# Norton's Zeal (and a mod warning) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 19, 2005, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nortons-zeal-and-a-mod-warning/326832 "2005-10-19T00:11:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2005, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nortons-zeal-and-a-mod-warning/326832/41 "2005-10-19T04:46:52Z")
> [@Eyer8](#): > > This may be pathetic. I have no anti-virus software… Oh, you must own a Mac like me! 😉 Bring the flames…bring it! ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2005, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nortons-zeal-and-a-mod-warning/326832/42 "2005-10-19T05:06:23Z")
Nortons = AVG + ZoneAlarm + $x ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2005, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nortons-zeal-and-a-mod-warning/326832/43 "2005-10-19T05:12:19Z")
**Scylla** , great rant. I’ll take you one further with those fuckers. I installed the software on my home system and paid for the one-year contract. After 8 months I had to completely wipe my HDD. Of course, I didn’t copy down any of the account info so I couldn’t reinstall the damn thing properly after recovering. I called Norton support to get the info and they didn’t have any record of the payment. :rolleyes: Nope. Not even after confirming the card, date, amount, and a DNA sample. I finally convinced them to reactivate teh remaining time, but Goddamn if I didn’t have to fend of liteally 20 minutes of them trying to convince me it was stupid to not pay an extra year and upgrade from 2004 to the 2005 version. At this point I lost it, but remained very calm with her and her supervisor. I stopped them both dead in their tracks with this: “Doesn’t the software update itself to the latest protection levels? What is with all the updates then if I still need 2005?” They got the point, I got the 4 months remaining. Oh yeah, and I also got avast! the day after the contract expired. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2005, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nortons-zeal-and-a-mod-warning/326832/44 "2005-10-19T05:35:13Z")
> [@jrfranchi](#): > > Would this make them Great Old Ones on speaking terms with **[Cthulhu](http://pantransit.reptiles.org/images/1996-07-28/Cthulhu.png)**? No, it’s worse: [They banned him.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/member.php?find=lastposter&t=231769) ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2005, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nortons-zeal-and-a-mod-warning/326832/45 "2005-10-19T05:38:01Z")
Holy crap! He was the one who started [the duck thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=220152)! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2005, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nortons-zeal-and-a-mod-warning/326832/46 "2005-10-19T05:53:29Z")
Just in case you’re serious about that Perl script, note that I’m not wearing my **Mod hat, on** the off chance that wearing it might accidentally trigger the keyword filter your script is no doubt using. While it is true that in the past I may have judged a few threads to be **not Pit-worthy** , they were not the paragon of relevance and wit that **this thread is. "Closed** minds don’t open doors," my grandmother used to say, while trying to figure out where the grandkids had run **off to. MPSIMS** would have been her favorite forum, I think, if not for her penchant for excessive vulgarity. [sub]That ought to take care of Mr. Wigglenose. Little fucker.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2005, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nortons-zeal-and-a-mod-warning/326832/47 "2005-10-19T05:55:55Z")
Well, y’know, **Scylla** , **TEXT IDENTIFIED AS DANGEROUS! THREAT LEVEL HIGH! EXCISED BY NORTON FOR YOUR PROTECTION! GRAB YOUR NUTSACK, MONKEY, FOR THE MOON RAYS ARE STRONG! AYIYIYIYIYI! CTHULHU FHTAGN! --The management.** at least as far as I’m concerned. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2005, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nortons-zeal-and-a-mod-warning/326832/48 "2005-10-19T07:43:12Z")
[google ad hijack]Remove both Symantic and pesky rabbits with one product! Click here[/google ad hijack] Yep, I had the paranoid, officious dictator Norton on my computer. Then I installed Windows XP, which hosed everything. Since I had PAID for Norton I attempted to contact Symantic. I got sent in a circle–the 800 number sent me to the web page, the web page gave me a “contact us” screen, and the contact person–who was in India, not that there’s anything wrong with that, sent me an email that referred me back to the 800 number. Eventually, after several days of frothing at the mouth, I got a code number to download the stuff again. Immediately after that, my computer slowed down. Way down. There could be only one explanation. So I took all the Symantec stuff off (and good luck with that, by the way, it hides all over the place, very tricky). At that point “frothing at the mouth” was a considerable understatement, so I fired off another round of emails that probably contributed some new vocabulary words to the folks at Customer Service [sic] (and no, I don’t mean bad ones, necesssarily). And oddly enough they did not ask me to renew! ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2005, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nortons-zeal-and-a-mod-warning/326832/49 "2005-10-19T07:59:18Z")
> [@Spavined Gelding](#): > > Back to the rabbit, at least you don’t have to dig a very big hole and you do have the option of eating it. You ought to see what is required when you have a dead horse on your hands. I think you just need to dig out a copy of the local phone book, yellow pages, and look under “knackers”, right? ---
**Author:** ![Cerri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3bc359/32.png) [@Cerri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cerri)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2005, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nortons-zeal-and-a-mod-warning/326832/50 "2005-10-19T10:27:24Z")
I’ve tried both Norton’s and MacAfee. They can both suck it. I’m pretty sure there’s _still_ bits of Norton’s floating around my backup computer, and I uninstalled it 2 years ago. Fuckers. AVG + ZoneAlarm ftw, and I didn’t have to pay anyone a dime. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![gommsn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bcef8e/32.png) [@gommsn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gommsn)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2005, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nortons-zeal-and-a-mod-warning/326832/51 "2005-10-19T11:21:37Z")
On **Andros’** recommendation in a recent thread, I now am running AVG. I now need to remove the remnants of an out-of-date Nortons. Anyone have a link to ZoneAlarm? Appreciate it, Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![haardvark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5ac83/32.png) [@haardvark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/haardvark)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2005, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nortons-zeal-and-a-mod-warning/326832/52 "2005-10-19T11:28:38Z")
I haven’t used Norton products at home in a number of years, but I did buy a copy of the McAfee protection suite in 2000 or so…g–d— thing left pecker tracks all over my registry when I decided to get rid of it (didn’t want to pay for the forced upgrade after less than one year :eek:) Ended up having to rebuild my o/s install from scratch. Another satisfied AVG user here. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2005, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nortons-zeal-and-a-mod-warning/326832/53 "2005-10-19T11:35:39Z")
> [@Spavined Gelding](#): > > Back to the rabbit, at least you don’t have to dig a very big hole and you do have the option of eating it. You ought to see what is required when you have a dead horse on your hands. Why does the eating option disappear just because it’s a horse? ---
**Author:** ![fluiddruid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fluiddruid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluiddruid)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2005, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nortons-zeal-and-a-mod-warning/326832/54 "2005-10-19T11:46:03Z")
> [@Scylla](#): > > That’s why I waited until you cruelly cast Cunctato’s thread on parking out of the pit and into the bland and anonymous obscurity of MPSIMS. That thread was not ready. ---
**Author:** ![Spavined\_Gelding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@Spavined\_Gelding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spavined_Gelding)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2005, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nortons-zeal-and-a-mod-warning/326832/55 "2005-10-19T12:21:03Z")
> [@Lynn Bodoni](#): > > I think you just need to dig out a copy of the local phone book, yellow pages, and look under “knackers”, right? The rendering works wants $200 to drag the poor beast off and then only when the shoes are removed. Try removing shoes from a dead horse without using a chainsaw. Better to hire an endloader. Big hole. Lots of quick lime. Children hysterical. ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2005, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nortons-zeal-and-a-mod-warning/326832/56 "2005-10-19T12:56:06Z")
> [@gommsn](#): > > Anyone have a link to ZoneAlarm? > > Appreciate it, Thanks. [Yer’ quite welcome](http://www.zonelabs.com/store/content/catalog/products/sku_list_za.jsp?dc=12bms&ctry=US&lang=en&lid=dbtopnav_zass) ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2005, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nortons-zeal-and-a-mod-warning/326832/57 "2005-10-19T13:00:42Z")
on the Tech side I rely on a good solid hardware firewall and would only use the Symantec AntiVirus Corporate ed. I have shortcut the update feature to autostart and this works nice with no pop-ups or annoyances. I am largely bug free. I have had 1 over 4 years. I am also an IT Professional and am not worried about Registry Surgery when I need to do it. IMHO: No software firewall really compares to a cheap hardware SOHO firewall and router and they are around the same price. ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2005, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nortons-zeal-and-a-mod-warning/326832/58 "2005-10-19T13:15:49Z")
> [@jrfranchi](#): > > IMHO: No software firewall really compares to a cheap hardware SOHO firewall and router and they are around the same price. **jrfranchi** , your attention is requested [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=338991). ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2005, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nortons-zeal-and-a-mod-warning/326832/59 "2005-10-19T13:24:28Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > What’s even worse is when some asshole pizza delivery guy parks blocking your driveway while he runs over to the neighbor’s place to deliver a pizza, except he forgot to put the damn car exactly into park and it starts to roll just as you’ve come out to yell at the guy to get the hell out of your driveway before you call the cops and it rolls over your mailbox and gets hung up on the broken post with the trunk still blocking your driveway and the pizza guy comes back screaming and ranting and swearing because he’s got a dozen more pizzas and a chicken Caesar salad still left to deliver and he can’t get the car free and he punches out the side window in frustration and you’re suddenly enveloped in the aroma of fresh hot pizzas and a whiff of grilled chicken and your mouth is watering so bad you spit froth all over your shirt as you yell at the guy to get the damned car off your mailbox and all the while you’re sidling up to it and you try to reach in and grab a pizza without the guy noticing but he whirls around from pounding on the hood just as you reach in and screams at you and you jerk your hand out and cut your arm on the broken glass of the window and it starts spurting blood and you shriek at the guy to put a tourniquet on before you bleed to death and he bellows back that it’s your own damned fault for trying to steal his pizza and what the hell were you doing leaving a mailbox right where his car could get stuck on it and he threatens to punch your lights out if you don’t get his car free right now and you’re starting to feel faint from loss of blood and you sag against the car and your weight rocks it just enough that it lurches off the post and the pizza guy yanks open the door and jumps in and revs the engine and hurls a last burst of obscenities at you and peels rubber out of your driveway and as you sink to the ground you hear sirens approaching and the second last thing you think as you slump over is I wonder if he realizes his radiator’s punctured and the very last thought you have as you slide into unconsciousness is damn I coulda used a pizza right now even with anchovies. I _hate_ when that happens. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2005, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nortons-zeal-and-a-mod-warning/326832/60 "2005-10-19T13:29:27Z")
> [@Scott Plaid](#): > > **jrfranchi** , your attention is requested [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=338991). Sorry that is out of my league, by SOHO I mean Small office/Home office and I meant the Sub $100 Broadband router/firewall solutions. I like D-Link and SMC the best in this category. He needs a good Linux geek with I think it is called Coyote. It can turn a 486 into a bulletproof firewall and router apparently. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nortons-zeal-and-a-mod-warning/326832.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nortons-zeal-and-a-mod-warning/326832.md?page=4)