sleep. If you, your mom and the other Jehovah’s Witnesses don’t stop ringing my bell and trying to pawn your dumbass literature off on me, next time I’m bringing out the Flit gun.” ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220/104 "2009-12-08T17:46:27Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > Of course it is. If a kid asks me “where do babies come from?”, and I say “I’m not going to answer that, but here…” and I then give him _Tom Thumb_ to read or the beginning of _Dumbo_ to watch, you bet your ass I’ve just lied to the kid. Only I’ve lied by proxy. Doesn’t make it not lying - I’m directing him to information I know to be false - IOW I’m intentionally giving him false information…which is the definition of a lie. Doesn’t say there that the lie has top come from my own lips. No, but I can be\* reasonably certain\*, which is good enough for me not to do it. Would “ask your parents” be an inappropriate response to the baby question? By giving them a fairy story about birth you are endorsing an incorrect answer. I’m okay with you objecting to “your parents know the right answer” about God also. But the bottom line is whether you think that your little diatribe, however phrased, is going to make any damn difference when it goes up against what the kid learns in the family environment. Even in New York I was exposed to tons of Christian propaganda as a kid, and it had zero effect. Hell, I went to a school run by Baptists when I lived in Africa. I was Jewish, my parents were Jewish, most of my friends were Jewish, and Christianity was just something that other people believed. My disbelief was no more rational than my belief. People who think that someone who is an outsider is going to make an impact by giving a young kid a reasoned explanation for why no gods exist, no matter how correct it might be, are living in fantasy land. When they reach the true age of reason, then I’m all for giving them your best. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220/105 "2009-12-08T17:48:18Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > \*\*If someone else’s preteen child asks you if God exists, how do you respond? \*\* > > “No. It’s 9 friggin’ a.m. on a Saturday morning and I’m trying to get some sleep. If you, your mom and the other Jehovah’s Witnesses don’t stop ringing my bell and trying to pawn your dumbass literature off on me, next time I’m bringing out the Flit gun.” I’ll make an exception in this case. 😃 “Honey, come on inside for some candy and blood transfusion.” ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220/106 "2009-12-08T19:22:19Z")
> [@VarlosZ](#): > > . . . which is precisely the rationale used by the religious proselytizer. And I’d give a shit if this didn’t just amount to them trying to protect their desire to spout untruths uncontested by making up more untruths. > [@](#): > > “I’m special because I’m right” is an atrocious ethic, for (hopefully) obvious reasons. Rubbish. Just look at the law regarding libel, or misleading conduct in business. ---
**Author:** ![VarlosZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d78d45/32.png) [@VarlosZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VarlosZ)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220/107 "2009-12-08T19:28:55Z")
Your logic only holds if we posit that religious people in general don’t actually think there’s a God, but rather are trying to deceive others into believing what they know to be false. This is flatly implausible. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220/108 "2009-12-08T19:43:05Z")
> [@cerberus](#): > > How would a _believer_ answer this question? If Believers expect non-Believers to defer somehow in the presence of the children of believers, does this work the other way? > > Is the basic idea reciprocal neutrality? Is the idea to reserve to the parents the big questions? > > That seems reasonable. No, it seems irrelevant. My obligation to act ethically has nothing to do with whether others would. ---
**Author:** ![tacoloco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tacoloco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tacoloco)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220/109 "2009-12-08T20:48:56Z")
I would tell the kid to talk to their parents, without discussing any of my personal beliefs. That’s what I’d want someone to say to my kids when they were pre-teens. ---
**Author:** ![tacoloco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tacoloco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tacoloco)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220/110 "2009-12-08T20:59:49Z")
> [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](#): > > Most atheist etc come from religious families; sure - most families are religious. And seriously, fuck it - I don’t care who asks - I don’t believe in any gods, and I am ready to back up my reasons why. I’m not going to lie to anyone no matter who young about my estimate. That’s noble and all, but remember that it isn’t your kid and the parents of said child make take exception to you being so frank and forthcoming. Now I realize that some of y’all think that parents are brainwashing their kids with religion, but remember that it’s the parent’s prerogative to teach their children what they believe. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220/111 "2009-12-08T21:00:19Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > No, it seems irrelevant. My obligation to act ethically has nothing to do with whether others would. Exactly. The appropriate question is “what would I want someone else to do if it were my kid”. It is not “how can I pre-emptively stick it to people whom I presume to be miserable rotten bastards because they disagree with me”. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220/112 "2009-12-08T21:08:06Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > No, it seems irrelevant. My obligation to act ethically has nothing to do with whether others would. Absolutely agree with this. The only person responsible for my actions (barring sci-fi mind control) is me. The actions or beliefs of the child’s parents do not force me to go against my own ethics. ---
**Author:** ![tacoloco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tacoloco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tacoloco)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220/113 "2009-12-08T22:19:55Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Absolutely agree with this. The only person responsible for my actions (barring sci-fi mind control) is me. The actions or beliefs of the child’s parents do not force me to go against my own ethics. Parents aren’t going to care if you’re being true to your ethics. All they’re gonna care about is what you’re saying to their kid(s). I have a personal rule. I don’t take to other people’s kids about any potentially controversial topics, unless I know -for certain- that the parents don’t have an issue with it. This avoids the whole “irate parent” scenario. Even though I’m not particularly religious, it is still my role, not your role to talk to my kids about God or the lack thereof. If this weren’t the Dope, I’d be very surprised at how presumptuous people are about talking to other people’s kids about this subject. But given the zealot atheist bent of the Dope, it doesn’t surprise me at all. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220/114 "2009-12-08T22:27:47Z")
> [@tacoloco](#): > > If this weren’t the Dope, I’d be very surprised at how presumptuous people are about talking to other people’s kids about this subject. But given the zealot atheist bent of the Dope, it doesn’t surprise me at all. I’m an atheist zealot. I think it is more a matter of who has kids and who doesn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Gustav](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/919ad9/32.png) [@Gustav](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gustav)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220/115 "2009-12-08T22:43:25Z")
> [@tacoloco](#): > > If this weren’t the Dope, I’d be very surprised at how presumptuous people are about talking to other people’s kids about this subject. But given the zealot atheist bent of the Dope, it doesn’t surprise me at all. How can it possibly be presumptuous when the kid is _asking_ a question? If I asked the kid if he believed in god, and then started telling him why he’s wrong that’d be a different matter entirely. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220/116 "2009-12-09T00:15:04Z")
> [@tacoloco](#): > > Parents aren’t going to care if you’re being true to your ethics. All they’re gonna care about is what you’re saying to their kid(s). I’m on your side on this subject. My answer was “Go ask your parents.” Period. I don’t believe it’s at all ethical to destroy a parent’s authority or status with their child. Now, if the kid was 13 or 14, I’d probably be honest with them about my beliefs. But not a 10-year-old. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220/117 "2009-12-09T01:57:21Z")
> [@Blake](#): > > Do you really believe this? And I ask this as a serious question? Why wouldn’t I “believe” it? I know what I post and what I don’t. Do you think I’m sleepposting or something? ---
**Author:** ![Cumberdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@Cumberdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cumberdale)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220/118 "2009-12-09T03:41:58Z")
If the kid asks the question, I will explain to the best of my ability why I do not believe. I will answer whatever questions they have. I will also encourage them to talk to their parents about their questions and stress that they figure out what they believe on their own. If the parents have a problem with what I say about what I think, tough. The kid asked, I answered, if they can’t handle it and it damages our relationship, then frankly that is their problem, not mine. ---
**Author:** ![StrangeBird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e480ec/32.png) [@StrangeBird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StrangeBird)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220/119 "2009-12-09T03:43:27Z")
Say “Look, over there, a UFO!”, then jump out the window and run.\* \*Not recommended if you are not on the ground floor ---
**Author:** ![StrangeBird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e480ec/32.png) [@StrangeBird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StrangeBird)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220/120 "2009-12-09T03:47:04Z")
More seriously, I think there’s a difference between: Does God exist? Do you believe in God? The answer to the first is no-one knows (therefore that would be my response). The second is a likely follow-up for a curious kid, but I won’t volunteer my own beliefs unless they specifically ask. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nonbelievers-if-someone-elses-preteen-child-asks-you-if-god-exists-how-do-you-respond/520220.md?page=7)