Born and raised in northern NJ. Lived and worked in Manhattan for many years. Moved to Charlotte in 2004. In general, I love it here. Things are clean and new. Taxes are ridiculously low. People are friendly. Food options are much better than when I arrived (I just ate a phenomenal bahn mi sandwich last night.) However… people here think using the car horn is like yelling “eff you!” A four-way stop is harder than the SATs. In some circles, ignorance is a badge of honor. Racism isn’t hidden. So…it’s a give and take.
Moved from upstate New York to Fort Worth, TX to Salt Lake City, UT. Loved Utah, hated Texas.
I’m not from NJ, so I’ve got to ask: is that a nice, casual “eff you”? In Michigan, that’s a major insult among stranger (and just banter among friends). I guess I’m asking, is using the car horn in Charlotte kind of like a last resort, or something people drop casually?
The objective fact is more people (strangers) acknowledging you and trying to talk, and more dicey, asking personal questions. The subjective part is how you like that or what you infer about their ‘true’ motives. I think you have to be especially careful making firm statements about the last one, though. But I’m generally with the side that isn’t so positive about ‘Southern friendliness’. In fairness though I lived in Southern California for a few years and also thought ‘we’re real laid back here in CA’ was mainly phony also. Same thing, not saying it’s from bad motives necessarily, just a form of shallow surface behavior people get inculcated into that doesn’t mean much and it can be annoying if they claim it does. I felt the same about ‘we’re extremely polite here’ when I lived in Japan for that matter.
But I’m a pretty dyed in wool NY’er, multi-generation, so strong seat of the pants sense that ‘normal’ behavior is NY behavior. I realize that’s a feeling or opinion not a fact. Of ‘foreign’ places I’ve lived (anywhere outside NY that is :)) I found the way people related to me in South Korea more on my NY wavelength than Japan or even in some ways than LA or the South in my own country.
Don’t know about that ex-NJ Charlotte person but I’ve lived in NJ many years (though right near NY which is still where I consider myself ‘from’) and IME it’s only in fiction that it’s not a big deal in northern NJ to say ‘f you’ to a stranger. So I guess they’re saying honking your horn is a big deal in NC.
That said, there’s also that factor of fictionalized exaggerations of NY area norms which some people from outside the area seem to take at face value, plus the general variation among individuals. Lifelong from this area, I never honk at people except to warn of an emergency, or the lightest tap if they don’t get going when the light turns green in say 5 or 10 seconds (because they’re texting, usually), not after the ‘smallest measurable quantum of time’ as the joke goes, which I admit is pretty common around here.
I don’t want to put words in Southern Yankee’s mouth, but I believe he is saying that people of the south take exception to having a car horn honked at them, the same as if one yelled a hearty “F you!”. In other words, horn honking generally occurs less here.
As far as 4-way stops, I agree that they can be frustrating. It’s not so much that people don’t “get it” as much as they are trying to be nice. Southerners do need to learn that the key to good traffic flow is not to be polite, but be predictable.
It is. I don’t go OTP unless I have to. (yes, I know there are some good people, but I like my Decatur bubble, tyvm)
Does South Dakota count? Best thing is no state income taxes.
I dont think I can take the heat in the south especially places like Dallas Texas. Alabama was ok. Florida, to me, the only thing it has good going for it is the proximity to major theme parks and the oceans.
Exactly what I was trying to get across, Doctor Jackson.
Doctor Jackson and Southern Yankee, thanks for clarifying. I spent five years in China, and the use of the horn there is a requirement for getting a drivers license, so I was a little unsure.
Even here in Michigan, though, I tend to restrain myself from the horn. Today I was behind an idiot who wouldn’t turn on red (no sign prohibiting such), and I held back. I. Held. Back.
Yeah, but some say Maryland fried chicken is the best fried chicken you can get. I’ve seen “Maryland chicken” as a SYNONYM for pan-fried chicken.
I’m a total Yankee, spent my whole life in Cleveland, New England, and New York City, but I’ve traveled throughout the Southeast and as far west in the South as Missouri. It’s okay to visit, and if I lived there I’d slice my wrists within the week.
Born in Michigan and lived in Minneapolis and Columbus, OH before moving to Nashville. I like Nashville - There’s enough seasonal change to let you have a Spring and a Fall. I like most of the Southerners. Honestly, I think you’re going to be as happy as you let yourself be. A person with a bad attitude can always find something to complain about.
StG