# Nosy people at work **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 5, 2009, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nosy-people-at-work/498881 "2009-06-05T23:09:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2009, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nosy-people-at-work/498881/41 "2009-06-09T19:37:32Z")
> [@Projammer](#): > > And I would have dropped a couple of dollars in your case for the entertainment. And I would have taken it. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2009, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nosy-people-at-work/498881/42 "2009-06-09T19:53:24Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > If someone takes something off of your dinner plate, I feel it is time to use your fork, if you don’t have a steak knife available, to stab their hand. Rudeness should receive rudeness, and preferably a disincentive to repeat the unwanted behavior. Agreed, though I think rudeness should be met with solid boundaries. And sharp objects. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2009, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nosy-people-at-work/498881/43 "2009-06-09T21:30:25Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > When I was a small child, I was taught not to touch other people’s stuff unless invited. This included toys. Unless someone specifically hands someone else an item, personal stuff is NOT to be touched. > > It’s really not a hard concept to grasp, though apparently some people feel quite comfortable picking up someone’s stuff and getting fingerprints all over it, or possibly damaging a fragile item. It’s a question of boundary issues I agree. Some people in **incubus** ’ common area obviously don’t have such respect for boundaries, and it would be an uphill (and I predict fruitless) battle to attempt to teach grown adults such things barring the ‘fork-in-the-hand’ or a limited nuclear strike. I think you and **tdn** are assuming that the general public were brought up with the same instruction that you, **tdn** and I were: that you just _don’t_ do that. However, this is simply not the case. . . Common values aren’t so common. > [@tdn](#): > > I couldn’t disagree with you more. Bringing an object to a public space does not make it community property. Keep that in mind the next time you take your purse out of your home. You’re right, bringing an object doesn’t make it community property, but it makes it community _accessible_. It’s much easier to grab the proverbial purse off your shoulder if you’re walking down the street, versus if you’re wearing it inside your house behind a closed door or on a table in your garage next to the 2d6. Being that common values aren’t so common across the board, the only thing I see as a possibility is that **incubus** just leaves his delicates at home. It’s been demonstrated before someone’ll fuck with 'em. By bringing them again, he just invites more frustration on himself. Conversely, if he smacks someone with a spoon, he’ll just invite more attention in gawkers of the spoon-smack, and those people will then, in turn, want to play with his toys too. Discretion is the key, here. I’m not saying he and his friend can’t discuss or even read about Warhammer 40k. I just don’t think he ought to play with his toys in such a hostile environment. Tripler Quote Paul Newman in _Slap Shot_, _“They brought their toys! They brought their fuckin’ toys!”_ ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2009, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nosy-people-at-work/498881/44 "2009-06-09T22:10:00Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > The car did have a sunroof… But did it open more than an inch? ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2009, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nosy-people-at-work/498881/45 "2009-06-09T23:27:27Z")
> [@t-bonham@scc.net](#): > > One of those times when you had the doors taken apart, why didn’t you just disconnect the wires to the window buttons? :smack: > [@](#): > > People can be so moronic. Guilty as charged! > [@gigi](#): > > But did it open more than an inch? Yup. I loved it. Kept it open in all weather. Learned my lesson one day when I opened it when there was three inches of snow on the roof… ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nosy-people-at-work/498881/46 "2009-06-10T00:19:56Z")
If everyone was messing with everyone’s shit, then yeah, I’d kind of have it coming if they messed with mine, and their own behavior would dictate whether it was worth it to spend my downtime getting some models put together/armylists drawn up for a game. But they don’t bother the woman knitting some strange article (is it a bag? a scarf? who knows!) in a wierd pattern, or the guys playing dominoes who are obviously very into their game because they are yelling and screaming at each move. Nor are they standing behind the guy playing texas holdem with work friends and saying, “Oh wow, bad luck, huh?” Its annoying and a violation of my personal space because they’ll respect _other_ people’s space, but not mine. I don’t mind answering questions about what I’m doing, and people are welcome to look at my little plastic spacemen if _they ask me_. Given that they seem so fiercely guarded about their own personal space in regards to passengers and stuff I would have assumed they’d be respectful of others. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nosy-people-at-work/498881/47 "2009-06-10T01:28:36Z")
> [@Incubus](#): > > If everyone was messing with everyone’s shit, then yeah, I’d kind of have it coming if they messed with mine, and their own behavior would dictate whether it was worth it to spend my downtime getting some models put together/armylists drawn up for a game. > > But they don’t bother the woman knitting some strange article (is it a bag? a scarf? who knows!) in a wierd pattern, or the guys playing dominoes who are obviously very into their game because they are yelling and screaming at each move. Nor are they standing behind the guy playing texas holdem with work friends and saying, “Oh wow, bad luck, huh?” Those other activities are _somewhat familiar_ to people: the knitting, the dominoes, the cards. People _know_ from a distance what they’re doing. But painting spacemen is different and they _don’t know_. Of course they’re going to be curious. You stick out like a sore thumb, and people don’t know why. It’s so unfamiliar, they can’t associate it with anything familiar, like playing cards or reading a book. You have unanticipated and unintended publicity. One can’t cure their curiosity, but one can remove their reason for it. I have had a similar problem walking through an airport in uniform. Unintended, unanticipated attention. Every Tom, Dick, and Harry wanted to come over and thank me for whatever–I was highly uncomfortable. Nobody touched me (except to shake hands), nobody messed with my things. It was just annoying. And that was the last time I ever went through an airport in uniform. Tripler I belabor it, but I think you see my point. Agree with it or not, it’s your break room–do as you please. ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nosy-people-at-work/498881/48 "2009-06-10T01:30:54Z")
The other thing I do is ‘distraction toys’. I keep a couple Kid’s Transformers on my desk at work, so people don’t touch my more expensive widgets. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nosy-people-at-work/498881/49 "2009-06-10T16:20:04Z")
**Incubus** , I think the Miss Manners suggested response would be an exaggerated gasp as soon any anybody touches anything, followed by something like, “Please don’t pick that up, it’s fragile/it’s freshly painted/I thought it might have been one of the ones I just painted/etc.” Basically, you’re giving them a polite social cue for “ask me before you touch my fucking shit, asshole.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nosy-people-at-work/498881.md?page=2)