# norinew pits the City of Cumberland bureaucracy **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 13, 2004, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/norinew-pits-the-city-of-cumberland-bureaucracy/264303 "2004-09-13T20:32:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2004, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/norinew-pits-the-city-of-cumberland-bureaucracy/264303/41 "2004-10-23T18:10:21Z")
Here we go again! What should arrive in the mail but a notice saying that now the mother fucking fine is _45 fucking days late_! Dammit! _And_, it being Saturday, City Hall and the Court House are closed today, so I can’t even call anyone and bitch at them! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fucking fuckity fuck! ---
**Author:** ![furlibusea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@furlibusea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furlibusea)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2004, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/norinew-pits-the-city-of-cumberland-bureaucracy/264303/42 "2004-10-23T19:32:05Z")
You know, I am thinking it isn’t the inspector or the city planners. I am thinking its the neighbor. I’ve had neighbors like that who would drop a dime on anything. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2004, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/norinew-pits-the-city-of-cumberland-bureaucracy/264303/43 "2004-10-23T19:46:57Z")
> [@furlibusea](#): > > You know, I am thinking it isn’t the inspector or the city planners. I am thinking its the neighbor. I’ve had neighbors like that who would drop a dime on anything. At this point, as per my OP and post #8, it’s not even a matter of finding out who’s blowing the whistle on me; it’s a matter of having _paid the fucking fine_, and them denying that I’ve paid it! Why, oh why, when I had willing Dopers here on the 16th, did I _not_ take them up on their offer to piss in Fucky Chucky’s swimming pool? ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2004, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/norinew-pits-the-city-of-cumberland-bureaucracy/264303/44 "2004-10-23T20:18:08Z")
norinew: But I paid the fine! fucky chucky: Ah, our records show you didn’t. n: But here’s my cancelled check. f/c: No matter. n: What do you mean? f/c: It’s not properly logged into the book of important things. n: So? f/c: The book is the official record. n: But you cashed the check. f/c: Without proper listing, I’ve no idea what tht was for. n: It was to pay the fine. f/c: Might have been for a cat license. n: Cat license? f/c: Ah yes. Cats must be properly licensed. n: You’re nuts. f/c: None of those scraps of paper with “CAT” written in crayon, either. n: It was for the fine, not a Cat license. f/c: AHA! n: AHA what? f/c: So you don’t have a Cat license, do you!? n: Yes, I have a Cat license! f/c: Well, let’s have a look at it then. n: Here! f/c: Looks to be alright, but you’ve still got this outstanding fine. n: AIEEEEEEEE! ---
**Author:** ![emacularius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@emacularius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emacularius)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2004, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/norinew-pits-the-city-of-cumberland-bureaucracy/264303/45 "2004-10-23T23:40:24Z")
> [@norinew](#): > > Oh, you mean Kline’s? They also sell “adult novelties” and have a pawn shop right next door. Personally, I’d never buy a vibrator from someone who owns a pawn shop, too; you could never tell _where_ it’s been! (All together, now: eeeewwwww!) I used to work at Kline’s on Mechanic St. Stan & Connie wouldn’t dream of selling “used” novelties, even though Connie is a bit of a nut job. ---
**Author:** ![emacularius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@emacularius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emacularius)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2004, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/norinew-pits-the-city-of-cumberland-bureaucracy/264303/46 "2004-10-23T23:43:17Z")
> [@norinew](#): > > Here we go again! What should arrive in the mail but a notice saying that now the mother fucking fine is _45 fucking days late_! Dammit! _And_, it being Saturday, City Hall and the Court House are closed today, so I can’t even call anyone and bitch at them! > > Fuck, fuck, fuck, fucking fuckity fuck! It’s time to take a front & back copy of your cashed check to them and tell them where to shove it. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2004, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/norinew-pits-the-city-of-cumberland-bureaucracy/264303/47 "2004-10-24T00:32:01Z")
> [@emacularius](#): > > It’s time to take a front & back copy of your cashed check to them and tell them where to shove it. If you think this will stop them from getting even more money out of the OP, you’re deluded. They have one job, and the correct and just enforcement of the laws is not it. Quite frankly, any punishment that cannot be appealed is _prima facie_ unjust and should be unenforceable. It’s an open door to unlimited abuses and wholesale corruption, and a skeleton key to every bank account in the city. Think about it: If the government can levy fines that cannot be challenged, they don’t even need the pretense of just cause. “Just 'cause” will work just fine. And, of course, if they can re-fine you simply by pretending they never got the first payment, so much the better. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2004, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/norinew-pits-the-city-of-cumberland-bureaucracy/264303/48 "2004-10-24T00:47:00Z")
Would it be possible to sue them in state court or something? If you threaten to do that, and the employees just shrug and say you’ll lose more money by taking it to court than by paying up again, just shrug yourself and muse “that’s true, assuming you register the $250 _this_ time…” ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2004, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/norinew-pits-the-city-of-cumberland-bureaucracy/264303/49 "2004-10-24T01:00:22Z")
> [@emacularius](#): > > I used to work at Kline’s on Mechanic St. Stan & Connie wouldn’t dream of selling “used” novelties, even though Connie is a bit of a nut job. My apologies; apparently, when I made those remarks about combining a pawn shop and sex shop, I was insufficient in my use of smilies. 😉 **danceswithcats** , the scenario you paint is _exactly_ the kind of thing I’m afraid of! > [@derleth](#): > > If you think this will stop them from getting even more money out of the OP, you’re deluded. They have one job, and the correct and just enforcement of the laws is not it. Exactly! This city’s been running in the red for quite some time now, and the powers that be are getting more and more eager to wring money out of all the cracks they can! > [@Ludovic](#): > > Would it be possible to sue them in state court or something? My husband and I will be making a trip downtown on Monday morning, cancelled check _and_ receipt in hand, to see if we can’t get this ironed out once and for all. If that’s not successful, you can bet that we will be in touch with our attorney to find out what recourse we have against these assholes. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2004, 9:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/norinew-pits-the-city-of-cumberland-bureaucracy/264303/50 "2004-10-24T09:16:50Z")
> [@iampunha](#): > > Immediate family have neighbors similar to your dilemna. They are evidently sufficiently bored that they will call the town if we don’t mow our lawn often enough for their tastes. I settled a situation like that by **hiring the nosy neighbors** to do my lawn care. So now if anything isn’t done properly, it’s their problem. Sure cut down on the complaints! ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2004, 9:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/norinew-pits-the-city-of-cumberland-bureaucracy/264303/51 "2004-10-24T09:41:05Z")
> [@grienspace](#): > > Seriously, for all your American constitutional rights that holds the rest of the world in awe, the fact that you can be fined for some paint peeling off your own rear porch astounds me! That part’s got me scratching my head. I’ve always lived in neighborhoods where there were several properties that could only be improved with an application of high explosives or a lightning stike and this town’s fining people for peeling paint?? ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2004, 9:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/norinew-pits-the-city-of-cumberland-bureaucracy/264303/52 "2004-10-24T09:50:53Z")
> [@spooje](#): > > That part’s got me scratching my head. I’ve always lived in neighborhoods where there were several properties that could only be improved with an application of high explosives or a lightning stike and this town’s fining people for peeling paint?? Our town has properties like this, too. The City owns them. The City cannot afford to tear them all down, so they stay like this, and, hey, who’s gonna fine them? The City fuckin’ _owns_ them. In fact, when I went to court on August 21st about this whole thing, my attorney tried to raise the point that the City is not living up to it’s own standards. Fucky Chucky’s lawyer objected, and the Judge wouldn’t allow statements about that. 😕 :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2004, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/norinew-pits-the-city-of-cumberland-bureaucracy/264303/53 "2004-10-24T10:01:15Z")
Do you have a ‘troubleshooter’ reporter on your local TV stations? Maybe a newspaper reporter? Hell, at this point maybe you should consider a run for city council! ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2004, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/norinew-pits-the-city-of-cumberland-bureaucracy/264303/54 "2004-10-24T11:48:14Z")
> [@spooje](#): > > Do you have a ‘troubleshooter’ reporter on your local TV stations? Maybe a newspaper reporter? > > Hell, at this point maybe you should consider a run for city council! A newspaper reporter, possibly. We don’t even _have_ a local TV station; the closest we come is a Hagerstown station, about 70 miles east of here. I’m not interested in running for city council at this point in my life, but I do know one of the councilmen, who has helped out with our Crime Watch business in the past. If the problem doesn’t get resolved once and for all by the end of tomorrow, I do believe I’ll contact him. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/norinew-pits-the-city-of-cumberland-bureaucracy/264303/55 "2004-10-25T03:02:56Z")
> [@spooje](#): > > That part’s got me scratching my head. I’ve always lived in neighborhoods where there were several properties that could only be improved with an application of high explosives or a lightning stike and this town’s fining people for peeling paint?? Well, the theory is that if the town goes after them right away, when all they need is to fix the peeling paint, the properties will never get to the point where only demolition will fix them. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/norinew-pits-the-city-of-cumberland-bureaucracy/264303/56 "2004-10-25T03:28:53Z")
> [@t-bonham@scc.net](#): > > Well, the theory is that if the town goes after them right away, when all they need is to fix the peeling paint, the properties will never get to the point where only demolition will fix them. Yeah, that’s called the “broken-window” theory. Fix the broken windows and you won’t have slums. It’s a pain in the ass to private property owners, though, because not everyone has the time or the wherewithal to keep up with the little shit, and it’s a pain in the ass to the city, who has to maintain its own properties. However, bureaucrats love it because they get to whip their dicks out and fine people for a burned-out porchlight or somesuch. FWIW, Norine, my mom the landlord has mucho experience with this crap. It’d be amusing if it weren’t such a hassle to deal with. Robin ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/norinew-pits-the-city-of-cumberland-bureaucracy/264303/57 "2004-10-25T03:32:52Z")
> [@t-bonham@scc.net](#): > > Well, the theory is that if the town goes after them right away, when all they need is to fix the peeling paint, the properties will never get to the point where only demolition will fix them. True enough, except that the City owns properties in similar condition and does nothing about them. Laws and ordinances are fine, so long as they are enforced across the board. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/norinew-pits-the-city-of-cumberland-bureaucracy/264303/58 "2004-10-25T03:35:05Z")
Oh, yeah, and it’s a boon to vindictive neighbors, because it gives them a quasi-legal means of harassment. Most of what my mom has had to deal with that comes from that, in fact. Robin ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/norinew-pits-the-city-of-cumberland-bureaucracy/264303/59 "2004-10-25T03:38:59Z")
It also explains why some folks move out into the middle of nowhere, just to get away from candyasses, crybabies, and busybodies. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/norinew-pits-the-city-of-cumberland-bureaucracy/264303/60 "2004-10-25T12:16:13Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#): > > It also explains why some folks move out into the middle of nowhere, just to get away from candyasses, crybabies, and busybodies. Well, the middle of nowhere is our ultimate destination; not _just_ to get away from the candyasses, crybabies and busybodies, but I have to admit that _is_ part of the appeal. Also, it would make a kick-ass kind of place to have a weekend long DopeFest, wouldn’t it? Everybody bring camping gear and dead animals to throw in the BBQ pit (or dead tofu, if you’re vegetarian). Beer, music, good times, huh? 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/norinew-pits-the-city-of-cumberland-bureaucracy/264303.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/norinew-pits-the-city-of-cumberland-bureaucracy/264303.md?page=4)